I own none of the characters of October Road
Eddie rolled onto his back and slowly sat up. The more slowly he sat up the less of a chance he had of vomiting. He was now at the point in his illness that if he moved to quickly he became dizzy followed by vomiting. Once his stomach settled he removed the tape from his right eye so he could see with both eyes instead of one. Over the past three days his next symptom developed; his right eye wouldn't stay closed so that's where the tape came in. Whenever he wanted to sleep Janet had to tape his eye shut. Once the tape was off he rubbed his eye and blinked a few times and he was able to see. Yanking back the blankets he swung his feet over to the side of the bed. The second he stood and placed his weight on his legs he crashed to the floor.
Downstairs Janet was writing checks for their bills when she heard a thump above her, coming from their bedroom. Dropping her pen, she pushed back from the desk and ran up the stairs, yelling for her mom as she went. "Eddie." She cried when she opened the door and saw her husband lying on the floor, groaning in pain. "Baby, what happened?"
"My…legs…tried to get…fell…not hold…me." He was scared and began to cry. "Can't…walk"
"Janet what happened?" Sharon asked when she burst into the room carrying Jacob in her arms.
"He fell. He can't walk." Amazingly Janet was holding it together. She wanted to cry but she held back for Eddie's sake. "Can you help me get him back in bed?"
"Of course." Sharon set Jacob on the floor and then together, they awkwardly lifted Eddie back onto the bed. Even though he lost a lot weight he was still heavy for the two of them but they managed to get him back on the bed.
"How's that sweetheart?" Janet asked, straightening the blankets. As she was covering him up again she noticed that his pajama pants were soaking wet and there was a strong urine smell. "Oh baby. Your bag broke." A few weeks ago Eddie began to lose control of his bladder so now he had a catheter in that was attached to a bag that collected the urine. Janet saw Eddie glance at Sharon out of the corner of his eye. "I'll be right back hon."
Janet motioned her mom to follow her out of the bedroom and they walked downstairs. "Mom can you call the visiting nurse and see if his nurse can come by earlier to replace his catheter?" Janet asked as she went to the kitchen and filled a bowl with warm water so she could clean Eddie up.
"Of course I will. Can I do anything else?"
"You're doing it just by being here and helping me with Jake."
Once the bowl was full Janet returned upstairs and grabbed a washcloth from the hallway closet before returning to their room. "Hey babe. I'm back." She walked over and set the bowl down on the nightstand. "I'm going to grab the soap and then we'll get you all cleaned up."
"No." He told her.
"I'm promise that the water will be warm."
"I…say…no." It was becoming harder for him to speak anymore.
"You can't sit around in your urine."
"Wait…nurse."
"Mom is calling the service but I don't know when she will be here. You can't wait until then."
"Not…baby. No treat…like…it." Janet could see the humiliation in his eyes.
"I know that you aren't a baby and I'm not treating you like one." Janet placed the bowl on the bed beside him. "Clean yourself up if you want but I'll be here to help."
"I…NOOOO." He roared weakly. Using his right arm, which was stronger then his left, he hit the bowl with all of his strength sending the water onto Janet.
"EDDIE! That was uncalled for."
"Get…gone…Go…"
"Babe please…" He grabbed one of the pillows on the bed and threw it at her.
"Leave…alone…me."
"Fine. Yell if you change your mind or if you need anything." He sat on the bed, fuming and ignoring her. She leaned down and gently kissed his cheek. "I love you Eddie." When he didn't respond she left him alone and as the door shut she heard him crying.
Once she was downstairs she picked Jacob up out of his swing and held her son close to her chest for comfort. Right now he was the closest thing that she had to Eddie right now. "Janet, sweetheart what's wrong?" Sharon asked when she walked into the living room and saw her daughter on the couch with Jacob and tears rolling down her face.
"He's angry and embarrassed. He won't let me clean him up. In fact he threw the bowl of water at me so right now he upstairs sitting in his own piss being stubborn." Janet answered miserably.
"From the short amount of time that I have known your husband I can tell that he is a very prideful man and he gets embarrassed when he feels less like a man."
"I can't understand. I'm his wife. I've seen him naked. I've seen him pee and take a shit. Why won't he let me help him?"
"Give him some time to let what is happening to him sink in and then I'm sure he will let you help him."
"Did you get a hold of the nursing service?"
