When I make it back to my truck, I slam the door and look back out the window. Daryl is nowhere to be seen. I sigh and sit back in my seat. He looked so upset when I yelled at him. Did he feel guilty for what he did? I couldn't help but feel hurt that he would do something like that though. I had started to trust these people, him most of all, after he seemed so worried about me the night before. I flushed a bit when I remembered the way he checked me for bites, his large hands on me. I shake my head. These thoughts only make me feel more betrayed.

I start folding the clothes that were given to me last night and take my journals and maps out of my backpack. I carefully write everything I could remember from yesterday. I mark on the map the route I took to get here, where the hospital with the vatos was. I log how many Infected I remember seeing on which streets and estimate how many were at the camp last night. There were definitely a lot, which gets me thinking. Cities have the most Infected, it makes sense. Disease spreads fastest in communities with the highest population densities. They must be starting to migrate further out of the cities, just like I did. Obviously, it's not just supplies that are running low in the city, but food for the Infected as well. It was strange though, so many Infected all attacking at the same time. I'm used to seeing them in groups, but never ones this large, this far out of the city.

I pack my things back up and grab the clothes to return to whoever lent them to me. But first, I head back to the RV. Jim is only slipping further and further away. I want to spend as much time with him as I can, before he's gone.

I go inside the RV and walk all the way to the back, where Jim is resting. There's a small woman with short grey hair dabbing him with a wet towel. They both look up at me, so I introduce myself to her.

"My name is Ashlyn Turner," I hold my hand out to her, "thank you for taking care of him."

She gives my hand a gentle shake and says, "I know, he's told me about you." She smiles at me. "Carol Peletier." She stands up, putting the towel down. "I'll give you two some privacy."

I nod at her and take her place next to Jim. I spend the next couple hours talking to him. He occasionally coughs up blood, or puts his head back to rest, but he tells me about all the people at camp. He tells me about Rick's family. How nice Lori is and how their son, Carl, reminds him of his own son, Kenny. He tells me how Rick only got to camp a couple days ago, that his family had thought he was dead. Until then, Shane had been the leader of the group. He tells me about Carol and how her husband used to abuse her. He died last night though, attacked by walkers. That's what they called the Infected apparently, walkers. She also has a daughter, Sophia. The blond woman who was holding her dead sister is Andrea. There's also an older man, Dale, that likes reading and listening to people's problems. Everyone he talks about seems like good people. Except the Dixons, which is apparently Daryl's last name. Him and his brother, Merle, seem to be less excepted around camp and more tolerated for their hunting abilities. I had heard Merle's name before, when they realized their van was missing. Jim explains everything that had happened. During a run into town, Glenn found Rick and brought him to the rest of the group. When Merle started causing trouble, being racist toward T-Dog, Rick handcuffed him to the roof. When walkers came, they had to leave him up there. A search party went back for him, but all they found was his sawed off hand on the roof. The way he describes Merle, Daryl seems to be the better of the brothers. Although Jim isn't too fond of Daryl either, considering he tried killing him just this morning.

Our conversation is interrupted by Rick and Lori coming into the RV. Rick says he needs to speak to Jim, so I leave with Lori under the pretext we're getting him water.

I remember the clothes I borrowed and return them to Lori, thanking her for taking care of me.

"Oh, it's no problem. Rick says you helped them get back to camp," she looks me in the eyes very sincerely, "Thank you for that."

"It's nothing," I mumble, remembering how I almost left them stranded.

"Well, it means a lot to us. We're all very grateful for what you did." She pauses before continuing, "I also wanted to ask you about what you plan to do next."

She's so straight forward, I'm thrown off for a moment. I was planning to talk to Rick about this, but I suppose talking to Lori is just as good. "I'm going wherever Jim goes, until he's gone that is," I say, looking down. "And then I'll be on my way."

Lori stops walking and says very softly, "You know you're welcome to stay with us. We would love to have you."

I smile a little, "I'm not so sure about that." Remembering the conversation between Rick and Shane, I doubt it would make everyone happy to hear I'm staying. Besides, I've done much better on my own than I have in the last 24 hours with these people. I keep that to myself though.

"Well, think on it will you? I know it's what Rick wants and I know Glenn and T-Dog like you, too."

I just nod, unsure how to respond. From the beginning, this was always temporary. Even now, I'm only here because of Jim. We get the water and return to the RV. Lori stays outside to talk to Shane though, and I go in alone. I give Jim the water and move to sit by him, but Rick asks to talk to me outside. I glance at Jim who nods for me to leave, so I walk out with Rick.

