Chapter 9: We should talk
"It's simple Britt, I love you because I love you" Santana states.
"Ok" Brittany sighs.
"Why won't you believe me?" Santana asks hurt.
"It's not that I completely don't believe you, I just want to do things right now" Brittany admits. "In the past we had fun and it didn't mean anything but this is serious now. We're not just friends messing around."
"I know and that's why I know I love you" Santana says. "Look I know we're in the middle of this right now but I really want to see my grandma."
"Of course, yeah" Brittany nods. "Hey do I have 5 minutes to run home and change first. I can just drive us to mine and I'll get changed and you can get your car back."
"Yeah that's cool" Santana replies.
Once they grab their stuff, they head out the door and head to Brittany's house. Brittany quickly goes inside to change and tell her parents what's going on while Santana gets her car turned around so they can go straight to the hospital. As soon as Brittany is ready, she jumps into Santana's car and they leave. The car journey to the hospital begins in silence so Brittany decides to try and talk to Santana about earlier.
"Santana I need to explain about earlier, I didn't mean to…"
"Not now" Santana shakes her head.
"But I…"
"No I can't think of us fighting right now when I'm about to see my grandma. I need to focus on her and keeping myself upbeat for her sake so she doesn't worry so I can't have us in the middle of a fight when I see her" Santana says.
"Ok fair enough but please know, I never meant how things came out. I never want to hurt you Santana, you have to know that" Brittany says.
"Brittany, please" Santana says almost begging.
"Sorry" Brittany nods. The remainder of the journey is spent in silence.
"That's us here" Santana sighs as she puts the car into park.
"Let's go" Brittany says squeezing Santana's hand reassuringly before getting out of the car. Santana then gets out and goes over to Brittany.
"She'll be ok, right?" Santana says as they walk into the hospital.
"Of course she will" Brittany replies squeezing Santana's hand. "She's like you, she's super strong and can overcome anything" she smiles.
"I don't know about me being strong" Santana sighs.
As soon as they get inside they head straight to Alma's room. Santana goes over and hugs her grandma while Brittany takes a seat at the side of the bed.
"Why are you crying Santana?" Alma asks.
"I'm not crying, these are just a few tears of relief. I was really worried about you" Santana says while wiping the tears away.
"I'm fine, nothing a good cigarette won't fix" Alma smiles.
"That's not even funny grandma. You won't be getting any more cigarettes ever again, I mean it" Santana scolds.
"I'm not a child Santana" Alma glares.
"No and neither am I" Santana snaps. "Seriously…" she sighs, "you can't keep smoking because it's literally killing you."
"Cigarettes are not the only way to get a blood clot Santana" Alma points out.
"I know that but in your case it's been the major contributing factor" Santana replies.
"Look can we stop talking about me just now, let's talk about you two" Alma smirks.
"What about us grandma?" Santana sighs.
"I saw the way you two were looking at each other last night" Alma smirks again. "There's something going on with you two isn't there?"
"It's early days grandma" Santana states.
"But you're together right?" Alma smiles. "Please tell me you finally came to your senses Santana Lopez" she says raising an eyebrow, her face quickly becoming serious.
"Yes we're together Alma" Brittany smiles.
"Excellent" Alma says clapping her hands. "I knew you two were perfect for one another."
XXX
After spending most of the morning at the hospital, Brittany and Santana left to give Santana's parents some time with Alma and so they could get some lunch. They're sitting in Santana's car outside of Brittany's house.
"Do you want to come in?" Brittany asks.
"I don't know, I'm not really in the mood for people" Santana admits. "No offence to your family or anything but I'm just so relieved my grandma is ok that I just want to rest now."
"Oh no one's at home right now, they're visiting some relatives since it was Christmas yesterday" Brittany replies.
"Ok, I guess I could come in then" Santana smiles.
"Cool, I'll make us some lunch too" Brittany replies and then they head inside.
Lunch was relatively quiet although there was a slight awkward atmosphere between them as they didn't really know what to say right now. It was only the two of them so it made sense that they should talk but neither seemed to be starting a conversation. Santana was mostly embarrassed now because she said those words to Brittany and she didn't reply. Brittany on the other hand regretted what she said because she didn't mean to be as outright as she was.
