I own none of the characters of October Road

It's been eight long weeks since Janet Latekka was able to take a shower like a normal person. For the past few months, while restricted to her hospital bed, she has had to endure sponge baths by a nurse, very uncomfortable or by her loving husband, very enjoyable except there was no satisfaction at the end of the gentle caresses he used. The only thing she was left with was pent-up sexual frustration, never a good thing for a pregnant woman.

Janet turned the water on as hot as she could stand it and then stripped out of the hospital gown, something else she was tired of looking at. There was a full length mirror in the bathroom, not a good idea as far as Janet was concerned because how many women who just gave birth want to see themselves totally naked. Standing in front of the mirror Janet was disgusted by what she saw. Carrying the boys was hell on her body. Granted, she was never the most toned woman with a flat belly prior to getting pregnant but now, it's so much worse than it ever was before. She had huge, hideous stretch marks, everywhere; she had excess skin on her abdomen from all of the stretching her belly had to do to accommodate three babies and finally her boobs were huge. Eddie would most likely appreciate that but they too, were covered with stretch marks and they were so sore and swollen.

Wiping away the tears of disgust that had fallen she slowly stepped into the shower and just stood under the hot water, letting the water fall over her. It felt so nice to have the hot water pounding on her body, relaxing her. After about fifteen minutes of savoring the hot water she finally began to proceed with her shower. She took another ten minutes, washing her hair, massaging her scalp. What she was most excited about was shaving. She needed to shave so badly. Shaving has gone to the wayside since she has been on bed rest and she felt like she had man legs, they were so hairy. It's been months since she had been able to see her legs, let alone shave them. Eddie had been taking over that job before she came into the hospital and that's the one thing that she was going to miss.

"You okay in here?" Janet jumped at the sound of Eddie's voice.

"I'm fine. "

"You've been in here for a half an hour. I got worried."

"I'm fine." She repeated.

"Need some help in there?" Eddie went to pull the curtain back to peek in but Janet quickly grabbed it and held it closed. "Sweetheart, why are you holding the curtain shut?"

"I…uhhh…don't want the cold air getting in."

"Liar."

"Eddie please, just go and let me finish." Janet saw the curtain relax and she didn't hear anything else so she assumed that he left her alone.

Five minutes later, Janet finished up her shower. She turned the water off and opened the curtain and came face to face with Eddie who was holding a towel up for her. "You son of a bitch." She snapped, grabbing the towel but he kept it just out of her reach. "Dammit Eddie, give me the towel."

"What are you afraid of Janet? I've seen you naked before."

"But not like this. I am sooo…" Her voice drifted off. Eddie stepped forward, wrapped the towel around his wife.

"Baby, you just gave birth to three babies." Janet burst into tears.

"But…I have these hideous stretch marks everywhere…and…and…the sk…skin that's…hanging…it's never going to go away…" Eddie held Janet tightly in his arms as she sobbed. The doctor and nurses told him to except mood swings from sadness to grumpiness because of her out of control pregnancy hormones. Janet had always been self conscious about her weight so Eddie expected this breakdown.

"Janet, sweetheart, look at me." She lifted her head off of his chest and looked up at him and his heart broke for her. "Janet I love you so much. I love you for who are on the inside and outside. You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen and I don't care if you have stretch marks or extra skin. When I look at you I don't see any of that and I never will. Every time I look at you I see the beautiful woman that stole my heart. You will always be beautiful to me."

"But…but…you haven't…really seen how…hideous I am…to look at." In an instant Eddie pulled the towel off of Janet and she stood in front of Eddie naked as the day she was born. She instinctively tried to cover herself up but Eddie grabbed her hands. With a huge smile his eyes roamed up and down her naked body.

"Well I've seen all of you baby, stretch marks and extra skin and I still think that you are beautiful. In fact you are more beautiful today then you were two days ago, before you gave birth because having those babies, it made you more beautiful." Eddie gently wrapped the towel back around his wife. "Do you believe me?"

"You've never lied to me before so yes, I believe you."

"Good." Eddie leaned down and kissed her softly.

