Announcement: I've got a busy schedule this week. Mainly Thanksgiving is gonna be busy since I'm the one who's gonna be making the whole feast this year :D! So Chapter 14 will be updated on Sunday. If I have enough time I might be able to update on Thursday but it's not 100% certain.
Thank you for all those who review, favorite, alert, and read! You're all lovely people :3 I had quite a bit of trouble making the flashbacks perfect...so sorry if they're a bit odd or poorly written...Izaya's is a bit short. SORRY. Anyway, please enjoy and review if you're able to, I love them to pieces~
Izaya's POV
I know I'm going to regret recalling this memory, but the brute wants to know so I'll tell him.
Flashback (Izaya's POV)
Shizu-chan was busy talking with Shinra to notice me a couple lockers behind him. I had the letter in my hands and although most of the guys stayed cleared of me because I wasn't too social they kept asking me if it was a love letter from a girl. I told them I'd cut their balls off if they continued to pester me. That shut them up pretty quickly since they noticed it'd be too easy to do so since they were in their boxers. I listened and waited for the right moment to ask Shizu-chan to walk with me. I was going to tell him that I wanted to talk with him along the way, but…
"Hey Shizuo what are you doing after school?" Shinra asks Shizu-chan. As they converse I watch Shizu-chan remove his shirt…Shizu-chan is really attractive with or without clothes. I suppose I'm a bit ashamed to say that I've watched him shower a couple times, though I've never seen him fully naked, just gotten down to his waist because I'd be in a horribly uncomfortable situation if one of the guys say be staring.
"I don't know…probably just gonna stay home since tomorrow's Sunday." I was glad by this point to know that he wasn't going anywhere special so I took this as my opportunity to ask.
"Shizu-chan~!" I say happily as the rest of the guys in the locker room leave.
"What the fuck do you want, flea?"
"Ne, I was just wondering if you wanted to walk home together~"
"Get lost flea. No way in hell I'd walk with you." I knew it wasn't going to be easy; Shizu-chan never made things easy.
"Shizu-chan…" At this point he just ignores me and walks over to go catch up with Kadota and Shinra. I feel quite hurt by this since I wasn't even trying to piss him off this time, so I grab one of the left over basketballs near the gym teacher's locker and toss it at his head. He apparently didn't like this and turned around fuming before chasing after me.
"IZZZAAAAAAYAAAA-KUN!"
"I wasn't trying to make you mad Shizu-chan! I just wanted to walk with you, you damn brute!"
"Like hell I'd ever walk with you, you fucking parasite!" I hold onto the letter more tightly, not wanting Shizu-chan to see it anymore. If he had, I assumed he would rip it up regardless if he read it or not. I decided to just focus on escaping the monster. "Get back here so I can strangle you!" It's in the same spot where Shizu-chan and I are standing now that he finally catches up to me and grabs the hood of my jacket before pulling me towards him. He grabs onto the collar of my shirt and looks at me with fierce eyes. "First you make me have a lousy day because you show up this morning and then piss me off throughout the whole day. Now, you want to walk home together as if we're buddies?" He kind of shakes me around as if I'm a ragdoll before tossing me to the ground.
"Shizu-chan's this mad because I hit you in the head with a basketball?" I ask him as I dust off my pants.
"No, I'm this mad because you're always causing me trouble and I'm sick and tired of it. Today was the worst day I've ever had because you kept playing pranks on me all morning, then you made me get in trouble so I had to stay after class and speak with the damn teacher, and not to mention that you freaking made me toss my lunch at you so I had nothing to eat for lunch."
"It's your fault you have that awful temper." I say in defense. I can feel the letter in the pocket of my jacket but I don't dare pull it out.
"I may have this temper but it's a hundred times worse when you're around. You make me hate myself much more than when you're not around." He pauses for a moment before continuing. "Just get out of my life, you damn louse." I let go of the letter in my pocket and take my hands out as you turn to leave. I turn my head as I feel the tears start to form in my eyes, I quickly dry them with the sleeve of my jacket before anyone sees me crying.
