I don't own these characters; ABC/Disney does.
5: Heroics
Henry stood outside of his former home, staring up the walkway. It seemed larger than he remembered, which was odd considering he was just there. There was something somber surrounding the place that he could not put his finger on. Whatever it was felt like it was crushing his chest and he briefly considered that there might be a spell on the property. He looked around, expecting to see a dark cloud, but there was nothing.
"She's probably trying to scare people off or keep them away," he muttered, his breath visible in the winter chill.
He tugged on his book bag strap and took a step forward, but paused right after. He had no idea if … his mom? … Regina? … The Evil Queen? … no, his mom. He had no idea if his mom was home or even if she was if she would let him in. The last time he was there, she sort of looked through him and brushed past him.
It had not bothered him much at the time, but now he had time to think about it. His mother had never snubbed him like that, had never treated him like that. He had always been the center of her world, even if he was doing something that she did not like. The idea that she could look through him was beyond him and he could not come to terms with it. He was not sure why, but he knew that he disliked that she had ignored him so thoroughly. He did not know what to do about that either.
Added to that, she thought he let her dog out on purpose. He would never do something like that, even if the puppy was probably better off. After all, he doubted that the Evil Queen cared about the dog beyond it being useful in some scheme that she was cooking up. Of course, it looked like his mother was not doing anything of the sort. Not that it mattered because he would never do something like that, even if the dog deserved a real home. But, it would have been cruel and he was not cruel. He was the son of the savior, after all. His grandparents were the heroes of the Enchanted Forest. He was good, not like her.
"Yeah, I am good. She's the one that's evil. She does cruel stuff, but I'm good," he stated, just to make sure he knew that.
Actually, he was certain that he was good because he was here. Only a good person would show up at the Evil Queen's house to … to … was he checking on her? Yeah, he was checking on her because he was a good person. And there was the guilt. Bad people did not feel guilty because if they did they would stop being bad. It made sense to him, anyway.
"I bet she doesn't feel guilt and she probably doesn't even care that the dog is gone. She probably just fooled Emma. She's probably planning something and she's tricking Emma, so she can get away with it while the Savior's running around on this wild goose chase," Henry said to the air. The air did not contradict him. I'm brilliant!
He actually hoped that she was planning something. It would make much more sense than the vibe that he was getting from Emma. For the past few days, Emma had been running herself ragged trying to find the dog, even in two days of horrible rain, which had also included some hail. He doubted she was searching as hard as Emma was because she probably was just messing with Emma. In fact, she probably did not even care about the dog.
"Yeah, and I'll prove it and Emma won't be mad at me anymore because she'll see Mom is just playing her, lying to her like the Evil Queen's supposed to do. And she won't make me apologize," Henry declared and he smiled. Obviously, he was beyond brilliant!
He just needed to show that Regina was not as broken up about the dog being gone as she had Emma believe. I should try to figure out what she's up to, also. This way, I can prepare Emma for it and we can defeat the Evil Queen again! The best thing to do would be to sneak into the house and just catch his mom being normal, whatever normal was for an evil queen. He could then bring Emma later to see the same thing and Emma would see that she was being played and she would not be upset with him. Plus, he could stop feeling guilty about letting the dog out. He grinned; again, obviously, he was brilliant!
He ran to the side of the house to go in through the back door. He paused in the doorway, feeling the same strange sensation as he had when he was at the front of the house. There was something heavy and creepy drifting around the place, passing through his skin and bones. It chilled him and caused his heart to race. He swallowed hard and panted, gripping the doorknob tightly. And then, he blinked and managed to shake it off.
"She probably cast a spell," he reminded himself. "I'm not scared of her and I need to prove that she's doing stuff like this."
He put his book bag down by the door, thinking he would be stealthier without that weight on his back. He was quiet when he used his key to open the door and took a deep breath before he eased inside. The interior was worse than whatever it was that he was feeling outside.
The house was completely silent and utterly dark. It reminded him of a graveyard, but the ones that he would see in late-night, scary movies with zombies and vampires instead of real, neat cemeteries. He would not have been surprised if mist floated by on the floor or an owl shrieked in the distance. The atmosphere was thick, weighty, and the air almost felt pressing, like it could and might crush him. There was an odor hanging around that he could not identify. It was stale and burned ever so slightly. It gave him pause once more before his determination and curiosity got the better of him.
