I own none of the characters of October Road
The first year of Eddie and Janet's marriage was practically perfect. Like any married couple, they had some fights but they also made up. They took Eddie's parents' advice and they made time for themselves, they made time for each other and during their time together they had lots of sex. Eddie had always been a hard worker but since his marriage he had worked harder then he ever had before. He wanted to give Janet nice things, take her to wonderful places and eventually buy a nice big house for the children that they were going to have.
Eddie made Janet come up with a list like his, a list of things that she wanted to do before she died. They both knew or hoped that it would be years before that happened but now, because of Eddie's tumor, they both realized that death can occur at anytime and Eddie didn't want to wait to wait until the last minute so they decided to tackle each of their lists when they had time and money. So far they made the trip to D.C. from Eddie's list and they traveled to New York City to see Hairspray, a Broadway show from Janet's list.
During their first year of marriage, Nick and Hannah got married and Katie and Ikey got engaged. After they returned from their honeymoon, Eddie believed in true love more than he ever had before. He has never been happier than her being married to the love of his life and he wanted his best friends and his sister to be as happy as he was so he convinced Nick to get off of his ass and tell Hannah how he really felt and he pushed Ikey and Katie together and now the four of them were well on their way to happily ever after.
They celebrated their first anniversary in Las Vegas and that weekend Janet stopped taking her birth control and Eddie was convinced that by the end of the weekend, she would be pregnant. Janet on the other hand was a bit more realistic. She knew it could take a few months to get pregnant after being on having been on the pill for so long but she didn't tell Eddie that. She didn't want to dampen his sprits and she was looking forward to trying.
Their anniversary weekend ended and Janet was not pregnant but they were a few thousand dollars richer thanks to some good luck that they had. Once they were home, they began actively looking for a house while continuing to try and get pregnant. It took them two months but they found a perfect two story, three bedroom home. For a couple of months Janet was occupied with packing up the old house and then unpacking the new house but as soon as that was done she focused all of her energy on getting pregnant.
Eddie loved having sex with his wife but during the six months prior to their two year wedding anniversary, the sex wasn't what it used to be. Janet was obsessive about making sure that they had sex when she was ovulating and it seemed to him that she didn't care about making love, all she cared about was having sex so she could get pregnant and Eddie wasn't sure how he felt about it.
"It's after six. What the hell are you still doing here?" Nick asked Eddie .
"Not ready to go home yet."
"Is it that time of the month already?" Eddie nodded glumly. Over the past few months, when Janet got her period she was miserable. She was angry, she cried and she was inconsolable. Eddie hated going home because he felt so helpless. There was nothing he could do to make her feel better except impregnate her but he seemed to be failing at that. "Maybe she's pregnant." Nick suggested.
"Trust me, if she was pregnant I would know. Janet always calls me once or twice a day, except for the day she gets her period and that day, today, she is sitting at home, probably on the couch crying."
"Eddie, I'm really sorry."
"Who would have thought that it would be so hard to get pregnant? Hell, you and Hannah got pregnant a few months after you two got married."
"Sorry about that. It probably didn't help Janet's mental state. Why haven't you guys seen a doctor about this?"
"The definition of infertitity is the failure to conceive after one year of regular intercourse." He quoted. "We couldn't get an appointment until we reached the one year mark. The one year was three weeks ago on our anniversary and our appointment is next week." For their second anniversary the took a trip to West Virginia and did a little white water rafting and bungee jumping and for the first time in months, the sex was what it used to be and the possibility of a pregnancy wasn't hanging over their heads, or at least that's how Eddie felt but it didn't last long. As soon as they were back home, sex became all about getting pregnant. "God Nicky, I am so tired of this drama that we go through every month. I want a kid too but it's so much worse for Janet. I hate seeing her so distraught every month and the only thing I can do to help her is knock her up and I can't even do that."
"Don't put this all on yourself man. Neither of you are to blame. Regardless of the reason that the doctor tells you that Janet can't get pregnant no one is to blame."
