Chapter 10: I'm going to miss you
Brittany and Santana are out to dinner together. The Christmas period is over and everyone is back hard at work. This is the first time in a number of days that they've managed to hang out and actually see each other properly.
"I'm sorry I've been so busy recently that we haven't been able to hang out much but with Christmas over and everything then I'm not exactly flush with cash" Brittany admits embarrassingly.
"Britt I don't need us to spend huge amounts of cash to have fun. I would have been more than happy to stay home and watch a movie" Santana smiles.
"I know but I don't want you to get bored of me if we need to stay in all the time. I want to treat you once in a while" Brittany states.
"I will never get bored of you and as soon as you win that baking competition then you'll have all the money in the world to treat me" she smiles.
"I suppose" Brittany chuckles.
"So have you decided on what to order?" Santana asks while placing her menu down on the table.
"I think so, yeah" Brittany smiles.
"Ok good" Santana nods and then gets the waiter's attention to tell him they're ready to order. As soon as they order, they go back to catching up.
"So how are things at work? You haven't come into the diner for your morning coffee in a while" Brittany asks.
"Things as ok as can be expected. I still hate the job but its money" Santana shrugs. "The reason I haven't been in for coffee lately is because we're short staffed at the moment so I've been doing quite a bit of overtime so I haven't had time to get coffee before I start" she admits.
"If they're taking you for granted and making you work these extra shifts then just tell them you don't want to. It's not in your contract to do those hours" Brittany states.
"No it's ok, I offered to do them" Santana smiles at Brittany being protective over her. "I figured the extra money was good at the moment. I might be a little tired but hopefully it helps in the long run."
"Ok well if you ever don't want to do something then just tell them. They can't fire you for something that isn't in your contract" Brittany tells Santana.
"Thank you for caring but I'm a big girl" Santana smiles.
"I know but I still worry about you" Brittany smiles back. "Anyway, let's move on" she says and Santana nods.
"So have you started packing your things for going to LA yet?" Santana asks curiously.
"I haven't actually, I am so disorganised about it its ridiculous" Brittany replies shaking her head. "I don't suppose you're free at the weekend to help a girl out?" she asks smiling brightly at Santana.
"Seriously all you have to do is smile at me and I'll never say no" Santana laughs.
"Is that a yes then?" Brittany wonders.
"Yes I will help you pack" Santana smiles. "I'm assuming that means you aren't working the weekend?" she asks.
"Sorry, I should have told you my shifts for the week" Brittany replies. "Yeah so I'm off Saturday and Sunday this week and then it's off to LA on Monday" she smiles.
"Well before you go, I want to spend as much time with you as I can" Santana states.
"That's cool because I want to spend every free moment with you" Brittany smiles just as the food comes to the table. "Thank you" she says politely to the waiter.
"Yes thank you" Santana tells the waiter.
"Can I get you anything else?" the waiter asks.
"I'm fine, Santana?" Brittany replies.
"No this is fine thank you" Santana smiles.
"Ok well enjoy your meal ladies" the waiter replies before leaving. Brittany and Santana then start eating.
"Yeah so as I was saying, I'm free the weekend so we can definitely hang out then" Brittany tells Santana. "I'm on mostly dayshifts this week so I'll be finished for 5pm so I can either come over to your place or you can come to mine and we can cook" she smiles.
"Sounds good" Santana smiles back. "I probably won't do as much overtime in the next few days so I should be finished my work at the usual time" she says. Now that it's getting closer to Brittany leaving then she wants to spend the free time with her.
As soon as they're finished eating, they get the check. Brittany was going to treat Santana but Santana insisted they half it just now and when they've got a bit more money they can start treating each other. They're now walking out to Brittany's car since she picked Santana up for the date.
"So I would invite you back to my place but my parents are home so we won't have much privacy" Brittany tells Santana.
"Well I mean I don't know what Claire is doing tonight but at least it will be less crowded at my place if you want to stay over" Santana suggests.
"Sounds good" Brittany smiles. "Let me just quickly swing by my place to get a few things and then we can go back to yours" she says.
"If you're talking about clothes then you've got the odd thing left at my place so you can either wear those or I'll give you something to wear" Santana says. She doesn't see the point in wasting time or gas if they don't have to.