End of Flashback
After telling Shizu-chan of the story he said he wanted to explain what had possessed him to behave so cruelly to me—besides the fact that he's always been quite aggressive and unpredictable. He fidgets a bit as he tries to find the words. He looks at me awkwardly and then exhales.
Shizuo's POV
I really don't want to tell him why I had yelled at him so fiercely that day—more so than I had usually done. I mean, I guess I should clear things up since I did have reasons for why I had said what I said and why I was more mad than usual. Well…
Flashback (Shizuo's POV)
Our class just finished playing basketball in the courts, so we all head to the locker rooms to get changed and to head out. Shinra and I head over to our lockers which are across from each other while the flea heads over a couple lockers away in a different row. Izaya usually changes pretty quickly since he's always the first one out. But this time he's taking his time about it. I've never actually watched him changing to know he's fast.
"I'm gonna go get a towel." I say as I head over to the supply closet. After I get what I need I suddenly notice something that I never cared to notice before. He's not facing me so he can't see me staring at him. I guess I never bothered to notice how creamy his skinned looks, how slim his body is, how nice his…Shit I can't be looking at a guy's ass, that breaks all the codes of manliness, not to mention it's the flea's ass! I shake it off and try to remember how to walk, but something down south isn't letting me. Then the most horrible image I can think of pops in my head and I can't get it out.
Gah! I pictured the flea naked! There's so many things wrong with what I just saw…And what's worse is that I got turned on by it!
I quickly head over to my locker and try to calm down, but I think I'm blushing. I really don't want anyone to notice, especially Izaya since he takes notice of everything. I sit down and wipe the sweat off my face with the towel. I feel a bit more relaxed, but I have to get out of here before that parasite bugs me (like he always does). I don't know how I'm gonna be able to face him now…I decide to skip the shower since that'll take too much time. I wet the towel a bit and then take off my shirt before washing myself.
"Hey Shizuo what are you doing after school?" Shinra asks me out of the blue. I forgot he was standing right next to me. He's already in his uniform casually packing up his stuff.
"I don't know…probably just gonna stay home since tomorrow's Sunday." Sunday is the only day away from the damn flea. Of course I would just want to relax at home. Kasuka is going out with friends tonight to go see some dumb movie and Shinra told me already that he's going to have a "romantic dinner for two" with Celty. I doubt she'll agree to it though.
"Shizu-chan~!" Oh no…Damn it…
"What the fuck do you want, flea?" I say angrily, trying not to turn around and look at him, unless I want to feel terribly awkward, not to mention I might get turned on with just the memory of my stupid daydream.
"Ne, I was just wondering if you wanted to walk home together~" Why is it that the day when I really, really don't want to interact with the flea is the day when he wants to walk home with me? God…This isn't going to end well.
"Get lost flea. No way in hell I'd walk with you." I say as the mere sound of his voice is starting to stir some stupid feelings. God…if he were to moan what would it sound like? I shake the thought from my mind as I start to feel something down south again. I walk away from Izaya and try to clear my mind.
"Shizu-chan…" I barely hear the flea say before I feel something hit the back of my head. I turn around and see the damn flea nervously smiling at me. The basketball he threw at the back of my head is bouncing off to the side, with an echo dominating the locker room. I glare at the parasite before clenching my fists in my frustration. That was the final straw, not because he made me mad, but because he made me turn around and look at him and now I'm feeling uncomfortable and frustrated about the feelings I'm experiencing. It's even more irritating being turned on like this because of the damn flea and not being able to just go home and get my mind off it. "Ne…Shizu-chan…I didn't…"
I take a step forward menacingly, which makes him run off in an instant, out the back exit of the locker room. I chase after him immediately, in a fit of rage.
"IZZZAAAAAAYAAAA-KUN!" I yell as I follow the flea downtown. He doesn't seem too into the chase; he's usually really cocky and playful when I'm running after him, but today he seems disinterested and reluctant to "play".
