Alexis walked in to her father's room just after 10 am. It was a rough night for her. Falling asleep wasn't difficult. After all, she hadn't slept in about 40 hours. She had never known exhaustion until now. Falling asleep was easy, but staying that way was another story. She kept waking up from a recurring nightmare. The nightmare ended when the phone would ring, Kate was on the other end of the line, informing her that her father was dead.

Alexis would wake up panting, on the verge of tears, as the fact that it was almost her reality was realized. She was terrified. It was not easy facing the fact that your father, your hero wasn't as invincible as you thought he was. Growing up, her father had given her the perfect childhood. He was attentive, he was entertaining, he was literally her best friend. Alexis didn't need a Batman, Superman, or Spiderman to look up to. Alexis had Rick Castle.

Now, she was lying in her childhood bed, crying, because her super hero dad was lying in a hospital bed. With a freaking gunshot wound. She was generally ok with her dad playing detective. He had grown up and found joy in helping the victims of New York City. She was even proud of him for this decision. But now… she wanted him to give it up. It wasn't cute anymore. The danger he put himself in wasn't worth it either. He had a family to think about.

Thinking about the precinct inevitably led her to think about Kate. Kate, the only woman to have ever made her dad truly happy was also the only woman to have ever made her dad truly miserable. It was hard, trying to navigate her feelings for Kate. On one hand, she has always admired her. Kate was a strong, independent, successful woman. Alexis didn't have that sort of role model in a woman before. Yes, her Gram was wonderful, but in a way different from Kate. She had watched her father's relationship with Kate, and she thought she was witnessing love for the first time in a relationship outside of a TV screen. Her dad had never loved her mother, or Gina, and Gram had never fallen in a deep love since she could remember. It was exciting to watch, and gave her hope that love still existed. What Kate and her dad had was real. What she thought was forever.

However, the last 4 months has erased those good memories of her. She watched her father slowly drift away. Yes, he was still the wonderful father to her, a good son to Gram, but the light in his eyes were gone. He laughed less, he never wrote, and his smile wasn't a permanent feature on his face. For that, Alexis hated Kate. With her return, came all of the negative feelings. Hurt, anger, frustrations, disappointment. She didn't want to watch her dad fall for her again, and then get hurt once she leaves. She couldn't trust Kate Beckett anymore.

Her dad had asked her to wait to talk about the precinct and Beckett until he felt better, probably until after he is released from the hospital. If she were honest, Alexis would want to talk now. Get all of these feelings off her chest, and a reassurance from her father that he would be safe. Safe to her meant away from the 12th and away from Kate. Alexis wasn't stupid though. Pushing him to talk and make a decision wouldn't work. He needed logic and so she will wait. She will come up with all the reasons why he should quit it all, and give him a sound argument. So, as sleep evaded Alexis Castle, she began to craft the best speech she's ever given.

To walk in to her father's room and see Kate sitting in his room, next to his bed, with her hand in his was shocking to say the least. She had left the night before with her dad still ice cold to Beckett. She had made herself home on a chair in the hallway, and that is where Alexis had assumed she'd stay all night. This scene before her was too intimate, too much for her to take right now. She wanted her gone, not just from the room but the hospital. Her dad might be too weak to realize it, but she could fight for him. She would make sure he wouldn't get hurt again.

"Agent Beckett. What are you doing in here? I thought you were staying in the hall since you wouldn't leave."

"Hey, Alexis… ya, I, um, came in early this morning. To help your dad. He knows I'm in here, I've got his permission." She tried to reassure Alexis.

"No, you don't get it do you. We don't need your help. You don't have my permission to be in here right now." Alexis spoke. She was fuming, but trying to keep her voice down with her father asleep in the bed.

"If your dad asks me for help, if he needs me, then this is where I am. I won't leave." Kate said strongly.

"For how long? Until the next job offer comes? Until the next millionaire looks your way? Kate, you don't exactly have the best track record of staying around when my dad needs you."

"Alexis Castle. That is enough" Castle rebuked. He began moving from his prostrate state to sitting up so he could have this very awkward conversation with his daughter and his… partner?

"I realize you are mad at Kate, and I realize that you are scared so I won't get too upset. However, you do not get to talk to her like that. It was rude and you know better than that."

"Dad! I'm tired of watching this dance the two of you are in where you follow her, she gives you attention, you think you have the girl, then she walks away with your heart. I'm tired of picking up the pieces she leaves behind when she goes. You don't seem to care but I do."

"Kate and I… we've both done our share of hurting. I'm sorry you've had to deal with the repercussions of our relationship, and I should've done better to keep that from you. This… thing" Castle motioned between he and Kate, "is still undefined. I don't know what or if it will become anything. I do know that I asked you to give me time to think."

"I don't trust her. I don't trust her not to trick you into falling for her again."

"Alexis," Kate finally spoke up, "I don't deserve you or your fathers trust right now. Yours especially. You've had a courtside view of our relationship, and because of that you have seen our best and worst sides. I don't expect instant forgiveness, I don't even expect to get it at all. But I will fight like hell to earn it."

"Why should I believe this time is any different?"

"Because I know what it's like to lose it all. I know how completely alone and lost I feel without my family. I know that what I want more than anything is to be worthy of my family again."

Alexis looks down to the floor. "I can't… I can't support this. I'm sorry, Dad. I need to… I need… to go. I'll stop by, later. Text me if you need anything."

"Sweetheart, don't go." Castle called out.

"It's fine. Really. Bye." Alexis said as she walked out the door.

Leaving silence to fill her absence.

"Kate. What are we doing? This affects my little girl. I just… I can't keep doing this to her." Castle's whisper eventually breaks the silence.

"You know what I want. You know that I want you back, and that I want this to be forever. I think… I think I need to give you time to figure out what you want. This isn't just about us anymore. We've been selfish, dragging our friends and family into our mess of a relationship."

"I hate that this is what we've become."

"Ya, Castle," Kate sighs, "me too."