Disclaimer: I don't own HTTYD

Chapter Six – Hope Extinguished

Dad…! Dad…!

Stoick and his dragon were flying faster than ever before.

"I'm coming, son! I'm coming! Faster, Skull Crusher!"

Dad, help me!

Stoick was running faster than ever before.

"I'm coming! Hold on!"

Help me!

It didn't matter where he was or had been; only where he was going.

"Hiccup!"

Aaaaaaaah!

Stoick saw the silhouette of the axe swing up, heard the thud as it came down.

"NO!"

Stoick jerked awake with a heaving gasp. He didn't remember going to bed, let alone falling asleep. Stoick hadn't wanted to sleep; he knew he'd have nightmares, and nightmares could not be fought off with a war-hammer. Which he'd actually grabbed in his panic. Scowling, he set it aside and began getting up. There was no way he'd be able to go back to sleep, even if he wanted to.

Instead, he made his way outside. Stoick stood on the porch of his house, looking out over the village. In the cool night it looked peaceful, with everyone and their dragons safely in bed. Everyone except Hiccup and Toothless, his thoughts betrayed him. Stoick clenched his fists. Grief clutched at his heart and made him want to bellow, to tear out his beard, to smash something with his war-hammer. Death could only be fought off when you saw it coming.

A snort and the thump of heavy feet made him look over at Skull Crusher. The large dragon lumbered out of his stable, and butted his horn against Stoick's arm. Stoick rested a hand on the curved keratin and felt a thrum, a purr so low that it was a feeling, not a sound. "Aye. You can't sleep either, eh, old boy?"

Skull Crusher huffed and nudged him more insistently, jerking his head to gesture back at the saddle. "Ah, no wonder you're awake. I forgot to get that off you, hang on…" Stoick moved to unbuckle the straps and heave the seat off of Skull's back, but the Rumblehorn rolled his eyes and grunted exasperatedly. Moving far more quickly than a dragon of his size would be expected to, Skull moved behind Stoick and tossed his rider up onto his back. "Whoa!"

Before Stoick had a chance to protest, Skull Crusher had taken to the air. He beat his wings to keep the breeze flowing and lift his bulk, heading for the cliffs where the wind swept up with the waves. When Stoick's attempts to scold the dragon and make him land were ignored, the chief sighed and took a deep breath of the cool night air. It was peaceful, with the full moon and a few stars peeking out from above a patchwork blanket of clouds. All he could hear were Skull Crusher's wings and the waves rushing up to and away from the shore.

He actually started to feel a little bit better. I can see why Hiccup loves to do this so much he thought. That sparked the memory of what had happened, which brought the grief flooding back. Stoick groaned and pulled back on the reins, bringing Skull to a hover. "Sorry, friend. You mean well, but it's no good. A midnight flight won't lift my spirits…it reminds me too much of him. My son."

Skull Crusher grunted an apology. "It's not your fault" Stoick assured him, patting his carapace, but an odd noise made him pause and frown. "What's that sound? Go lower, Skull Crusher" he urged. The Rumblehorn obliged, and soon they were approaching the training ring. Fires were lit in torches around the edge and the ring was occupied, by a familiar Nadder and shield-maiden.

Astrid was busy murdering straw and wooden dummies. Most of them were already slashed to pieces. She'd foregone her favourite axe, Stoick noted, opting instead for a sword that she was currently eviscerating yet another dummy with. "Let's see how you like it!" she snarled, obviously imagining the dummies as the hunters who had killed Hiccup. The blade sliced off the arms in two quick moves, and a third swipe sent the cloth head flying across the arena.

Stoick hadn't seen her this worked up since Dagur attacked the village that one time of many and destroyed her parents house. Ah, now there was an uncomfortable thought. The reformed Berserker chief and his sister, Heather, were going to be devastated when they next visited Berk and heard the terrible news. Dagur would probably go deranged, albeit on the hunters, not them.