As soon as they finished lunch, they cleared up and went to the living room to sit for a while. Apart from muttering a few things to one another about what to watch on TV, they didn't really say anything else for about twenty minutes.
"Santana we need to talk" Brittany sighs while putting the TV to mute.
"Oh god" Santana states worriedly.
"We can't keep sitting in silence with this awkward air around us. We need to discuss what happened earlier" Brittany says.
"Yeah, I suppose" Santana says quietly while nodding.
"So…uh, where to start" Brittany says hesitantly. She doesn't want to make a mistake like earlier, she wants to handle things properly now so she has to choose the right words so she doesn't upset Santana.
"I've been too clingy recently, haven't I?" Santana says embarrassed.
"No I wouldn't say that" Brittany frowns. "You've just been upset so you've needed me."
"I get overwhelming sometimes but I don't mean it. I'm just like that and that's probably one of the reasons I'm never in a serious relationship because they all run for the hills when I get too much" Santana says.
"You're not like that, well at least I don't think you are" Brittany smiles.
"I just really like you Brittany but I just couldn't help worrying either last night because she's my grandma and she means a lot to me" Santana says.
"Santana, it's ok" Brittany says.
"Can you please hurry up and break up with me. The suspense is killing me" Santana sighs.
"Wait, what?" Brittany asks confused.
"Please don't draw this out any longer" Santana states.
"Santana I don't want to break up with you" Brittany replies. "Do you want us to break up?"
"No" Santana shakes her head.
"So why did you think I wanted that?" Brittany asks.
"Because I told you I love you and you don't believe me and because you said we need to talk as in we need to break up" Santana replies.
"No I just wanted to talk Santana, I didn't want us to break up" Brittany says. "I wanted to explain about earlier, I don't want to lose you."
"Oh" Santana says slightly surprised but relieved all the same.
"Look I handled things all wrong, I never meant to sound so harsh earlier" Brittany says genuinely. "I just didn't want you to be confused and any of us to get hurt."
"I'm not confused about this, that's what bothers me" Santana sighs.
"I'm just surprised that you said it because we really haven't been a couple yet. We've been super close friends and I've had this massive crush on you but I didn't expect you to be at that stage yet" Brittany says.
"What is so wrong with me loving you though?" Santana asks getting frustrated.
"Nothing, absolutely nothing" Brittany states.
"Then stop being an ass about it then" Santana states.
"The only reason I had a little doubt is because I know what it's like for things to mess with your head. Look I need to tell you something" Brittany says.
"Ok, I'm listening" Santana nods.
"I had to literally watch my gran die ok and that totally messed with my head. I was so vulnerable at the time and my ex took advantage of that and that's why I don't ever want to do that to you. I knew you were upset and really worried about your gran so I assumed your judgement was clouded like mines was" Brittany says. "Look I'm sorry for getting the wrong end of the stick and assuming you might handle things the way I did."
"Yes I'm worried about my gran but I still know what I'm doing now. I just needed to rest and calm down last night which I did now" Santana says.
"Ok" Brittany nods.
"Tell me more about this ex" Santana says.
"Well my gran had cancer and she was sick for a long time but she did get better but a few years later the cancer returned even worse. She only had about a year left to live and I had to watch her every day deteriorate right in front of me. It was the worst time of my life and to top it all off, I was with a manipulating bitch at the time" Brittany says. "I was so vulnerable and emotional at that time that she basically made me believe she'd be there for me and she loved me while in reality she was hooking up with her ex on the side and it was even worse because the ex was a guy. How the hell could I compete with a guy never mind try and have a normal relationship when my gran is dying right in front of me."
"Oh Brittany" Santana says putting her arm around her.
"I wasn't thinking straight, I couldn't see what she was doing to me. I believed she actually loved me and was there for me but she wasn't. She was only with me when her boyfriend screwed up or when she needed money. I mean I've never had a lot of money but when your girlfriend says she loves you and she's just lost her job then you're going to try and help her aren't you?" Brittany says.
"Yeah I can understand that" Santana nods.
"Do you know what I did after I found out about the ex?" Brittany asks looking at Santana.
