Disclaimer: I don't own HTTYD

Chapter Fifteen – Time to Heal

Hiccup frowned, still half asleep. He was…lying on something hard. He thought he might have fallen asleep on something hard, but the hard thing was…moving? Up and down, like…a boat.

His eyes snapped open. He sat up and looked around wildly, panicked. Where am I? He was in the cage. On Hauke's ship. No, no, that was impossible, they got out, he and – "Toothless?!" Hiccup cried out, looking for his friend. Toothless was slumped by the bars, fast asleep. "Toothless, wake up!" he pleaded, trying to shake the dragon into wakefulness.

"He won't wake up." Hiccup gasped and scrambled backwards, staring at Hauke in horror. "Foolish boy. Did you really think it would be that easy? I know you tried to escape." Hauke held up a bloodied shard of ceramic. "You know what happens when you try to escape. Do with him as you wish." Shadowed figures closed in, hands reached out to grab him. Hiccup struggled and screamed.

"Toothless! Toothless, help! No! Let me go! Noooo!"

*Hiccup! Hiccup!*

"Toothless!"

Hiccup jerked awake, breathing hard. He was shaking all over. Toothless nuzzled and licked him, crooning. *It's okay, it's okay. You're safe. I'm here.* He clung to his dragon and shuddered. He was…in his room, on Berk, curled up with Toothless in a nest of furs on the stone slab. He was home. Hauke was dead.

"I…we were on the, the ship – Hauke knew" – Hiccup pulled his sleeve down to see the scars on his arm. "He knew I'd tried to – he said – they were gonna" –

*It's okay* Toothless crooned, holding him close. *It was just a nightmare. All of that is over now. We're home. We're safe* he insisted, pressing his snout against Hiccup's fluttering heart and purring. Slowly but surely, Hiccup relaxed a bit. He was scared to go back to sleep, though. He'd had dreams before, where he'd been at home. He wanted to stay awake and know that this was real.

Their bond conveyed all this to Toothless, who licked his temple and crooned, *Sleep, love. This is real, I promise. You trust me, don't you?*

"Always" he whispered. Toothless comforted him until, exhausted, he fell back asleep. The dragon sighed. This was not the first time Hiccup had had a nightmare about his ordeal, and it would undoubtedly not be the last.

They were both woken in the morning long after the sun had risen, by the sounds of Biters crowing on the roof and Stoick (and Valka, now, too) bustling about downstairs. For a while Hiccup was content to just lie curled up with Toothless, listening to the familiar, much missed sounds. At last his hunger got the better of him, and they rose with much yawning and stretching.

If Hiccup thought having a hot bath yesterday had been luxury, then dressing in his own clothes (the thrall clothes had been unceremoniously thrown on the fire) felt wonderful. At least it would if getting dressed did not uncover the scars and the brand that he would likely have for the rest of his life. Still, he felt better, more like his old self, when his normal clothes were on.

He and Toothless left their room and came downstairs. His father and mother were already at the table; Stoick looked up and beamed at the sight of them. "Morning, son!" he declared cheerfully, scooping a generous helping of what looked like porridge into a bowl and dunking in a spoon.

"Good morning si- dad." Hiccup caught the slip, but couldn't stop himself from flinching a bit. "Sorry. Force of habit" he mumbled apologetically as he slipped into a seat. Stoick placed the bowl of porridge in front of him and dumped a basket of fish in front of Toothless, who warbled gratefully and tucked in.

"It's okay" his mother said sympathetically, "None of us expect things to go back to normal straightaway." It was only then that Hiccup realised she wasn't actually sitting on her chair, but crouching on it like a dragon. His father hadn't said anything, so he didn't either, instead opting to eat the porridge. It was lumpy, and full of so much honey he could feel his teeth melting.

Still, after eating nothing but salty pork, fish and peas for two months it was one of the best things he'd tasted in ages. "How did you sleep?" Valka asked him.

Hiccup swallowed a mouthful and awkwardly confessed, "I, um…I had another nightmare. That I…I hadn't escaped."

"But you did" Stoick insisted, "and it's good to have you back. Both of you."

With a small smile, Hiccup replied "It's good to be back."