"I wasn't trying to make you mad Shizu-chan! I just wanted to walk with you, you damn brute!" He says as he turns the corner. I crash into some people before getting back on track.
"Like hell I'd ever walk with you, you fucking parasite!" I say as we continue running through the crowds and even on the roads. "Get back here so I can strangle you!" He seems to be running faster until he turns the corner into a dead end alley. I approach him threateningly as I glare at him. "First you make me have a lousy day because you show up this morning and then piss me off throughout the whole day. Now, you want to walk home together as if we're buddies?"
"Shizu-chan's this mad because I hit you in the head with a basketball?" He asks as he backs away from me. He's holding onto something in his jacket pocket. I don't know if it's one of his knives or something else. If it was a knife, he would have brought it out already.
"No, I'm this mad because you're always causing me trouble and I'm sick and tired of it. Today was the worst day I've ever had because you kept playing pranks on me all morning, then you made me get in trouble so I had to stay after class and speak with the damn teacher, and not to mention that you freaking made me toss my lunch at you so I had nothing to eat for lunch."
"It's your fault you have that awful temper."
"I may have this temper but it's a hundred times worse when you're around. You make me hate myself much more than when you're not around." I pause before letting my frustration finally give way. "Just get out of my life, you damn louse." I say icily before turning away from me and leaving him there in the alley. Before leaving I caught a glimpse of how Izaya looked after I said what I had said. I didn't expect him to be so heartbroken and hurt; he looked like he was on the verge of tears. I didn't even know that was possible. I quickly shake the memory away as I walk off, heading home to try and forget everything that happened today, especially all the confusing feelings I felt not too long ago.
When I get home Kasuka tells me that his friends cancelled the plans they had made since one of his friends had gotten sick.
"Is something wrong?" Kasuka asks simply.
"Why…does it look like something is wrong with me?"
"I didn't ask if something was wrong with you in particular; I asked if anything was wrong generally speaking."
"What the fuck is the difference?" I ask in irritation.
"Well, did something bad happen? Let's put it that way." Kasuka says dully.
"No…nothing…nothing happened…"
"Did something happen with Izaya-kun?" Kasuka asks as he looks at me knowingly. I can't really hide anything from Kasuka since he knows a lot about what happens with me. And he's been really suspicious about my relationship with that maggot for a while now…
"That damn flea just pissed me off like usual. Don't worry about it." I say as I head upstairs to my bedroom. Kasuka seemed a bit unconvinced when I gave him that answer but I rather just leave it at that. I lie in my bed and try to sleep off the day, but it's difficult to forget that crying face. Damn it's killing me…If I could just…kiss the tears away…No, fuck no. That's the last thing I'd do; he and I hate each other. But then why was he so hurt by what I said? I always tell him to leave me alone, to go die, or to fall into the nearest garbage can where he belongs. Why was he so sensitive today? Why would he be so sensitive at all? He's the flea!
Geez…I'm sorry…
End of Flashback
After telling him everything that happened that day and why I had blown up at him the way I did he looks at me in disbelief before trying to stab me in the face. I catch the blade of course, but it sure was close. I crush his hand slightly to make him release the knife before holding onto him in a strong embrace.
"You made me cry just because you were pissed at me for making you horny! I fucking hate you! Let go of me!" He struggles in my grip but I don't let him go. I know he's gonna try and hurt me anyway possible. And I was right. Though I'm holding onto his wrists, I didn't secure his legs. He hits me in the groin with his knee, but I still hold onto his wrists. "Let go of me! Let go!" I sigh as I try to compose myself so I don't do anything hasty. I casually tie his hood so it's covering his face and then carry him on my back. His voice is muffled by the fact that it's covered so I can't really hear what he's yelling. I walk through the streets of Ikebukuro until I manage to find what I'm looking for. I pick the flea up and carefully place him on a traffic sign, making him hang on it; he's pretty much just struggling to get loose at this point. People ignore us, heck they stay away, far away from us. "Where are you?! I can't see anything, you damn brute! Get me down from wherever I am, you baboon!"
