Chapter 6: He's not the one for you, I am
"Does it really matter one way or another even if Brittany did have a crush on me. I mean I'm dating you anyway so what difference does it make?" Santana asks.
"It would just be a little awkward if she did, that's all" James replies.
"Awkward for who?" Santana asks. "You or me?"
"Look we're ruining our night, let's not talk about this right now. Let's just go out for dinner and have fun" James says.
"I'm sorry but I'm not in the mood anymore" Santana sighs shaking her head.
"Look I didn't mean any harm in what I said. I just like you Santana and I don't want anything to come between us. I want us to be open and honest from the start. I've had past relationships where it ended because we couldn't be honest with one another" James says.
"There's honest James and there's damn right rude" Santana states unamused by the situation. "Brittany is one of my closest friends and I can't have you saying bad things about her. She would never hurt anyone so for you to say something bad about her really gets to me."
"Santana I just want a relationship with you not with Brittany too so don't you think you should take some time apart" James replies.
"You've never even met Brittany so you're exaggerating right now plus Brittany won't come between us anyway because she's not like that. She knows I like you and we're dating now" Santana says.
"Can we just forget about this and go to dinner?" James asks. "I'm busy this week coming up to Christmas so I want to spend time with you."
"No James, I'm not going to just give into you or your charm. This isn't how things will work so no matter what you say or do to try and win me over tonight, it's not going to work" Santana states with finality.
"But…"
"No buts, you offended me by your comments about Brittany so I don't want to go to dinner with you anymore. I've explained why it annoyed me so let's leave it at that and you go home" Santana replies.
"Fine, be like that" James shrugs before leaving.
Santana takes a minute to compose herself and then goes and gets changed. As soon as she's done, she heads out and decides to visit her gran. She doesn't want to just cling onto James to give her gran her wish. She's decided she wants to be honest with her gran and if James is the one then fine but if he isn't then it's ok. She's not going to stay with him if he can't respect her friends. She just needs a moment to think about things but if James says something else to disrespect anyone she really cares about then she doesn't want to date him anymore.
"Santana, what are you doing here?" her gran asks as she opens the door.
"I just wanted to see you" Santana smiles.
"Come in then" Alma says while moving from the door and letting Santana in.
"Sorry I made you get up to answer the door but I forgot my keys" Santana apologises as they make their way to the kitchen.
"That's ok, I should be moving my legs a bit anyway so a little walk to the door won't do me any harm" Alma smiles.
"I wanted to talk to you about something grandma but let me make us some coffee first" Santana says while going over to the kettle and boiling it. "Do you know you really should get a coffee machine gran because all your visitors like coffee?"
"No I'd rather keep my money for other things Santana" Alma states.
"No offence but what else are you going to spend the money on now?" Santana asks.
"My grandchildren perhaps" Alma smirks.
"I don't need your money grandma" Santana smiles.
"Wouldn't you rather have it now than fight over it when I die?" Alma teases.
"Seriously grandma, I don't want your money" Santana smiles.
"Let me give you it for when you get married then" Alma says.
"Grandma can we please not talk about money right now. It's yours for you to decide but all I'm saying is you don't owe me any money" Santana says.
"I know I don't owe you it but it's nice to be able to give your children and grandchildren or possibly great-grandchildren some money" she smirks at Santana.
"Oh no, I am not having children any time soon. If you want some great-grandchildren then go to my brother. Marc is the one who is married already" Santana laughs. "Anyway the coffee is made now so let's sit down" she says motioning over to the table.
"So you want to talk?" Alma says as she sits down.
"Yeah" Santana nods, "it's about this wish of yours to see me married before you die."
"I better still be at your wedding Santana Lopez" Alma warns.
"I'd love you to be there grandma but are you sure it has to be really soon. You seem in good health at the moment, well as good health as you can be" Santana says.
"Santana, we've had this conversation before" Alma sighs.