Skull Crusher landed behind her and Astrid spun around, raising the sword to throw as she would her axe. Then she recognised them, but Stoick was actually pleased to see her training and discipline being displayed. "Sorry, Chief. I, uh, didn't see you there" she said, embarrassed to have nearly thrown a weapon at him and his dragon. Skull Crusher had thick scales, but that was no excuse.

Stoick didn't rebuke her, though. Instead he dismounted, hefted his war-hammer and asked her, "Mind if I join you?"

"…Be my guest" she answered, stabbing the sword down into a dummy's head.

Stoick gave a nod, and marched towards one of the wooden cut-outs. With a great bellow, he swung the hammer and smashed right through the thick timber. The head of the wooden Viking went sailing through the air and clattered to the ground near Stormfly, who had been curled up asleep on the ground. She woke with a squawk and retreated to stand near Skull Crusher.

The chief paid no heed; his hammer made short work of the other wooden carvings, and he smashed them to pieces, whilst Astrid continued to take out her own rage on the remaining cloth and straw dummies. By the time they were finished, the arena was a mess, and the dummies reduced to splinters. "Feel better?" Stoick inquired, once he'd caught his breath.

Astrid bit her lip, eyes filled with tears. "Not really" she confessed. Her face crumpled, and she buried it in his beard. Caught off guard, Stoick nonetheless put an arm around her shoulder comfortingly as she wept. He shed a few tears of his own. "It's not fair" she spat, thumping a fist weakly against his chest. "He didn't have to go. It's not fair!"

No, it isn't. Stoick agreed with her wholeheartedly, but there was nothing he could say to ease her pain. He knew that, because her pain was his pain also, and it felt like nothing would ever fill the gaping hole in his heart where Hiccup, Valka and even Toothless had been. As the chief of Berk, especially in the years of the war, Stoick had helped many of his people through their grief. It's so much easier, he reflected, when you're not the one grieving.

In silent unison, they went to sit down on a bench at the arena's perimeter. For a few long moments, neither of them spoke, though their dragons came nearer to give wordless (as far as the humans knew) support. At last, Astrid murmured "Don't worry, Chief. I'll get the others to help me clean this place up in the morning." With splinters and straw everywhere, the ring was a sorry sight.

Stoick nodded absently. "You'll need new training dummies" he observed.

Astrid sighed and leaned back against the wall. "What's the point in training without Hiccup?" she asked rhetorically. Then her brow furrowed. "…On second thoughts, Chief, you're right. I need to keep training, so if I ever see those wretched cowards who dared to take him from me, I can murder every single one of them, and make sure they never hurt anyone I love again. They don't deserve to live." Her fists were clenched around the hilt of the sword.

"Aye" Stoick agreed, "they don't." It was strange, really. Hiccup had always reminded him of Valka, so much that it hurt sometimes. Astrid though, she actually reminded Stoick of himself. He had been a lot like her in his youth; passionate, honour bound, a fierce warrior. That was until a certain auburn haired Valkyrie had fought at his side against a common enemy, and sang her way into his heart, and brought out his softer side. He remembered being able to hold their newborn son in the palms of his hands…

"We have to find them" Astrid declared, cutting through the haze of Stoick's memories. "Even if we have to scour the whole coast of Myrkr. I just…Argh! I cannot believe those cowards! First they murder him, then they just leave him there and disappear off to Thor knows where?!" she cried, leaping to her feet and pacing back and forth, describing the gruesome fate she had in store for the hunters who had killed Hiccup when she found them.

Stoick, however, frowned thoughtfully. He couldn't stop thinking about what had happened, what he'd seen…but the more he thought about it, the less it made sense. Why would the hunters flee right after killing Hiccup? Unless they guessed he was being followed. But why leave his body in a rowboat, as if to give him a proper send-off? Stoick shuddered. He couldn't get the image of Hiccup's headless body out of his mind. It would haunt him forever.