"Thanks Nick." Eddie logged off of his computer and stood. "I might as well get home and face the music."
"Good luck."
"Thanks." On his way home, Eddie stopped and picked up some flowers. He hoped that the flowers would make her feel better.
"Hey honey. I'm home." When Eddie didn't get an answer he went to the living room where he knew he would find her on the couch. "Hey baby." He said softly. He lifted her feet, sat on the couch and placed her feet on his lap.
"I got my period." She mumbled tearfully.
"I figured." He handed her the bouquet of flowers her brought home for her. "I brought you flowers."
"Wow. An "I'm sorry you're not knocked up" bouquet. Who would have thought?"
"That's uncalled for Janet."
"If that's not what it is then what are they?"
"It's nothing. I knew that you would be upset and I thought that it would help you feel better."
"Feel better? Do you honestly think flowers can help me feel better?" She burst into tears. "Flowers can't help." She sobbed, throwing the flowers across the room.
"I'm sorry Janet." Eddie snapped, pushing her feet off of his lap. He got up and grabbed the flowers off of the floor. "I just don't know what else to do." He turned back towards Janet when her sobbing increased. "Dammit Janet. Please, tell me what to do. I don't know what to do. I hate seeing you like this." Eddie himself was near tears.
"Well I'm sorry that you hate my inability to get pregnant. "
"It's not your inability to get pregnant that I hate Janet. I hate what it's doing to you and our relationship."
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"First of all I actually am starting to hate coming home when I know that you got your period. You get depressed, you're angry and you're mean. You're not the woman I married when your period comes."
"Didn't you just get the shit end of the stick?"
"See. That's exactly what I mean." Janet's sobs intensified and Eddie's heart broke for his wife. Returning the couch, he lifted Janet's upper body, vacated that spot and then he cradled her to his chest, murmuring "shhh" until she calmed down. "Baby, all you can think about is getting pregnant and it's affecting our relationship. With the exception of our anniversary, we haven't made love in months."
"Are you kidding me? Where have you been lately? We have had plenty of sex."
"Exactly. We have sex. We don't make love and trust me, there is a difference. We used to touch, kiss and engage in foreplay. Now whenever you're ovulating all you want is me inside of you with the only goal being pregnant. Most of the time you don't even take off you're shirt."
"Eddie…" Janet burst into tears again and Eddie just held her tightly and shed silent tears of his own. Once she calmed down, she pulled away from Eddie and sat up. He reached for her hand and she let him hold it. "I always thought that when the time came and I was ready to get pregnant, it would just happen. I never imagined it wouldn't."
"Maybe we're just trying too hard. I've been doing some reading and some of the experts say that if the couple is too stressed out about getting pregnant it won't happen. What about if we just stop trying and maybe, just maybe it will happen?"
"We tried that. For six months we tried that and then, it wasn't about getting pregnant. It was just a possible possibility." Janet finally turned and looked at her husband. "Eddie what if…" Her voice trailed off.
"What if what?" Eddie asked, although he knew where this conversation was headed.
"What if something is so broken inside of me and I can't get pregnant. What if I can't give you the son, the family, from your dream?"
"Honey, I have a family. I have you. You are my family."
"It's not the family from your dream. We don't have a child."
"It was just a dream. It doesn't matter."
"But it does matter. It mattered enough to make you propose as soon as woke up."
"Before I got my tumor, I knew that I was going to marry you. It was just a question of when. Besides reminding me that life is short and I shouldn't put off anything because life can be cruelly taken away at any minute, the only thing that dream did was convince me not to wait any longer to propose. We are married and that's all that really matters to me, kids or no kids. What about if we ended up with a daughter or more than one and no boys? Would you still be upset that it wasn't like my dream?"
"No because if we had a little girl then at least I could give you a child."
"Why are you putting the blame of not getting pregnant all on yourself? Maybe it's me. Maybe I don't have motivated sperm."
"It's probably me." Eddie pulled Janet back to his chest. She wrapped her arm around his stomach and his arm went around her shoulder.