"Is your breast okay? The left one looks really red." He asked, concern filling his voice.

"It's a little sore but I'm sure that it's normal because of the breastfeeding."

"Are you sure?" Janet nodded. "Okay then. Well I am sure that you are tired of wearing that hospital gown so I bought you some new pajama's so get dressed and then we'll go get our boys." He grinned and turned to leave the bathroom.

"Eddie, I love you." He turned back to the woman he loved.

"I love you too sweetheart."

"No. I'm not leaving without Joshua." Janet told Eddie. The triplets were five days old and Jackson, Jacob and Janet were all being released the next day. Jackson and Jacob were born over five pound but as all babies do they lost weight after they were born and the neonatologist wasn't releasing them until they were at five pounds, which they just barely tipped the scale at five pounds exactly. Janet's blood pressure was still high after the boys were born so Dr. Hatley kept her admitted until it was at a manageable level. Now that she met the manageable level, she could go home. Joshua on the other hand was the smallest of the boys, weighing in at 4lbs 3oz. He has been off the of the feeding tube for two days and was finally nursing but he was struggling with latching on so more often then not, he ended up with a bottle of breast milk. He was gaining weight but he still wasn't at five pounds and his doctor wanted him to stay until he was at the same weight as his brothers are.

"We don't have a choice. You can be here during the day, hell; we can even bring the other two with us. You just can't stay the night." Eddie told her gently.

"He can't stay at the hospital all night, alone."

"He won't be alone. He'll be in the nursery, like he has been every night since he was born."

"His brothers were with him. Now he will be alone and scared."

"Sweetheart, this is what is best for Josh."

"It's not best for me."

"You have been wanting to come home for months."

"With all THREE of my children. Not just two of them. That's how I wanted to come home."

"You don't have a choice Janet. You, me, Jake and Jax are all going home tomorrow night." Janet and the boys were scheduled to be released in the morning and Eddie had already checked with the nursery staff and was assured that they could stay as visitors throughout the day so he decided that they four of them would then go home in the evening.

"We'll see about that." She mumbled and he sighed. He understood where she was coming from; he didn't want to leave Josh behind either but it had to be done. It was what their son needed to become healthy.

"Just think it about it baby." He kissed her head. "Geez Janet, you are burning up." He reached over and hit the call button. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I'm just tired." She has felt blah throughout the day but she just attributed it to being tired. Even though the boys were sleeping in the nursery they were still brought to her to nurse, usually once an hour because the boys weren't nursing at the same time. Just as one would finish and Janet would drift back to sleep another would wake up and the process seemed to go on all night.

"What's going on?" The nurse asked.

"Something's wrong with Janet. I think she has a fever." Eddie explained.

"Well let's see what's going on." The nurse grabbed the thermometer and placed it in Janet's mouth while Janet sat on the bed and glared at her husband for opening his mouth. "102.4. Janet, what's going on? Do you feel okay?" The nurse began to examine her patient.

"I feel really blah."

"Define blah."

"I'm tired, I have a headache, and I feel sore all over, especially my breast."

"One or both breasts?"

"Both but my left is worse then the right."

"May I see your breasts please?" Janet gave her nurse a weird look. "Just trust me. I think you have an infection in your breast." She slowly sat up and pulled her shirt up, wincing slightly as her shirt brushed against her sore breast.

"Whoa." Eddie said. "That looks a lot worse then it did."

"Would you care to elaborate?" The nurse asked.

"Two days ago when Janet was getting a shower I noticed that her breast was red and swollen but we both assumed it had to do with breastfeeding." Eddie told Janet's nurse.

"I'm going to page a doctor to come in and have a look. I believe that you have a breast infection called mastitis, a common infection in breast feeding women. Hang tight."

"Great. Just what I need." Janet mumbled as the nurse walked out of the room.

Two hours later Janet's latest diagnosis was confirmed. She had a severe case of mastitis with an abscess. She was started on I.V. antibiotics and would remain on the I.V. for the next forty eight hours and the next morning she was scheduled to have the abscess removed. "Well it looks like you got your wish. You don't have to leave Josh for a couple more days." Eddie grumbled to his wife.