Only, that was the other thing that didn't make sense. Why beheading? There were much quicker ways to end a life. Stoick didn't want to think about all the ways his only son could have been killed, but he couldn't stop himself. The hunters could have stabbed him, choked him, cracked his skull; but they'd cut off his head. It was a clean blow, not one dealt in the heat of battle. And the only reason Stoick could think of why someone who wasn't sentenced to death would be beheaded was…was so that…

"Odin's spear" he swore, rising suddenly to his feet. Distracted from her rant, Astrid looked up at him in concern. She asked if he was alright, but Stoick wasn't listening. He'd just been struck with an epiphany. In his mind's eye he saw, clear as day, the headless corpse wearing Hiccup's clothes, with Hiccup's prosthetic. Convincing, but it had just now occurred to Stoick that if the body was headless, how could he be absolutely certain that it was actually Hiccup?

"Astrid, you have Hiccup's peg, don't you? Fly home and fetch it, please" Stoick insisted. He had to know, and there was one way to find out. Once Stormfly and Astrid had left the arena, Stoick cursed more colourfully. He wished he'd stopped to think before. He waited impatiently until Astrid returned. When she landed, she held the peg out to him; he took it and told her, "It's time you went to bed, Astrid."

"But, Chief" –

"I'll give it back in the morning. Please, Astrid."

Stoick didn't look up to watch them go. He gazed at the masterfully crafted prosthetic in his hands, the only piece of Hiccup they had left. It was a poor substitute. He longed to hold his son, not this lump of wood and metal. "Skull Crusher", he called his dragon to him. Stoick held the wooden end of the peg to the Rumblehorn's snout. "Does it smell like Hiccup?" he asked. He prayed to any gods who still had mercy that his hunch was correct.

Skull Crusher sniffed deeply, nostrils flaring. At last, he nodded his great head, moaning regret. Stoick hung his head. His hand fell to his side, loosely clutching the peg. He was gripped by a sudden urge to hurl the wretched thing into the ocean, to join the remains of his only son; bury the ghosts so they would not haunt him. That one flicker of hope had been extinguished. Stoick was so tired.

He didn't know where he was. He couldn't really feel his body. His head felt fuzzy, like it was full of sheep's wool. He could hear waves. He could smell the sea. Was he on a shore? But he could feel the ground beneath him moving, shifting steadily up and down. Why was it moving? He tried to move. With what felt like far too much effort, he managed to curl his fingers.

That simple movement brought him back to his body. Hiccup immediately longed to return to the blissful oblivion he'd been in moments before, as pain radiated through him. Everything hurt. Memories rushed back, cutting through the fog like knives. What they'd done to him. Flogged him. Sheared him. Beaten him. Branded him. No, they hadn't beaten him, Hauke…Hauke had beaten…

Toothless. Hiccup forced his eyes open. He was met with a view of Toothless' tail, curled around him and tucked under his head like a scaly pillow. Hiccup was laid out on his stomach on a blanket he didn't remember being in the cage, and from the warmth and steady breathing to his left, Toothless was lying between him and the door. Protecting him. He remembered Toothless crooning a lullaby to him. Hiccup curled his fingers around the dragon's tail.

At once, Toothless nuzzled him, rubbing a cool snout against his cheek and temple. *It's okay, Hiccup* the dragon purred gently, *go back to sleep. I won't let them hurt you.*

Falling asleep again was very tempting. Instead, Hiccup began struggling to sit up. He had questions that only Toothless could answer. At first the Night Fury urged him to rest, save his strength; but when he refused to give up, Hiccup felt the tail slide under his chest and lift him. He dragged his legs underneath him, and wound up kneeling on the rumpled blanket. That simple movement exhausted him, and he panted heavily. *You didn't have to do that.*

Gathering all his strength, Hiccup raised his head and looked Toothless in the eye. "Toothless…thank you" he murmured hoarsely, throat parched. The dragon crooned affectionately. *You're welcome* he replied, and waited, knowing that Hiccup would not put so much effort into this if there wasn't more he wanted to say. After taking a few moments to catch his breath, Hiccup asked, "Why…didn't you tell me that we can feel each other's pain?"