"Ok, cool" Brittany nods. They then make their way back to Santana's apartment. When they get inside, Claire is nowhere to be found so they change into something more comfortable and relax on the couch together. "Wait a minute, I do need to go back to my place" she says just realising something.
"Why what's wrong?" Santana asks confused.
"Well I'm working the early shift tomorrow at work so I need to get my uniform" Brittany replies. "I start at 6am so I don't really want to be leaving here any earlier in the morning to go back home" she states.
"Oh yeah, I didn't even think about that" Santana sighs.
"I'm going to quickly drive home but I'll be back in 10 minutes" Brittany says while putting her sneakers on.
"Wait I'll come with you" Santana says while leaping off the couch.
"No why don't you stay here and pick a movie and get some popcorn sorted and I'll just quickly go by myself" Brittany suggests.
"Are you sure?" Santana asks.
"Of course, I'll be back in 10 or so minutes" Brittany says while kissing Santana's cheek.
"Ok" Santana smiles and then Brittany leaves. She gets some popcorn out and then scrolls through the channels looking for a movie they can watch together. She then decides to grab a few pillows and a blanket from the bed so they can be more comfortable. 15 minutes later, Brittany is downstairs buzzing to get inside.
"It's me babe" Brittany tells Santana when she answers the intercom.
"Ok come on up" Santana smiles to herself, happy that Brittany is finally back. Once she presses the button Brittany gets inside and makes her way upstairs to the apartment.
"Did you miss me?" Brittany teases as she walks in the door.
"Of course" Santana says seriously.
"I was just joking because I was barely away 15 minutes but that's cute" Brittany smiles before kissing Santana.
"Does that mean you didn't miss me?" Santana asks.
"No I did" Brittany assures her.
"Good, now come on" Santana smiles while taking Brittany's hand and leading her over to the couch to sit down.
It's 5am and Brittany and Santana are lying in bed talking with their arms around one another. Brittany really needs to get up soon and get ready for her shift starting at 6am but Santana didn't want her to leave right now. She really liked having Brittany stay over last night and her being here when she woke up this morning.
"Just when I'm getting used to waking up to you in the mornings, I'm going to lose you" Santana sighs.
"You're not losing me babe, I'm just going away for a while but I'll be back before you know it" Brittany assures her.
"I really want the time to fly in so I can have you back but at the same time I know it will feel like ages. Work feels like an eternity sometimes but I get through it because I know I'll see you at the end of the night but I won't have that anymore" Santana says downheartedly.
"I know but just think about the bigger picture babe" Brittany says while giving her a reassuring squeeze. "If I win this then not only do I win the cash but I also become a better baker so that means I can finally open my own place and you and I won't have these money worries" she tells her.
"Ok" Santana sighs. It really does suck but she gets it so she knows this is for the best for Brittany.
"I need to get up now but why don't you get another hour of sleep or something because there's no need for you to be awake this early" Brittany says while kissing Santana on the head before getting out of bed.
"Ok" Santana nods while pulling the duvet up so she's a bit warmer now that Brittany has left the bed.
"I'll come back in and tell you when I'm about to leave" Brittany says before heading to the bathroom to get freshened up and changed. Once she is changed, she's got some time to spare so she decides to make herself some coffee to waken up a bit more.
"Brittany?" Santana asks while walking towards the kitchen. She was unsure if it was Brittany or if Claire actually stayed here last night. Since Brittany was wakening up early then they went to bed early last night so there was every possibility that Claire came back later in the night.
"I'm sorry, was I making too much noise" Brittany says apologetically. "I just needed some coffee to waken me up a bit" she states.
"No I just wasn't sure if it was you or if Claire made it home last night" Santana replies while going over to Brittany.
"Well sorry to disappoint but it's just me" Brittany smiles.
"Can't you just phone in sick today and we just go back to bed" Santana says while putting her arms around Brittany from behind.
"I really would love to but my shift starts really soon so that wouldn't be fair on my manager. It's way too short notice" Brittany says regrettably.
"You're too kind to other people" Santana says while tightening her hold on Brittany. "At the same time though, that's one of the many things I love about you" she smiles.
"What's your plans for tonight?" Brittany asks.
"I don't really have any except I might visit my grandma soon" Santana replies.
"Ok well call me when you're done and you can come over to my place and I'll cook dinner" Brittany says. Even though her family might be at home, it would be easier for her to cook if Santana were to come there rather than go to Santana's place.
