I'm back! Thanks for the reviews and follows while I was away. I don't think I will have time to respond to each of you, but thanks for the support, the comments, and for sticking around. To the few of you out there, I don't hate Beckett at all. I really love the character, but it can't be rainbows and butterflies right now. She has to work her out of the mess she made, in my universe, and it won't/can't be done quickly. Anyways, enjoy!

A few hours passed uneventfully. She heard Castle and Martha talking for a while after they finished their lunch. Then it got quite… Castle needed as much rest as possible. She remembered how terrible it felt to always be stuck in the dream world though. Staying awake for more than a few hours at a time was pushing it, but she would always try to stretch it out a little longer. She would replay the shooting, the pain, the look in his eyes, the "I love you, Kate" over and over again. It was always slightly different each time, but just as real and terrifying as the previous ones. Plus, all the pain meds only amplified the dreams and emotions.

She wonders how Castle is doing. She was lucky to have him there with her when she thought her life was ending. Even if her love for Castle was still so foreign to her, masked, she knew enough that he was the one she'd want to see before it all ended. He made her feel safe and loved when the world around her was cold and deadly. Oh, Castle. He was so alone out there, for so long. She hopes he passed out from blood loss or shock so he didn't have to remember the hours out there in the park.

He is going to need to see someone as soon as he gets out of here. If she can't be the one to bring it up to him, then she will need to remember to tell Martha or Lanie. From personal experience, Kate learned that putting in the time with a shrink is effective. It's hard and uncomfortable, but with Dr. Burke's help she has become a more centered person. Speaking of… maybe she should revisit Dr. Burke sometime soon. She was smart enough now to realize when she starts to get out of control that she needed to see him. It wouldn't take a rocket scientist to see that Kate was starting to lose the little control she had left.

She heard a noise coming from Castle's room which broke her train of thought. She turned to see Martha heading out of the room.

"Katherine, dear, I need to take a break for a few minutes. Would you mind watching Richard for me?"

"Of course, take all the time you need."

"Thanks, I'll just be a few minutes."

So here, next to his bed, Kate finds herself once again. Staring at his face like she has seen him do thousands of times to her. Castle was always moving so much that it was hard to ever get a chance to stare at him. Plus, she couldn't let him know that she was admiring him. She would NEVER hear the end of it from him. So, when she would wake up before him on days they didn't have to go in to the precinct, she would lay awake memorizing all of the features on his face. She loved that quite time she had with him. Just looking at his ruggedly handsome features. It made her weak to think about how much she loved looking at him.

Now? Now she would let him see her starring, and she would even tell him what she was doing. Now she would gladly take the endless teasing from him. Now she just wishes she was allowed to be in the room for more than a 10 minute period between Martha's bathroom breaks.

As Kate is starring at his face, she could see his expression twist from peaceful to painful. She has seen this look before. This was his nightmare face. Guess she was right to assume his dreams were just as unpleasant as hers had been. Luckily, she had spent so many nights with Castle that she knew how to calm him from the fears he saw in his nightmares. Unlike her, he actually did better when he stayed asleep. Soothing him with her whispers and a light caress usually worked best for him. He needed to have the comfort in reality, physically reassured, but also needed to work the dream out in his head before he could wake up. She was the opposite. She needed to wake up immediately before it got worse.

As Kate is rubbing Castle's arm and leaning over the bed to whisper in his ear she heard a noise at the door. She looked towards the door, assuming it was Martha, to tell her about the nightmares and how to help him through it. Instead, she was met with a red- haired teenager. Alexis Castle did not look happy.

"Stop. Please, you need to stop and leave before he wakes up."

Alexis was shocked to see Kate and her dad so close when she arrived. She thought for sure Kate would've been tossed out long before she got there. If she hadn't been tossed out, then she was banking on her needing to leave to get back to work. Either way, she was not expecting Kate Beckett. She was definitely not expecting Kate Beckett to be so close to her father.

Kate replied quietly, "He was having a nightmare. Martha had to step out for a minute and asked me to come in until she got back. This isn't what it looks like."

"What the hell is it then, Agent Beckett?"

"It's just Kate, and I told you already. He was having a nightmare."

"Then wake him up! Don't just touch him when he isn't awake to fight you off. Why are you even here?"

"This the best way to help him when he has a nightmare. He told me that once. I won't leave, Alexis. I've already told your dad, your Gram, and the team. I am not running anymore. I'm here to fight for my relationship with your dad. I love him."

