"Why?" Kate asked. She knew if she kept pushing she will get more of the truth from him. She wished that they could leave the conversation where it's at, but if they hope to become better communicators, better partners, then she will push.

"Why am I pissed? It seems pretty obvious don't you think?"

"Why are you pissed at Eric Vaughn, Castle? Let's start there."

"He seduced you, Kate! After he knew we were together!" Castle nearly yelled.

"He was charming, attentive, and attractive, yes…"

"Great. You are swooning right in front of me again and the guy isn't even here!"

"But… Castle, he isn't the first rich, ladies' man to try to seduce me. In fact, I lasted four years before I gave in to the last one." Kate said with a smirk.

"You were willing to give in to him in less than a week." Castle replied.

"That is NOT true."

"I worked so hard to get you to notice me. I brought you coffee, I followed you at work, and I busted my ass to be a good partner. Four years, Kate, four years of waiting for you to finally open up to me. To see what was right in front of you! It seemed like… you were ready to give in to him and his damn charm if I hadn't been around."

"That is not true, Castle." Kate repeated herself in a low voice.

"Then why were you drinking champagne with him? Why were you so close to him when he was nearly shot? It just doesn't add up. What is it that he has that I don't? I know you aren't after money, Kate, so I don't have to worry about that. You say he gave you the attention you felt I wasn't giving you lately. I've followed you around for 5 years! I've risked my life for you far more times than I'd like to admit to. I've waited years and for you. One night I'm distracted, momentarily, and you are ready to run? Sure doesn't say much about our relationship now does it."

"I was scared." Kate finally whispered. She felt like an idiot when looking at Castle's perspective of the situation. Yes, she felt like she wasn't sexy enough for him when he was distracted, but there was more to her almost thing with Vaughn than that.

"Scared of what?"

"Of everything! I'm scared that you will get bored of me. Scared that you will wake up one day and realize I'm not good enough for you or your family. Scared that my job will put you in danger and I will have to tell your daughter I didn't protect her dad. Scared that I suck at relationships and will screw it up."

"So you ran. That's why you took the DC job without telling me. Right?"

"Yes." Kate felt smaller now than she has ever before in her life. She just admitted to weakness, but worse than that? She admitted to not facing her fear but hid away instead.

"Why?"

"Why did I run? Castle…"

"Kate, I have to know. You said we had to talk, this is part of it."

"I told you… I was scared."

"Nope, I'm not buying it. Kate, I've watched you stare down murderers and not even flinch. There is more to it than this. Why did you run?"

"You have the power to break me, Rick. A life without you in it would be hell. I barely survived my mother's murder. I know that if anything like that happened to you… I wouldn't come back from that. Part of me ran because that scares me. I worked so hard to keep everyone out, with my wall, so I wouldn't ever be hurt again. Part of it was because I was scared of the commitment you were asking for. Mostly… I was running away to protect you."

"Bull shit." Castle wasn't buying this. There had to be more to it, more of a reason that he has had to suffer for 4 long months.

"I am in love with you. I want to marry you. I want to have children with you. I can't do that until I know our family will be safe." Castle wants real? Here it is. Her greatest fear.

"Safe from what? Kate, sometimes bad things happen, but that doesn't mean we give up everything that makes us happy. That is ridiculous."

"I will not bring a child in to this world if I know Bracken is out there."

"Bracken? Wait. This has to do with your mother's case? I thought we were past this." Castle felt blindsided by this.

"I bought us time, a momentary time out in the war, but I know the final battle is coming. If I had the power and resources of the federal government on my side, plus the extra training I'd receive in DC, then I would get the son of a bitch and end this war for good. Being a cop? It just won't cut it anymore."

After a long sigh, Castle finally responded. "I can't fault you for that, Kate. I've known this case was important to you from the beginning and I would never get in the way of that. I just… I'm so disappointed in you, how you handled this. I can't… I need time, space, to think about this. I need… a break."

"Castle I'm…"

"Stop, please. I can't do this right now. I'm tired and I need to be alone." Castle left no room for questions. This conversation was over, and he was checked out. He rolled over, as best he could, to distance himself the best he can. "Close the door on your way out please."

"Ok," Kate whispered her assent. She certainly didn't want to leave his side, but knew that he wasn't going to change his mind.

As soon as the door shut, Castle's defenses fell. A tear slipped down his check as he reflected on the conversation he just had. He had been hurt and confused for months, trying to piece together why she would leave him. He had assumed he wasn't good enough, that she couldn't possibly love him. She couldn't commit, because Richard Castle wasn't worth it. It turns out, he was up against her mother's case.

He couldn't fault Kate for wanting justice for her mom. It's part of what he loves most about her. Her dedication and determination to right the wrong of not only her mother, but all the victims that cross her desk. However, to hear that their love, their happiness was so easily tossed away for a case? That felt like shit. To top it all off, Kate didn't trust him enough to tell him the truth. Kate didn't think about how this decision would affect him at all. She did say it was her life after all.

Hers.

Singular.

Richard Castle wasn't worth it, and he didn't stand a chance in the fight. This feeling? Feels worse than walking in on his wife cheating on him. This hurts a lot more, too.

Sorry it was a short one... wanted to get out what I had already.