Toothless closed his eyes in shame. *I didn't have time…and I didn't want you to worry about me. I'm sorry* he explained, whining. Hiccup sighed, and reached out to place a hand on his face, now free of the muzzle. "I didn't tell you they hurt me because I didn't want you to worry. But you knew. The whole time."

*Yes. And it's not just pain…we are one, we feel what the other feels, now.*

Hiccup shivered. Toothless wrapped a wing around him, resting lightly on his back. Only now did he realise there were bandages wrapped around him, the cloth stained reddish brown with his blood. It still felt like he was being whipped, as spasms of pain shot through him. With a shaking hand, Hiccup reached up to feel his hair – or rather, what was left of it. All his auburn bangs and braids had been sliced off, leaving a short fuzz against his scalp.

He knew Onarr had cropped hair, but he didn't think…Hiccup remembered what else they'd done to make him 'look the part' of a thrall. Unable to stop himself, he peered down at his left shoulder. It was covered with bandages, but he knew what was underneath. Hiccup tried to tell himself it didn't matter. His hair would grow back. He could cover or disguise the brand. He just had to figure out how to escape, and then they could go home and never think about this again.

Toothless ear-flaps pricked. Someone was coming. He rose to his feet and placed himself between Hiccup and the monsters, growling, letting fire build in his jaws. They had taken off the muzzle. That would be the first and last mistake they made. The pulley-cage clanked as it reached that deck, and a hunter stepped out, armed with a bow and quiver full of dragon root arrows.

Still holding fire in his jaws, Toothless swept his tail around to bat away the arrows, curved the tough scales of his wings to block them. Hiccup stayed kneeling behind him, watching the hunter, whom he dubbed 'Scarface', warily. The man unlocked the grate and tossed something draped over his shoulder through it. "Put your tunic back on and come with me" he ordered.

Hiccup frowned, suspicious. "Come with you where?" he demanded.

"Chief wants me to escort you to the surgeon. Get your wounds tended to before you work. You should consider yourself lucky, thrall."

"My name is Hiccup."

"That's a thrall's name. Did your last master call you that? Argh!" Scarface yelled, leaping back as a fireball exploded right in front of him. Toothless growled, already charging another blast. Scarface scowled, his namesake making it look even more grotesque. Deftly, he plucked an arrow from the quiver and notched it, aiming the point through the bars at the dragon.

"Don't you dare!" Hiccup cried, even as Toothless braced himself.

"Oh, I dare. I'm the best marksman on this ship. An arrow will hit the dragon eventually, and then you'll both be in pain. Or should I say more pain."

This was what Hiccup had been afraid of; why he'd refused to tell anyone of the heart bind until he had no other choice. The hunters were using his bond with Toothless against him. "Stop! I'll come with you" he said, dragging the tunic to himself and tugging it over his head. Toothless growl-whined. *Hiccup, don't go. Stay here where I can protect you!*

Hiccup struggled to his feet, using Toothless as a crutch. "It's okay, bud. I don't want them to hurt you…us. I'll be fine" he insisted, trying to convince himself more than his dragon. What could happen next played out in his head. He'd pretend to give in, and just as Scarface opened the cage door, Toothless could charge him and knock him out. They'd steal the keys, free the other dragons and bust out of the ship, get a ride back to Berk. This could be their chance.

Hauke was standing over him. "Disobey, try to escape, and you will be made to spend the night in the barracks with the crew. I can assure you it will not be a pleasant experience." Onarr glared at him. "Sigurd and I tried to escape once. You do not want to know what they did to us afterwards." An arm pinned him against the wall, hot breath whispered in his ear. "Do you have any idea, what they're going to do to you?"