"I know but I've made a mistake grandma" Santana shakes her head feeling bad. "When I told you I was already with someone, I was lying and now it's like a mad rush to actually make this wish happen. I want you at my wedding so bad but I can't rush into a marriage when I barely know the person. I mean I'm not single anymore but I'm definitely not ready for marriage. I did want to tell you but I was too embarrassed and I didn't want to make you upset."
"Oh Santana" Alma smiles.
"Why are you smiling, this isn't funny" Santana sighs.
"Ok I may have been hyping things up slightly. Look yes I'm not getting any younger and I'm not in the best of health but I may have exaggerated with my timing" Alma admits.
"What do you mean?" Santana asks unsure.
"I knew you were single Santana, I just wanted you to be serious and find someone soon" Alma smiles.
"Oh is that so?" Santana says slightly mad but at the end of the day she could never been that mad with her grandma.
"Of course I still want to be at your wedding and I do still want it sooner rather than later but I did make things seem a little more serious just so you'd get moving" Alma says. "You wouldn't have worked your butt off to find the one if I hadn't been so dramatic now would you?"
"Um…" Santana knows her gran is right. "I suppose you are right and it did make me get my life together a bit more."
"How about a little compensation for putting you through all that stress?" Alma says joking about the money.
"Right now with how mad I am, I wouldn't be opposed to taking everything you have" Santana teases back.
"Seriously though, I just wanted you to find that someone you're meant to be with and now you have" Alma smiles.
"Well I hope I have, it's really early days and we did sort of have a disagreement tonight" Santana sighs.
"I'm sure you'll work it out, you two are meant to be" Alma smiles.
"I hope we are" Santana says slightly worried. If they can have a fight already and have barely been dating long then it doesn't make her feel good about things right now.
"Do you know what I don't understand though?" Alma asks and Santana shakes her head. "Why you never told me Santana." She's not necessarily disappointed in Santana but more at the fact Santana couldn't come to her about it.
"Tell you what grandma?" Santana asked confused. "I mean I've just explained why I didn't want to tell you to begin with about the fact I was single."
"I'm not talking about that" Alma shakes her head.
"Then what" Santana says clearly still confused.
"That you and Brittany are a couple" Alma states as if it's obvious.
"A couple?" Santana questions. "We're a couple of girls who care about each other but we're not a couple."
"Oh pull the other one" Alma shakes her head.
"Grandma I'm not lying. Brittany and I are strictly friends" Santana states. "What could possibly give you the impression we were together?"
"For starters the way you talk about her and then we have the fact that I've already met her plus you seem to spend every day with her" Alma replies.
"We don't spend every day together" Santana says.
"What did you do last night and what were you up to this morning?" Alma asks.
"Ok fine we and all our friends went out last night and I did go running with Brittany this morning" Santana replies.
"See there we go" Alma smiles.
"It's not every day though. I mean I work most of the week" Santana points out.
"Ok it's every free day that you have that you spend together" Alma says.
"Wait a second, we're drifting from the point. Ok yes we're good friends but we sure as hell aren't a couple or in a relationship" Santana states.
"Look if you're going to marry Brittany then I'm ok with that" Alma sighs. "I just wish you could have been honest with me, you know?"
"Grandma I swear I am being honest. Brittany and I are just friends" Santana says. She's beginning to get annoyed now that her gran isn't listening to her.
"You don't have to cover it up because I do support you" Alma says honestly.
"No grandma, you have it all wrong" Santana shakes her head. "I'm with James and James is the one I'm going to marry."
"James?" Alma questions. "Who the hell is James? I've never met a James before."
"I know you haven't met him but that's because we're still dating at the moment. It's very early on but if things do work out then I'll be marrying him" Santana replies.
"No I can't give you my blessing on that. I don't know a James" Alma shakes her head.
"Wait that's why you seemed so sure we were meant to be because you thought it was Brittany" Santana says beginning to make a bit of sense of why Alma seemed so sure things would work out.
"Yes I thought it was Brittany and maybe if you open your eyes you'll see that it could still be Brittany" Alma says. "I mean she is a lesbian isn't she?"
"Yes she's a lesbian gran but it doesn't mean I need to be with her because of it. She can still have straight friends" Santana replies.