"I didn't want to stay here like this. Do you think I wanted this?"

"I honestly don't know."

"What in the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Why did you let the infection get so damn bad? You are a mother now and you have three babies to think about. You can't just think about yourself." He snapped. He was furious that Janet let her infection get as bad as it did.

"I just thought that it was a part of breast feeding."

"Bullshit Janet. The first day, yeah I could see that but now, anyone could tell that it was an infection."

"Well excuse me for never breastfeeding before. How in the hell was I to know what was going on?"

"Come on. Quit lying to me and to yourself. I knew something was wrong and it's not my breast."

"I don't appreciate what you are insinuating. I love my boys. I would do anything for them."

"Our boys Janet and apparently you won't do anything for them. You won't even take care of yourself."

"I think you should go." Janet muttered.

"Yeah. I probably should." He kissed the top of her head. "I'll see you in the morning." He walked out of the room without an "I love you."

Eddie was out of the room for a couple minutes before Janet realized that she couldn't let him leave on a bad note. She got out of bed and rushed to the elevator but she was too late. Just as she got there the elevator door shut. "Dammit." She mumbled tearfully. Turning, she slowly walked to the nursery and stood at the window and watched her boys.

"Looks like you had the same idea as I did." Janet looked over in surprise at her husband. Eddie wrapped an arm around her shoulder and Janet leaned against him and together they watched two of their boys sleep. "Come on. Let's talk." His arm slipped off of her shoulder and he took her hand and together they returned to Janet's room.

"I'm sorry." Janet blurted out as soon as Eddie closed the door. "I didn't mean anything that I said. I just don't know what the hell is wrong with me. I want out of this damn hospital so bad but I don't want to leave Joshua."

"It's your crazy ass pregnancy hormones. They should wear off soon."

"I knew something was wrong with my breast." She admitted softly.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't know." She burst into tears and again, Eddie just held his wife until she calmed down.

"I talked to the nurses and they have agreed that when Jacob and Jackson are discharged tomorrow the boys can stay in here with us until you are discharged."

"Really?"

"Yep. Now we are going to be totally on our own. They only baby they will continue to care for will be Josh. Are you up for the challenge?"

"I am."

"Me too."

"I'm so sorry Eddie."

"So am I. I just worry so damn much about you."

"This isn't how our life was supposed to be. This wasn't what you dreamed about."

"Of course it's not and that's because it was a dream. This is real life and real life is supposed to have its ups and downs and besides in my dream, I ended up dead and what we are going through right now is a definite improvement."

"I love you Eddie."

"I love you too sweetheart."

"I'm going to bed." Janet mumbled to her husband. It was nine thirty and they had just finished feeding the boys.

"I'll lock up downstairs and come with you." Janet handed Eddie two empty bottles.

"Whatever." She kissed his cheek distractedly and disappeared into their bedroom.

After locking up the house, Eddie returned upstairs to his bedroom. Hoping for some long overdue sex, he stripped naked, crawled into bed and began to nuzzle on her neck, something that always turns her on. "What in the hell are doing?" Janet grumbled.

"If you think really hard, I think that you can figure it out." He whispered

"Get off." Janet pushed him away.

"Come on baby. It's been months." Eddie was desperate to make love.

"I'm too tired."

"I'll energize you." He rolled back over to her and slid his hand under the tee shirt she was wearing.

"God dammit Eddie." She moved his hand off of her stomach, sat up and glared at him. "What part of I am exhausted do you not understand? You get to sleep all night while I am up with the boys and during the day when you are at work, I never slow down. I'm constantly either changing diapers, feeding, bathing, or soothing crying children until I go to bed where I get a couple hours of sleep before it starts all over again so let me make this perfectly clear. I. Do. Not. Want. To. Have. Sex. Now goodnight." She lay back down and covered up, ending the conversation.

Without another word Eddie got out of bed, threw on some clothes and stormed out of their bedroom and back downstairs to the kitchen to do some dishes. Eddie was worried about his wife. She and the boys had been home for seven weeks, the boys were now eight weeks old and instead of things getting easier everything seemed to be getting harder.