Hiccup snapped out of it when Toothless nudged him. *Don't go* the dragon begged him, pupils wide but unhappy. *Please.* Hiccup longed to stay, to feel safe, but they weren't safe. Scarface still had the arrows and he would hit Toothless in this enclosed space. "I'm sorry, Toothless" he apologised, leaning over to embrace his friend. He felt the warmth in his chest surge; the pain was pushed back. Through the heart bind, Toothless was giving him strength.

"Thank you" he whispered, before straightening. "I'm ready" he told Scarface, adding a reluctant, "Sir." The hunter took a key and unlocked the pen. Straightaway, Hiccup saw that there were no other keys on the ring. Hauke had already anticipated that he might try to take out the guard, now that Toothless' muzzle was off. So much for that plan. I really hate these guys.

Scarface led him to a part of the ship he hadn't been before; the sick bay. It wasn't a very welcoming place, with knives hanging on the wall and straps on the wooden gurney, probably to hold someone down whilst the surgeon amputated…Hiccup's stump throbbed. The sick bay on this ship looked more like a torture chamber. I really wish I hadn't thought that.

The surgeon was an old man. He made Hiccup take off his tunic and sit on the gurney, then started unwrapping the bandages. Hiccup didn't want to look, but he couldn't stop himself. There on his shoulder was exactly what he'd dreaded; the slavemark. A serpent curved into the shape of an 'S'. Beneath it were two smaller letters, a 'D' and 'B'. Initials, for Drago Bludvist he realised. It was a mark of ownership. A mark of shame and servitude. A mark of the damned.

"By Thor" the surgeon grimaced, "those are some nasty gashes. The quartermaster must have really been laying into you last night; did you say something to upset him?" he inquired as he cleaned the wounds.

"…I think he would have hit that hard anyway" Hiccup replied at last.

"Perhaps. You want to be careful not to get on his bad side; you're too skinny to handle getting flogged like that again. Next time all the skin could come off your back, and believe me, I've seen that, it's not pretty" the surgeon commented. He wasn't treating Hiccup as badly as Flogger and Beater had, but Hiccup could not forget that this man had likely been there on deck the other night, watching as Hiccup was whipped half to death. He didn't need or want the man's pity.

"I'll keep that in mind…sir."

The surgeon applied a salve to the brand, which smelled awful but cooled the burning skin. He gave Hiccup medicine to drink, telling him to "hold your nose and gulp it down." It tasted foul. Then he pushed a crescent shaped piece of wood into Hiccup's mouth and advised him to bite down whilst he stitched up the worst of the gashes. Hiccup grit his teeth and clenched his fists on the edge of the gurney as the needle poked through his skin. I really hope it was clean.

At last the ordeal was over; the surgeon finished stitching the gashes and began bandaging him up again. "Wait!" Hiccup exclaimed, "Could…could you leave the bandages off, please?" The surgeon paused, and gave him an incredulous look. Hiccup gulped and explained, "It's just that my Night Fury, his saliva has healing properties. He – I mean, I'd feel better if he tended to my wounds…sir."

The surgeon rubbed his beard thoughtfully. He briefly rummaged through his things and returned with a small vial. "Bring me some of this healing dragon spit every time you come, and I'll leave the bandages off."

"…Every time I come?"

"Yes. You need to come back here every day until your wounds have scarred. Or until your master sells you, whichever comes first" the surgeon shrugged, reminding Hiccup once more that aside from Toothless, he had no friends in this horrible place. Except, Toothless didn't put that blanket in our cell…so who did?

Hiccup took the vial. "I'll get you some of his saliva…sir. Just, don't expect it to do anything miraculous" he warned. The last thing he wanted was for the surgeon to think Toothless' saliva was some kind of incredible cure-all and try to harvest it, or something.

"Oh, of course not. Have a nice day" the surgeon waved as Scarface led him out of the room. Hiccup was beginning to think the man was touched in the head.

The first chore of the day was usually to help prepare breakfast for the crew, but since Hiccup had been in the sick bay, that burden had fallen mostly to Onarr. "It's about time you showed up" the ginger muttered irritably when Hiccup appeared, "I had to do half of your share of the work whilst you dawdled in the sick bay."