"Agent Beckett, I can't fight with you right now. I just need to be with my dad. When he wakes up, and if he asks you to leave I want you to go. Please. I've lost a part of my Dad because of you, and it's not fair for you to keep showing up like this. Don't you see what you have done?"

"I am well aware of the fact that I have ruined the best thing that has happened to me. I am aware of the fact that I left your father alone, and that because of my stupidity he is lying in a hospital bed from a gunshot wound. I take responsibility for it, and I want a chance to fix it."

"You don't get it. You can't fix this! It's done and over with. You being here doesn't help anyone besides yourself. You break things, Agent. You don't fix things. I can't lose any more of my dad to you."

"Beckett?" Castle murmured, "would you please step out of the room so I can see my daughter now? Thank you."

"Sure. Do you need anything?"

"Just Alexis" he replied.

"Ok. I'll be in the hall if you need anything at all. You too, Alexis. Anything. I love you." Kate decided earlier in the day she was going to work in an "I love you" into every conversation she has with Rick. She is going to repeat it and repeat it until he hopefully believes it. Showing him that she loves him has proven more difficult. She doesn't have much time with him, and the one request he's asked has been the one she can't obey. She won't leave. Not until all hope is lost.

"Daddy," Alexis whispered once Kate had left the room and closed the door.

"Alexis, I'm ok sweetheart. Come here?"

Alexis slowly approached the bed. He seemed to look mostly like himself. She could tell he was a little thinner, more pale than usual, but other than that he looked like her dad. She scanned his entire body with her eyes, trying to detect any significant wounds. She couldn't see the wound or the bandages so at first glance he seemed ok.

"How was the trip? I'm sorry it got cut short."

"I don't care about it. I care about you. How are you feeling? I was so scared…

"Hey. Alexis. Look at me. Do I look ok to you?"

She nods her head, unable to verbally respond because of the emotions she is experiencing.

"Then I need you to not worry ok? I'm here, I'm ok, and we are going to be ok. Got it?"

"I guess…"

"I know what you need. Come closer."

Alexis pressed up closer to the side of the bed. She was careful not to touch the bed, or any part of his body, because she was scared she would undoubtedly hurt him. She quirked her eyebrow at him in a silent question to his statement.

"You need a hug." Castle pulled his daughter on to the bed sideways, awkwardly, to hug her as tight as he could manage. It was selfish of him, but he needed her close to him. He had missed her so much. He thought a lot about her while he was "dying" and so he had been on edge until he could physically touch her to make sure she was ok.

Alexis felt so safe in her father's arms. Most people assume that Richard Castle is the playboy with no responsibility or care to the world. She has always just seen him as loving, doting Dad. He always had time for her. Cared about her stupid kid things. Went to her plays and school events. He was more present than any other parent she knew of. Richard Castle was her hero, her best friend.

After a while of both Castle's reassuring themselves that the other one was alive and ok he finally let her sit up, but not move from the bed or his grasp.

"I heard you talking with Beckett," he finally said.

"Dad. What is she doing here?"

"I'm not sure really. She says she quit her job, is back for good. She wants me back, Alexis. I'm pretty sure she isn't going to leave this hospital until I do."

Alexis was silent too long.

"What's up, Pumpkin?"

"I just… I don't know why you haven't kicked her out yet, Dad. I mean, she practically killed you when she left and yet she is in here holding your hand, rubbing your arm, and whispering to you when I walked in. Are you guys back together?"

"She was? I didn't even know she was in here… Your Gram was here before I fell asleep."

"So you are back together then?"

"No. Absolutely not."

"Then why haven't you kicked her out yet?"

Castle sighed. He had been trying to figure this one out himself. He was so mad at her, is so mad at her. However, unfortunately Kate does make him feel…safe? Better? Secure? He can't quite let that go after not having it for so long. It's nice that she is here without being here. How can he explain that without being admitted to the psych ward?

"I… I don't know."

"Dad, I know you are an adult. But please, before you rush into anything, think about what the past 4 months were like. She broke you and left you to find the pieces. I can't… I just… please. Be careful."

"I will sweetie, don't worry about it ok? I'm not getting back together with Beckett."

With that, he pulled her down next to him, hugging her into his side. It hurt, but it was a reminder that he was alive and he has his little girl back.

To Be Continued