When Hiccup had finished, his father suggested they take a walk through the village, so he could catch up on what had been occurring whilst he was off "chasing after those friends of yours." It was a chance for the villagers to welcome Valka and Hiccup home as well. They had thrown a feast to celebrate, where Stoick explained what had happened and how things would change.

Hiccup wasn't sure about it; but then there was a knock on the door. Stoick opened it, and had to dodge a small green and orange living projectile. "Sharpshot!" Hiccup cried, as the little dragon dived into his arms. "Hey, little guy! Oh, I missed you so much, I'm so sorry…" Hiccup cuddled the squirming Terror, mindful of his sharp claws, until he remembered himself. "Uh…"

Looking up, he found that his father had let his friends in. Hiccup blinked, taken aback. Snotlout and Fishlegs had… "You – you cut your hair?" he asked uncertainly. They'd both had their hair almost shaved to the scalp.

"Oh, yeah, y'know, it needed a trim" Fishlegs shrugged, rubbing his nearly bald head.

"And besides, it saves me from having to wash it" Snotlout added.

"The escaped slave look is very in this year" announced Tuffnut, doffing his helmet to reveal he was actually bald, he'd just left his dreadlocks in.

Ruffnut gave all three of them an incredulous look and demanded, "What are you talking about? I thought you did it so Hiccup wouldn't feel so self-conscious about having short hair!"

Hiccup stared at them. "You…you guys didn't have to do that" he protested.

"We wanted to" Fishlegs insisted, "We said we'd be there for you, and we meant it."

"The not having to wash our hair is just a bonus."

Astrid rolled her eyes in disgust and explained to Hiccup, "We just came to ask you if you want to come flying with us."

"Yes, please" he replied, "Just let me put Toothless' saddle on…um, where is his saddle?" Hiccup inquired, realising that he'd lost it when they were captured. Nobody could meet his eyes. He frowned, worried. "Is…is something wrong?"

"No! No" Astrid shook her head, looking sheepish. "It's just…we sort of…"

"We thought you might need them in Valhalla, so we burned them" Tuffnut announced bluntly.

"…Oh."

"It's my fault" admitted Stoick, "I suppose I wasn't thinking straight."

"Well, no…you did think I'd been…" Hiccup rubbed at his neck and decided, "It doesn't matter. I could make a new one…if that's alright?"

"Of course. Why don't you ask Gobber to help?"

"Good idea."

Hiccup's friends offered to stick around, but he said they should go have fun. Astrid insisted on staying, however, and Hiccup didn't argue. Instead he stayed close to Toothless as the five of them walked down to the forge together.

Everyone seemed happy to see him, villagers and dragons alike. They welcomed him home, offered sympathy for the plight he'd suffered, begged him to tell them what their dragons were saying…it felt strange to be asked to do things instead of ordered. The dragons bowed to Toothless-Hiccup as their Alphas; they had claimed the shared title yesterday to better mediate squabbles between the original flock and the battle-ready newcomers.

By the time they reached the forge, progress slowed by all the Vikings and dragons who wanted to come and say hello, Hiccup was feeling more at ease. He didn't expect what happened next. His dad called out to Gobber, who turned to greet them with a cheerful grin on his face – and a red hot poker in his hand.

Hiccup stared at the glowing tip and froze. It was coming closer, too close, too hot, scorching his skin. "No, no, no, don't, don't, please, don't! No, don't!"

"Hiccup? Hiccup!"

"Ach, Gobber, put it down!"

*Hiccup, breathe!*

Someone touched his shoulder; Hiccup wrenched himself away with a scream and reeled back against Toothless. He looked around wildly, seeing everyone staring at him, he must have freaked out and made a fool of himself, he had to get out – without a thought he scrambled onto Toothless' back. The Night Fury spread his wings, glad for once of the auto-tail, and leapt.

"Hiccup! Come back!" Stoick cried out, seeing them fly off. He was afraid to let his son or wife out of his sight, and watched them anxiously. Much to his relief, Toothless went into a dive near Raven's Point, which meant they were going to the cove. He turned to Astrid, who had tried to snap Hiccup out of the panic he'd been in, and instructed "Make sure he's okay." She nodded and hurried off.

Stormfly flew her to the cove. *Sorry, Alpha-Hiccup, but your sire is worried about you* the Spike-Tail explained as Astrid dismounted. Toothless was sitting by the lake, his wings curved around himself, obviously hiding his rider.