"Oh honey." He really didn't know what to say.
"I'm sorry Eddie. I am so sorry. I just want a baby, our baby so much that it's making me crazy. What if we can't have one?"
"If we can't get pregnant there are options Janet. There are ways to get pregnant other than the natural way and if we can't have our own child there is adoption. It's not the end of the world. We will have a child Janet, one way or another." Janet lifted her tear-stained face to her husband and kissed his softly. When they broke apart, she placed her hand on his cheek.
"When my period is over I want to make love. Even though I have been acting like a crazy woman do you still want that?" With his free hand, Eddie reached up and linked their fingers together.
"More than anything sweetheart." He whispered softly.
"Janet you're going to break your bracelet if you don't stop." Eddie chastised. She had been twisting, clasping and unclasping her bracelet over and over.
"I can't help it. Our future is dependent on what the doctor is going to walk in here and say."
"No. We are going to find out of we are able to have our own children. Whatever happens here today, you and I are in this together. No matter what the doctor says I'm not going anywhere." Although, she never voiced it, he knew that somewhere deep down she was afraid that if she couldn't have a baby, he would leave her and nothing is farther from the truth.
They were at the fertility doctor's office, awaiting Janet's test results. Just as Janet suspected, the lack of pregnancy was her fault. Eddie had his sperm tested and his boys were numerous in quantity and they were highly motivated so that left Janet. When she was told that she was the reason that they weren't holding or loving a child was her fault, her heart shattered but Eddie was slowly piecing it back together.
"Mr. Mrs. Latekka. It's good to see you." Dr. Hatley greeted them. "Mrs. Latekka, I have your test results." Janet nodded and finally stopped playing with her bracelet and clutched Eddie's hand. "As I thought and explained to you, your test results came back showing an extreme case of endometriosis which is the cause of your infertility."
"How could I not have known that I had this?"
"You've been on birth control pills for fifteen to sixteen years right?" Janet nodded. "Why did you start the pill at such a young age?"
"Even at fourteen my menstrual flow was very heavy and my cramps were miserable. They would start two days before my period and last the entire week. I always missed a few days of school because I could hardly walk because I was in so much pain. My pediatrician suggested the pill to help with the flow and cramps and it worked. The flow has been much lighter and my cramps are tolerable." She explained.
"The symptoms that you had when you were fourteen led me to believe that you have had the endometriosis since then. Since the birth control pill stopped your symptoms your pediatrician had no reason to run further testing. Did your symptoms return when you stopped taking the pills last year?"
"Yeah they did. Not at first but by third month I was pretty miserable again."
"Birth control pills can inhibit the growth of endometrial tissue and that's what exactly what happened in your case. All the years that you were on the pill, your endometriosis wasn't growing. Now that you're off of the pill, it started growing rampant."
"Can it be fixed?" Eddie asked.
"There are a couple of fixable options such as returning back to the birth control pills or a hysterectomy but neither of those options will help you get pregnant."
"Am I going to be able to get pregnant?"
"Not the natural way." Dr. Hatley went on to explain the reasons why Janet would not be able to get pregnant the normal way. The only thing Eddie understood from the doctor's speech was scar tissue.
"What are our options? You said that I can't get pregnant the natural way so there must be some way that we can have a baby, right?"
"There are a couple of options that I can give you. The first is IVF or in-vitro fertilization, a process where sperm and egg are removed from both of you and then I inject the sperm into the egg in a Petri dish. Once fertilization takes place the embryo is put inside the uterus. The second option is surrogacy. The procedure is the same but instead of implanting the embryo in your uterus Janet the embryo is implanted in the woman of your choosing."
"Are those our only options?" Eddie inquired.
"For your particular situation, yes." Eddie and Janet both nodded.
Dr. Hatley then went over all of the pros and cons of each option, including the side effects, the cost because their insurance most likely won't cover either procedure and he sent them home with some brochures. Eddie and Janet walked out of the office with heavy heart, not knowing what to do.