"Something's going on," he decided. He just was not sure if it was what he initially thought. His heart continued to beat rapidly and his stomach twisted a bit.
He crept through the grim house, listening for his mom, but hearing nothing at all. His breathing grew deeper as his chest felt tight and his stomach flipped once more. He was tempted to call at for his mother, but the thought that she might not respond terrified him more than the silent state of the dreary house. So, he tiptoed through across the dusty tile floors and tensed when he came to the living room. He could see the couch from an angle and there was a lump lying curled up on the sofa.
Briefly, he had to study the lump. It was his mother, but he could not believe it. He had never seen her lie on anything beyond a bed and even that was rare. There was a small mess of forgotten cups and plates on the coffee table. There was still food on most of the plates, barely half-eaten. Some of the cups were tipped over, leaking water and tea all over the expensive coffee table and onto the floor.
Henry could not help the deep crease that formed on his forehead. Something's really wrong here, he thought with his heart taking up residency in his throat. His mother would never just leave dishes out like that, especially since there were food crumbs and more on them. The huge pieces of food, those should have been in the trash. But, Regina did not seem to care about that.
Studying Regina, Henry had no idea what to make of what he was witnessing. His mind tried to figure out the angle, but there was nothing. She was just lying there on the couch, as still as a piece of furniture. Her eyes had dark circles around them and were fixed on a far wall, not blinking and glassy. Her hands, bony and the color of chalk, were clutching at one of her bedroom blankets that partially covered her. Her hair was spread across her pale face, which was milk-white. He could see hints of blue lines in her face, her veins.
"M-m-mom?" he said before he realized it. His voice trembled and stumbled over the simple word.
Regina did not move, at all. His heart clenched and he held his breath as he stepped closer, hoping to see if she was breathing. With each step, he felt like his heart was going to explode and his body quivered to the point where he felt like he had no control over his arms. He was ten; he did not need to discover his mom dead! He was not emotionally or psychologically prepared for this! Please, don't be dead, please don't be dead, please don't be dead!
"Mom?" he repeated, reaching out to touch her with his shaking hand.
He took a deep breath, managing to steady himself before he made contact. She was cold, but thank goodness she looked at him when his fingers tapped her forehead. It was like being stared at by a zombie, something straight from the movies.
"Mom!" He jumped. If his heart did not explode there, he guessed it was safe to assume that it would not.
Her eyes were unfocused and her cheeks were sunken in. She looked like the closest thing he had ever seen to a fresh corpse in real life. He did not know what to make of that, just like everything else. Clearly, there was something wrong with her. Oh, man, what am I supposed to do?
"Mom, are you sick? Do you need help?" he inquired, even though he felt that was obvious. If I call anybody, who would come? Dammit! Living with his birth mother had colored his vocabulary, if only in his own head.
"Henry?" Regina said, her voice weak and scratchy.
"Yeah, Mom, it's me." He paused, taking a deep breath to keep calm and steady himself. "Are you all right?"
"Henry," Regina repeated and she looked directly at him with a smile. But, it was a strange smile, like she was in a daze or a dream. He wondered if she was even really seeing him.
"Mom, are you okay?" he asked once more. He would have thought that she was running a fever if only she were not so cold.
Regina did not respond. That strange smile remained on her face as she reached out for him, touching his cheek with chilly, thin fingers. He almost reeled back because her hand was so emaciated and pallid. She's like a skeleton! God, how sick is she? Is she dying? He was about to hyperventilate because she needed help and she needed help now, but he did not know what to do. Not to freaking brilliant now, are we?!
"Mom, where's your cell phone? I'm calling Emma," he declared. She'll know what to do and she'll help!
She scoffed and pulled back, sitting up, but putting distance between them. He was a bit surprised that she could hold herself up. She looked like she should just fall over, maybe even crumble into a pile of dust.
"The sheriff departed not too long ago. Of course, you would want her." Her voice was like a croak, rattling out of her throat, and plummeting almost before it reached his ears.
"I want her to help you! What do you mean she departed? She saw you like this and left you? What's going on?" he demanded with a tense frown. Emma wouldn't just leave her here if she's dying!