"Hiccup?" she called tentatively, "Are you okay?"

"…Yes" he replied after a moment, in a way that suggested the opposite.

"Are you gonna come out?"

"…No."

Astrid sighed. She had been trying to be more patient lately, so she sat down on a nearby rock, within earshot but not close enough to touch. "You didn't have to fly off, you know. Your dad's worried about you, and I bet your mom is too."

"I know. Stormfly said" he replied. Astrid looked back at her dragon in surprise, who only shrugged her wings.

"Hiccup, being battle-haunted is nothing to be ashamed of" Astrid insisted. Toothless gave a curious grunt and tilted his head at her. "What's he saying?"

"…He doesn't know what that means."

"What, battle-haunted?" she checked. Toothless gave a nod. "Oh. Well, sometimes when a warrior is in battle, and something terrible happens – maybe they see a friend die, or they nearly die, or they lose a limb…after it's over, it still haunts them. They keep reliving it, like…like a phantom pain. You know how Hiccup's leg still hurts sometimes, even though he lost it years ago?"

The dragon nodded again, and she could see the understanding bloom in his intelligent eyes. He folded back one wing to reveal Hiccup curled up, knees drawn up to his chest and arms wrapped over his head. He looked pitiful, but Astrid had never been one for pity. "You're being childish" she declared.

He looked up at that, indignant. Good. "What happened to the Hiccup who talks back?" Astrid challenged. "Who makes sarcastic, funny quips and isn't afraid to tell people what he thinks? What happened to the Hiccup I fell in love with?"

Hiccup dropped his chin onto his arms and said glumly, "He got enslaved and hit like a dog every time he said or did anything out of line."

"But we're not going to hit you. Hiccup, you don't have to be afraid anymore!"

"I know!" he cried, exasperated. "But I am! I saw the poker and I was back there, being…" Hiccup pressed a hand over the slavemark and went on, "I humiliated myself in front of everyone. I ran away from my problems like I always do, even though that's what got me into this mess. It's been two months, Astrid. That's how long it took them to turn the Hiccup you knew into this…snivelling coward. Just two freaking months."

Astrid stared at him. Hiccup regretted his outburst and looked away. "Sorry."

"No…I'm the one who should apologise" she admitted, "I was being insensitive. It's just…I hate seeing you like this." Astrid hesitated, but slipped off her rock and came to kneel beside him. Toothless didn't stop her, and finally Hiccup looked at her again. "You're not a coward, Hiccup. I can't even imagine what you've been through, but whatever happens next, we can face it together."

Astrid smiled encouragingly and laid a hand on his arm…then she prodded it gently, and squeezed it. Hiccup raised an eyebrow. "…What's wrong?"

"I know this sounds odd, but can you curl your bicep, please?"

Confused, he obeyed, tensing the muscles in his arm. Astrid poked it again and her eyes widened. "Your muscles…they're stronger. I'm sure of it. And they're a bit bigger too. Here, feel mine. They feel like yours" she insisted, flexing her own arm. Hiccup didn't really see the difference, but when he poked at it, he supposed it did feel a bit stronger. "I hadn't noticed" he confessed, "though I guess I was pulling on ropes a lot…"

"I want to teach you self-defence" Astrid said suddenly.

"Um…I already know how to do that."

"Yeah, but just the basics. I think you should practise it; I can help you. It'll help you get your confidence back" she explained.

"I guess that makes sense…" Hiccup agreed slowly. "Okay. It's worth a shot…but, um, is it okay if I go and see Gobber first?"

"Of course" replied Astrid, pleased that he wasn't trying to hide away anymore. If anyone gave him any grief for struggling to cope after what he'd been through, they were going to have to answer to her.

The next day, Hiccup offered to help out at the forge. He wanted things to go back to normal, and not be afraid of hot metal. It was going well until Gobber had to go on some errand or another, leaving Hiccup and Snotlout (and Grump) alone at the armoury/dragon dentist/saddler/whatever the forge was.

They each did their own thing, Hiccup seeing to the dragons and telling their riders what they were saying; Snotlout working on mending weapons and saddles. They kept out of each other's way and got along fine. Then a familiar face strolled into the forge. "Morning, son" Spitelout greeted, "I got an axe here I need you to sharpen for me. I've got a bit of a wager going on wi' Sven about who can chop through a log quicker, and I need it in tip-top shape."

