Thanks to LiZZR for the chapter title idea. Enjoy!

Though Castle fell almost immediately back to sleep, his thoughts did not. His dreams included Kate, guns, and pure fear. His writer's imagination had scenarios working the brief information he had into horrible tales.

It sort of felt like he had died and gone to hell.

His first dream took place back in the cemetery, the cemetery he buried the Captain in. The cemetery he almost lost Kate in. Instead, he was the one to get shot. His lower back hurt and he pictured Kate holding him in her lap. Begging. "Rick… stay with me Rick. I love you, Rick. So much." Then, he watched her walk away. She didn't actually stay to make sure he was ok. His heart hurt as much as the gunshot wound in his back.

The next dream took place on the infamous swing set. They were clearly arguing about something, the argument didn't seem to be important to him in the moment. What he did notice was that he seemed to be kneeling in front of Kate. His arm was outstretched with a diamond ring held in his hand. Kate was looking at him like he had lost his mind. "Marry me, Kate. I don't care about where you go. Just say yes. Please. Stay with me." "Sorry Castle, you aren't worth it. DC has more opportunities for me, and I don't need to bring my New York baggage along for the ride."

Dream number three seemed to be unsettlingly close to reality. He was walking alone in a forest, perhaps a park. He was searching for something. It felt like perhaps he was searching for Kate. Whatever it was held importance to him. He was walking alone. It was dark and eerily quiet. His destination was a group of bushes off in the distance. He could hear his name being called softly, "Castle. Castle, come here. You comin' Castle?" over and over again.

The closer he got to the bushes the more uneasy he felt. Like a lamb being lead to a slaughter.

After what seemed like an eternity of walking, Castle finally approached the mysterious talking bushes. Then, before he could process what was happening, Beckett shot up from behind a shrub and she held her gun out in front of her. Pointing directly at his heart.

"Kate. What are you doing? Please put the gun down. I get it, I won't touch your stuff anymore" he said in a strained chuckle.

Her cold stare and monotone voice scared him when she said, "I'm so tired of you. You have been nothing but annoying and hell on my nerves. This is the only way to keep you gone. For good."

"No, Kate. No, I'll leave. Just don't… please don't!"

"Castle, you never listen. You aren't worth it anymore. I'm leaving you. Goodbye."

And with that, she pulled the trigger. The bullet tore through his back and was immediately laying on the cold ground. He could feel the blood pulsing from the hole somewhere below his heart. He fell with his arms trapped underneath his body in a way that he couldn't reach for the phone in his pocket. He thought about calling out to Kate, thinking maybe this was all a bad joke. She would never hurt him. She would never leave him alone to slowly die. They were partners.

He laid there with tears running down his face. The cliché "my life flashed before my eyes" had begun. He remembered his mother, in all her flashy glory and in her times of motherly concern, and how much he idolized the woman. He truly loved her. He watched Alexis grow from the small, perfect infant in his arms to the beautiful, intelligent young woman she is today. She will forever be his greatest accomplishment. He hopes that she doesn't take his death too hard. She has too much to live for.

He also watched as his Kate loved and laughed with him. Through the good times and the bad times, they had been loyal partners. She had been it for him. To steal her phrase "one and done" wouldn't really work, because of his 2 previous wives. Yet, she was the only one he had loved so fully, so purely. He could truly be himself around her, and Kate accepted him. Faults and all. That was until she shot him. Why, Kate? What did I do wrong?!

Castle woke with a start, breathing heavy. His eyes were wild as they frantically took in the scene before him. He was no longer lying in a pool of his own blood, on the cold ground of a park after the love of his life shot him. Instead he was hooked up to an IV, in a sterile hospital room, with Kate's hand in his.

Kate. He quickly released her hand as if it was burning his palm. It must have been pretty late at night because she was currently sleeping. Her head was leaning against the bed, close to where their hands had been before he pulled away. She looked very uncomfortable and pained, both with the way she had her body contorted and the expression on her face. One thing he always loved about waking up before Kate in the past was the content, happy expression on her face as she slept. Her face is rarely so relaxed and open when she is awake. Now, though, her face reminded him of how she looks when she was working her mother's case. Terrified.

With the fog of his nightmares slowly leaving, he was able to think a little more clearly. He felt so clueless at the moment. He remembered her saying he had been shot and was in the hospital. The details of the shooting, why she was here, and how he was going to be physically was haunting him. He knew he needed to wake Beckett up to get the answers he sought, but he needed just a moment more to think alone.

How did he feel about Kate being here? He wasn't sure exactly how to feel. To be honest, it felt wonderful to know she was here. With him at his side. Almost like no time had passed since he had last seen her. He missed her fiercely. His thoughts constantly were with her and he ached with the knowledge that she chose her career over their love. Was she here for the night? Until his family returned? He couldn't go through her leaving him again. The bullet wound was far less painful than the broken heart he had grown accustom to living with. He also couldn't open his heart to her completely. He couldn't trust her.

Eventually, he realized making any decision without knowing the whole story would be pointless. However, he was going to keep his distance from Kate. No…Beckett. She wasn't his any longer so she was now Beckett. Yes, that should help. Hopefully.

"Beckett" he said while nudging her hand. "Beckett, wake up. I need to talk to you."

"Castle? Oh, Castle you're up!" She reached past his hand and pressed the nurse's call button. As much as she ached to be alone with him, talk with him, she needed to make sure he was going to be ok. "Castle, I know you have a thousand questions but the doctor needs to come in to check on you. Then we can talk. Ok?"

This nurturing side of Beckett was disconcerting. Never had she spoken so softly, almost motherly to him before. Ignoring his feelings might be more difficult than he thought. So, instead of answering her he just nodded his understanding.

Kate reached for his hand again. She craved the link between the two, as small as it was, but it helped to keep her grounded and her emotions in check. Castle, however, felt stifled by it. He immediately dropped her hand and turned his head away. The hurt on her face would break his nerve if he looked toward her now. He needed answers more than he needed to feel her hand in his.

"Mr. Castle! It's good to have you with us. You gave us all quite a scare for a while, but you will be just fine now. Has Detective Beckett told you about your injuries?"

"No, Agent Beckett has not. Maybe you could fill in why the hell I'm here?" Castle replied with more enthusiasm and charm than he felt. He was shocked at how normal he almost sounded.

Dr. Marshall spent the next 10 minutes discussing the condition Castle had been found in, the surgery, and what his recovery might look like. They were still waiting for the swelling to go down before they could check for any lasting damages. Though, for the moment, he had feeling in his legs and feet, which was a very good sign.

"Well, Mr. Castle, do you have any other questions for me before I insist you get some more rest?"

"It's Rick, and no. I think you answered all of them. Thank you for saving me. I owe you."

"Nonsense. Rest, you will need as much of it as possible. Night."

With that, he left the room and left Castle and Beckett alone.

"Rick I…"

"I'm going to sleep."

"Oh, ok. 'Night."

There was too much to think about for Castle to try to have this conversation with her tonight. Actually, he didn't want to have a conversation with her at all. He fell asleep right as he heard her soft sob.

To Be Continued