"Yes. I told them what happened and they are going to send someone over as soon as they can but they couldn't give me a time. Oh and they are bringing a wheelchair."
"Thanks mom." Jacob began to squirm in his mother's arms. "When was his last bottle?"
"When he woke up."
"Are you hungry baby boy? Let's get you your mid-morning snack" Janet carried him into the kitchen, placed him in his highchair and then warmed him up a jar of baby food. "Wow you must have been starving." Jacob was putting away his carrots.
"Knock, knock anyone home?" Jack Latekka's voice rang through the house.
"Come on in. We're in the kitchen." Janet called to his father in law. Jacob giggled when he saw his grandfather.
"Hey little man. You are a mess." He leaned down and kissed his head and then he did the same to Janet. "Hey sweetheart. Are you dong okay?"
"I've been better."
"Eddie?" Jack asked softly and Janet nodded. "What happened?"
"He can't walk. His legs aren't strong enough to hold him anymore."
"Is he upstairs?" Again, she nodded. "I'm going to go check on him."
"Thanks." Janet whispered as Jack walked out of the kitchen.
Jack walked into his son's bedroom without even knocking and the first thing he noticed was an empty bowl on the floor followed by the strong smell of urine. He saw his son sitting on the bed staring at the television, looking miserable. "Heard you had a rough day." Jack said as he sat on the end of the bed.
"Janet…should not…call…you."
"She didn't son. I was in the neighborhood so I stopped to see how you were. From what I can tell you aren't doing to hot. What's going on Eddie?"
"Can't…walk…legs...not..."Jack saw the look of frustration pass over his face as he tried to come up with the word he wanted to say but couldn't. "Can't…walk…" He said miserably.
"I'm sorry son." Jack whispered.
"No…sorry." Eddie said with a small smile.
"I understand. So can you tell me why in the hell does it smell like a urinal up here?"
"Fell…piss bag…broke…catheter…falled…out."
"Why didn't you tell Janet?"
"She…knew."
"I don't understand." Jack stood and pulled the blankets down and saw that Eddie was sitting in his own urine. "Why the hell are you still sitting in you're wet clothes?"
"I…say…no. Not…baby."
"Eddie…"
"Change…Jacob…he's…a…baby…not…me."
"Everyone knows that you aren't a baby. Letting Janet clean you up doesn't make you a baby. "
"Don't…want…wife…clean…piss."
"Stop being so damn stubborn."
"Not…stubborn. Embarrassed."
"Oh Eddie, there is no reason to be embarrassed."
"Grown…man."
"You're a grown man who needs help Eddie. There is no shame in that."
"Feel…" Eddie sighed. "Feel…DAMMIT…" He yelled in frustration.
"It's okay son. Let me and Janet help you. Let's get you cleaned up. I'll take you to the bathroom and get you a shower."
"No…see me…naked."
"I'm your dad and a man. We've got the same parts."
"Please." Eddie begged with tears in his eyes. "Bad…enough…Janet has…to see…me…to…clean…up…me." A lonely tear slid down his cheek.
"I understand. I'll get you to the shower, fully clothed and then Janet can help you undress. Will that work?" Eddie nodded. "Okay. Here we go." Jack leaned down. "Put your arm around my neck." Eddie did as his father asked. "Okay, here we go." Jack placed his hands under Eddie's thighs and effortlessly lifted him up. Jack couldn't believe how light Eddie was. He had to fight to keep from crying. He couldn't let his boy see what this was doing to him. "I'm going to go get Janet now to help you." Jack said when he placed Eddie on the shower bench that Janet had put in the bathtub. With a smile Jack headed out of the bathroom.
"Dad." Jack turned around. "Thanks."
"I'm your dad. It's what I'm here for."
A few minutes later Janet came into the bathroom and found Eddie struggling on the bench in an attempt to get his pajama pants off. She wanted to help him but she was afraid that it would piss him off so she just smiled at him and then turned on the water in the tub, trying to get it the right temperature. "Janet...help…please…pants."
"Sure thing baby." Janet removed her socks and then stepped into the tub, in front of Eddie. "Place your arms around my neck and hold on. I'm going to lift your butt up and pull your pants down." She knelt down and Eddie wrapped his arms around her neck. Using her upper body, on the count of three she lifted him up and quickly yanked his pants and boxers down. When Janet sat him back down, she kneeled down pulled them rest of the way down. Once they were off she got back out of the tub, pulled the shower head down and handed it to him. "I'll be in the bedroom. Yell if you need anything."