"Listen, will you?!" I shout at him angrily. "I know what I did was wrong, but I'm trying to make up for it, you damn louse."
"You can make up for it by heading into the middle of the street and getting run over by a truck!" Izaya says as he unties his hood from his face and glares at me.
"I get it. You're mad."
"I'm past mad! I'm fucking furious!" He struggles more, but still doesn't get loose. He continues to slander and degrade me, making me feel completely guilty and heartbroken since he's saying some pretty nasty things, bad nasty, not perverted nasty. I plan to wait until he's settled down to talk to him so I sit down on the sidewalk and watch him wiggle and throw a tantrum.
A couple hours later he's pretty tired, doesn't have the strength to even continue move his arms so I stand up after picking up some change people gave me (probably thought I was poor) and look at Izaya hanging there.
"Are you done?"
"Yes, please just get me down now…" Izaya asks as he sounds out of breath. I release him from the sign and he falls flat on his face. "Thank you…" He says simply as his face gets to know the pavement on an entirely new level.
"Are you gonna get up?"
"No, I like being on the ground, just leave me alone for a while…" He says, his face still firmly planted there on the concrete. People passing by toss some quarters at him. One hits his head, which receives a soft "ow" from the flea.
"Look, I think we both have had enough of this crap." I say as I put my hand on his head, stroking his head affectionately. People are still staring, but I don't mind. "I'm sorry okay? I'm really sorry." Izaya groans a bit before muttering something that I couldn't hear. "What?"
"I said…I hate you." I pet his head and pick him up off the concrete. He dusts himself off before his cat ears twitch uncomfortably. As if by some unknown force, I try to comfort him by pressing my face close to his and licking his cheek once. He pushes me away and rubs off my saliva from his cheek. Without a word, he walks off, looking still kind of upset. I follow after him and try to persuade him to forgive me along the way to his apartment. He continues to ignore me all the while.
When we finally make it to his apartment he prevents me from going inside. He tells me to stay out in the hallway and freeze to death. Of course even if I'm an obedient dog, I'm not following that order. He closes the door and locks it so I don't get in, but I think he doesn't take into account that I can just tear the door off its hinges, but oddly enough I don't even try. I sit on the floor like a good dog and wait…
Izaya's POV
I think he's still outside. I'm really depressed about what just happened between the two of us. I mean, the story he told…his confession…the way he seems to affectionately comfort me. I really want to stay true to my plan and make him suffer for all that he's done. Now that I know that he likes me, not liking him back will be revenge enough. Now that he's a dog he's needier and longs for attention and love, so the revenge will surely work. But…Shizu-chan is finally treating me kindly and every time I don't respond the way he wants me to or refuse to give into my feelings, he seems distraught and it hurts me.
I can hear whining through the door. I know he's still out there but I can't bring myself to let him inside, not after knowing the stupid reason why he hurt me so viciously that day. But then again he actually confessed that he's sexually attracted towards me. He likes me…There are things in this world that people tend try and restrain themselves from…for one there's cake (just to give an example), then there's lust and greed (probably sinful things or things which are immoral), but for me…it's Shizu-chan. I suppose in hindsight I have no right to torment him since I've already made his life hell. I made him lose his job, made get in trouble a lot in high school, continued to pester and toy with him in recent years, and caused a lot of stress…
I sit on my couch and rub my temples. It's frustrating…really it is…
"I'll have to sleep on it…I'll…I'll decide in the morning." I whisper to myself.
"Alright I'll be out here!" Shizu-chan says dully. I'm taken aback by his voice since I forgot that he has keen senses, including his sense of hearing.