"I'm not saying you have to be with her because of that; I'm saying it because it seems like you should be together" Alma says.
"I'm straight though gran" Santana sighs.
"Look I don't know much about sexuality and what you kids wish to be called anymore but what I do know is that you and Brittany seem perfect. To me it shouldn't be about what you are, it should be about what you want" Alma replies.
"I understand what you're saying but Brittany and I are just friends so can we leave it there please" Santana says frustrated.
Brittany has just finished work and she decides to call Santana since they haven't spoken in a few days apart from a text here or there. After dialling the number, she waits a few moments before the call ends up going straight to voicemail so she leaves a message.
Hey it's Brittany, just wondering if you could give me a call back. Ok bye
It's been happening a lot recently. Brittany can't seem to get a hold of Santana these days ever since James came onto the scene. It's not that she wants Santana's attention all the time, it's just she misses her friend. Christmas is less than a week away and she wanted to catch up with Santana before the end of the week when they'll be spending most of Christmas with their families.
After sitting bored for a few minutes just staring at the ceiling, hoping the phone will ring, Brittany decides to get changed and do some baking. It's the only thing she likes to do that'll keep her occupied. She's just mixing up some cake batter when she hears someone walk through the front door.
"Brittany, are you home?" she hears the person say from the hall.
"I'm here" Brittany says walking out of the kitchen. "Oh hey" she smiles as soon as she realises its Santana.
"I didn't see your parents' cars but I saw yours so I wasn't sure if you were here or with them" Santana says.
"Well I am here so come through" Brittany smiles before leading Santana to the kitchen.
"I got your voicemail but instead of calling I thought I'd just come and see you" Santana smiles.
"That's cool. I was just baking but I can stop now if you want to hang out" Brittany says.
"No keep baking, I'll just sit and watch you and then test the finished product. You know, make sure it's of quality and ok to sell to customers" Santana smirks.
"Why am I not surprised by that" Brittany laughs.
"Because you know me" Santana smiles.
"So how have you been, we haven't talked much recently?" Brittany asks as she goes back to baking.
"I'm good, I've just been really busy at work that's how I haven't hung out with you much" Santana replies. "That all changes now though" she smiles.
"Good, I'm glad to hear it" Brittany smiles back.
"I have your Christmas gift by the way but it's in the car. I didn't want to bring it in earlier in case you weren't here because I wanted to give you it personally" Santana says.
"That's cool" Brittany smiles. "So are you all set for Christmas then?"
"I am actually. I just need to deliver a few more presents and collect some stuff for the dinner nearer the end of the week but other than that I'm sorted" Santana replies.
"I'm the same. I'm getting that way though where I've been organising Christmas for so long that it's beginning to lose its effect. It's not as exciting anymore because I'm just waiting on Sunday coming you know" Brittany shrugs.
"Yeah I hear you" Santana agrees. "Hey do you and your family want to come to our Christmas party on the 23rd? My parents hold a party every year a couple of days before Christmas and all the family and friends come. It's just a way to celebrate Christmas together since Christmas day is usually a family day."
"Yeah we'd love to come" Brittany smiles.
"Good, I'll let my parents know you're all coming" Santana smiles back.
"There's a batch of cakes ready now if you want one?" Brittany says while putting the cakes on a plate. "They're still a little warm though so I haven't iced them yet."
"That's ok I like them warm anyway plus I can put my own icing on them" Santana says while walking over to the cakes eagerly.
"Look at you, you can't wait to eat one" Brittany teases.
"One? Try again honey" Santana smirks while picking up three cakes.
"Are you going to eat them all now?" Brittany asks surprised.
"You bet I am, I haven't eaten dinner yet so I'm starving" Santana states.
"Why didn't you say, I could have made you a proper meal" Brittany replies.
XXX
"Is it too weird if I asked for dating advice?" Santana asks hesitantly.
"Um…no" Brittany says unsurely. She doesn't want to be rude and not help Santana but it is getting a little awkward now whenever she thinks about James and Santana.
"Do you think it's wrong if the person you're dating gets jealous of your friend?" Santana asks.