Taking Eddie's pajamas she went to their bedroom and removed the sheets and blankets from the bed and made a pile of the dirty linens and Eddie's pajamas to wash. Grabbing the sponge out of the bowl of soapy water and scrubbed the mattress until she heard Eddie yelling for her. "Honey?" She asked when she returned to the bathroom.
"Dropped…shower. Help…please."
"Of course." She reached into the tub and handed the head back to Eddie. She watched as he struggled to hold the shower head, the washcloth and try to wash himself at the same time. He looked up at Janet with desperation in his eyes.
"Can't…help."
"Of course I'll help." Janet went and shut the bathroom door and then returned to Eddie. She took the showerhead out of his hands and used it to wet him down. When she reached for the washcloth he reached out and grabbed his hand.
"Come…in…with…me."
"Eddie I…"
"Please…want to…see…you." Janet felt tears fill her eyes. It had been so long since Eddie had expressed any desire to be intimate. She missed his gentle touch and the look of desire in his eyes, which she was seeing know. "Please baby…Can…I…see?"
Never taking her eyes away from Eddie's she slowly removed her clothes and then she stepped into the tub with Eddie. "So…beautiful." He took the showerhead and aimed it towards Janet, getting her wet. "Touch?"
"Please." Janet moaned softly. With a smile Edie reached out and cupped one of her breasts with one hand, squeezing her nipple gently while the other hand rand down the side of her body, softly caressing her. Eddie pulled Janet towards him and placed the breast in his mouth while his other hand made its way to her ass. A quiet moan escaped Janet's mouth as she ran her fingers through his wet hair.
"Miss…you…this." He mumbled.
"Me too baby. I've missed this so much." Eddie awkwardly lifted one of Janet's legs and placed it on the tub. Then very slowly he ran his hand up her leg to her hot, wet center. "Eddie." She gasped when he inserted two fingers inside of her. "Oh baby." She moaned. The penetration was so much different then it was before. Due to the weakness in his hands his fingers moved slowly inside of her instead of the normal fast pace he usually sets. She groaned when his thumb began to circle her clit and his tongue licked her breasts. "Yes baby. Oh yes." She moaned. She closed her eyes, threw her head back and enjoyed the feeling of Eddie's hands on and in her body. "Oh baby. I'm going cum." She breathed when she felt the muscles in her abdomen tightening. When she opened her eyes to look at the man whom she loved more than anything she saw that his eyes were full of love and he was wearing the sweetest smile and that was all it took to send her over the edge. With a deep groan she gushed her womanly essence on his hand. "Thank you sweetheart. Thank you so much." She whispered as she came down from her sexual high and settled on his lap, thankful that bench she bought can hold hp to five hundred pounds.
"Sorry…not…do…more." He whispered sadly.
"Don't be sorry. Never be sorry. That was wonderful and just what I needed." Janet reassured him but it didn't work. Tears fell from his eyes.
"Deserve…you…deserve…more."
"Shhh. Don't think that way." She gently wiped his tears. "I have you and Jake and that's all I ever wanted."
"Janet…I…I…lo…lo…SHIT. I…can't…say…it." More tears fell from his eyes. He desperately wanted to tell his wife that he loved her but he couldn't make his mouth say it.
"I don't need the words to know how you feel. I see your feelings every time that you look at me."
"But…" Janet placed her index finger over his lips.
"No buts baby." Janet replaced her finger with her lips and they kissed gently until there was a knock on the bathroom door. "Yeah?" Janet called
"The nurse is here honey." Sharon called back.
"Thanks mom. We'll be done in a few." Janet started to get up but Eddie weakly held on to her.
"No. Stay…kiss…few…minute." He asked.
"Now how can a girl say no to that?" With a smile Janet leaned forward and pressed her lips to his and they shared a passionate kiss until they were both breathless.
"I…Janet…I…"
"I know baby, I know. I love you too." Janet reluctantly pulled herself off of Eddie's lap and quickly rinsed the soap off of her and Eddie, drenched his head with water, dumped some shampoo on his head and washed his hair.
"Feel…bad." Janet smiled to herself as she rinsed his head. Besides having trouble speaking and not being able to get some of his words out he often confused his words. She knew when he said that it felt bad what he thought he said was it felt good.