"No problem, dad" Snotlout declared, "One razor sharp axe coming right up." He missed Hiccup's wince and took the weapon straight to the grinding wheel.

"Oh, and hello, Hiccup. It's good to see you back home in one piece – apart from the obvious, o'course" Spitelout remarked, nodding to his prosthetic.

"Thanks, S-Spitelout" he replied uncertainly. "It's good to be home."

"I'll bet you wish you'd never left, eh?" Suddenly, Hiccup wanted the older man to go away. He was bringing up things that Hiccup didn't like to think about. Spitelout went on, seemingly oblivious to his discomfort. "Course, getting enslaved is a pretty extreme way for the gods to teach you a lesson, but it seems like you've learned it. 'Bout time, if you ask me."

Toothless growled. *Hiccup, tell him if he keeps talking, I'm going to bite his head off* he declared, baring his fangs at Spitelout.

"You're not gonna do that."

"Beg pardon?"

*How do you know that?*

"Because I wouldn't let you."

"What – are you talking to me, or to the dragon?"

"I was talking to Toothless. He…doesn't like what you're saying."

*I just don't like him.*

"Why? All I said was it's good you've learned your lesson. After all, if you hadn't flown off to the back o' beyond in the first place, this never would've hap" –

Snotlout abruptly reappeared. "Here's your axe" he said to his father, stone-faced. "I think maybe you should leave. We're really busy."

Spitelout's eyes narrowed. "It's rude ta interrupt yer father in the middle of a sentence, boyo. And it's even ruder to order him to up and leave."

Hiccup watched Snotlout, and saw him falter. "I, uh…I mean, you should leave because…because you don't want to be late for that competition with Sven, right? You oughta go and show him why a Jorgenson always wins their bets."

"…You know what? You're right" Spitelout declared, suddenly jovial. It was unsettling. He clapped his son on the shoulder and took the weapon back. "Thanks for sharpening it. Wish me luck – not that I need it. Spitelout, Spitelout, oi, oi, oi!" he cheered to himself as he strode off, axe slung over his shoulder.

"Yeah, you go dad!" Snotlout grinned…it vanished as soon as his father was out of sight. He sighed in relief and muttered, "That was close."

Hiccup frowned. "How come?" he asked tentatively.

"Nothing. Weren't you busy? And where the heck did Gobber get to? It's been ages!" Snotlout complained, looking around for the blacksmith.

Said blacksmith re-emerged moments later. "I'm right here, keep yer hair on."

"I don't have any."

"Whatever. Nobody made you cut yer hair off. Look, why don't you two go for a fly instead of keeping yerselves cooped up in here all day?" Gobber suggested, all but pushing them out of the forge. Hookfang wasted no time in snatching his rider up and taking to the air. Toothless reassured the new dragons watching that this was perfectly normal, then he and Hiccup followed suit.

"Snotlout, wait up!"

"Leave me alone!"

"What…did I do something wrong?"

"No. Now go away!"

*Don't take it personally, Alpha-Hiccup* said Hookfang, *He's worried his sire will punish him for disagreeing.*

"…What?!"

"I said. Go. Away."

"No, I meant – Hookfang said you're worried your dad is gonna punish you."

"You told him…?! Why am I not surprised? Traitor. I knew you never liked me."

"…He says he told me because he likes you. I don't understand. Why would your dad punish you, you didn't do anything wrong! And he didn't seem upset when he left" Hiccup protested. Sure, it had been a bit abrupt, but he didn't think…

"I disagreed with him. Maybe not out loud, but still….look, you wouldn't understand!" Snotlout insisted defensively. He pulled on the reins to steer Hookfang away, but Toothless intercepted them. *Wait, Hookfang.*

"Snotlout, wait! I do understand. I mean, I know what it's like to…to be scared of getting punished. I didn't before, but now I do. Honestly, I'm still scared."

"I know you know what it's like" Snotlout rolled his eyes, "Why do you think I got the others to cut their hair this short?" Hiccup stared at him in surprise. He'd thought the haircut was Fishlegs' idea. "Look, my dad…my dad's wrong, okay? But don't tell him I said that" he glared warningly.