I head off to my bedroom after staring at my front door one last time. I change into my pajamas and head into bed, covering my entire body (including my face). I start purring as I start to drift off to sleep. My purring might also be because of me thinking about Shizu-chan holding me in his strong arms like last night. Yes, I was quite aware of him holding me. It felt so serene and comforting to feel him against me. I want to be able to feel like that again…
The next morning I wake up in a daze, but then remember yesterday's drama. I sigh as I uncover myself and toss the sheets to the side. I head over to my front door, carefully pressing my ear to the door to hear any indication that Shizu-chan still might be out there. And wouldn't you know it, I hear snoring. Well, I did say I'd have a decision by this morning. Of course, Shizu-chan just had to hear me say that.
I open the door and head outside in my robe since I didn't even bother to put on a shirt or pants. I kneel next to the sleeping beast and play with his dog ears. I then run my fingers through his blonde locks and sigh. I look at his tail, which seems to be wagging happily because of me touching him and feel distraught. I can't let him off that easily. I want to have him beg for my affection and love.
"Wake up, protozoan." I say as I shake him a bit. God, it's so cold out here in the hallway; I don't know how he can stand it. "Shizu-chan, Shizu-chan!" He's drooling now which makes him look both extremely stupid and cute.
"Ngh, five more minutes Mom…" He mutters in his sleep.
"You temperamental, overgrown baboon, I'm not your mother now get up." He stirs a bit before opening his eyes. "You're too persistent for your own good. Why would you stay out here in the freezing cold like this?"
"I've seen it in romantic movies." Shizu-chan answers dully as he shrugs. "Are you still mad at me?" He asks as he gets up off the ground and stares at me for a moment.
"No…" I say reluctantly. "I've calmed down." His tail portrays his happiness. He fixes his sunglasses on the brim of his noise and coughs nervously. "Well, how about we put all of that behind us and just continue to be 'friends'?" I say a bit quickly. He seems unsatisfied by this suggestion, which surprises me (he always does). "I have to get ready for a meeting I have today so…" He grabs onto my hand and looks at me with a stern expression on his face.
"I don't want to leave it at that."
"Well, where do you want to leave it at? Because right now, you're making me quite impatient, so much so that I'd like to leave 'it'—whatever that it may be—in the middle of a busy highway." I say with frustration as I try to get loose from his grip. He stays true to his title as "strongest man in Ikebukuro" and holds onto my wrists without any intention of letting me go. Thick-headed gorilla.
"I want to leave it at this." He says before leaning in and kissing my lips softly, so softly that I couldn't tell if this was really Shizu-chan who was kissing me. He doesn't pull away yet; I'm assuming he won't until I begin to kiss him back. I have to resist though. I can't let him off that easy. He then wraps his arm (the one not holding onto my wrists) around my waist and pulls our bodies closer. I feel really lightheaded by this point and I just want him to let go. I try to get my hands free since he's only holding them with one hand, but to no avail. Suddenly I feel his tongue lightly travel against my lips in an effort to persuade me to open my mouth. After a couple soft licks he pries my mouth himself with his tongue. Well, the tongue is just a muscle…a very strong muscle and since it's Shizu-chan I suppose it's even stronger. At this point, I'm feeling uncomfortable (seeing as I'm still quite mad at him because of yesterday) so I bite his bottom lip.
He backs off and rubs his sore lip before glaring at me.
The fur on my tail and ears sticks up in annoyance as he glares at me. He understands these signs I suppose, and leaves me be.
"Look, I just want to be left alone…" He reaches for my hand again, but I dodge him. I glare at him before heading inside. I run my fingers through my hair and try to calm down. It's nothing to be upset over…but I can't do this…Perhaps this wouldn't work after all…we're not exactly perfect for each other. I'm sure if we were in a relationship, it would go sour in a week or two. I hear a faint knock at the door. It's soft, but I know it's Shizu-chan. "Go away I don't want to see you, Shizu-chan!" I say angrily. His persistence is annoying at a moment like this. It hurts to do this, but it also hurts to be with him…My brain is telling me to take revenge, but my heart is telling me that my brain needs to be run over by an airplane…
A/N: If there are any mistakes, forgive me. Was it Horrible? Stupid? Nice? Wonderful? Please let me know...the flashbacks were my hardest mountain I had to climb. Please review!