I own none of the characters of October Road

Janet felt her eyes fill with tears. "Is this a joke? Is this your way of breaking up with me because if it is it is a real shitty way to do it? I don't want to see you anymore or even you repulse me would be easier then this." She snapped. Her words stung and brought tears to his eyes. He reached out for her but she pulled away from him.

"I swear this is not a joke." He whispered thickly.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Janet I…"

"How could you make love to me and not tell me?"

"I wanted you to be able to make love to me at least one time without my death sentence

running through you mind. I wanted to give that memory."

"You sure have a shitty way of ruining that memory. Why is it okay for you to be able to think about dying but not me?"

"Trust me, you were the only thing on my mind." He tried reach for her again but this time she got out of bed and pulled on her robe. "Janet?"

"I'm sorry Eddie but I need to be alone right now. You've given me a lot to think about."

"Do you want me to leave?"

"No. Just give me time to process."

"Whatever you need." She walked over, gently kissed him and then left the room.

Watching Janet walk out of her room he hated himself. He wanted their first time making love to be wonderful and it was. He had never experienced anything so sweet and tender before. He never knew that making love could be so great and he went and blew it by telling her that he was going to die. His instinct was to run to her and beg her to forgive him but he knew that she needed time alone and if he went now he would push her away for good so he laid back on the bed and stared at the ceiling imagining what his life would have been like had he been given the chance to live and grow old with Janet.

Meanwhile Janet grabbed a blanket from the couch and went outside on her porch swing. It was slightly chilly but the blanket should keep her warm. As soon as she was situated on the swing she allowed her tears to fall. She didn't want to cry in front of Eddie, he didn't need the added stress of watching her cry. She couldn't believe this was happening to them. He was such a good man who didn't deserve to die so young. She had known for a long time that life was cruel but this was beyond cruel. They just found each other and now they were being torn apart and there wasn't a damn thing that she could do to stop it. It was just her luck that the man she had been crushing on for years finally sees her as something more then the chubby bartender, they fall in love and he gets a cancerous brain tumor that's going to kill him.

She knew, without a doubt that she would stay with Eddie as long as he needed her, until he took his last breath, if he wanted her to. She was just terrified that she wouldn't be strong enough to support him. She was a very emotional person by nature and the last thing he needed from her was tears so she decided to do the one thing she was confident in. She would love him with everything that she had inside of her. She heard him shuffling around in the living room and she knew he would be coming out to join her shortly so she took a deep breath and wiped away her tears just as the door to the porch opened.

"Care for some company?" She scooted over to one end of the swing and held her blanket open, inviting him to join her. He walked out of the house wearing nothing but a pair of jeans, and gratefully sat beside her. He placed his arm around her shoulder and she laid her head on his shoulder.

"Tell me what happened this weekend." She demanded.

"On Friday after you left I went over to my parents to help my dad with the bathroom. The headache that I had when you left kept getting worse no matter how many pain relievers that I took. It got to the point that I couldn't stand or see. Dad found me on the bathroom floor, barley conscious from the pain and they rushed me to the ER. When I got there they gave me some Demerol, which is really great shit by the way. Once the pain wasn't so debilitating they started doing a bunch of tests and that's when they found the masses in my brain. They transferred me to Boston for more tests. Since it was after midnight when I got to Boston they didn't start the tests until Saturday and by the afternoon the doctor was telling me that the MRI showed three cancerous tumors in my brain and I have maybe six months to live"

"Can't they do surgery?" He shook his head.

"They are inoperable. According to the doctor they aren't in the best spot to get at and even if they could get to it the tumor has worked its way into my brain tissue so if they tried to get it they would have to penetrate the tissue and that would kill me."

"What about chemo or radiation?"

"That is an option."

"Then why the hell aren't you taking it?"

"Because Janet, it won't save my life. If I did get chemo or radiation I would be lucky if it gave me another month or two."

"But it's another month or two that you will be alive."

"If I get the chemo or radiation I'll be sick. I'll be puking all the time, I'll lose weight, and I'll go bald. I love my hair too much to go bald." She sent him a glare. "Seriously, I'm going to die. There is nothing that I can do to stop it and I don't want to spend my last few months sick. I want to enjoy what time I have left and I want to enjoy it with you, the woman I love."