"…I won't. Listen, um…thanks. For getting him to leave."

"Don't mention it. Really. But, y'know, if you ever…wanna talk about stuff…I won't give you any touchy-feely advice or hugs or anything, but I'll, y'know…listen" Snotlout offered gruffly, avoiding Hiccup's gaze.

His friend smiled nonetheless. "Thanks, Snotlout. And just so you know, I'll listen too. I…I think we all would" he remarked.

Over the next few days, Hiccup and Toothless began to find a rhythm again. They would wake up, go for a morning flight like they'd always done, have breakfast, solve problems for their subjects and sometimes for the villagers as well. Afterwards they'd meet up with Astrid in the training ring, for Hiccup to practise self-defence. He knew what to do – it was a matter of actually doing it.

At first, Astrid held back for fear of spooking him, until Hiccup himself asked her not to. He didn't want to be treated differently. He wanted to get over this fear of being punished, and having to face the possibility of getting hurt – he was living amongst Vikings and dragons, for Moon's sake – was the only way to do that. She retorted that he ought to quit holding back as well, he wasn't going to hurt her even if his muscles had become a bit stronger.

At some point they sent word to Dagur and Heather, that Hiccup was in fact alive. The Berserker Chief and his sister flew straight to Berk upon hearing the news. They were thrilled to see him, and extremely sympathetic to his plight. Dagur regretted that he hadn't been there to "help Toothless tear that bastard to shreds", and Heather passionately declared that she would have cleaved the monsters in half if given the chance. In their own Berserker way, they cared.

On the surface, things were good…and yet the nightmares persisted. The same two – being violated, and Sigurd haunting him. Toothless did his best to comfort Hiccup, but the nightmares took their toll. Hiccup slept less, staying awake longer in the hopes of exhausting himself so much he wouldn't have a nightmare that night. He lost his appetite. He was more irritable. Melancholia had its claws in his mind again. After three weeks, Toothless had enough.

*You can tell your parents and friends you're okay all you want, but I know you're not. They know you're not. These nightmares are hurting you, Hiccup.*

"It's just bad dreams, Toothless. They'll go away on their own."

*It's almost been a moon-turn and they haven't gone away! Hiccup, we need to strengthen our mental bond. Then I could come into your dreams and stop you having nightmares. Can't you think of a way we could do that?*

Even though he knew ignoring the problem wouldn't solve anything, that didn't make it any easier to admit… "You're right. Let's…let's go see Fishlegs."

They found him on the beach with Meatlug, meditating. Well, he was meditating, she was having a nap. "Uh, Fishlegs? You got a minute?"

"Yeah, Hiccup? What's on your mind?"

"That's, err, sort of what I wanted to talk to you about…see, I know it's been two weeks since, y'know…" Hiccup ran a hand through his hair, glad that it had finally grown back some. "I thought I'd have gotten over it by now, but…I keep having nightmares. Toothless and I…we have this sort of, mental bond, that could help me with these bad dreams, but it's really weak. I was wondering…hoping…if you knew any way we could…make it stronger?"

Fishlegs' eyes were positively shining. "You want to meditate with me?!"

"Uh…will that help?"

"Yes! Maybe. I don't see why not. Meditating is a great way to clear your mind, deal with stress…it's how I deal with the twins and Snotlout, after all. In fact, this might stop you having nightmares full stop" Fishlegs said enthusiastically.

"That would be great" Hiccup admitted, "So, um, should I…close my eyes?"

"Hang on – okay, sit down facing me, and close your eyes. Take a deep breath in through your nose…and out through your mouth. That's it. Listen to the waves. Breathe in…breathe out. Your nightmares are being washed away. There's only you…and Toothless. Imagine being tied together with – with a thread. With an unbreakable cord, that can't be cut, not even with" –

"Uh, Fishlegs? You're kinda distracting me."

"…Oh. Sorry."

Hiccup took a deep breath and tried to meditate. Toothless came to sit behind him, so he could feel the dragon breathing. He tried to breathe with Toothless. To clear his mind and focus only on the heart bind. Only on their mental link. He could feel it, tickling at the back of his mind. Just a little more…a little more…he suddenly felt like he was falling, and jerked reflexively. "Augh!"

"What's wrong?"