"Ok, I will" Santana says, starting to get excited about seeing Brittany again.
"Now as much as I really love you and love having you tightly wrapped around me, I really need to leave for work now" Brittany states. "I'll text you on my break but if you're busy you don't need to text back. Just call me when you're finished work or leaving your gran's house" she says.
"Ok, I'll see you later then" Santana says while walking Brittany to the door.
"I love you" Brittany smiles before leaning in to kiss Santana.
"I love you too" Santana smiles back while handing Brittany her purse and keys. Brittany then heads off to work while Santana decides to just stay up and not bother going back to bed. She gets showered and changed before getting breakfast and then heading to work. She's a little early arriving but she doesn't care, she's just going to make a start on work and hopefully it can count as a little overtime for her.
XXX
After a long day at work for both of them and doing other things, Brittany and Santana are finally sitting down to dinner together. Brittany's family are home but they ate earlier in the evening so it's just the two of them which they are grateful about. It's starting to concern Brittany though how quiet Santana seems to be and how she has barely touched her food.
"Don't you like the food?" Brittany asks Santana.
"No I do, it's lovely" Santana smiles slightly.
"If you don't like it then I'd like you to tell me because I don't want to make a fool of myself at this competition when my food sucks. I need you to test out these recipes for me" Brittany smiles.
"Honestly the food is delicious" Santana assures Brittany.
"So what's wrong then babe, you look worried" Brittany says in concern.
"It's nothing" Santana sighs.
"It must be something if you're looking so worried" Brittany points out.
"Well it turns out that Claire is going to move in with her boyfriend as soon as our next rent payment is made" Santana replies.
"So you'll get the place to yourself?" Brittany asks and Santana nods. "Well that's good babe because you'll be able to do what you want with it now" she smiles.
"It's not good though" Santana shakes her head while sighing. "I can't afford all that rent on my own so I'm going to either need to move back with my parents or find a new roommate."
"Oh" Brittany nods. She wishes she could help but she doesn't have the money either.
"In this day and age I just don't know who I could trust so I'd need to find a roommate properly and really think it through but I don't think I have time to wait" she sighs again.
"Do you know what, I just won't go to this competition thing and I'll stay with you and help with the rent until we find you a roommate" Brittany states. She thinks it's way too soon to probably live together but she'd do anything to help Santana so if moving in for a while helps then she'll do it.
"No Brittany you are going to do this competition, it is too much of a good opportunity to miss" Santana shakes her head.
"But what about you?" Brittany asks.
"I guess I could ask my parents for a loan or maybe my brother could help me" Santana shrugs.
"Ok well please make sure you get help because I don't want you struggling on your own, especially when I'm leaving in less than a week" Brittany says. She was nervous enough about going in the first place but now it's going to be worse if she thinks Santana is struggling.
"I think I will just pluck up the courage and ask my parents" Santana sighs. It is embarrassing but at the same time she knows she shouldn't be embarrassed because her parents have always been there for her whenever she's needed it.
"Honestly you shouldn't be embarrassed about needing help" Brittany tells her. "I mean I still live with my parents and so do a few of my friends so needing help from family really isn't a big deal" she assures her.
"I suppose I could ask as in more of a loan and that way I'll pay them back as soon as I can" Santana sighs.
"Exactly because in time we'll find you a better job and then you'll have the money to give back" Brittany smiles.
"Anyway enough about me and my worries, let's just finish this meal together and spend some time with each other" Santana smiles back and Brittany nods.
Tomorrow is the day that Brittany is leaving to go to LA for 2 months to participate in the cooking competition. Santana had thought of tagging along but she didn't want to come on too strong and crowd Brittany when they haven't been together long plus she didn't think she could afford it anyway. She could afford a flight there but 8 weeks off work is not something she can do right now and to be honest her boss probably wouldn't let her go for that long.
"Santana stop it" Brittany laughs as Santana removes each item from the case that Brittany has just folded and put inside.
"I don't want you to go" Santana pouts.
"Would you rather I just stayed here with no money?" Brittany smiles.
"Of course not, I'm just going to miss you" she shrugs.
"I know and I'll miss you so much but its only 8 weeks so if we can handle this then we can handle anything thereafter" Brittany states. "This is only going to make us stronger babe" she adds.