Hiccup scowled. He was trying to be understanding, knowing that Onarr was hurting from Sigurd's murder, but the man was really beginning to test his patience. "I'm so sorry my getting whipped is inconvenient for you" he retorted, voice so thick with sarcasm it could have been spread on toast.

"It is, actually. We're supposed to split the chores evenly, and we can't do that if you're always having to be patched up after a punishment."

Hiccup seethed. "I didn't ask for this!" he protested.

"Neither did I. My father was a thrall, and I am also; nobody asks for their place in life, it's just what you're born into" Sigurd replied with a shrug.

"But I wasn't born into this! I'm an heir. It's my birthright" Hiccup insisted. He tried to ignore the persistent voice in his head whispering A birthright you rejected, look where that got you.

"Thralls can't be chieftains. You lost your 'birthright' when they marked you."

"Onarr, this is wrong. You must know this is wrong. You can't possibly like it here" he pressed, making a desperate attempt to reach out.

After a few tense moments, Onarr admitted, "I don't."

"Then help me. If we work together, we can both esc" –

"Shush! Keep your voice down, do you want the whole ship to hear? Look, if you want to do that, it's your problem. I'm not taking that risk, not again."

"Why?" Hiccup demanded, agitated, "What did they do to you?"

"I don't want to talk about it" Onarr refused…before adding in solemn tones, "Some…some punishments leave scars you can't see."

"Do you think this is what Sigurd would" –

"Shut up" Onarr glared, "You don't say his name. He's gone and nothing you do or say will bring him back…or make me forgive you."

Hiccup sighed and went back to the chore, reluctantly giving Onarr up as a lost cause. He had to focus on saving himself and Toothless, nobody else.

It was a long day. His back and shoulder hurt, even with the heart bind giving him strength. Scarface followed him around the ship, but didn't stop the rest of the crew from insulting and criticising him; especially the cabin boys, who seemed to love having someone below even them in the pecking order to bully.

The hunters called him thrall, runt, whelp, brat; they mocked him at every opportunity. He didn't get a chance to see Toothless; Onarr took the job of feeding the dragons, leaving him to do laundry and cleaning dishes. He had to spend more time around Hauke than he wanted to, which was all of it, and though he'd worked out that Adulfr must have given him the blanket (it was Sigurd's blanket, he realised), Hiccup couldn't thank him. The one time he'd seen Adulfr, the teen had brushed past him as if he wasn't even there.

Each time a hunter belittled him, each time they looked at him with contempt; whenever they swiped or kicked or spat at him, when the cooks looked impatient when he asked for food or water (that, thankfully, they didn't deny him); Hiccup felt hollowed out inside. It was horrible…and horribly familiar. It felt uncomfortably similar to the way things had been before the war ended.

No; that was unfair. Even on the worst days, he'd never been treated this badly back on Berk. Most people, back then, had simply been indifferent to him, except for Gobber and his father. Being aboard this ship was like being trapped amongst a whole crew-full of Snotlouts and Dagurs as they'd been before they stopped being such jerks. Only these hunters were even worse.

Hiccup felt so homesick his heart ached. The only bit of home he had was Toothless, and it was such a relief when Scarface finally led him back to the cell. His friend growled at Scarface until the hunter had gone; then the snarls became purrs and Toothless licked him enthusiastically. Hiccup laughed in spite of himself. "I missed you too, bud" he smiled; then he groaned, clutching at his left shoulder, as a burst of pain shot through the brand.

*I know it hurts* Toothless moaned sympathetically. *I'll be careful* he promised, as he helped Hiccup kneel on the blanket. Hiccup trusted Toothless with his life; he tugged off the tunic, wincing as it pulled against his wounds. The dragon gave a heartbreaking whine at the sight of the angry red, blistering skin of the burn, the ugly welts and stitched gashes criss-crossing his beloved's back.