Stepping out of the tub Janet grabbed two towels and tossed one to Eddie so he could dry off as she dried herself off. Once she was dry she quickly put her clothes back on, threw her hair up in a sloppy ponytail and went to get some fresh underwear and pajamas for Eddie. "Put your tee shirt on and I'll get your pants and underwear." Janet instructed as she tossed him the shirt.
"Thank…you…care…of…me." Janet just nodded, avoiding his eyes so he wouldn't see the tears that were in hers. "Sorry…I…was…an…hole…ass…"
"I understand and it's okay."
"Just…emb…em…felt…stupid."
"It's me. There is no reason to feel embarrassed." She smiled softly at him. "Okay baby, arms around my neck so I can pull your pants up." Eddie didn't answer her. He just wrapped his arms around her neck and just like when she pulled them down she lifted his butt off of the bench and yanked his pants on. "I'm going to get your dad to carry you downstairs. Is that okay?"
"Don't…want…carry."
"I know sweetheart but it's the only way to get you downstairs."
"I…stay…up."
"I want you downstairs with me and Jacob. Mom made up the sofa bed for you so please baby come downstairs and be with your family."
"Make…you…happy?"
"It will make me very happy."
"Sleep…here…night?"
"I'll be sleeping on the couch with you."
"Get…dad."
"Thank you baby." Janet quickly walked out of the bathroom wiping her tears as she went. Everyday that she woke up and saw that Eddie was still alive she was so thankful but spending everyday, watching him die in front of her eyes was tearing her apart. "Sorry to keep you waiting." Janet said to the nurse when she got downstairs.
"No problem."
"Jack do you mind bringing Eddie downstairs? He's dressed but still in the shower."
"No problem."
"So Janet, I spoke with your mom and she said that Eddie couldn't walk. Do you know what happened?" Liz, the nurse asked.
"As you know, he's legs have been growing increasingly weak but he has been able to get around slowly with his walker but today I was down here when I heard him fall. When I found him he told me that his legs couldn't or wouldn't hold him. I guess when he fell he pulled his catheter out and his urine bag broke."
"How is his pain level today?"
"I honestly don't know. I haven't talked to him about it today. It's been a rough couple of hours."
"I understand."
"Coming through." Jack called walking into the living room with Eddie in his arms. Janet had to turn away so Eddie wouldn't see the pain on her face.
"Can Eddie, Janet and I have some privacy please?" Liz asked.
"Sure thing." Sharon said and her and Jack walked into the kitchen.
"Okay Eddie, I'm going to do a quick exam." He nodded and Liz began to check him out. "Things don't look bad. I'm going to put in another catheter and it's probably going to hurt so just bear with me." Janet sat on the sofa bed next to Eddie and took his hand. He groaned and squeezed her hand as Liz put the catheter in. "Almost done. Hang in there Eddie."
"Hurts."
"I know baby but you are doing so good. You are so brave."
"SON…BITCH." He yelled as tears fell from his eyes.
"There. We're all done. I need you to breathe now Eddie. Take a few deep breaths." Eddie did as she asked and he quickly calmed down. After a few minutes of checking his urine, Liz spoke again. "My biggest concern right now is that there is some blood in your urine but it's probably from some irritation when the catheter was yanked out during your fall. I'm going to keep an eye on it. Now how are you feeling? What is your pain level?"
"Seven, seven and a half."
"What's hurts?"
"Everything."
"I'm going to up your Morphine. It will help with the pain but it will make you very sleepy. Are you okay with that?" Liz asked him.
"Don't…hurt." Liz looked at Janet.
"He wants the shot. He doesn't want to hurt anymore." Janet translated.
"Is that what you want Eddie, the shot?" He nodded. "Okay, I'll give you the shot. "
Fifteen minutes later Eddie had his shot, his eye was taped shut and he was sleeping soundly and Liz had just packed up all of her supplies. "Liz, can I speak with you in private?" Janet asked the nurse.
"Walk me to my car." Janet grabbed a bag and followed Liz outside. "How can I help you?"
"How bad is it? How much time is left?" Janet asked tearfully.
"Honestly?" Janet nodded. "A few more weeks, maybe a month at the most but it's highly unlikely that he'll make it that long."
"Are you just giving me the worst case scenario?"
