Chapter 5: I've messed up!
"You should meet him if you like him" Brittany says. As much as it pains her to say it, she knows a good friend has to do the best for her friend.
"Apart from me acting like an ass, I did think we got on well" Santana admits.
"Meet up with him then" Brittany states.
"Ok, I'll text him back right now" Santana says while thinking through what she wants to say before she actually texts back. "Wait what do I say?"
"Just say you'd like to hang out and you're free…whenever you are free" Brittany replies. "You don't need to write an essay, just be casual and act chilled."
"Ok" Santana nods.
"I'll keep wrapping these presents while you do that" Brittany says and Santana nods again before finally thinking of something to text.
"Ok it's sorted, we're meeting for drinks tomorrow" Santana sighs happily. "Oh Britt, what if he's the one?" she says starting to get excited.
"Yeah he could be" Brittany smiles but it's forced. She never even thought this could happen where one of Santana's dates would text her and end up wanting to meet up again. I mean sure she knows Santana is a great person and any guy would be lucky to have her but the dates Santana went on recently all seemed to end badly.
"I'll need to figure out something nice to wear because I have to make a good impression. I can't have another disaster date like our first one because then there's no chance of James wanting to keep seeing me" Santana says.
"I'm sure it'll be ok" Brittany states.
"Will you help me?" Santana asks.
"Help you with what?" Brittany asks slightly confused.
"Will you help me get ready for the date tomorrow?" Santana asks. "I need help to pick out what to wear; what to say; what to do or what not to do."
"Um…" Brittany doesn't know if she wants to do this. It might be a bit uncomfortable for her.
"Please" Santana almost begs.
"Uh…actually I can't" Brittany smiles realising that she actually can't help.
"Oh" Santana nods sadly.
"I just remembered my manager asked if I wanted to stay on late tomorrow night and she'll show me some of the things they need to do at night when closing" Brittany replies. "It's like till checks and preparations for the morning."
"Oh that's cool" Santana smiles.
"I'm sorry I would have helped if I could" Brittany says genuinely because as much as she didn't want to do that, she probably would have gave in in the end if she was available. "It's just I wanted to know more about running the business and she said she'd show me. I mean to begin with I might start catering on my own but eventually I do want to open a shop or something."
"It's ok Brittany, it's cool" Santana says honestly.
"I'm sure you'll be ok anyway on your date. Who wouldn't want to date you?" Brittany smiles.
"Thanks" Santana says returning the smile.
"Hey maybe Claire or Quinn could help you if you're not sure" Brittany suggests.
"Yeah they might be able to, I just wasn't sure if it was too short notice and they'd have plans with their boyfriends" Santana replies.
"But yet you assumed I wouldn't be busy because I have this boring lonely life or something" Brittany teases.
"Of course not" Santana smiles. "I just never heard you mention you were busy so I just wondered whereas I haven't spoken to Quinn in a few days so I didn't know either way."
"It's ok, I'm only messing" Brittany replies.
"So how many more presents do we need to wrap?" Santana asks as she's starting to get bored.
"I've got quite a few but we can stop if you want" Brittany says.
"Sorry I was just getting really bored but I'll help you again if you want. I just needed a break right now" Santana replies.
"That's cool" Brittany smiles. "So what do you want to do now?"
"How about we just have lunch?" Santana suggests.
"That's cool" Brittany smiles. "Shall I make us something?"
"Yes please" Santana replies sweetly.
"That was your angle all along wasn't it?" Brittany laughs.
"You know me too well" Santana says laughing.
XXX
After Brittany made them lunch, they went back to wrapping the presents. Brittany figured she'd put her iPod on as they did it so it wasn't as boring as before.
"Oh we need to turn this song up, it's one of my favourite Christmas songs" Santana states.
"Ok" Brittany shrugs while turning the speakers up. Santana then begins singing along to the song and ends up drifting into her own world really going for it. Brittany can't help but smile at her.
"What?" Santana says embarrassed when she notices Brittany. "Why are you staring at me?"
"I didn't mean to stare but that was really cute. You just started singing your heart out" Brittany continues to smile.
"Sorry, sometimes I get lost in the words of a song if I'm really into it" Santana says, still embarrassed.