"I would hope you kicked her ass to the curb" Santana states.
"No, I didn't. I took her back" Brittany replies. "I was that emotionally vulnerable and I needed somebody, anybody really and she was the only one there so I forgave her. My head was that messed up that I'd rather be with a cheating liar like her than be alone."
"Oh" Santana says surprised.
"I knew how messed up I got seeing someone I cared about lying in hospital sick so I was worried maybe you weren't thinking straight either. I just didn't want you to regret saying that to me because it is a big deal. It's not that I don't think you love me, I just wasn't sure if you were actually in love with me just yet" Brittany says.
"Honestly Britt, I've never been more sure that I love you and I'm in love with you" Santana smiles.
"Ok" Brittany smiles. "I don't know how to apologise to you though, I shouldn't have doubted you and I am so sorry."
"I think the best thing to do now is just move past this" Santana says. "Let's just forget about this right now and look forward."
"I can do that" Brittany smiles.
"Good" Santana smiles back before leaning in to kiss Brittany.
"Can I just ask though, were you really ready to have sex with me last night too?" Brittany asks.
"I mean I was but it probably wasn't right to either. I don't blame you for saying no last night because it would've been to distract me whereas that's not how I want things to go from here. You're the only girl I've ever been with and the last time we did it was just drunken fun so it's probably not ideal that we started like that either" Santana admits. "I want to do things properly with you and I want us to have a proper relationship."
"Me too so what do you say we go on a date sometime. I mean things are looking more promising with your gran and you do seem more upbeat now" Brittany says.
"I'd like that but when?" Santana asks.
"Is Claire going to be here tomorrow night?" Brittany asks.
"No she's actually going on vacation with her boyfriend tomorrow for a week. Lucky bitch doesn't need to work during the festive period" Santana laughs.
"Ok well let me come over tomorrow night and I'll cook for you" Brittany says.
"Sounds good" Santana smiles.
"I'm working tomorrow so does 7 sound ok?" Brittany asks.
"7 sounds perfect" Santana replies.
"So are we good now, are you and I ok?" Brittany asks.
"Yeah, we're good" Santana smiles.
"Good" Brittany smiles back. "Even if we weren't though, you'd be stuck with me anyway. I'm not going anywhere, I'm really sorry."
"That's absolutely ok with me" Santana smiles back.
"Good because now I can do this" Brittany says before leaning over and capturing Santana's lips in a passionate kiss.
XXX
After hanging out for a while, Brittany and Santana decided to get some air and just take a walk. They're just slowly walking through the park together hand in hand.
"This is nice, isn't it?" Brittany smiles at Santana.
"Yeah it is" Santana smiles back. "I could just spend the whole day with you and never get bored."
"Yeah me too" Brittany agrees.
"So what are your plans for tonight?" Santana asks.
"Actually that's what I wanted to talk to you about" Brittany says stopping and pulling Santana to face her. "I know we're having a date tomorrow night but I have an idea about how we can spend tonight."
"Ok so what about it?" Santana asks curiously.
"How about I come back to the hospital with you and your family. Your gran never got to have a Christmas dinner so let's all go there and have dinner with her. I could make lots of stuff and we'll just wrap it up and hopefully it stays warm" Brittany suggests.
"That sounds like a lot of work for you, would you want to do that?" Santana asks.
"I'd do anything for you or your family" Brittany smiles.
"Ok well I'll let my parents know" Santana smiles.
"How about we just cut this walk short and go back to my house and start making dinner preparations and you can call your parents" Brittany suggests.
"Ok, sounds like a plan" Santana nods.
They make their way back to the Pierce house and Brittany gets started on cooking while Santana informs her parents. Once Santana is finished on the phone, she goes to the kitchen and helps Brittany cook the food.
"What shall I do first?" Santana asks.
"You could begin chopping some fresh vegetables for me please" Brittany replies.
"Oh come on, is there nothing more exciting to do" Santana groans. "I hate cooking at the best of times so can't you give me something interesting to do otherwise I'll be bored."
"Maybe I don't trust you with doing anything else though" Brittany teases.
"You better trust me Pierce otherwise tomorrow is cancelled" Santana states.