"I was so close! I nearly connected, I'm sure I did, but then I just…ugh, I don't understand why this is so difficult. We've been in a shared mindscape…dream realm…whatever you wanna call it. I can't believe the only way to get there is for me to be bleeding out- pretend you didn't hear that."

Fishlegs blinked. "Um…aren't other dragons heart bound? Maybe they have some advice that would help" he suggested.

"We tried doing what they said, but it still didn't help much…see, mental links aren't supposed to be forced" Hiccup admitted, "they just sort of…form naturally between heart bound pairs. I'd much rather just let it happen, but I…I'm so sick of these nightmares! I don't know how to make them stop. What happened is in the past, so why can't I just get over it?" he lamented.

At first, Fishlegs hesitated. He didn't think he was cut out for this…shame on me. Hiccup's my friend, and he's hurting; I've gotta at least try to help him. "The thing is…I don't think this is something you can just 'get over'. The most you can do with bad experiences is learn from them and move forward" he tried to explain. It didn't sound as convincing when he said it out loud.

"Oh, I've learned from it alright. And I want to move forward, but…I keep having nightmares about Sigurd, you know, the guy they…" Hiccup swallowed hard and forced himself to continue. "People keep telling me what happened to him wasn't my fault, but…it was. He wouldn't have been killed if not for me. And I, I don't know – how can I forgive myself if I don't know if he would?" he asked helplessly, looking at Fishlegs as if begging him for answers that weren't there.

He sighed and slumped. "Toothless thinks I have a block. That what happened was so traumatising, my subconscious has closed off to protect itself."

"That makes sense. Trauma can do that to you…hey, Toothless? If this Alpha thing doesn't work out, you should consider becoming a therapy dragon."

Hiccup grinned a bit, amused in spite of himself. "He says he'll keep that in mind. So...do you think I can meditate this block away?"

Fishlegs bit his lip. "Well…I think, possibly, your problems are related. Maybe the reason you're having trouble connecting with Toothless is because whatever is giving you nightmares is also what's blocking you" he suggested.

"I never thought of that …Wait, but I if I need to connect with Toothless to stop the nightmares, and I have to stop the nightmares to connect with Toothless…"

"You just need to deal with whatever is giving you nightmares."

"Gee, when you put it like that it sounds simple" Hiccup said sarcastically. He didn't immediately flinch as if being struck, and felt proud of himself. Then he felt like an ass, because Fishlegs was trying to help. "Sorry. I didn't mean it like that, it's just…how can I deal with it? It's not like I can send a message to Valhalla, begging for Sigurd's forgiveness. Maybe he really is haunting me."

"I don't think that's true" Fishlegs said calmly. He wracked his brains for something that might help – at last, he hit on it. "Do you know what lucid dreaming is?"

"Isn't that where you know you're dreaming?"

"Yeah. Try this, okay – as you're falling asleep, repeat the words 'this is just a dream' over and over. Get that thought stuck in your head, and if you do have a nightmare, you'll still be thinking it. Then you realise you're dreaming, and you can…apologise, to Sigurd's ghost or whatever" Fishlegs shrugged. "That's the idea, anyway. Sorry, Hiccup. I wish I could be more helpful."

"Don't be sorry; you've helped plenty." Hiccup smiled at him, warm and genuine. "Thank you, Fishlegs. I really appreciate this. I'm gonna try it tonight. Who knows? Maybe this is just what I need."

Hiccup didn't manage to lucid dream, but meditating as he fell asleep did help, in a way. He had more nights of dreamless sleep, but the nightmares didn't go away. Toothless felt helpless. He wished he knew what to do or say to make Hiccup feel better, but all the reassurances in the world couldn't help. *You should talk to your parents* he insisted, but Hiccup couldn't bring himself to.

Still, bit by little bit, he felt like he was healing. The urge to say 'Yes, sir' to everything faded, as did his flinching for fear of being hit. Astrid was right; practicing self-defence and sparring like they used to did help him get more confident, as it felt like how things were. Fishlegs meditation advice helped him think more clearly, during the increasingly rare times something would trigger a flashback of his ordeal. He still hoped it would help him connect with Toothless.