"It's nothing to be embarrassed about, like I say I thought it was cute" Brittany smiles.
"Thanks" Santana blushes slightly.
"I don't think I've ever heard you sing before but you're a really good singer" Brittany points out.
"Thanks" Santana smiles.
"I mean like a really good singer Santana. I don't mean you're just good, I mean you could really do something in music if you wanted" Brittany states.
"I did actually used to want to be a singer. I was in glee club and everything at school" Santana replies.
"So what happened, why did you go to university and study finance?" Brittany asks.
"It's one of those things, it's like a dream but probably not realistic enough. I couldn't take the risk and not go to university because then I'd have no backup plan and probably not have a career in music either. I mean I'm good but not that good" Santana states.
"I think you are Santana and I'm not just saying that" Brittany says. "You're still young you know and you've got your backup plan now so perhaps you should look into music."
"I don't have a backup plan though. I mean I have a degree and I can't even use it" Santana laughs. "I'm not even working in that area so technically I still don't have anything to fall back on if music didn't work."
"All I'm saying is, don't give up. I'm still following my dream even though it's failing miserably right now" Brittany says.
"The thing about music is that it was probably just a really good hobby. I do actually like what I did at college and I would like a career in that. I really can't see myself as an artist" Santana says.
"That's cool" Brittany smiles. "Just don't give up, no matter what it is."
"I'm not going to do that with you in my life. You're a major inspiration to me and a really good friend Britt" Santana smiles.
"Thanks" Brittany says blushing slightly.
It's Santana's 2nd date with James tonight and Brittany can't stop thinking about it. No matter how hard she tries to occupy herself with work, she just keeps thinking about Santana and how badly she has developed feelings for her. Sure she wants Santana to be happy but she just wishes she had the courage to at least be honest with Santana before she gets into something with James.
She is just wiping down the counter in the diner when Mercedes comes in.
"Hey I didn't expect to see you today, aren't you meant to be working?" Brittany smiles at her friend.
"I've switched shifts with someone so I'm just about to go into work now. I wanted to grab a quick coffee and catch up with my best friend first" Mercedes replies. "I feel like I haven't seen you in ages."
"Sorry about that" Brittany says feeling bad.
"I think Santana is taking up all of your time at the moment which I must say has hurt me" Mercedes teases.
"I'm sure you'll survive" Brittany smiles.
"Seriously though, we should go out some time. Have a bit of a Christmas night out, I could ask the others" Mercedes suggests. "It doesn't need to be anything fancy, just a good catch up and some dinner."
"Sounds good" Brittany nods.
"Hey do you want to invite Santana and some of her friends. It might be nice to get to know them since you and Santana are so close now" Mercedes says.
"That would be nice so I'll ask her" Brittany smiles. She'd like to get to know Santana's friends and she'd like Santana to get to know her friends too.
"So how are things with you?" Mercedes asks as Brittany pours her some coffee.
"Kinda not great to be honest" Brittany sighs.
"Oh, what's happened?" Mercedes asks concerned.
"I've fucked up Mercedes" Brittany groans. "Like majorly fucked up."
"What do you mean?" Mercedes frowns in confusion.
"I'm falling for Santana and now I think she's falling for someone else" Brittany sighs. "You know how I told you about her situation, well some guy she went on a date with last week asked her out again and she really likes him."
"Oh honey" Mercedes says while comfortingly placing her hand on Brittany's.
"I know it was stupid of me to let things develop but honestly, I can't stop thinking about Santana. No matter how hard I try to tell myself we'll only ever be friends, I just can't stop wanting to be with her" Brittany sighs.
"Honey I really do wish we could talk more but I do have to get to work but come by my place tonight. We can order a pizza or something and we'll talk" Mercedes says.
"Pizza isn't going to bring me Santana but ok" Brittany sighs again.
"I'll see you later, ok" Mercedes says while getting up from her seat.
"Yeah, see you later" Brittany smiles sadly.
XXX
Brittany and Mercedes are hanging out. The pizza has just been delivered and now they're sitting down to talk. Brittany is starting to explain her situation and what led her to develop feelings for Santana.
"We slept together" Brittany sighs.
"Ok back right up" Mercedes says shaking her head. "Um…how the hell did that happen?"