"Yeah, you're right" Santana nods.
"So can you help me pack my suitcases properly now or do I need to punish you for holding me back?" Brittany asks.
"I will help you pack but I may still need to be punished for my bad behaviour" Santana smirks.
"Yeah you have been acting up quite a lot recently so I probably should give you a punishment" Brittany smirks back while placing the item of clothing in the case that she had in her hand before walking around the bed to Santana's side.
"Good idea" Santana smiles when Brittany wraps her arms around her waist.
"You really have been very bad Miss Lopez, very bad" Brittany states while pulling Santana as close to her as she can. "So bad in fact that I need to request that you remove your shirt because you don't deserve to be warm right now."
"Yeah I'm sure it's so I'm not warm" Santana laughs while taking her shirt off.
"I also don't think you deserve to be wearing pants either because they make your butt look too good and we can't have you looking hot right now" Brittany smirks.
"I will remove my pants but I also think you should be punished for leaving me for 8 weeks" Santana smirks while removing her pants.
"Yeah I should catch up shouldn't I?" Brittany smiles while taking her shirt off followed by her pants.
"I'm really going to miss you" Santana says sadly as she wraps her arms around Brittany's neck. The teasing can only last a minute or so because it's always going to be in the back of her mind how she won't see Brittany for 8 weeks and it makes her sad.
"I know" Brittany says placing her hands on Santana's hips while leaning in to kiss her.
"Do we have time?" Santana asks gesturing over to the bed.
"Yeah the packing can wait until later" Brittany smiles. Technically she really should pack because she's got a lot to do but she needs this time with Santana and Santana needs it too.
"Good" Santana smiles while pulling Brittany onto the bed with her. "I love you so much" she says while straddling Brittany's hips and leaning down to kiss her.
XXX
After spending most of the afternoon in bed together, they decide to get up and put their clothes back on. It's not just because Brittany's parents got back home but also because the packing won't do itself and Brittany can't afford to be running late in the morning when she has a flight to catch.
"So you think you'll manage to fly out at least one weekend to see me?" Brittany asks Santana as they start packing again. There is no time in the schedule for Brittany to fly home so it's all down to whether Santana can get time off to visit.
"I'll try my hardest but my boss is being a bitch at the moment. Honestly if I didn't need the money I would quit right now" Santana replies.
"I felt like that a few times myself but I'm just grateful I've got this opportunity now" Brittany smiles. "It's actually weird though because what do I do when I get home from the competition. Do I just go back to working at the diner like nothing happened?" she asks.
"I guess if you don't win then you might have to but whether you win or not, I think this will definitely progress your career because you'll be around professionals" Santana replies.
"It's not like I assumed I would win and get all this money but I will be ok if I don't win right?" Brittany asks. Second place doesn't get you money so she is slightly apprehensive that this could all be for nothing.
"No I definitely think no matter how far you come in the competition, it'll still be a major benefit to you. I mean don't the people who run the competition have restaurants over here?" Santana asks and Brittany nods. "Ok well maybe you could work for them for a little bit if you don't win because I guarantee they'll pay more than the diner" she points out.
"Yeah I suppose if I don't win, it still opens up doors for me in getting another job that might pay better than what I currently get" Brittany states.
"Look no matter what happens your whole family and me are so proud of you" Santana says while walking over to Brittany to hug her.
"Thank you" Brittany says gratefully.
"So what else do we need to pack?" Santana asks while going back over to the case.
"Um…" Brittany pauses for a moment looking at the list Santana made her of all the things she would need to take with her. "I still need to pack underwear and a few other bits and pieces like my phone charger" she replies.
"Ok well you get the stuff out of the drawer and I'll pack it in the case" Santana says. Brittany nods and then walks over to her underwear drawer and gets the items out and hands them to Santana. "Oh no" Santana shakes her head.
"What's wrong?" Brittany frowns in confusion.
"You're not taking these, where are all your big granny panties?" Santana asks.
"I don't really own ones like that, I'm more into the ones with less material if that makes sense" Brittany shrugs.
"These are all sexy panties though" Santana states.
"Ok…thank you" Brittany says not really understanding what's going on here.
"I don't know if I want my girlfriend away for so long wearing all this sexy stuff. I mean I trust you babe but I don't trust other people to not fancy you" Santana replies.