Regina flopped back down, her blanket falling away somewhat, revealing her clothes that were definitely too big for her. She looked thinner than he remembered. Was she like this before when I came and I didn't notice? Are these the same clothes from before? God, has she been off the couch since last week?
"Mom …" Henry was not sure what to say, but he felt like he needed to say something.
She turned her attention to the floor, watching it with unblinking eyes. He felt his throat tighten as he realized he had done this. He had broken his mother. He had broken the Evil Queen; a feat the greatest fairy tale heroes had not been able to accomplish. But, he did not feel very heroic or even good about himself. In fact, he had to swallow down burning vomit as it tried to blaze a trail up his throat and tried to get out of his mouth. He could do nothing about the hot tears that seared their way down his cheeks because they would not stop coming. He wiped them away, but he could not wipe away the pounding in his head and the weight in his chest.
"Mom, I'm really sorry, not just for letting your dog out, but that things came to this. I'm sorry your mom's dead and I'm sorry that you're like this, being depressed and all," he said and that sounded lame to his own ears, but he could not apologize for the other things that he was sure was bothering her because he would then be lying to her. Not to mention, he felt like the other things were her fault, not his. She was the one that hurt people.
The admittedly crippled apology did not ease any of the anxieties in his body, though. He was not sure what he should say or do to rid himself of those feelings. He was not sorry for any of the other things, he was certain of that. He did not want his mother to be this thing on the sofa, though. He was sorry that she was like that. At least he thought that was why he was sorry.
What is wrong with me? Why do I feel worse and more confused after saying I'm sorry? I don't understand. None of this makes any sense! His eyes searched his mother's face for answers – as a baby, he used to believe she knew everything – but she had nothing for him. Her eyes offered nothing, except despair and rot. Looking at her was like being punched in the stomach with an iron fist.
"Go home, Henry," she said as if she could not be bothered.
"I'm not going home, Mom! You need help!" he hollered, ready to throw a tantrum if it would only get his mother to move and act normal. He did not care if she scolded him for his behavior. He would give anything for her to tear off the sofa and send him to his room.
She did not respond, did not even blink at his outburst, and he did not know what to do. Crying was tempting, if only to get a more lively response from her and his eyes were tearing anyway, but he decided against it. The last thing he needed was to find out that she could ignore sobs from him now, too. Instead, he tore through the house, searching for his mother's cell phone. She usually kept it next to her for emergency purposes, but now she was the emergency and it was nowhere to be found. She did not move a muscle while he did this.
She's not even scolding me for messing up the house! What's going on? What happened? This really can't be for just a dog! It probably wasn't even her dog! Part of him knew that was neither here nor there as he knocked books off of the bookshelves and flipped pictures all around, figuring since the phone was not in the obvious places, it was time to start checking the stranger areas of the house.
Eventually, he discovered the phone, under the dining room table for some reason with a cloth napkin over it. The phone had nicks in it, as if it had been chewed, but thankfully if worked. The phone was password protected, which was new, but his mother was so predictable that he cracked it in one try. He saw all of her recent calls had been from Emma.
"Is Emma checking on her?" he wondered aloud while dialing the sheriff.
"Regina, what happened?" Emma answered in a frantic tone that made him think his mother might be worse than he first assumed. Of course, if she was worse, he wondered why Emma had left her alone in the first place.
"It's me," he breathed, glancing back into the living room to see his mother. She still had not moved.
"Henry, what are you doing with Regina's phone? Something happened?" She sounded even more panicked now.
"I came over to apologize and I found her on the couch. I think she's sick. She needs help, Emma." The "please, help her" did not need to be said.
"She needs time, kid. Make sure she's got that blanket over her and then go home." While she was much calmer now, that was clearly an order.
"It's been a week!" That was practically forever!
"She needs more time than that. Adults don't bounce back as quick as kids. Now, just go make sure she's covered and then go home. I'll let you know how she is later, all right?"
He sighed. "All right." It was the best he could do for now. He disconnected the call and went to do as commanded.
-8-8-8-8-
Emma put her cell phone back in her pocket and continued with her self-imposed mission, freezing her butt off while she searched. She felt like she had turned the whole town upside down. It was like Lady vanished into thin air, which she could not rule out considering where she lived. She was definitely learning to hate magic, even if it had nothing to do with this. But, she soldiered on, calling Lady's name and squeaking her favorite toy, which she felt utterly ridiculous doing. It all seemed in vain until she heard a faint bark behind a small bearing wall.