"It depends what you mean" Brittany replies. "Like if they just miss you and want to spend more time with you then I guess not but if they just don't like the friend and see you enough then yeah I think it's wrong."
"Ok" Santana nods.
"James doesn't like me does he?" Brittany asks.
"Why would you think that?" Santana asks. She doesn't want to say yes and hurt her feelings but it is true, James does seem to have a problem with Brittany.
"It's obvious. I mean he already knows Quinn and Artie so it's not them plus you've never actually introduced me to him" Brittany replies.
"You're so important to me Brittany but James seemed perfect to begin with and now I'm confused. Everything was fine until he got some weird idea that you liked me and then he started getting weird every time I mentioned you" Santana says.
"We're friends so of course I like you" Brittany frowns.
"No he thinks you have feelings for me but I know that's rubbish because we're just good friends" Santana says. "I should break up with him shouldn't I?"
"No way, you're not ending things with him because of me. I want you to be happy Santana so if it means walking away then I'll do it" Brittany states. She hates the thought of doing that but she isn't going to make Santana choose, it's not fair.
"You would really end our friendship?" Santana asks, a mix between hurt and surprise.
"If it meant you could be with the perfect one then yes" Brittany nods. "I'd do anything for you Santana because you mean a lot to me."
"Oh" Santana nods starting to get teary.
"Why are you crying?" Brittany asks while rushing over to Santana.
"Because I don't ever want to lose you and you just said you'd be able to walk away from me. I just never realised how differently we valued our friendship" Santana replies.
"No Santana, I didn't mean it would be easy. I meant I would do it to make you happy, I didn't say I would like it" Brittany assures her.
"I don't want you to say that Brittany. I want you to be here for me no matter what" Santana states.
"But I thought I was the issue between you and James" Brittany frowns in confusion.
"You're not an issue, you're my best friend" Santana says while wiping her tears away. "I don't want to be with James if he doesn't respect you."
"I can't let you end a good relationship because of me though" Brittany replies.
"It's not a good relationship if he can't accept we're friends" Santana says. "You'll always be in my life so I need you to tell me that I'm doing the right thing by ending things."
"I can't let you end a relationship because of me though. You're going to be left with an idiot of a friend and no boyfriend whereas if he doesn't like me then I'll keep out of things so you can at least have what you have always wanted" Brittany says.
"But I don't want anything if you're not in my life Brittany" Santana says.
"Look I need to tell you something Santana" Brittany sighs after a moment. "But first I need you to know that you're better off with James in your life than me. He can be what you always wanted whereas if you break up with him for me then you'll resent me."
"I'll never resent you, never" Santana shakes her head.
"You might after what I tell you" Brittany states.
"Um…I don't think I could but I'm listening" Santana says.
"Look even if you ended things with James then the same thing is going to happen with the next guy and do you know why?" Brittany asks.
"No" Santana shakes her head.
"Because I'm an idiot and I'm always going to ruin things for you" Brittany sighs.
"What on earth are you talking about?" Santana says confused.
"I really like you Santana" Brittany states. "No matter who you are with, they'll always be able to see that and they'll hate me for it so I can't let you pick a guy over me because if you do then you'll never find the perfect one."
"That's bullshit" Santana states. "If they don't like you then I don't like them."
"Santana we're closer than any normal friends. What kind of guy would want his girlfriend hanging around someone who is closer to their girlfriend than they are?" Brittany asks.
"A good guy would want the best for his girlfriend" Santana states.
"Santana can't you see, our friendship isn't normal" Brittany says getting frustrated. "I'm trying to talk around the situation but you're not getting it."
"You really have lost me Britt" Santana shakes her head.
"He's not the one for you Santana, I am" Brittany sighs.
"I beg your pardon?" Santana asks.
"None of these guys are going to be the one for you if we continue our friendship like this" Brittany states.
"You sound like my grandma right now" Santana says shaking her head.
"What are you talking about?" Brittany asks.
"She thought we were a couple and when I assured her we weren't, she said she thought we should be together then" Santana replies.