Since Janet's appointment was first thing in the morning, Eddie decided to take the day off so he and Janet could make the necessary decisions that needed to be made. They set up at the dining room table, laying out the brochures out in front of them along with their insurance plan and financial information. "Before we start going through everything I have one question for you."
"What is it?"
"Are either of these options something that you want to do?"
"Shouldn't this be something that we decide together?"
"Technically yes, but the hard part falls on you. All I have to do is jack off in a cup. You're going to have to get shots and have surgery. If you're up for it then I'm game but if not, I need you to understand that if you don't want to do this, then I will support you one hundred and ten percent." Janet looked across the table at her husband with tears in her eyes.
"I want a baby Eddie. Our baby."
"All right then. We proceed. Next question. Are both procedures something you want to consider?"
"Only IVF. I will not consider a surrogate. I have heard too many stories and seen too many Lifetime movies where the surrogate won't give the baby to its parents and that is something that I won't chance."
"Agreed. That is the first thing that I thought of."
The couple spent the next hour on the phone with the insurance company, which was no easy feat and after being transferred to what seemed like a thousand people they had their answer. The insurance company wasn't going to pay for IVF. "Well I guess that we are back at square one." Janet said miserably.
"Not necessarily."
"Eddie we can't afford this. We have no where near the kind of money in our savings account and the doctor's office doesn't take payments." Tears began to fall. They had come so close.
"Sweetheart, we can apply for a loan."
"We just bought this house. I don't want to take on a loan, have a baby and then end up getting ourselves strapped. What's the point of having a baby if we can't provide financially for it?"
"While you have been on the phone with the insurance I have been going through our bills compared to what we bring home with our paychecks we can easily afford a loan payment. We have a fixed interest rate on the house for fifteen years. We'll be fine Janet."
"What if we take out a loan and it doesn't work We would have to pay back all that money and have nothing to show for it. It's just too much of a risk." She wanted to get pregnant, more than anything right now but she was afraid to put a financial strain on her family. She had seen so many couples get divorced because of money issues.
Eddie reached out and took Janet's hand. "Sweetheart, I want a baby and we now have the chance to have one. It's a risk but it's a risk that I am willing to take. I know you're scared that it won't work, I'm scared too but can you live the rest of your life wondering "what if"? What if we would have tried and it worked? What would our child look like? I don't want to beg you Janet so I'm going to ask you this one time. Please? Can we please get a loan and try to have a baby?" Tears were now falling from his eyes.
"Okay Eddie. Let's try for a baby."
A month later, after her next period Janet had started the injections to stimulate her eggs to mature so they could be inseminated. The side effects from the injections weren't bad and Janet tolerated them well. She spent a lot of time at the doctor's office with an ultrasound wand on her belly, so they could check the progress of her maturing egg cells. Once the eggs were mature to the doctors liking Eddie and Janet both went into the office for retrieval of eggs and sperm.
Eddie's part was easy and with Janet's help of manual stimulation and dirty talk Eddie was quickly able to produce a sample. After his part was done Eddie was put into the waiting room while Janet underwent her procedures. Since she had to be knocked out the doctor was going to first attempt to remove the excess endometrial tissue from her uterus so when the embryo's were put in her uterus they would have somewhere in implant themselves and then he was going to extract the eggs.
The days following the egg extraction leading up to the implantation Janet was giddy, knowing that she might be pregnant within a couple of weeks. The days seemed to drag on but the night before the implantation finally arrived.
"I think it's time that we fill the prescription Dr. Hatley wrote for us." Janet said as she walked into the living room wearing a very sexy, see - through nightgown.
"I was ready to fill it hours ago." Eddie stood and walked over to his wife. Dr. Hatley recommended that they have sex the night before the implantation, explaining that the uterine contractions that she experienced during her orgasm may increase the chance of the embryo implant and he jokingly wrote a prescription instructing them to have sex.
"The pharmacy is this way." Janet took his hand and led him to their bedroom that was bathed in candlelight. They released hands and Janet went and lay on the bed and watched as Eddie stripped.