"Lady?" she called once more and gave the rubber ducky a squeeze. There was a faint yap again.
She easily hopped over the wall, landing in a tiny lot that was open to the woods. Looking around, she saw a small ditch, which was a little muddy thanks to the rain from days ago. Of course, it being Maine, the mud was also frozen. Carefully, she stepped down slight slope to see there was a big hole up further up the ditch. She squeaked the rubber duck once more. She could still hear Lady more than anything else and when she peered to the hole, she saw the whining puppy. Emma almost fell over herself to get there.
"Oh, god, Lady." Emma bent down to the crying dog. While the hole was not big compared to the sheriff, for the filthy canine it might as well have been the Grand Canyon.
For a moment, Lady cowered, as if she did not know Emma. The pup turned around and tried to pull herself out of the hole. Her paws scratched at the dirt, only causing more to fall into the hole. She was already exhausted and shaking, so she collapsed as her attempted escape failed miserably. Thankfully, Lady did not hurt herself.
The blonde was careful and slowly eased her open hand down, allowing Lady sniff her. The familiar smell was enough to calm down the puppy. Lady looked at Emma with big brown eyes and let out a soft cry. It cut Emma to the core.
"It's okay, Lady. I just need you to stay calm and stay calm. Now, let's get you out of here and get you home to a lady that really cares about you and really needs you," Emma commented and Lady let out a weak yelp, as if she agreed.
She had to twist a bit to get down into the hole to pick Lady up. She nearly fell over, having one leg in and one leg out. I don't think my body likes bending this way. She knew it was only a matter of time before gravity got the better of her, so she acted as hastily as she could. Quickly scooping Lady up, Emma planted both legs into the hole in order to push herself out. She held Lady close to her chest as she hoisted them both out. Lady whined and snuggled into the sheriff, nuzzling and licking her as soon as she was against Emma's body.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're grateful. I get it, but I don't need all the love," Emma said, trying to dodge the tongue because she did not know where Lady had been or what she might have been licking for a week.
She held the puppy away from her both to save herself and to inspect Lady. Beyond being muddy and shivering, Emma could not see anything wrong with her. But, she was not a medical professional in any way and had never actually held Lady up close before this moment, so she could always be wrong.
"Okay, you look decent for a dog out on her own for a week. Hopefully, you're as good as you look. Let's get you back to someone that really needs you," the blonde declared. Lady yapped, as if she understood. Emma gave the pup a lingering stare before deciding to let it go.
The sheriff wrapped Lady in her scarf to warm her up and then made her trek back to her car. She put Lady in the passenger seat and watched as the puppy had difficulty moving. She was not sure what to make of that, so just drove as quickly as to Regina's as she could without endangering herself.
Emma was not surprised to find the front door unlocked; hell, she would not have been surprised to find the door wide open. Regina was in a serious "don't give a fuck" mood to the degree that eating was too much for the brunette. Regina had been in the same clothes for a week, too. Showering seemed to be out of the question as it would involve her having to get off of the couch. Honestly, she would not be surprised if the clothes had bonded to Regina's skin through dirt and grim. Emma wondered if that had been the case for more than just the time that Lady had been missing.
"Regina?" Emma called, going right to the living room.
The ex-mayor was curled up on the couch as expected. She hoped that Henry was gone because he did not need to see Regina as she was, or worse if this did not work. She moved closer to the supine form on the sofa. There were no signs that she had moved since Emma had been there an hour ago. Hard to believe Henry was here.
"Regina, get up. I have someone that wants to see you," Emma said and Lady yelped.
Regina turned at the noise, but did not move beyond that. The way she moved, it would not have been surprising to hear her bones grinding against each other. All of her regal grace and elegance was gone, replaced by a cadaver in a wrinkled designer skirt.
Emma went to her and eased Lady, scarf and all, into Regina's gaunt arms. Regina accepted Lady with trembling limbs. Lady whimpered and whined while cuddling into Regina's chest. Regina held her close and breathed in for the first time in a week.
"You might want to check her out. I know for a fact that a week of being homeless leaves marks, even if you can't see 'em," Emma commented.