"It kinda started out as a joke but not really" Brittany starts. "I said to her one day that maybe she wasn't exploring all her options for finding the right person. Maybe she should look into the possibility of girls too since she was having such a crap time with the guys she dated."
"Ok" Mercedes nods.
"Then we ended up at a bar because I suggested Santana just looked to see if she was even possibly attracted to girls. It wasn't to get her to hook-up or anything, it was just to see if she would be into girls. Basically cut a long story short, she said she did find girls attractive but it was just too soon to really know what it meant" Brittany says. "We then went back to her place and hung out with a few more drinks then we started joking around a bit and she asked what it was like to kiss a girl so eventually we kissed just as fun but then we sort of agreed it might also be fun to have sex because neither of us had been with anyone recently and we did find each other attractive."
"Ok so Santana isn't into girls or she is?" Mercedes asks slightly confused.
"It's not as simple as that but she said if she was then she'd go for someone like me" Brittany replies.
"Ok" Mercedes nods, "so you sort of developed feelings from there?"
"Yeah kinda but it was probably a little before when we were just hanging out as friends. I mean don't get me wrong, I never wanted her to suddenly turn gay for me just because I liked her. I was ok with just being friends but our night of fun has kinda made that worse" Brittany states.
"So even though you liked her, you knew nothing would happen and were ok with friends until you slept together and your feelings got worse" Mercedes asks to clarify.
"Yeah something like that" Brittany nods.
"I think I understand where you're coming from" Mercedes says beginning to make sense of things. "So I assume Santana doesn't know you have feelings for her?"
"No definitely not" Brittany shakes her head. "I don't think I could tell her either because she's dating James now. In fact they're on a date right now as we speak."
"She's your friend though, don't you think you should be honest with her?" Mercedes asks.
"I know I should be but what if it makes her uncomfortable. What if she thinks I'm going to jump her in the night or something and doesn't want to be friends anymore" Brittany says.
"Come on Brittany, you've got lots of straight girls who are your friends and Santana seems really fond of you so I doubt she'll not want to be your friend. I mean she might be slightly awkward because it's a friend who has feelings for her but it won't be because you're a girl" Mercedes replies.
"I don't want to lose Santana as my friend though. Eventually I should be able to deal with these feelings but it'd kill me to lose her in every way" Brittany says.
"I don't know Santana but I doubt she'd be like that. She might surprise you and actually be quite understanding" Mercedes says.
"I just don't want to freak her out" Brittany sighs. "I do hate lying to her though."
It's the day after Santana's 2nd date with James and she and Brittany are hanging out at Brittany's house. Santana is helping Brittany wrap the rest of the presents they didn't get done a few days ago.
"So are you going to see James again?" Brittany asks nervously.
"I don't know, I mean I hope so but it depends if he likes me" Santana replies. "I mean last night's date certainly went better than the first one so here's hoping."
"You sound like you really like him" Brittany says sadly.
"I do Britt" Santana replies happily. "I know I was on a timeframe to find the one but with James I don't even feel like I'm forcing it."
"Well I'm happy for you" Brittany says trying her best to sound upbeat about it.
"So anyway, enough about me. What have you been up to recently?" Santana asks.
"Well I hung out with Mercedes last night and we just ordered pizza and had a bit of catch up" Brittany replies.
"Cool" Santana smiles. "I'd like to meet Mercedes sometime and your other friends."
"Funny you say that actually because we were just talking about how my friends should meet yours. Mercedes suggested we should all go out sometime and maybe get dinner" Brittany replies.
"I'd be up for that" Santana nods. "Did you guys mean before Christmas or after?"
"We were thinking before but it's really not long until Christmas so I don't know if we'd all manage at such short notice" Brittany replies.
"I mean I'm working tomorrow doing that swapped shift but I'm free in the evening and I think Quinn said she and Artie weren't busy tomorrow when I spoke to her today. I mean tomorrow might suit since it's a weekend and we're usually all off Sundays" Santana replies.
"Actually I'm free tomorrow and I'm sure Mercedes is. I couldn't quickly text the rest of my friends to see what they're up to. We could all go to dinner if everyone is free" Brittany says.
"It sounds good to me" Santana smiles. "I'll just double check with my friends to make sure tomorrow would be ok for them."
