Hey folks. There should be a couple of quick updates for this story over the next day or so. Trying to push it along to get to the next stage of the story but a few things need to be worked through to get it there, particularly where things are with Lauren and Bo. Thanks so much again for the comments and feedback. Sounds like people are swinging back to wanting a Doccubus fic...who knows. I'm still leaning to Copdoc. Enjoy.
Tamsin didn't need an extra invitation to stay, she'd been sleeping in her truck for the better part of a month. Sleeping. Drinking. Living in that truck. The idea of somewhere warm and clean to lay her head would have been appealing coming from the Morrigan at that point. But looking at Lauren's face as she appealed to her with tear filled eyes, there quite simply was never a decision to be made.
"Yeah of course Doc, I'll stay. Just point me in the direction of your booze stash and I'll get myself settled in". The Valkyrie was genuinely concerned that she would be unable to be any type of emotional crutch without a drink to help her along.
The request at least brought a weak smile to the Doctor's face. Pointing over towards the kitchen "there's some wine in the fridge and whiskey in the cupboard above".
"Options? How civilized" Tamsin quipped as she made her way to the kitchen.
Fixing herself a large pour of whiskey Tamsin looked over to the Doctor, "you're not going to make me drink alone are you Doc? I never drink alone". Both women laughed a little at the ridiculousness of the statement. "I better have a glass of wine then" Lauren smiled.
Tamsin sat herself down on the couch next to the Doctor handing over her glass of wine. "So what's going on Doc? You seem a little to low for someone that just avoided execution." She could see the Doctor struggling to decide how much to open up and for a moment Tamsin thought they would simply sit there silently drinking together. There was no doubt that she would be quite happy for the evening to play out that way.
But the words did come, in a trickle at first, slowly formed from a mind clearly unsure whether to allow a full release. Once they started the Doctor had trouble stopping the barrage of emotion that followed. Through weakened sobs Lauren explained to the Valkyrie how in the month since her rescue she had struggled to sleep; she didn't like what she saw when she closed her eyes. She shared the physical and emotional symptoms of a crippling anxiety that swept like tidal waves over her in moments alone. She explained to the Valkyrie the fear that gripped her when the sun went down, when she lay in bed waiting for the morning to come and how she was sure that every creak in the wooden floorboards of her home was an announcement of the return of that thing.
Tamsin said nothing. She simply listened to the woman, nodding occasionally in agreement as if to signal to Lauren that she too understood the trauma of what they both had endured. What they had witnessed each other endure.
For a moment they sat together in silence before Lauren, in an attempt to explain to the Valkyrie why she was was opening up to her began again, "I think the worst thing is that I can't tell Bo, or Hale, or Dyson or anyone else any of this because it means telling them everything else. I just don't think I can explain to them what happened there". The Valkyrie nodded once more, drinking down her whiskey, trying desperately to resist the urge to say something stupid like "harden up Doc" or "time to move on". But Tamsin didn't know how to provide comfort in words. She had no idea how to reassure the Doctor that it would all be ok, because she herself knew that sometimes the trauma of these things can take years...hundreds of years...to go away.
"I don't like making friends Doc"
"Wh...What?" Looking at Lauren's face, Tamsin could see that she was immediately questioning whether she made the right choice in opening up to the Valkyrie.
"What I mean is...I don't really let people in. I think it's because of the things I've seen. And done. So I just carry this shit alone..." Tamsin looked up from her drink and to the human. "…I don't like what goes on inside me a lot of the time. Maybe if I didn't spend an entire lifetime pushing people away I wouldn't be so fucked up". Standing up to grab the bottle of whiskey the Valkyrie took a swig directly from it before turning again to face the Doctor, "I guess that's similar to what's happening to you with your friends. Don't block them out. You don't want to end up like me". As if to illustrate her point Tamsin returned the bottle of whiskey to her mouth and devoured its remains.
Returning to couch next to the Doctor, the Valkyrie could sense the concerned look on Lauren's face but refused to return her gaze. Lifting up Lauren's half finished wine glass the Valkyrie spoke in a hushed and genuine tone, "I'll sleep on the couch, you should go to bed and try to get some rest. You have my word I will destroy anything that comes into this house". Turning towards the human and looking her dead in the eye the Valkyrie wanted Lauren to understand that while she didn't have words that could comfort her, she could still provide it to her in other ways, her way, "You're safe. I'll keep you safe". In that moment, looking back at Lauren the Valkryie could see that she believed her.
Lauren placed her hand on Tamsin's and held the woman's gaze for a moment. With emotionally laced sincerity Lauren whispered "thank you" before pulling herself up off the couch and slowly making her way to her bedroom, alighting the stairs with caution and control. Tamsin was of half a mind just to pick her up and carry her but sensed that the Doctor didn't need to feel anymore frail that she already did, so she let her go.