"Look I'm not trying to push you into anything or feel something you don't want to but if it's not just me that can see this then don't you think we do need to re-evaluate things?" Brittany says.
"Brittany I admit we are really close but I don't see how we come across as anything more than friends. I mean I really like you but I see you as my friend and that's it" Santana replies.
"Tell me you didn't like that night we had together" Brittany states.
"I did like it, it was fun" Santana smiles.
"Just fun, that's it" Brittany questions and Santana nods. "You told me that's the best you've ever felt when you slept with someone so are you honestly sure it was only fun?"
"Yeah" Santana nods again. "Don't get me wrong, I loved it but it didn't make me question how I felt about you."
"I don't want to put words in your mouth or force you to like me, I just really need to be sure that all you think of me is as your friend" Brittany says.
"Yeah I just see you as my friend. Like I said before, I am open to dating girls but I don't feel anything different towards you. I mean sure I see you as a closer friend than any of my other friends but I've never thought of you in like a romantic way" Santana replies.
"Well I can't help that I have and I understand if it makes you uncomfortable" Brittany says sadly. "I don't want you to think of me as the friend that ruins your relationships because I can't help how I feel about you so if James is the one then go for it."
"I'm not uncomfortable Brittany" Santana assures her. "Are you sure we can't still be friends?"
"I want to be but I don't know if I will get over you if we are friends right now. Do you know what I mean?" Brittany says.
"Yeah I understand" Santana nods. "I didn't lead you on or anything did I because if I did then I never meant that to happen. We just really connect with one another."
"No don't worry. This was all me and had I been honest before then I might not be in this pickle now. I always knew I could never have you but it just felt like recently we were closer than ever so something inside gave me hope but I totally get it" Brittany sighs.
"I probably should go shouldn't I?" Santana asks. She doesn't want to make this situation any worse.
"Yeah, maybe you should" Brittany smiles sadly.
"You really like my granddaughter don't you?" Alma asks.
"Of course, she's like one of my best friends" Brittany smiles.
"I don't mean as a friend Brittany" Alma smiles.
"What do you mean then?" Brittany asks playing dumb.
"I think you know what I mean" Alma states.
"Ok I do know what you mean but it doesn't matter because Santana doesn't see me like that. We've had this discussion already and we've agreed to give one another space and then we'll be friends again" Brittany replies.
"I've actually spoke to Santana as well about…"
"Brittany?" Santana says surprised as she walks into the room.
"Oh, hi" Brittany says nervously. "I thought you were working today?"
"I was but I was only doing a half day. What are you doing here?" Santana says.
"Ever since you introduced me to your gran then I've been swinging by occasionally because she likes my cupcakes and I like her company" Brittany replies.
"Oh" Santana nods.
"I can go if you want because I don't want to make this awkward" Brittany says.
"Believe it or not but I don't actually want you to go" Santana says, "I really miss you."
"I really miss you to but it's going to make me feel worse seeing you because I know you'll never like me the same way" Brittany says.
"Santana is your perfect one isn't she?" Alma smiles at Brittany.
"Uh…"
"Grandma don't make her uncomfortable please" Santana rolls her eyes.
"We have established that she likes you but I just want to know if you would be her perfect one" Alma shrugs.
"Well she would be the perfect one but she doesn't want me" Brittany sighs.
"I'm sorry but it's true. I can't be the person you want me to be Brittany" Santana sighs. "I'm not saying James is the perfect one though, I'm just saying I haven't looked at you the same way as you look at me."
"I totally get that and I'm ok with that. It doesn't make it hurt less though so I just need to process things a little but you're never going to lose me Santana as long as you want me in your life" Brittany says.
"I will always want you in my life" Santana smiles.
"Santana has probably mentioned it already but my son and daughter in law are hosting a Christmas party tomorrow and we'd like to invite you and all you family Brittany" Alma says. "I know things are slightly awkward for you both at the moment but its Christmas and it would be nice if you were there."
"We will be" Brittany smiles. It might be awkward but she has really formed a bond with Alma so she wants to go for her sake.