After they both texted their friends and figured out tomorrow would suit everyone, Santana called and booked at table at a nice restaurant that everyone should like. It serves a variety of different foods so they figured that was best so everyone could have what they wanted and hopefully everyone should be able to pick a dish they like.
"So are you busy Sunday morning or do you want to go out running again?" Santana asks.
"No I can do that" Brittany smiles.
"Cool" Santana smiles back. "It has to be maybe slightly later in the morning though if we'll be drinking tomorrow night. I don't think I could handle running while being so hungover."
"Yeah, me neither" Brittany laughs.
"I'm actually really excited about tomorrow night and meeting your friends. I think it'd be nice to get to know what your friends think of you" Santana smiles.
"If you think you're going to ask them to tell you embarrassing stories about me then you're greatly mistaken" Brittany states. She's joking really though.
"But I want to know everything about you, including embarrassing stories" Santana smirks.
"Hey if you do ask them then it'll be tit-for-tat and I'll ask your friends to dish the dirt on you" Brittany warns. "Every time you ask something embarrassing about me, I'll return the favour and ask your friends about you."
"I don't mind you knowing embarrassing stuff about me because you already kind of do" Santana shrugs unfazed.
"I barely know anything embarrassing about you Santana. Your definition of embarrassing must be different to mine because anything you have told me isn't all that bad" Brittany states.
"So feeling James up on the first date wasn't embarrassing?" Santana questions.
"Probably not since you had another date with him last night" Brittany replies.
"I suppose" Santana shrugs.
It's a couple of days later and Brittany is making her way over to Santana's place. They all went out with their friends last night and seemed to have a great time. Brittany's friends seemed to love Santana and Santana's friends seemed to love Brittany. They all had dinner and then Sam invited them back to his bar to all have a few drinks. Santana managed to persuade him to let them all have the drinks on the house so it was a pretty good night.
As soon as Brittany arrives at Santana's apartment she knocks a couple of times on the door before walking in. They're such good friends now that they don't even need to wait until the other answers the door before they walk in.
"Hey, it's me" Brittany shouts while closing the door. "Santana?" she shouts when she gets no response.
"I'm here, sorry" Santana states while hurriedly walking out of the bathroom.
"Ooh lala Santana lopez in a towel" Brittany smirks.
"I'm sorry, I slept in so I'm not even ready yet" Santana says while frantically running around trying to get ready. "I think all that wine last night made me sleepy because it was 11am before I knew it."
"Do you want me to do anything for you?" Brittany asks.
"No it's ok, hopefully I won't be too long but thanks" Santana smiles.
"Ok cool" Brittany nods.
"Feel free to get yourself a drink if you want while you wait" Santana says before walking to her bedroom to get changed.
"I'm fine but thank you" Brittany replies before taking a seat on the couch to wait for Santana. As soon as Santana is ready, she joins Brittany in the living room.
"Sorry about that, like I say I don't know how I slept so long" Santana states.
"It's fine, there's no rush to go out running" Brittany smiles.
"Ok" Santana nods. "Hey what's that?" she asks while noticing Brittany has placed a bag on the table.
"I know it's perhaps a little early but I wanted to give you your Christmas present now" Brittany says and Santana instantly gets excited, "but you can't open it just now. You need to wait until Christmas day."
"Oh what" Santana groans.
"I just wanted you to have it so you could put it under your tree but please refrain from opening it" Brittany pleads. She knows how Santana can be when she gets excited about something.
"I'll try my hardest but it won't be easy" Santana states.
"Good" Brittany smiles.
"I did actually get you a present too but I haven't finished wrapping it yet" Santana says. "I'll give it to you soon though."
"There's no rush, it's ok" Brittany smiles.
"Anyway shall we go before we can't be bothered running anymore?" Santana asks.
"Yeah we should" Brittany nods. They then head out on their run.
They're about thirty minutes into their run when Brittany notices Santana has done nothing but talk about James the whole time. She doesn't mind Santana is happy but it bothers her because she knows Santana could never talk about her like that because she and Santana are only ever going to be friends. It then dawns on her that Santana mentioned James a few times last night as well.
"So you were saying last night that James is coming over tonight and then you're going out for dinner?" Brittany asks.
"Yeah he's picking me up" Santana replies.