"No. I'm giving you reality. Everyday, another major body function quits. Your husband is in a lot of pain, constantly. The shots that I'm giving him aren't going to last more than at a few hours at a time so between the time that the shot wears off and the time that I give him a second shot in the evening he's going to be in a lot of pain."
"Can't you give him a stronger dose of Morphine at a time?"
"His blood pressure is too low. I gave him the strongest dose possible that his body can tolerate. I know that you and Eddie decided on going to the Hospice center at the end. Janet, the end is here and I think that it's time that he gets moved."
"I can take care of him."
"Of course you can but Hospice can make sure that Eddie gets more medication and he is comfortable. You don't want Eddie's last few weeks to be full of pain do you?"
"Of course not."
"Then make the move. Hospice can keep him comfortable at the end." Liz told her softly.
"Thank you for your honesty."
"Call me if you need anything before I come back."
When Liz pulled out of the driveway Janet was back on the porch, sitting on the swing, sobbing quietly. Sharon came out, sat next to her and pulled her daughter to her chest. Once in her mother's arms Janet broke down, clung to her mother and cried her heart out. "What is it Janet?" Sharon asked when Janet calmed down.
"Liz thinks that Eddie needs to go to Hospice."
"Maybe she's right."
"She's saying that he only has a few weeks left."
"And you're afraid that if he goes to Hospice that you are giving him permission to die." Janet nodded. "He's going to die with or without Hospice but by putting him in Hospice you are making the end more tolerable, more comfortable for him and that's what you want isn't it honey?"
"I don't want him to die." Janet cried out and Sharon just looked at her. "You're right." Janet sniffed. "I want him to be comfortable, not miserable. I'll talk to him later tonight."
--
Janet had just dozed off when she felt movement beside her. Thinking it was Jacob, trying to get comfortable, she immediately opened her eyes and looked at her son but she saw that he was sleeping peacefully. Raising her eyes she was Eddie was awake and watching Jacob. Janet reached across the baby and linked her hand with Eddie's.
"Why…baby…here?"
"I just wanted him close to us tonight."
"What…wrong?"
"You know me so well."
"Tell…"
"Baby, Liz thinks that it's time to go to Hospice. She says that they can make you comfortable so you won't be in so much pain." Even though she wanted to cry, she held it back. She didn't want to make it any harder for Eddie then it had to be.
"I…so…tired…hurt…bad…all the…hour…Don't…want…hurt…no…more."
"You wanna go?"
"You…with…me?"
"Of course. I won't leave your side."
"Go."
"I'll make the calls tomorrow." Janet told him sadly. "Get some sleep baby. I love you." Janet said when she saw him yawn.
"Me…too." Janet pulled herself up on her elbow and kissed him softly.
The next morning when Janet woke up Eddie was lying on his side with an arm slung around her and his head was touching hers. She didn't dare move or even breathe too loudly because she wanted this moment, wrapped safely in his arms to last as long as it could because she knew this would be the last morning that they would wake up together in the same bed and she wanted to remember this feeling forever but unfortunately Jacob wasn't aware of her plans because he started to stir. "Morning baby. Did you sleep well?" Jacob just cooed and smiled at her. He was such a morning baby. He never cried when he woke up. He just laid in his crib cooing until someone went and picked him up. "Did daddy's snoring keep you awake?"
"No…snore." Eddie mumbled through closed eyes and Janet giggled.
"Morning baby. How are you feeling?"
"Fine."
"Liar." Janet could see the pain all over his face.
"Feed…Jake?"
"No. He hasn't had his morning bottle yet."
"Me…feed…Jake…one…time…last."
"I'll get his bottle." Janet climbed off of the sofa bed, slipped on her robe and went to the kitchen to make Jacob's bottle. "Hey mom." Janet greeted when she got to the kitchen.
"Good morning. How are things?"
"Eddie wants to feed Jacob." Janet answered as she defrosted some breast milk. "One last time." She added in a whisper.
"You can't think like that."
"I'm not the one who said it. Eddie did but its true mom. He's going to the Hospice Care Center today and that means the end is here. He probably never feed Jacob again." Janet nervously filled the bottle and put it in the microwave. "Today was the probably the last time that we will ever wake up together in the same bed. Last night was probably the last night that we will sleep together in the same bed. I'll never wake up in his arms again mom." Sharon took Janet in her arms and held her tightly as Janet cried in her mother's shoulder so she could muffle the sound. She didn't want Eddie to hear her.