"Have I told you lately how beautiful you are?" He whispered as he lovingly ran his hand up her leg to her thigh.
"Yes you have but a girl never tires of hearing it."
"Beautiful." He mumbled, burying his face in her cleavage, sticking his tongue in the crevice. "So beautiful." His lips were now placing soft kisses on her neck. "So very beautiful." The instant his lips met hers, in the first of many passionate kisses, he slid to fingers inside of her hot, wet center.
Janet moaned into the kiss and her hips involuntary bucked into his hands, pushing his fingers deeper. Eddie continued to kiss her while his fingers worked their magic inside her and within a few minutes she was groaning into his mouth. Eddie pulled away and licked his fingers. "You taste so good." Janet was feeling boneless from her orgasm so Eddie pulled her into a sitting position, yanked her nightgown over her head and then he laid her back down. Gazing at his beautiful wife, lying naked on the bed, totally content, he was reminded how damn lucky he was. Knowing, she needed time to recoup he lay back down and attached his mouth to one of her breasts while he fondled the other until she was squirming beneath him in pleasure.
"Fast and hard or slow and tender baby? Whatever you want, it's yours." He asked.
"Fast. I want it fast."
"You got it." Eddie pulled himself off the bed and then pulled Janet to the edge. This had become one of her favorite positions and one of his as well. She immediately wrapped her legs around his lower back and he thrusted into her. He pushed into her fast, just like she wanted but he needed to be deeper inside of her and he knew she wanted it too. He lifted her hips and sank deeper inside of her, eliciting a scream of pleasure from her. Eddie continued to pump furiously until he shouted her name as he exploded inside of her. Janet shattered around him a couple of thrusts later.
Eddie pulled out of his wife, repositioned her on the bed, crawled in next to her and covered them up. Janet immediately snuggled up next to him, pressing her body next to his. "This time tomorrow…"
"Don't say it honey." Eddie requested. He didn't want her to get her hopes up only to have her heart broken. If he really thought about it he didn't want to get his own hopes up and then dashed.
"Not saying it isn't going to stop me from thinking about it. It's all I can think about."
"You're telling me that while we were making love you were thinking about the implantation? Gee thanks honey." Eddie joked.
"I take it back. The only time today I wasn't thinking about the implantation was when we were making love."
"That's better." He tightened his arm around her. "Janet I don't want to see your heart broken."
"I know you don't and I don't want you're heart to be broken either but if I don't get pregnant then it's going to happen. Our hearts are going to be broken. As much as I'm hoping that the implantation will work, I'm just as scared that it won't." She admitted softly.
"Whatever happens tomorrow and the weeks that follow we're in it together, baby or no baby."
"I really want this to work, more than anything Eddie."
"Me too Janet. Me too."
"Mrs. Latekka. Are you ready?" Carol, the nurse at the fertility clinic asked. Janet and Eddie followed the nurse back into the procedure room.
"More than you know."
"Have a seat and Dr. Hatley will be in shortly to go over last minute details. Good luck."
"Thank you." Eddie said. From the corner of his eye he saw Janet walk over to stand in front of the window. She wrapped her arms around herself and just stared outside. He walked over to her, wrapping her in his arms and she leaned into the embrace.
"I'm so scared Eddie. I don't know if I can go through this."
"Because you're scared it will work or because you are scared that it won't?"
"A little of both but mainly the latter."
"Sweetheart."
"I…I…I don't know if I can handle it if it doesn't work."
"Then we don't have to do this today or ever. We can go home and talk about it some more. Whatever choice you make, you have my support." Janet didn't respond. She just continued to stare outside until Dr. Haley came in.
"Well today is the day. Are you excited?" The doctor asked and Janet finally broke out of Eddie's comforting embrace.
"I don't know if that's the word I would use to describe what I'm feeling right now."
"Are you having second thoughts?" Janet took a minute before answering.
"No I'm not. I'm ready to do this."
"Before we get started would you like to see your embryos?"
"We can see them?" Eddie asked.