*Oh, Hiccup* he crooned. First he lapped some water from the small trough to cool his tongue, and then gingerly licked the burn. At the feel of the cool water on his burning skin, Hiccup moaned in relief. Toothless could see the burn made a mark like a snake, with two symbols beneath it that he didn't understand. *I've never seen a burn like this before* he said as he licked it tenderly.

"It's not a burn" Hiccup replied, wincing. "It's a brand; the worst brand. It's a slavemark." He felt tears prick at his eyes. "I thought…when we escaped, we could just go home and forget this ever happened. But now, with this", he gestured at the brand, "I can't escape it. I'll always have these scars."

Toothless sighed. *Maybe we shouldn't forget. Can you lie down? I can't reach* he prompted. Hiccup stretched out on his stomach, giving Toothless room to lick the welts and cuts on his back. The dragon was as gentle as he could be, but Hiccup still winced and hissed in pain. *There's something I need to ask you* he said slowly, *and I promise I'm not trying to make you feel worse…but why did you want to go to Myrkr alone?*

Hiccup stiffened. He'd closed his eyes, but now they flew open. "I…you know why. To find more Night Furies" he replied, uneasy. Toothless kept licking his wounds even as the dragon spoke. *Yes, but why alone? Why not ask your friends to come? They've been on plenty of adventures with us before.*

"I, I know, but…look, I don't want to talk about it" Hiccup refused, stubbornly turning his head away and shutting his eyes. Toothless fell silent for a while. Finally, he heard the dragon whine. *I don't blame you* he crooned reassuringly, *This isn't your fault. If anything, it's mine.*

That made no sense. "What makes you think this is your fault?" Hiccup questioned, brow furrowed. Toothless nuzzled him. *You didn't fly yourself to Myrkr. I brought you there. I thought I could protect you, but I failed.* The dragon moaned, low and mournful. Hiccup felt a sudden, inexplicable twinge of guilt. He remembered what Toothless said before about feeling what the other felt; he was sensing his other half's emotions through their bond.

"No, you didn't" he insisted, looking over his shoulder at Toothless. The movement pulled on his injuries, making him wince, but he persisted. "You didn't fail, Toothless. Going to Myrkr was my idea; you trusted me and I…I let you down" he admitted, hanging his head in shame. The dragon nuzzled him, licked his burned shoulder. *You could never let me down.*

Toothless kept licking his wounds; the pain eased, and Hiccup sighed in relief. "Thanks, bud…" he murmured. Then he grew pensive. This was a talk he knew they needed to have, but that didn't make it any easier. "You're right; it was stupid to go alone. What am I saying? It was stupid to go at all. I just wanted one more adventure before…"

*Before what?*

Hiccup sighed heavily. "You ever feel like the future is coming too fast, when all you want is for things to stay the same?" he asked.

Toothless' tail flicked back and forth as he considered it. *Sometimes* he said finally, *but the future comes whether you want it to or not.*

Hiccup groaned, in frustration rather than pain. "That's the worst part; I know this is stupid, and selfish. I shouldn't feel this way! I should be happy, my life is great! At least, it was, before…" he groaned again and buried his face in his arms. Toothless ceased licking his wounds for now and lay down beside him.

*Don't be so hard on yourself* he admonished gently. *I know how you feel. I hate 'if's too, and the future is the biggest 'if' of all.*

Hiccup wasn't entirely sure what to make of that, but he didn't dwell on it. Instead he took a deep breath, and tried to put his twisted up feelings into words. "I'm twenty" he said at last, "I'm a man now, I'm supposed to…to stop exploring and going on adventures. I should be settling down and…y'know, Astrid's parents kept dropping hints, about me proposing to her. And it's not that I don't want to marry her" he declared quickly, "but, marriage is a, a big commitment – and what if she gets pregnant? I'm not ready to be a father.

"And my father is – he wants me to take over as Chief, but I, I don't know if I'm ready. I don't know if I'll ever be ready. I never really wanted to be Chief" he confessed, "I can lead but, all the speeches and planning and running the village, that's not me, that's his thing. And he's Stoick the Vast, one of the greatest chieftains Berk has ever had. How am I supposed to live up to someone that – that brave and selfless?"