"Without any treatment how bad will it get?" She whispered fearfully

"It depends on if it spreads or not. As of yesterday the cancer hadn't spread anywhere else but the tumors in my head are aggressive bastards who love to travel. I'm going to have to get weekly body scans to see if it spreads or not. If it spreads then I guess it depends on where it spreads to as to how bad it could get. If doesn't spread then we only have to worry about how it affects my brain. I'm going to continue to get headaches, bad ones. I'm probably going to get seizures. Depending on how big those bastards grow will depend on what part of my brain is affected but Dr. Turner said from it's current location I can expect to lose some of my memories and I may lose some of my body functions like walking, shit like that."

"What do you mean by lose your memories?"

"When the end comes I may not know who you, my parents, Katie or the guys are." Eddie felt Janet shudder so he tightened his grip on her shoulder.

"Who knows?"

"You, mom, dad and Katie." Katie was Eddie's younger sister. "I talked to her today and she will be here in a couple of weeks. She was going to come right away but I told her not to bother cause my girl and I would hopefully be in Vegas."

"When are you going to tell the guys?"

"Tomorrow night after they get off work." She lifted her head off of his shoulder to look at him. She could see the pain in his eyes and she knew that he had another headache.

"Come on, I know you have a headache. Do you have something for it?" He nodded. Janet stood, grabbed the blanket and pulled him to his feet. While she replaced the blanket back on the couch Eddie returned to Janet's bedroom.

"Can you bring me a glass of water?" He yelled. She walked in the kitchen, grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge. When she returned to the bedroom she found him in obvious pain, struggling with a pill bottle. She walked over and took the bottle from him and opened it.

"How many?"

"Two please." She dropped two Percocet into his palm and he quickly swallowed them.

"What are all of these for?" She motioned to all of the pill bottles that had taken up residence on her nightstand.

"I've got an iron pill, a pill for nausea, two pills to help prevent seizures, an anti-inflammatory, a minor pain pill and a major pain pill."

"Come on. Let's go to bed."

"I can't sleep yet. The pain is to bad and the meds hasn't kicked in yet."

"I'll hold you until you do." They crawled into bed. Janet propped herself up with pillows and Eddie laid her head on her abdomen. "Are you scared?" She whispered, running her fingers gently through his hair. She felt him nod.

"Terrified."

"Of what?"

"Of not being with you." She chocked back a sob.

"You'll never be without me, even after you die you will own my heart. I'm not going anywhere Eddie Latekka."

"I love you Janet." He mumbled sleepily. She leaned forward and gently kissed his forehead.

"I love you too. Now sleep." A few minutes later he was snoring softly. Janet spent the rest of the night staring at Eddie, memorizing every perfect detail of his face, not falling asleep until the son began to rise.

--

When Eddie awoke the next morning the pain from his headache was gone. He couldn't believe that he slept all night on her lap and she slept sitting up. He pulled himself out of bed and then he laid her down. She mumbled incoherently as he kissed her cheek. He grabbed his morning pills and headed down to the kitchen. He wasn't hungry, he was convinced that the cancer was killing his appetite but he couldn't take his pills on an empty stomach. He threw some bread into the toaster when his cell phone rang.

"Hey mom."

"Hi honey. How are you feeling?"

"Fine."

"Headaches or seizures?"

"Headache last night but I'm fine this morning." His toast popped up from the toaster and he shoved the entire piece in him mouth.

"Did you take your meds?"

"Hmmm." He mumbled with a mouthful.

"Eddie I did not raise a cow. Don't talk with your mouth full." He quickly slowed the toast, tossed the pills in his mouth and took a swig of water to wash it all down.

"I just took them."

"Did you tell her?" Laura asked him softly.

"I did."

"And?"

"She was mad at first but she told me that she would be with me until the end. Mom, am I being fair to her, asking her to stay with me and watch me die?"

"Does she love you Eddie?"

"She says she does."

"Then it's her choice. If she didn't want to stay then she wouldn't."

"I'm going to call the lawyer and make some other appointments. Care to be my taxi?" Dr. Turner wasn't letting him drive because of the seizures that he could start having at anytime.

"Of course. Just let me know when you need me."

"I'll call you later." After he hung up with his mom he began to make some phone calls. He needed to see his lawyer so he could make will. He needed to see a realtor about selling his house. He hated to kick Phil out but he didn't have much choice. He would just make sure he would do whatever he could to help him through this change. He also needed to go to the bank. He was going to close out his savings account and his retirement account since he wasn't going to make it until he retired. He was going to use that money to pay for everything that he wanted to do on his list and to help Janet out since she was going to have to take time off work to go with him. He just hung up with his mom again when Janet walked into the kitchen. He immediately walked over and kissed her.