"You sure can. The embryos are so small that you need a microscope to see them but I have a cool microscope that will allow me to project them on a screen. Are you ready?" They both nodded. "Follow me."
Eddie and Janet followed into another room. He dimmed the lights and then the embryos were up on the screen. Together, they slowly walked up to the screen and Janet reached out and touched one and then the other embryos through the screen. They decided only to inseminate two eggs and then implant the two embryos due to the money restrictions that they had.
"Eddie are you seeing this? One of these could be our baby." A giant lump formed in Eddie's throat and he was unable to speak so he just nodded. After giving them a few minutes to look at their possible future child Dr. Hatley escorted them back to the procedure room where he instructed Janet to undress from the waist down.
"I know that you were having second thoughts when we got here but when you told Dr. Hatley I know that you no longer were having them so what changed your mind?" Eddie asked while they waited for Dr. Hatley to return.
"I knew that I couldn't live without knowing. I can't go the rest of my life wondering if the implantation would have taken and even though I'm terrified that it won't take I have to know. Even if my heart will break I have to take this chance." Tears were sliding down her cheeks and Eddie wiped them with his thumb.
"You are so brave. Do you realize that?"
"You have just as much stake in this as I do."
"Yeah, but it's different for me." Just then, Dr. Hatley and his nurse returned.
"Are you ready?"
"More than anything."
"Scoot down to the end of the table and put your feet in the stirrups. You know the drill." Janet did as she was instructed and Eddie poisoned himself right next to Janet.
"Remember what I told you Janet. It's just like a pap smear except longer." She nodded and Eddie took her hand. "All right. Here we go."
Fifteen minutes later, it was all done and Janet was lying flat on her back and she would remain that way for the next hour. "Would you like to watch some television?" The nurse asked.
"No thanks." Eddie answered.
"Press the call button if you need anything." She said as she walked out of the room.
"Are you okay sweetheart?" Eddie asked softly.
"I'm more than all right. I think that it worked."
"Janet." The tone of his voice was mixed with worry and hope.
"I know right know the embryos are just hanging out right now but maybe it's my motherly instinct telling me that one of those embryos are going to make itself at home inside of me."
"I hope you're right."
"I am." The confidence that she was feeling made its way over to him. With a smile, he leaned over and kissed her softly.
"I love you Janet."
"I know. I love you too."
The next two weeks were the longest of both Eddie and Janet's lives. The day of the procedure, after Eddie took Janet home, she was on bed rest for twenty four hours and for those twenty four hours Eddie waited on his wife, whatever she needed or whatever he thought that she needed, she had. According to Dr. Hatley Janet was allowed to return to a normal life the following day but Eddie didn't want to risk it so for the rest of the weekend he didn't allow his wife out of bed. Janet loved the special treatment and honestly, Eddie loved pampering her. They were allowed to resume sexual activity a week after the procedure but Janet wasn't having it. She didn't want to risk hurting the baby, if there was in fact one to hurt.
Two weeks after the procedure, Janet was back at the fertility clinic getting blood work done to see if she was pregnant. Knowing how anxious perspective parents are, Dr. Hatley always runs the blood work stat. When he came back and told her the test was negative Janet remained positive. Dr. Hatley told her depending on when the embryo implanted, it could take up to three weeks for the blood test to be positive so even with one negative test, there was still a chance.
"This test will be positive today." Janet told Eddie while they waited for the fourth pregnancy test results.
"What makes you say that?"
"I was supposed to get my period yesterday and I didn't." Her blue eyes were shining with excitement.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"I was afraid that if I mentioned it then I would start."
"You're always regular aren't you?"
"I am."
"Oh baby."
"I know."
"Hey Janet, Eddie." Dr. Hatley was wearing a huge smile when in walked in the room and Eddie and Janet knew the results.
"Do you have the results?" Eddie whispered as he clutched Janet's hand.
"This is my favorite part of the job. Congratulations Janet, you're pregnant." Eddie stood up, shook the doctor's hand, returned to Janet were they wrapped their arms around each other and cried tears of joy.