As for the twins…they found the discovery that dragons could understand humans to be great material for pranks. Toothless-Hiccup weren't impressed when rumours started going around of blue oleander growing in the forest, and they tracked the source of the rumour back to Barf&Belch. *Sorry, Alphas. Our riders* - *Made us do it* the Zippleback apologised.

"Guys, you can't tell the dragons there's oleander on the island. Or dragon root, or grimora, or anything else! You're lucky there wasn't an island-wide panic…oh, who am I kidding? That's probably what you were hoping for" Hiccup realised.

"As servants of Loki, it is our solemn duty to cause mischief and chaos wherever and whenever possible" Ruffnut declared, sticking her nose in the air.

"Indeed, sister of mine. Oh, but now that we have the young Hiccup in our presence, do you think that perhaps it is time we made the request of him?"

"Request? What…"

"Certainly, brother of mine! Come, Hiccup – and Toothless, obviously. Step into our domain" Ruffnut invited, pushing open the door to their hut. Half curious, and half resisting a sudden, inexplicable urge to run in the opposite direction, Hiccup shrugged at Toothless and walked inside. Toothless followed, cautious.

"Uh, guys? What is this about?" Hiccup questioned, "What request?"

"We want to ask you something" explained Ruffnut.

"Something weird. Something disturbing. Something, something….Ow!" Tuffnut winced when his sister thwacked him upside the head.

"You're making it worse. Look, it's cool if you say no. We just think it might help" Ruffnut told Hiccup, but that just left him more confused.

Well then again, this is the twins we're talking about. "You think what might help?" he asked, just a little exasperated. He didn't have time for this…

Ruff and Tuff looked at each other; then in unison, and rather bluntly, inquired, "Can we see your scars?"

Hiccup balked. Of all the things he could have guessed, that was not one of them. "M-my what?"

"Your scars. Y'know, from when you were a T-H-R-A-Double L" Tuffnut specified, "Can we have a look?"

"Yeah! You said you got flogged, your back must be covered in them! I bet it looks so gruesome" Ruffnut grinned, eyes glittering with macabre delight.

Hiccup suddenly felt angry. "Is that it? Everything I went through, suffered, the marks they left on me – it's all just some game to you two? You just wanna use me to get a kick out of your weird fetish, like my feelings don't matter?!"

The burst of indignation faded as soon as he saw their expressions. They looked like kicked puppies, hurt and betrayed. Hiccup felt awful. "Oh, no…I'm sorry, guys. I didn't mean…I shouldn't have said that. I just…I don't get it. Why do you want to see the scars?" He should have asked that in the first place.

"We told you" Ruffnut insisted, voice small, "We thought it might help."

"We've all got scars, right, and the thing about scars is that they don't go away. You gotta learn to live with 'em" Tuffnut pointed out, "and we figured, you might feel bad about having scars from being a you-know-what, so we need to tell you how awesome they are" he explained.

*Did you understand any of that?*

"Let me get this straight" Hiccup said slowly, "You want to see the scars…so you can help me…accept them?" he asked, trying to wrap his head around the confusing world of Twin Logic. This seemed bizarre, even for them.

"Bingo! See, I told you he'd get it" Ruffnut smirked at her brother, before slumping in disappointment. "Oh, but you think it's weird…never mind…"

Hiccup sighed. He wasn't really sure about this, but the twins were trying to be supportive, in their own twisted, mixed up way. He could even sort of, vaguely, get where they were coming from. "You…you wouldn't tell anyone else about this, right?" he asked cautiously. That was the last thing he needed.

"No way, Jóse" Ruffnut announced, "Our lips are sealed. We won't tell, and we won't judge" she declared firmly, pretending to lock her lips.

"You have our solemn oath as members of the Nut family tree, that none will part these lips, before they have to crack our heads open, like nuts" Tuffnut declared firmly, as he and Ruffnut held their hands up.

Hiccup took a deep breath. "What do you think, Toothless?"

*They're your scars, Hiccup. Whether or not you show them is up to you.*

He supposed there was no real reason not to…he didn't feel entirely comfortable with the idea, but something about the twins made 'normal', 'proper' and 'acceptable' fly away in their presence. "I'm in" he said.

Tuffnut slipped past him to bar the door – "to keep out unexpected guests" – and Hiccup, with a lot of trepidation, bared the thin white scars on his forearms. The twins examined them; Ruffnut even pulled out a magnifying glass (where in Thor's name had she got that from?). "Fascinating. The thinness and straightness indicate a sharp point, whilst the slight jaggedness suggests some sort of lightly serrated blade was used" she remarked thoughtfully.