Sharon, Janet's mom stayed with them for the first two weeks that they were all home and with Sharon's help, things were okay, hectic but tolerable. Once they were alone, with their boys, things seemed to go downhill. He could see how exhausted she was. She was the one who got up with the boys at night. He tried to get up and help feed the boys but usually it was just one of them that would wake up and Janet insisted that she could handle it because it was just one that was up. She would turn off the baby monitor and he would go back to sleep and she never woke him up, telling him in the morning that he needed his sleep since he was the one who had to work. Eddie begged her, to wake him up and she would promise him that she would but she never did. On his weekends off Eddie was the primary caregivers of the boys while Janet caught up on her sleep, which was fine with Eddie because he knew she needed it but when she wasn't sleeping she just laid in bed watching television and that was something that he did not get because for two months she couldn't wait to get out of bed and now, he had trouble getting her out.

Over the past couple of weeks Eddie's concern heightened and he realized that it was much more than exhaustion. She wasn't eating and was losing a lot of weight. Janet, the most caring person he knew, seemed to stop caring. She stopped caring about friends and family. She made excuses so people wouldn't come over and if they're friends or family did come over she holed up in their room, telling everyone she was tired. She stopped caring about their home. Eddie wasn't old-fashioned. He knew that keeping a house clean wasn't only a woman's responsibility and the housework and laundry, they always shared it but now she didn't do anything. Every day the dishes, laundry, and trash continued to pile up. Eddie was doing the best he could to keep up with everything but he was failing, miserably.

What scared him the most was that Janet didn't seem to care about the boys. Yesterday, when he had gotten home from work he found Janet lying on the couch while the boys were either upstairs in their cribs or downstairs in their pak-n-plays. Normally that would have been nothing to worry about but all three boys were sitting in their dirty diapers and screaming. After Eddie yelled at her because he was scared for the boys Janet apologized, said that she fell asleep and swore it wouldn't happen again. Eddie was so concerned about the boys' lack of care that he took today off of work and Janet spent it upstairs in their room, far away from all of them.

When Janet was discharged from the hospital her doctor gave him some information about post-partum depression, something that was always given to new parents. Eddie had read the information from front to back and he was convinced that his wife was suffering from post-partum depression. Knowing that she would never make herself an appointment Eddie scheduled her one for the next day since the boys had their two month checkup and didn't tell her. He hated tricking her but he knew she would never willingly go to the doctor and since they all had the same doctor this seemed to be the best solution. He knew she would be furious with him, but her anger is something that Eddie is more then willing to deal with if she gets better.

"Janet, Eddie I heard the boys screaming. I take it they got all of their shots." Dr. Arnholter said, walking back into the exam room. Eddie had told the nurse the situation with Janet and she had told the doctor who observed Janet during his examination of the triplets. "How did they do?"

"They took it like the men that they are." Eddie said proudly as he worked on strapping the boys back into their car seats.

"Janet how are you adjusting to motherhood?"

"Fine." Dr. Arnholter knew she was lying. Under the pretense of going to the bathroom, Eddie met Dr. Arnholter out in the hall and filled him in on what was going on with Janet and his concerns.

"So you're getting enough sleep?"

"Of course not but what new mother does?"

"I have some concerns Janet."

"With the boys?"

"No. I have concerns about you."

"Me? I'm just a little tired but I'm fine." Eddie finished strapping in the last baby and then he took a seat next to Janet.

"Eddie has told me what's been going on with you." Janet turned and glared at her husband.

"He had nothing to tell. Everything is fine."

"I've been observing you during the boys' exam I noticed that you just stood by the side of the exam table and didn't answer any questions that I asked. Eddie did all of the talking and my nurse said that when she gave them their shots Eddie was the one who comforted the boys after their shots."

"It is a crime to sit quietly?"

"Something is wrong Janet. Remember a couple days ago when I came home from work and found our boys, in their cribs, wearing dirty clothes, sitting in their dirty diapers, screaming because they were starving and that scared the hell out of me. How long did you leave them alone Janet? Do you have any idea what could have happened if I didn't come home when I did?" Eddie had tears in her eyes and Janet's only response was too start crying. "You wanted these babies so bad and now you act like you can't stand the sight of them."