"Morning gorgeous." He whispered huskily in her ear.

"Good morning. How's your head?"

"Perfect. How's your back from sleeping sitting up all damn night?"

"It's fine. Are you hungry?"

"I had a piece of toast."

"That's it?"

"Not really hungry."

"Oh right."

"Can we talk?" She nodded and they sat down at the table. "Since I don't have much time left I want to spend as much of it as I can with you so I was wondering if I could stay here with you?" She stood up and kissed him passionately. "Is that a yes?" He asked breathlessly when they broke apart.

"That was most definitely a yes," She told him with a grin.

--

"Eddie what the hell goes on?" Nick asked once all the guys had gathered at his soon to be former home. "You disappeared for three days without a single word to anyone, not even Janet. Did she dump your sorry ass or something?"

"No dipshit Janet didn't dump me. For your information we are still together and in love." The guys busted out laughing.

"Eddie Latekka is in love?" Owen asked when he finally stopped laughing. "Does Janet know this?"

"Yes Janet knows. I told her on Friday and she told me she feels the same way."

"You're serious?" Ikey asked

"Dead serious." His best friends have no idea how true that statement really was.

"Wow. That's a switch. Good for you man." Phil congratulated his friend.

"That still doesn't explain where the hell you took off to." Nick snapped.

"I was in Boston."

"What were you doing in Boston without us?" Ikey asked

"Trust me, you wouldn't of had much fun."

"Eddie just tell us." Phil said.

"I was in the hospital."

"Is someone sick? Is it Katie or your parents?" Owen asked him.

"Yeah. Someone is sick." Eddie answered and his friends just looked at him, waiting for him to continue. "It's me. I'm sick. I'm actually dying." Their first instinct was that he was joking with them but the look on his face told them he was telling the truth.

"Do you have AIDS?" Ikey asked. Given his past indiscretions this question was a logical assumption. Eddie was neither hurt nor surprised by it.

"I wish it was then at least I would have more time." He told them sadly. "I have brain cancer. I've got about six months to live. Now before you ask they can't operate and yes there is treatment but I'm choosing not to receive it but it won't save my life. It will just make me sick and I'm not spending what time I have left feeling like shit." His friends sat in silence. Eddie saw the looks of pain that crossed his friend's faces'. Owen stood and walked out of the house.

"How long have you known?" Phil whispered.

"Three days."

"Does Janet know?"

"Of course Janet knows. She's been great. I made of list of things I want to do before I die and she's going to help me complete my list."

"Things like what?" Ikey asked

"Going to Vegas, seeing Wayne Newton, flying over the Grand Canyon and hiking down to the bottom, learning to surf, fly a plane."

"What about us? Why don't you want us there with you?" Nick asked sounding somewhat hurt.

"I do want you guys there and you will be. There are some things that only my boys and I can do but I'm going to be honest I want to spend as much time with Janet as I can. You guys have had the first twenty some years of my last and I want to give the last few months to Janet since that's all I can give her and besides I really don't have any desire to make love to any of your morons."

"Thank God." Ikey quipped.

"Now Nicky, I'm obviously not going to come back to work." Nick nodded. "I would recommend that you hire Ikey fulltime. I'm still working with my lawyer on the best way to handle my half of the business."

"Until you decide what to do you'll still get your half of the profits." Nick told his friend.

"Phyz I have some bad news for you. I'm going to have to sell the house. I'll do whatever you need me to do to help you find your own place and get you there." He thought Phil was going to lose it but he remained calm.

"I'll buy the house."

"Excuse me? How the hell can you afford to buy a house when you never leave the house?"

"My website development is becoming very lucrative. I've got great credit and I can get a loan."

"Phil instead of buying the house maybe you could use this as an opportunity to get out of the house."

"I'm going to use this to get out of the house. I'm not going to sit around in this house waiting for my best friend to die. I'm going to be there for you. I want to buy this house because it is yours. We have lived together for years, I have so many memories of us and the guys here and after you're gone it won't seem right to have a stranger living here." His comments brought tears to Eddie's eyes.