"Tell us, friend, who dared use such a weapon against you? Give us their name, and we will call on Loki himself to curse all of their descendants."

"…Okay, first, I don't want you to curse anyone. Second, I never learned their names, and third…it wasn't the hunters who did this. I…I did" Hiccup confessed, looking away in shame. Maybe this was a bad idea after all.

Ruff and Tuff glanced at each other. "Heh, heh…good one, Hiccup" Ruffnut laughed nervously, "You giving yourself scars…Wait, are you serious?" she asked. He looked up at them again and nodded slowly.

The twins actually looked worried now. "I know you think we're crazy, but that is a whole different kind of crazy. And not the fun, awesome kind either" said Tuffnut. "I mean, we hurt ourselves for fun all the time, but you…probably weren't doing that. Can we curse the descendants of whoever made you want to hurt yourself?" he asked, only somewhat hopefully.

Hiccup sighed. This felt familiar. "No curses" he repeated, before reluctantly explaining "I know it was wrong. I just couldn't stop myself. Toothless was in a coma, I was all alone…I just wanted to feel something. I just…wanted to feel in control." His breath caught in his chest, and he reached blindly for his other half, who came up to nuzzle him. *Breathe, love.*

"It's not wrong" said Ruffnut. "I mean, hurting yourself is wrong, especially if it's cos you're sad and 'melon-colic' or whatever Fishlegs said that time…but it doesn't mean you've done something wrong. You shouldn't feel guilty about it."

"And it makes sense why you'd do something like that, so you shouldn't feel ashamed about it either" Tuffnut insisted. "You, uh, wouldn't do it again, right?"

"No! No, I…Toothless snapped me out of it" Hiccup explained, stroking the dragon's head fondly. He swallowed. There were more scars on his back, but revealing them meant taking his tunic off. He could feel a flashback setting in as his nerves increased, and tried to breathe slowly, to focus on the feel of Toothless' scales beneath his hand. "Um, could you guys turn around, please?

They obliged. Quickly, before he lost his nerve, Hiccup shucked off his armour and tugged his tunic over his head, and turned his back on them. Toothless bit back a whine at the sight of the horrible, jagged, puckered scars that criss-crosses his beloved's back. He loved Hiccup, scars and all, but it still made him sad and angry to see them. "You can turn around now."

The twins whirled, and stared. "Oh. My. Thor. They look awesome!"

"Loki's balls, you have some epic scars to show off!"

Toothless grunted. *I swear, if these two were a Zippleback, their names would be Crazy&Loopy.*

Hiccup suppressed a snigger at Toothless' comment. Only the twins would call scars like that 'awesome' and 'epic'. "Are they really that bad?" he asked, figuring that in Twin World, 'bad' meant 'good'.

"Oh, they look terrible" Ruffnut assured him blithely. "If anyone asks you should tell 'em you got attacked by a Razorwhip. It's a lot more impressive."

Through their bond, Toothless felt Hiccup's emotions shift from nervous-ashamed to amused. He even smelled happier. As bizarre as it was, Ruff and Tuff actually did seem to be helping him deal with lingering shame over his scars. Hiccup turned to face them again. "I wish there was something I could do about this" he said ruefully, fingering the skin around the brand. "Drago is dead, but I still have his initials literally etched into my skin."

"Why don't you just get a tattoo? They're like brands, but with ink!"

"Yeah! You can disguise it and tell everyone the DB stands for Dragon Boy. I mean, they're just letters. Nobody's gonna know what it's supposed to mean."

"I can't believe I didn't think of that. Thanks, guys" Hiccup smiled, genuinely touched. Even if he had these scars from being enslaved, they didn't define him. "I really do feel better…but I'm gonna put my tunic back on. It's cold."

The twins let them out with entreaties to "come back anytime!" As he and Toothless caught up with things they'd missed whilst with his friends, Hiccup made a decision. It was time to tell his parents about being raped. Ruff and Tuff's unorthodox way of thinking spurred him to think outside the box, and he realised that the way to confess his secret had been obvious all along…

A/N: One more chapter to go ;)