"I'm not going to say that everything that will be okay because it won't be. You're husband is dying and right now there is no worse pain to be experienced but you're doing the right thing honey. You are making Eddie's last few days as comfortable as possible. You're doing what is best for both of you."
"How is it the best for me?" Janet sniffed as she calmed herself down.
"It would tear you apart, maybe even destroy you to see your husband in severe pain."
"Thanks mom." Janet said as she pulled the bottle out of the microwave. "We're going to feed Jake and then I'll make the calls."
"How about you just spend time with your husband and son and I'll make the calls." Janet nodded, took a deep breath and returned to the living room.
"You…cry." Eddie observed softly as Janet settled herself back on the sofa bed.
"I'm fine." Janet handed the bottle to Eddie and he awkwardly placed it in Jacob's mouth. Jacob was now old enough to hold the bottle on his on but this time, Eddie was the one holding the bottle and Jacob helped him out.
"No…liar…at…me."
"Don't worry about me."
"So…sad."
"Yeah baby, I'm sad."
"Sorry…Ja…Ja..." Suddenly tears filled his eyes. He let go of the bottle and rolled away from her and Jacob. Janet hollered for her mom who came in and took the baby to finish feeding him. Janet then scooted over next to Eddie, laid down behind him, placing her head on his shoulder and she reached around his thin body until she found his hand.
"Baby, it's okay."
"I…not…remember…how…say…you…name." He sobbed.
"It doesn't matter to me. I know you know who I am. I know that you know that I love you so much and that's all that matters to me."
"I…sorry…leaving…don't…want…love…so…much." He cried.
"Shhh. Don't upset yourself."
"Hate…this…"
"So do I."
"Don't…want…die…hurt…all…time…want…pain…stop…"
"I don't want you to hurt anymore either. That's why we're going to Hospice. They'll give you medicine to take away your pain." She kissed his bare shoulder.
"Hold…me"
"As long as you need me to." Janet tightened her grip around his husband.
"Don't…let…go."
"Never." She whispered, burying her face in his shoulder. "Never, ever will I let you go."
--
That same afternoon an ambulance came and took Eddie to the Hospice Care Center and that began the horrible process of saying goodbye to a wonderful man. Sharon stayed at Janet and Eddie's home with Jacob, only bringing him to the center once a day for a few hours at a time because the small room that was always full with Eddie's family and friends was not a great place for a seven month old baby that wanted to explore. In fact, the only time the room was almost empty was a night when Janet could be found sleeping on a recliner next to Eddie's bed holding his hand.
The first week that Eddie was there all of his best friends came and spent hours talking, reminiscing about the past. Eddie extracted promises from the men he trusted most to take care of his family, be the father to Jacob that he can't be and most importantly they promised to make sure that the man that Janet fell in love with after he was gone is a good man, treats her and Jacob right and that he loves her for who she is. The worst part was when they all said their goodbyes to their very best friend. It was the hardest thing that any of them ever had to do. Janet always gave them privacy and waited out in the hall but when Owen came out sobbing and he took Janet in his arms while his body shook with heartache, Janet cried right along with him.
By the time the second week approached Eddie was barely conscious. He was constantly in so much pain that the nurses had him pretty well sedated. Janet only left his side long enough to shower in the attached bathroom. She was terrified that if she left him for just one minute that minute is when he would die and she hasn't said her goodbyes yet. Even though she knew that his death was inevitable, there was a part of her that thought that if she didn't say goodbye then he wouldn't die.
"Is he in a lot of pain?" Janet asked the nurse late on night when she came in to give him another dose of pain medication.
"Yes I believe that he is in a lot of pain."
"Can't you do anything else?"
"We are doing all we can for him." Janet sighed and squeezed Eddie's hand. "Can I be honest with you Mrs. Latekka?"
"Please."
"He is ready to go. I believe that he is just hanging on for you to tell him that it's okay to let go, that you are okay for him to go."
"But I'm not. I'll never be ready for him to go."
"I understand that but do you really want him here with you like this?"
"Thank you for your candor." The nurse patted Janet on the shoulder and left her and Eddie alone. An hour later as she was sitting next to him watching him sleep when he moaned and she knew it was time, time to let go.