"I…I….I can't stand to hear them cry. Whenever I do, I get so angry so I stay away from them and when they aren't crying, I don't want to hold them. I don't want anything to do with them." Janet fell into Eddie's arms and sobbed. "Wha…what is wrong with me?" She cried into her husband's arms.

"Janet you have post-partum depression."

"I don't understand. I wanted to be a mother more than anything."

"Post-partum depression has nothing to do with your desire to be a mother. A pregnant woman's hormones are out of control and usually everything returns to normal a few weeks after giving birth but in some cases they don't and when that happens it's known as post-partum depression. It's very prevalent in patients who have had complications during their pregnancy and you definitely had complications." Dr. Arnholter explained to his crying patient.

"You can treat it right?" Eddie asked.

"Yes. I'm going to give you a prescription. Now it's going to take a couple of weeks before you start to feel better but you will feel better."

"And I will be able to love my babies?" Janet asked tearfully.

"The issue here is not about loving your children. I believe that you love them. Eddie believes that you love the boys and deep down you believe it too. Right now, you are just having trouble showing them your love but I promise you that you will be able to be the mother that you have always dreamed of being. Now I know that this is going to bother you Janet but for the next two weeks, until the medicine has taken effect, I am recommending that you are not left alone with your children."

"Do you …can I…will I hurt them?"

"No sweetheart. You couldn't hurt them." Eddie insisted through his tears.

"Janet, do you think that you could hurt your children?" Dr. Arnholter asked.

"I don't want to hurt them."

"I don't think that you will but I want to play it safe." Janet nodded through her tears. "I also want you to call me everyday to let me know how you are feeling because if I need to change your medication I would rather do it sooner than later. Do you have any questions?"

"Will I have to be on the medicine for the rest of my life?"

"Six months to a year. We'll play that by ear. Anything else?" Eddie and Janet shook their heads. "Okay. I'm going to get your prescription. I'll be right back."

"Things are going to get better baby." Eddie whispered.

"I…I…hope so." Janet was praying that he was right.

Three weeks later

Eddie walked into his house and was instantly inhaling the wonderful scent of his favorite food, Lasagna. He found all three boys in the living room in their swings. "Hey guys. How was your day?" He greeted all of them with a kiss and then he followed his nose to the kitchen.

He found Janet at the counter putting together a salad and he just stood there quietly, watching her. The woman he married was back. When Janet first started taking the medicine it was hard on her, especially the fact that someone had to be at the house with her but when the medication started kicking in Eddie noticed a difference immediately. They were little changes at first, she was out of bed more, and she spent the evenings and weekends with Eddie instead of in bed. She began to do her share of housework, cooking again and finally, she began spending time with her boys, holding and cuddling with them. She was being the mother that she had always wanted to be; the mom Eddie always knew she was.

"Hey. I didn't hear you come in." Janet said when she turned around and saw him standing there. He walked over and kissed her.

"How was your day?" She had been on her own with the boys for a week and as far as he could see, Janet was handling things well.

"It was really good. The boys and I are getting into a routine."

"They look really content hanging out in their swings."

"Jax hates the swing. He screams every time I put him in it but as soon as he starts moving and the music starts playing, he chills out. You would think by now he would quit fighting me but he doesn't. Josh and Jake, they don't care. They go in with no problem but not Jax." Eddie grinned because he knew exactly what she had been through because he had been through it himself.

"Smells good in here."

"I made you're favorite. I thought that we could have a nice dinner."

"I would like that. Is there anything I can do?"

"Would you bring the swings into the dining room so we could have our first family dinner? It's long overdue."

"Sounds like a great idea."

After their enjoyable family dinner and once the kitchen was cleaned it was bath time for the boys, an extremely long process. While Janet bathed one boy at a time, Eddie was undressing/dressing the other two and when the bath was done Eddie gave Janet the dry baby and he took the wet, squirming one. An hour later the baths were done Janet was soaking wet but she couldn't be happier.