While the Doctor finally got a full night's rest, Tamsin, despite the relative luxury and warmth of her surrounds, spent the night trying to understand why it was this human brought out a range of feelings and emotions in her that she'd long thought locked away ...uuuurghhh, fucking feelings.
Lauren's bottle of wine was finished in no time at all.
In the morning as Lauren slowly made her way down the stairs she looked over to the couch and saw the Valkyrie half covered in a blanked, asleep and clutching an empty wine bottle. She made it to her kitchen without stirring her guest and decided it best to let her be a little while longer. She picked up the folder that Tamsin had brought with her the previous evening and began to flick through the pages. Blood work, lethal dose trials, toxicity reports all relating to Drakkon venom. Drakkon venom...Lauren's mind immediately went to the woods, to the Drakkon protector who had given the Tamsin that vile ultimatum and the Gram Sword. Lauren couldn't allow her guest the extra rest she clearly needed.
"Tamsin, wake up. Tamsin!"
Lifting her head over the couch.
"Just when I got to sleep Doc, what the.." looking at Lauren she noticed the files in her hand. "Oh, yeah, that's what I wanted to chat to you about"
"What is this, does this relate to the Drakkon in the woods?"
"It does. And Bo"
Confusion on her face Lauren looked again at the blood work in the files "these are Bo's samples?"
"Yup, I guess the rescue didn't completely go off without a hitch. The Succubus got bit by old snakeskin and no amount of healing is getting the venom out of her system."
Although she had called an end to their relationship and run away with the intention of never returning, thinking of Bo 'healing' with someone other than herself still sent a strong pang of regret into the pit of Lauren's stomach.
"You should have told me last night that this was about Bo"
Clearly perturbed by the comment Tamsin, looking slightly disheveled, stood to her feet, "oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize your crippling breakdown could be postponed".
Lauren looked at the Valkyrie clearly hurt, "Bo's a friend, sometimes its about putting others first".
"Look, when she heals she reduces the venom levels in her body but they slowly replenish. It's not life of death at the moment. You were going to be no use to anyone last night so I made a call not to push it. Shoot me".
Lauren didn't know what to say, how to respond. Why had Bo kept from her that she had been injured while rescuing her? The hours after the woods were a blur of hospitals and stressed voices. Lauren could remember very little of any of it, but it had now been a month, there had been opportunities to tell her.
"I need to see Bo, can you drive me?"
"urrrgh…any chance I can shower first?" Tamsin looked at the horrified look on the human's face "...fine, fine, let's go".
Arriving at the Crack Shack it took several minutes of banging on the door before Kenzi finally answered. "holy shitballs Doc, do you know what time it is?"
"It's after 9am Kenzi, it's hardly pre-dawn"
"Yeah, well that's easy to say for someone who wasn't drinking until pre-dawn, my body thinks it's the middle of the night", both Kenzi and Tamsin shared a knowing look "nice to have you back Tam Tam".
"Is Bo here, is she ok?" Lauren pressed
"ah…I see Slamsin here gave you the run down on Bobo's Snake Transmitted Disease"
"It's a toxin Kenzi, not a disease"
Kenzi threw open the door to her guests, "seesh Doc, you don't let details get in the way of a good STD joke. I guess this means you're feeling better".
"Who was at the door Kenz?" walking into the lounge in nothing but her kimono, Lauren felt a wave a relief when she saw the Succubus looked perfectly healthy…perfect.
"Lauren! Is everything ok?" the Succubus quickly made her way over to the Doctor picking up her good hand and looking deeply into her brown eyes. Watching as the Doctor's knees visibly went weak the Valkyrie simply rolled her eyes.
"I'm fine. It's you I'm worried about. You were bitten by that Drakkon? Why didn't you say something to me, I could have helped with the antivenin before now"
Looking over the Doctor's shoulder towards the Valkyrie the Succubus was clearly unhappy, "oh welcome back Tamsin, I see you're causing trouble already, we didn't need to get Lauren involved yet"
The Valkyrie, hungover and frustrated by the early morning accusations responded swiftly, "hey, don't look at me, it was Dyson that sent me to speak to the Doctor"
Bringing the Succubus's vision back to her Lauren pleaded, "Bo, you don't need to coddle me, I want to be useful again. I want to be useful to you". The words brought a smile onto the brunette's face but it was quickly lost to her when she heard another voice them in the room.
"Did I hear my name?" Entering the lounge shirtless and in nothing but his jeans the wolf was stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Tamsin and Lauren. Throwing a desperate glance towards Bo the wolf felt stranded and alone, "Lauren…hey".
Almost unconsciously the Doctor dropped the Succubus's hand. Bo looking away from the wolf and back towards Lauren's hurt filled eyes simply didn't know what to say.