"My sweet, sweet Eddie, I love you so much. Words can't express how I feel for you, how much I love you. I know that we didn't have as much time together as we wanted, hell forever wouldn't have been long enough but Eddie, these past 2 years that we have had together have been the best of my life." Janet stopped to take a deep breath. "I have never felt as loved as I did when we were together. Thank you for loving me, for giving me Jacob, a part of you that will be here with me. I'm going to miss you so damn much. My heart hurts at the thought of you not being here anymore but I know that you are ready to go. You have fought such a long, hard battle so baby it's time for you to rest now. Just know that I will love you forever. Every time that I look at our son I will see you. Rest now, my sweet man." Janet laid her head on his chest and cried until she felt his hand in her hair a few minutes later. She immediately stopped crying. "Eddie?"
"Janet, I love you too." He whispered and Janet was momentarily speechless. His speech was perfect. "You said I've made you happy but you have made me just as happy. I'm thankful that you have been with me."
"I wouldn't have been anywhere else."
"I haven't accomplished much in my life. I've made a lot of bad choices but the best choice I made was falling in love with you. You and Jacob are the best things that I have done. I only have two regrets Janet. One is the fact that I will not see Jacob grow into a man and second is the fact that I won't grow old with you. We didn't have enough time but the time we had was amazing wasn't it?" Janet just nodded. "It was a hell of a ride. Promise me something."
"Anything." Janet answered in a choked voice.
"Don't let Jacob forget me."
"I won't. I promise." Eddie weakly reached up, placed his hand behind her neck and pulled her down for a soft kiss.
"Janet, I'm so tired." She knew what he was saying. He was ready to go.
"I understand. Go ahead and rest."
"I'll always be watching."
"You better." It was no use to try and hide her tears. They flowed freely.
"When the sun is shining, know that's me smiling at you and when it's raining, those drops are my tears because I miss you."
"I'll miss you, everyday."
"I…need…sleep…tired." His scattered speech had returned.
"I love you."
"Love…so…much." He closed his eyes and Janet kissed his still lips.
Never taking her eyes off of him Janet held his hand and whispered words of love until he took his last breath and slipped out of this world, taking her heart with him twenty two minutes later.
--
"Come on honey. Open your eyes." Eddie pried his eyes opened.
"Mom?"
"You're awake." Laura stated the obvious. Eddie looked around his hospital room and saw his dad and Katie next to his bed but one very important person was missing.
"Janet?" He croaked out.
"She went to grab some coffee. She'll be back any minute. She hasn't left your side since you came out of surgery."
"How long was I out?"
"A week. Dr. Turner put you in a medicated coma until the swelling in your brain went down." Laura leaned down kissed his bandaged head. Just then the door opened and Janet walked in with four cups of coffee. Her eyes went directly to Eddie and a huge smile crossed her face. Eddie opened his arms, she set the box down that held the coffee on the window sill and rushed into his waiting arms, hugging him tightly. Eddie unabashedly let his tears fall as he held her tightly.
"I'll go have Dr. Turner paged." Jack said slipping out of the room.
Eddie and Janet didn't say a word. They just held each other. Eddie couldn't get his dream of their life together as he was dying out of his mind and Janet was just enjoying the feeling of his fingers running through her curls.
"Eddie, how are you feeling?" Dr. Turner asked when he walked in Eddie's room ten minutes later and that's when Janet and Eddie finally broke their embrace. Janet stood next to his bed, clutching his hand.
"Like my skull was split open with a hammer."
"Close but we didn't use a hammer."
"So is it cancer?" Eddie asked, jumping right in. He needed to know if his dream was going to come true.
"The tumor was about the size of a baseball. It was pressing against your skull and cranial nerves which caused your headaches."
"Yeah, you explained that to me before the surgery. What I need to know is if I have cancer." Dr. Turner smiled softly at his newest patient.
"The tumor was benign." Eddie looked confused. "It was negative for cancer Eddie."
"Are you sure?" Katie asked
"Absolutely. There were no cancer cells at all in the tumor or anywhere in the surrounding brain tissue."
"Really? That's it? Just like that?"
"Just like that. I'm going to suggest for the next five years that you have a M.R.I. every six months to make sure that another tumor doesn't appear."
"Is that a possibility?" Laura asked.
"A small one and that's why I want to continue to watch but as of right now you do not have cancer and in about six weeks you will be back to living your normal life."
Due to popular demand Eddie Latekka lives. I hope you enjoyed the twist. Thanks for reading.