Regina nodded and was off of the couch as if she had not been lying there for days. While she was up, she still lacked that queenly grace that used to radiant off of her. She marched away more like a marionette than anything else while Emma eyed the coffee table. Sighing, she picked up the dirty dishes that Regina clearly could not be bothered with. I can't believe I'm picking up after her. I don't even clean up after myself! Well, she cleaned up if Mary Margaret told her to, but that was rare. Usually, Mary Margaret picked up after her without a word, or asking her if she wanted something else while cleaning up.
It's like she thinks if she spoils me, I'm less likely to run, Emma thought about Mary Margaret. But, she quickly shook that away. She did not want to travel down the mother road. No, she had to look after Regina. Regina needed her undivided attention right now.
Emma cleaned up the sofa by folding the blanket as best she could and putting it over the back of the couch. She sat down once she was done and waited for Regina. The brunette returned with a clean Lady, who was asleep in Regina's arms. It was strange to see, but made sense. Regina seemed to need to care for and be cared about in return, which, to Emma, was a huge mark of her humanity. Maybe the only mark, but there was still a human being in there. Maybe it's even trying to crawl its way out. She hoped that was the case because the last thing she needed or wanted was for Regina to go back to normal (for Regina) after all of this.
"Is she okay? She was trapped in a hole when I found her," Emma stated.
Regina glanced down at the puppy. "Physically, she seems fine, except a little thin, but that can easily be remedied."
"That's good. Being with you can help with the other stuff, I guess."
"So, she didn't run off to another family?" Regina blurted out in disbelief. Her eyes were wide, but her face was bewildered.
Emma chuckled. "Not unless her family was in that hole and considering she was there alone, I think it's a safe bet to assume she didn't run off to another family. I couldn't find a family, Regina. I asked around and she doesn't seem to belong to anyone. There aren't posters up, no one calling my office to report her gone. No one was missing a spaniel puppy. I can't figure out where she came from. So, I think she's yours."
"Mine?" Regina echoed as if she did not know what that meant. Glancing down at Lady, it seemed like she expected the pup to run off. Lady seemed perfectly content, sleeping against the former mayor.
"Yeah, Lady's yours, so you might want to buy some tags for her and stuff. You can get her chipped in case she runs off again. She'll be easier to find, if she doesn't make her way home anyway."
The smaller woman nodded, but was quiet for a while. "Thank you."
Emma almost did a double take, but managed to keep it in. It took all of her self-control for her to keep a straight face. Regina did not need anything like that. Regina needed normalcy to back her away from the edge. Maybe that human being in there's gonna come out and stay, as long as she doesn't end up slitting her wrists or something.
"You're welcome. I wonder where did Lady come from, though. Could she have wandered in from the outside?" Emma mused aloud.
Regina absently caressed the top of the puppy's head. "It's possible, but I doubt it."
"I guess it doesn't matter. It's good that you have her back."
"Thanks to you, of course. Tell me, Miss Swan, why did you care so much for me to get her back to me?" Regina looked Emma in the face, eyes searching for the answer to her question.
The blonde shrugged. "That's what a good person would do?" She did not mean for it to come out as a question, but she did not want to go into detail about her real reason.
"No, a good person would have allowed Lady to find a home with someone capable of loving properly. A good person would have torn Lady from my arms and left me to this tomb. A good person would have made sure Lady never came back to me, ever."
"No, that's not what a good person would do. God, I hope you're kidding." Emma knew that was not the case, though. Regina actually believed that a good person would have hurt her further. What the hell is wrong with her? How screwed up is your mind to think that's what a good person would do?
There was that silence again. "Do you honestly believe that bringing Lady back will help?"
Emma was speechless now. She did not think that Regina knew why she was doing her best to get Lady back. Now, she wondered if retrieving Lady would help at all.
"Are you … are you going to hurt yourself?" the blonde asked in a small voice. Well, I guess a more accurate question would be, are you going to continue hurting yourself?
"Does it matter?" The flat, lackluster tone of the question was as worrisome as the question itself. It seemed there was a possibility that even with Lady, Regina would just allow herself to waste away.
"Yeah, it matters. I don't want you to and I know you might not believe it, but Henry doesn't want you to either. He's confused right now. I mean, really, crazy-head-spinning-cuckoo-clocks confused and he damn sure isn't the only one. He doesn't hate you and he didn't let Lady out on purpose."