"Honey" Brittany laughs. "No one is going to see my panties, I can guarantee you that much so it shouldn't make a difference what they look like" she says.
"Look it's hard not being self-conscious when you know you're with a beautiful woman who could have anyone. It's especially hard when that person is away from you for 8 weeks" Santana admits. She's a reasonably confident person but she's never felt this in love with someone before so it's a little scary for her.
"You're still going to be away from me too for that time babe so it works both ways. You just need to have trust in us that's all" Brittany smiles while reaching out to take Santana's hand.
"I do trust you and I trust us as a couple, like I say I just don't trust other people" Santana states.
"Just think about it this way, everyone can look at us and admire our amazing looks but the only ones to see under the clothes is you and I" Brittany smiles. "Honestly I don't like it as much as you don't like it but we'll be fine, I just know we will."
"Ok" Santana nods.
"Now if it helps, feel free to put a pair of those panties in your pocket and take them home with you. You know just as a little souvenir and something to remember me by for 8 weeks" Brittany jokes.
"Maybe I will" Santana jokes back. As soon as they finish the packing, they go downstairs and have dinner with Brittany's family. Her parents wanted her to have dinner with them before she goes but they didn't mind Santana joining them as long as they could spend a little time with Brittany.
"So are you staying the night Santana?" Brittany's mom asks.
"If that's ok because I'd like to be here with Brittany as much as I can before she leaves" Santana replies.
"Of course it's ok" Julia smiles. "You're also more than welcome to come to the airport with us when we drop Brittany off."
"Thank you" Santana smiles. She's glad she gets to be with Brittany right up until the minute she leaves for LA.
It's the dreaded moment for Brittany and Santana now as they arrive at the airport with Brittany's parents. Brittany's all checked in so she's now waiting until the boarding call comes on. Santana wanted to be with Brittany right up until the boarding gate was open so she bought the cheapest ticket she could so they'd let her through security. Brittany's parents said goodbye to her earlier once they went as far as they could without a ticket.
"I really don't like this anymore" Santana says beginning to tear up.
"I don't either but it'll be good for both of us because if I win this then I'll be able to help you with your money worries" Brittany smiles while gently wiping the tears from Santana's cheek.
"No if you win this I want you to spend it all on you and building up your own business, I don't want you spending it on me because it wouldn't be productive" Santana states. She loves Brittany for saying she'll help but she won't make Brittany put her dreams on hold. Brittany would need all of this money to start up her own catering company.
"Can't I even just give you a little bit of it?" Brittany suggests.
"No honey I want you to keep it all and do what you've always wanted" Santana smiles.
"Ok" Brittany shrugs. They talk for a while until the announcement comes for everyone to get ready to board their flight. "I love you so much and I'll call you as much as I can ok?" Brittany says hugging Santana.
"I love you too" Santana smiles into the hug. She's going to miss Brittany like crazy but this is an amazing opportunity for her.
"Just promise me you won't get too sad all the time and you'll still try and have fun without me?" Brittany says.
"I'll try but it's going to be really hard" Santana admits.
"I know I've already said it but I love you" Brittany says while pulling Santana close and kissing her. They kiss for a little bit longer than they meant to but it is the last time they'll be able to be this close until Brittany comes back.
"I love you too" Santana says fighting back the tears.
"I need to go now" Brittany says while letting go of Santana and picking up her hand luggage. She then makes her way over to the boarding area.
"Wait" Santana says running over to Brittany and stopping her.
"Babe, I need to go" Brittany says softly. She doesn't want to leave Santana as much as Santana doesn't want her to go but she has to do this.
"Move in with me" Santana states.
"What?" Brittany asks shocked.
"Live with me permanently when you get back" Santana replies. This isn't about the rent or anything like that, she really wants them to do this because she's beginning to feel what it's like without Brittany and it's only been a minute and she doesn't want them to be apart at all after this.
"Um…" Brittany doesn't know what to say.
"Please" Santana says almost begging.
"This is the final boarding call, could all passengers please make their way to the boarding area immediately" the announcement sounds through the gate.
"I have to go" Brittany says before disappearing through the door. Santana just stands there frozen on the spot because this is the moment she has finally been dreading and now she won't see Brittany for 8 weeks.