"Ok fine, I do trust you" Brittany replies smiling.
"Good, so what can I do?" Santana asks.
"Come and help me with what I'm doing then" Brittany says and Santana nods before going over to help her.
After all the food was made, they packaged it up and then Santana drove them to the hospital. Her parents and brother were all meeting them there. Brittany and Santana ended up getting there first so they just went straight to Alma's room to see her.
"Oh two visits in one day, aren't I lucky" Alma teases.
"You are lucky, very lucky actually" Santana states. "You could be a lot more ill right now but you're not."
"I meant with the visits Santana" Alma rolls her eyes. "Let's not get into my situation right now because we're both going to disagree."
"Grandma I don't know why…"
"Honey let's just forget about that right now" Brittany says interrupting Santana. "Let's just enjoy the food, ok?"
"Ok" Santana nods.
"What food" Alma asks slightly confused.
"Well Brittany thought since Christmas dinner was slightly ruined last night then we could all have dinner here with you and eat some nice Christmas food" Santana smiles.
"Oh that's nice" Alma smiles at Brittany.
"My mom and dad will be here soon and so will Marc I think" Santana says.
"Ok" Alma nods.
"Can I get you anything in the meantime though gran?" Santana asks.
"No thank you, I'm fine" Alma replies.
As soon as Santana's parents, brother and Joanne arrive, they get tucked into the food.
"This food all looks really good, you didn't need to make all this Brittany" Maria says.
"I wanted to plus I didn't make it all myself" she says smiling over at Santana. "I had my little happy helper here, didn't I Santana?" she teases.
"Ok I wasn't always happy in the beginning because cooking frustrates me but I am glad everyone is enjoying it just now" Santana states.
"So just a quick heads up, what did Santana make so I know to stay away from it to prevent food poisoning?" Marc teases.
"Very funny Marc" Santana says rolling her eyes. "I pretty much helped make everything actually so if you don't want anything made by me then you'll need to go without" she shrugs.
"I guess the food might be ok" Marc states while beginning to eat.
"So we didn't really get a chance to ask last night about what's going on with you two. Things seemed strained at the Christmas party but the next thing we know, the two families are all celebrating Christmas together" Maria says.
"Um…well we're dating now" Santana admits nervously before looking over at Brittany who smiles at her.
"And it's all thanks to me" Alma says smugly.
"Mom…what did you do?" Mario asks in concern.
"I just knocked some sense into your daughter, that's all" Alma shrugs.
"Mom please don't tell me you forced Santana into something because you know she doesn't like that" Mario sighs.
"Dad its ok, she didn't force me into it" I say honestly. "Grandma just saw what was going on before I did and she pointed it out to me."
"Except it wasn't actually grandma that got through to you in the end" Marc smiles.
"Ok yes you helped too Marc but I realised myself that I wanted to be with Brittany, you two just gave me a slight shove in the right direction" Santana says.
"What matters now though is that we're together and we're not thinking about the past anymore" Brittany smiles.
"Well we're happy for you both" Maria smiles.
"Thank you mom" Santana says giving her a quick hug.
After eating, they all stayed for a while and talked to Alma before the doctor came to do a quick check-up. He suggested they let Alma rest now because it had been a busy day so Brittany, Santana, Marc and Joanne all left. Mario and Maria stayed a little bit longer to make sure the check-up went ok.
Once Santana pulls up in front of Brittany's house, they sit in the car and talk for a few minutes.
"Tonight was good and I think my grandma really enjoyed the dinner and the fact we were all there tonight. It took her mind off of what was going on" Santana says.
"Yeah and she seemed really happy" Brittany points out.
"She did so let's hope this is a motivation for her to want to give up the smoking and get better" Santana says.
"Yeah I hope so" Brittany smiles.
"Anyway I'm guessing you need to go now" Santana says.
"Yeah I have work tomorrow so I should get inside" Brittany smiles over at Santana. "I'll see you at your place tomorrow night though for when I cook for you for our little date."
"Yeah, see you tomorrow" Santana smiles back before leaning in to kiss Brittany.
"Goodnight" Brittany smiles.
"Night Britt" Santana replies and then Brittany gets out of the car.