Regina did not look convinced. "He doesn't love me. He may call me Mom, but he doesn't see me as his mother. He hasn't for almost three years."
"What happened?" Emma suspected that it was not anything serious. She always figured that despite Regina's attitude toward everyone else, she was more bark than bite with Henry. Knowing both Regina and Henry and their flare for drama, they had probably taken an anthill and made a mountain out of a simple issue.
"He figured out that he was adopted and he was furious with me. He believed I had lied to him for his whole life. Nothing I could say soothed him, nothing I researched worked, so eventually I sent him to Doctor Hopper, hoping our relationship would mend. I thought if nothing else, at least he would never be able to find his actual parents and would eventually accept me, but no luck in even being second best this time," Regina explained in a whisper, as if these words could not leave the living room.
Emma's brow furrowed because that seemed like an odd choice of words. It was shocking that Regina seemed willing to be second best. But, more than that, it was shocking that Regina was sharing with her. She had obviously gotten behind some wall and she was glad for it. It might help Regina. But, it was also a little frightening. Do I really want to know what the hell goes on in that head? She guessed she did because she was going to go with it.
"That's just how kids are. The grass is always greener. On the rare occasions I was placed in a good home, I still imagined my birth parents to be a million times better," Emma stated.
"Who are a king and queen and heroes to many," Regina pointed out dully.
"Okay, but the point is, kids are like that. When you were a kid, you never imagined that you were adopted and somewhere out there your super awesome parents were going to come and save you from these tyrants that dared to give you a bed time?" Emma chuckled a bit.
Regina did not crack a smile, but the far off look in her eyes said she had done exactly that. "I've done that with more than just my parents."
"Most people have. Hell, I still do it."
Regina arched an eyebrow. "Not enjoying your parents?" There was none of her usual scornfulness or bit in the question. It was as if she was genuinely curious.
Emma certainly had gotten behind a wall and she now believed that she was looking at the tiny bit of human that was inside of Regina. She was talking with that human. Emma wondered if Regina even realized it. Now, just gotta keep the human out and try to keep Regina from doing anything crazy.
The sheriff shook her head to answer the question. "Just trying to wrap my mind around having them. Also trying to wrap my mind around going from friend to daughter with Mary Margaret." Mentally, she winced, doubting that Regina wanted to hear that name.
"How is she? Gotten herself together after having me kill my own mother? Justified in her actions?" Regina guessed. Again, there was not a sound of anger or maliciousness in her voice. While her eyes had some life in them, her fire was still out.
Emma shrugged, not wanting to go into it. She hated that Regina accurately guessed what happened. And that was yet another thing that Emma was trying to wrap her brain around. Mary Margaret was a good person, but she had definitely done a horrible thing that no one wanted to acknowledge as a horrible thing, including herself. She had not called Mary Margaret on tricking Regina into killing her own mother, but had been running it around her brain and it was always a messed thing no matter how she thought about it. She just could not bring herself to say anything about it and she hated that it was out of fear. She was afraid that if she said something wrong or did something wrong, her parents would reject her, just as every other family that she ever had.
"Of course, that's what happened." Regina sighed and she suddenly looked quite tired, but sleepy, not exhausted and dead. Her shoulders dropped and she caressed Lady again. "Well, Miss Swan, I will not be harming myself today, but I should take care of Lady."
Emma nodded. "Yeah, that's good." She stood up, feeling confident that Regina would be fine for the day. "I might pop in tomorrow." She needed to make sure that Regina was going get better.
"If you happen to do it after your shift ends, there might be dinner waiting," Regina commented and that almost made the sheriff fall over.
Emma was not sure how she managed to stay on her feet, but she thanked whatever divine being existed that she did. "Uh … cool. Thanks."
"No, thank you, sheriff." Regina then rose and vanished deeper into the house.
Emma took that as her time to exit. She was not sure if Regina would ever be totally fine, but she hoped that the dead look was gone for now. It seemed like Regina turned a corner. And she was getting dinner out of it.
"Awesome," Emma sighed as she went to her car. Now, she could go get some rest.
-8-8-8-8-
Next time: The ladies have dinner and bond.