"I don't want you to do anything you're not ready for. If you leave the house before your ready it could be worse for you then it is now. Nothing, not even my death is worth that." Over the years Eddie had done research on his friend's condition and he knew that if Phil forced himself out of the house too soon then he may never get out of the house and he didn't want that on his dying conscious.

"I'm ready Eddie. I think I've been ready for a while and now you've given me the motivation that I've needed. Now don't expect me to walk out of this door tomorrow but soon, I promise you my friend I will walk out of here." Phil told him.

"So what happens now?" Nick asked.

"Before I tell you all of the nasty details, I want to get Owen back in here." Eddie stood and went outside where he found Owen sitting on the steps. This was the second conversation that he had about his death outside, on a porch. Eddie sat next to his friend and waited for Owen to say something.

"It's not fair Eddie." Owen finally said

"You'll get no argument from me."

"How can you be so calm? Why aren't you furious? Why aren't you crying? I'm furious and I'm crying and I'm not the one who's dying."

"I was furious and I cried when I first was told but the hell is the point now O? If I lay down on my bed and sob or start punching holes in walls it won't change a damn thing, it won't make dying and leaving everyone any easier. So instead of pouting and feeling sorry for myself, I'm going to enjoy what time I have left."

"Eddie, you're the glue that holds all of us together. It's because of you that we all are friends. You were the best man at my wedding. You gave Ikey a job. You're the reason Nick came back home. You took care of Phil, no questions asked on your own. What happens when you die? I'll not only lose my best friend but all of my friends." All of the guys considered Eddie to be their best friend.

"That's bullshit Big O. We are all so tight. When Nicky took off we nothing happened to our friendship. What we all have, it's cemented. Nothing will ever break us apart, not even my death. You guys will be fine without me. It'll be hard but you guys will need to take care of each other and in the end you're friendship will be stronger because of my death."

"I hate this." Owen mumbled,

"Join the club. At least you were able to fall in love, get married and have a family. I finally fall in love and get diagnosed with cancer. I won't be able to marry Janet or have my own family. Treasure that Owen. You have no idea how lucky you are." Eddie said wistfully. It was the first time he admitted out loud how much he regretted not being able to marry Janet.

"I do know how lucky I am man. I'm so sorry that you won't be able to experience it."

"No use feeling sorry for myself." Eddie stood. "Come on, let's get back to my death party." Owen stood.

"Not funny." He snapped.

"Come on man, if I can't laugh about my upcoming demise what the hell can I laugh at?"

--

"How did the guys take it?" Janet asked him later that night.

"As well as can be expected." He placed his suitcases on the floor in her bedroom.

"I cleared out some closet space and some drawers for your things." She went over and grabbed one of his suitcases but he placed his hand over her wrist.

"We can do that later." She placed the suitcase back on the floor as Eddie turned her around. "I would much rather make love to you instead of unpacking."

"I think that can be arranged." Smiling shyly, Janet pushed her insecurities deep inside and removed her shirt and bra. Seeing the look of pure desire that crossed his face as his eyes roamed over her chest encouraged her to continue undressing. She slowly pulled her pants and underwear off. She stood there awkwardly while his eyes traveled up and down her body.

"You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen." He whispered huskily.

"Thank you." She said tearfully. Taking a half step he was placing his lips hard against hers. "You Mr. Latekka, still have way too many clothes on." She said breathlessly when they broke apart.

"Damn straight." He quickly removed his clothes while Janet lay on the bed. As soon as he was naked he crawled on top of her. He began kissing her gently while she spread her legs, granting him access.

"I love you Janet." He whispered as he slid inside of her.

"I love you too." She answered, wrapping her legs around his waist.

They made love slowly and tenderly whispering words of love into the darkness. When they reached their orgasm they both had tears streaming down their faces. When Eddie pulled out he rolled over and brought her with him.

"Eddie I'm too…" He placed a finger over her lips.

"It's perfect."

"I should get off."

"I believe you already did." He laughed when she turned red. "Please, stay like this. I want to be close to you."

"Are you sure?" He pulled her face down to his and kissed her softly.

"I'm sure." She scooted down and placed her head on his shoulder, in the crook of his neck. He pulled the blankets over them and wrapped his arms tightly around her. He ran his fingers through her curls until he felt her breathing even out. He lifted his head and kissed her forehead. "Sleep tight my love." He whispered lovingly.

Thanks so much for reading. Please review with your thoughts.