*It shouldn't be too hard* Toothless remarked, purring affectionately. *You're the most brave and selfless person I know.* Hiccup, touched, smiled for the first time since they'd been captured. Toothless folded a wing over him and commented, *That's the odd thing about us dragons and you humans. Our bodies grow faster than our minds, but your minds grow faster than your bodies* he said, rather cryptically in Hiccup's opinion.

"What do you mean?"

*Well, you're full grown, and you're saying that means you have to stop doing fun fledgling stuff, find a mate, raise some young and be all mature and adult.*

"Yeah…pretty much."

*Maybe how old your body is doesn't matter. My body is sixty years old, and I still love playing hatchling games like chasing light spots and wrestling and batting things around. Oh, and licking you. It's fun to watch you squirm* Toothless admitted, demonstrating by swiping his tongue over Hiccup's cheek.

The young man stared at him, wide-eyed. "You're sixty?! I mean…you look good for your age" he added hastily. Then it occurred to him that if dragons could live for centuries, sixty was young for them. "I get it" he said slowly, "You're saying I shouldn't worry so much about the future, because I'm still young and now, there's gonna be a lot more future. I guess…if we're really gonna live for three hundred years, there'll be plenty of time for adventures when we're older."

*And possibly wiser, but with us I wouldn't bet on it* Toothless teased. Hiccup's smile grew wider. *I really do know how you feel, though* the dragon continued, *Like you're expected to do more than you're ready for.*

"Yeah…" Hiccup was glad his other half understood, but… "But, it's not really the same, is it? Everyone expects me to be the Hero of Berk. Nobody expects you to do anything except help defend the village and try to eat your own body weight in fish" he teased, feeling well enough to nudge the dragon with his elbow. Toothless licked him in retaliation.

*First, flying takes a lot of strength. Especially when we're carrying extra weight. Second, that's not what I meant. The humans in our pack might not expect anything of me, but the dragons do* Toothless confessed. Hiccup stared at him, surprised. *When we killed Her, the Fire-Giant, the old queen…they all expected me to take over the pack. To be the alpha…but I didn't claim it. I didn't want it.*

"But…but you'd be a great alpha! Much better than the last one" Hiccup insisted, "and you're better looking, too."

*Thanks. It's not that I wouldn't be a good alpha – your friends dragons, my friends, they pledged to follow me as alpha even if I never claimed the title. I guess I must be a good choice if even Hookfang is willing to follow me. But leading the whole pack…I never saw myself doing that. Not without you.*

Hiccup blinked. "Me? You…you didn't claim the title of alpha, because of me?"

*We both defeated the Fire-Giant. You couldn't claim the title, so I didn't either* Toothless acknowledged. Hiccup's mind was reeling.

"No…you shouldn't give up being alpha just for my sake, Toothless. Don't let me being human keep you from claiming the title – you'd be a great alpha."

*So would you. If you really don't want to be a human alpha – how about being a dragon alpha? You can understand us now, there's nothing stopping us both claiming the title.*

"Heh. I don't think my dad would be too pleased."

*Tell you what, when we get home we can ask him if you can be the alpha with me, and if he says no, I'll just sit on him until he agrees* Toothless offered. The mental image made Hiccup giggle, which pulled painfully at his wounds. "Ow…don't make me laugh, it hurts."

Toothless craned his neck to give the burn and gashes a few last licks, soothing the pain. *I'll keep watch* he declared, *Try and get some sleep, you're exhausted.*

Hiccup rolled his eyes. "Yes, mister bossy" he grumbled half-heartedly, resting his head on his arms and closing his eyes. "Don't worry, bud. I'll get us out of here. I'll think of something. I…", he yawned, "promise…g'night…"

Toothless crooned and wrapped his wing a little tighter around his sleeping human. *Goodnight, little brother.*