"Cool" Brittany nods.
"What about you, do you have any plans tonight?" Santana asks.
"No not really" Brittany shakes her head.
"You're very quiet Britt, what's going on?" Santana asks.
"Nothing" Brittany smiles.
"If there's something wrong then you can tell me. I'm a good listener" Santana replies.
"Honestly I'm fine" Brittany smiles again, hoping Santana will drop the subject soon.
"Is it because I keep talking about James?" Santana asks.
"No" Brittany shakes her head.
"It is isn't it?" Santana sighs. "I'm sorry I shouldn't be going on about it when I know you're single at the moment."
"I don't mind being single right now" Brittany states.
"Yeah maybe not but you have said before that you do want to settle down soon" Santana says.
"I know but I'm not in a rush" Brittany replies.
"I know I've got James now but it doesn't mean I'm not going to help you find someone because I will. I want you to be happy too" Santana smiles.
"No that's really not necessary" Brittany shakes her head.
"No you've been so helpful to me recently so I want to return the favour" Santana tells her.
"I'm not looking for anyone just now" Brittany says.
"Ok well when you are then I'll help you" Santana says.
"Ok" Brittany sighs.
XXX
"I won't be a minute. I just need to grab a jacket" Santana says.
"That's cool, I'll just wait here" James smiles.
"Ok" Santana smiles back before leaving the room.
For some reason, Santana can't see to find the jacket she really wanted to wear so it's taking her longer to get ready because she has to decide on another one. This leaves James standing awkwardly in the middle of the living room not sure what to do. He didn't want to sit down because Santana said she wouldn't be long but he doesn't want to seem nosy and look around her apartment either. After a few minutes of waiting, he just happens to glance at the table and notices a present sitting on it so he's curious to know whether Santana is giving it to someone or receiving it. He takes a quick look at the label before frowning.
To the hottest girl I know
Merry Christmas
Britt xxx
"Ok I'm ready" Santana says walking into the room.
"Who's Britt?" James asks while continuing to frown at the label on the present.
"She's a good friend of mine, why?" Santana asks.
"The message on your Christmas present seems a little forward, no?" James asks.
"That's just Britt" Santana smiles thinking about Brittany. "I should probably put that under the tree though before I'm tempted to open it. I've been on strict orders not to open it until Christmas."
"Well that generally is the idea with Christmas presents, they're for Christmas not before" James smiles.
"Ok smarty pants" Santana says while playfully nudging James. "But anyway, that's from Britt and she brought it round this morning before we went running."
"I see" James nods.
"I still need to finish sorting Brittany's present from me though" Santana says while placing the gift under the tree.
"Wait, Britt is Brittany?" James asks and Santana nods. "She doesn't happen to be the friend of yours that's into girls does she?" James asks.
"Yeah, why?" Santana asks not seeing the point.
"I was just wondering because the message on the label does sound kinda flirty" James states.
"I don't know if I would say flirty but Brittany and I are super close. She's practically my best friend" Santana replies.
"Isn't Quinn your best friend?" James asks.
"Technically yes but she's got Artie now so we're maybe not as close as we used to be. I mean we're still close but if I have a problem nine times out of ten I go to Britt and Quinn would go to Artie" Santana shrugs. They haven't fallen out or anything, it's just the way things have worked out and they're both happy about it.
"I know we haven't been dating long but you do talk about Brittany a lot Santana and I mean a lot" James points out. "Every second sentence is about Brittany…hell we're even talking about her now."
"I'm confused. What is your problem with Brittany?" Santana asks. "I just said we're best friends so it's no wonder I talk about her."
"Well I'm just beginning to wonder if maybe she has a crush or something on you. I mean I know you're straight so you'd never be interested in Brittany but she is gay Santana and she does sound very flirty towards you" James says.
"Ok let me stop you there" Santana shakes her head. "Does it really matter one way or another even if she did have a crush on me. I mean I'm dating you anyway so what difference does it make?" she asks. She doesn't think it really should change anything because they're friends anyway.
"It would just be a little awkward if she did, that's all" James replies.
"Awkward for who?" Santana asks. "You or me?"
"Look we're ruining our night, let's not talk about this right now. Let's just go out for dinner and have fun" James says.