"Are they sleeping?" Eddie had come into the nursery and found Janet in the rocking chair nursing Jackson.

"Jake and Josh are and Jackson is almost there." Janet pulled her son away from her breast and moved him to her shoulder so he could burp which he did a minute later.

"Let me put him to bed." Janet kissed the top of Jackson's head. "I love you." She whispered as Eddie took him out of her arms.

"Did I tell you that last night they slept for three hours before they woke up to eat?" Janet asked him when they got out into the hall.

"Oh really? That's good to know. I'm glad that they are sleeping more." Eddie said nonchalantly. He knew what she was hinting at and he wanted to torment her.

"During the day the boys never sleep at the same time during the day so it's nice to actually have some free time."

"I brought some paperwork home from the shop. This is the perfect time to get some work done."

"Okay. I think that I'm going to take a long hot bath."

"Enjoy yourself." Eddie kissed on the cheek, patted her butt and walked away, grinning to himself.

As soon as he heard the bathwater start to run he returned upstairs to their bedroom. Janet had left the bathroom door open a crack so Eddie became a Peeping Tom, watching her strip. As soon as her last article of clothing fell to the floor he walked into the bathroom. "I decided that my paperwork could wait." Before Janet could process what in the hell was going on Eddie had his hands around her waist and was sitting her on top of the bathroom counter.

"You bastard." Janet said with a grin as Eddie shucked his clothes. "You were screwing with me."

"Not yet but I plan on it very soon." Eddie kicked out of his pants and boxers and then grabbed Janet's legs, spread them apart and speared inside of her.

"Oh my God." They both moaned at the feeling of being one again. Janet wrapped her legs around Eddie and he leaned forward and he just kissed her until she started moving her hips against him. Eddie unwrapped her legs, bent them until her feet were sitting on top of the counter. He rested his palms on her knees and pounded furiously in and out of his beloved wife. Janet desperately clung to Eddie as her lower back was being jammed against the faucet but hat didn't stop her from matching his every thrust.

"Oh…Ohhhh….ahhh…"Janet groaned. "Eddie…Eddie…I…" With a final moan that seemed to come from deep within her Janet was bucking against his body as she shook from her orgasm. Watching Janet fall apart in front of him was all he needed to topple over the edge himself. Eddie's head fell onto Janet's shoulder and Janet wrapped her arms around his back and they just held each other while their breathing returned to normal.

"Do you still want that bath?" He mumbled.

"No way in hell."

"Good because I'm not even close to being done with you."

"I should be really pissed at you for messing with me."

"But you're not are you?"

"No and only because the sex that we just had was so amazing."

"You ain't seen nothing yet." Eddie lifted Janet from the sink and carried her to their bed.

"I love you Eddie." Janet whispered tenderly as Eddie loomed above her.

"I've missed you. God, it was horrible to watch you suffer."

"I'm sorry that I put you through all that."

"It wasn't your fault. I'm just glad that you are getting better."

"I love you." She repeated as a tear slipped from her eye. "I am so lucky to have you. Anyone else would have left me." Eddie kissed her tear away.

"I'm never going anywhere. I love you Janet, very much." He lowered herself on top of her and kissed her passionately.

Joshua woke up three and a half hours later and Janet and Eddie had made love twice more/ They were trying to make up for lost time but more importantly they were just savoring the time that they were spending together as lovers, something that had been missing from their lives for the last six months. As Eddie held Janet in his arms, after their final orgasm of the night Janet couldn't believe that he didn't give up on her. She knew that if it would have been anyone else in her life, that man would have left her but not Eddie. If he would have left her she wouldn't have faulted him; she treated him like crap and she didn't deserve him but he didn't walk away. He fought for their love and their family but more importantly, he fought for her. He fought to help her heal and he fought because he loved her, a fact that still amazed Janet Latekka. The man in her arms loved her more than anything and she loved him just as much and if the time ever came that Eddie needed her to fight for him, she was ready. She hoped that time would never come but if it did, she would fight with everything she had for the man she loved.