It seems like Shane and Lori were having a serious conversation that stops when they see us. They say they were discussing Fort Benning, but it seems like they were hiding something. None of my business. I'll be gone by later today, maybe tomorrow morning, the way Jim is looking.

Rick and Shane excuse themselves to go sweep the perimeter, looking for any walkers nearby while Lori goes off to find her son, Carl. I'm about to head back into the RV when a middle age woman, a bit older than me comes up. From what Jim told me, I recognize her as Jacqui. Jim had spoken kindly of her, saying they talked a lot and had become good friends.

"Excuse me," she says, "you're Ashlyn, aren't you?" I nod. She has a very polite, soft way of speaking. "Jim's told me so much about you and your sister. I'm Jacqui."

"I know, Jim's told me about you, too. It's nice to meet you."

"You've spent so much time in this RV, taking care of Jim. If you wanted, I could take the next shift," she says, almost shyly.

I can tell she really just wants to talk to Jim, to have her time with him, just like I had mine. I step back from the door and give her a weak smile. "That would be nice, thank you very much. I'm sure he'll be happy to see you, too." She smiles back and heads into the RV. I'm glad Jim made such good friends. Mel would've wanted it that way.

Standing awkwardly outside the RV, I wonder where this leaves me. Everyone seems to be busy, preparing food, packing their things. They all seem to realize they won't be staying here any longer. As dangerous as this location may be, it's sad they'll have to move on. It's such a beautiful camp ground. I decide to do a little exploring, but first I get one of my many notebooks and some pencils from my truck.

As a kid, I always loved nature. I went through a phase where I would learn about and collect all sorts of plants and insects, keeping a log of what I found. Mel would bring me any little weeds she found and ask me what they were.

I head down to a gorgeous clearing with a large lake in the middle. Before I get to work checking out the wildlife, I strip down to my underwear and take a quick bath in the lake, rubbing all the remaining dirt and blood off my body and out of my hair. I wash my clothes and lay them out to dry. While I wait, I pick up my notebook and start sketching a deerberry bush.

I suddenly notice footsteps approaching and spin around, reaching for my crowbar. A startled looking Carol and a little girl, who I guess is her daughter, stare back. I exhale and put my weapon down.

"We didn't mean to sneak up on you, we just came down to see the lake one last time," the woman says. "Oh, and this is my daughter, Sophia. Sophia, this is Ashlyn, Jim's friend."

"Nice to meet you," the little girl says, quietly from behind her mom.

"Nice to meet you, too," I smile, noticing her trying to glance at my notebook. "Want to see?"

She nods and walks over. I hand her the notebook and she starts flipping through it. "These are really good!"

"Thanks."

Carol glances over Sophia'a shoulder at the drawings, all lined with scientific names and little facts about the plants. "That's pretty impressive," she says nicely.

"Just a hobby," I reply, but she looks at me a little skeptical.

"You must be really smart to know all of that. What did you do, before all this chaos?" I can tell she's only asking out of curiosity, but I rather not talk too much about it. None of it matters anymore and it just reminds me how much of my life I wasted on it.

"I was in research, mostly things about protecting the environment. Not things we really have to worry about anymore," I respond, lightheartedly, as I walk over to my clothes and start getting dressed.

Despite my tone, she seems to pick up that I don't like talking about it. "I'm sure your work was very interesting."

Before I could change the subject and ask her what she did, Lori calls out to us from the direction of camp, "We're about to talk about some things, why don't you two come on back?"

Carol, Sophia, and I make it back to camp and see everyone sitting around the fire pit. Glenn waves to me from across the pit, so I head over and sit by him. It looks like everyone's there, waiting to see what Shane has to say. Daryl is sitting directly across from me. I catch him glance over at me, but he looks away the second I see him, clearing his throat. What the fuck does he want? If he has something to say to me, he should've said it back by the truck.

"I've been thinking about Rick's plan," Shane starts, "Now look, there are no—uh, no guarantees either way. I'll be the first one to admit that. I've known this man a long time, I trust his instincts. I say the most important thing here is we need to stay together. So those of you that agree, we leave first thing in the morning." The group remains silent, some people look surprised but most people just seem to be taking in what he says, and what it means for them. "Okay?" Some people nod but after a moment, the group breaks up. They go off, some in small groups to talk it over, others by themselves with no one to discuss it with.

Glenn looks over at me and asks, "What do you think? About going to the CDC?" He's looking at me carefully, like he's trying to figure something out.

I think about it for a moment. Will the CDC still be up and running like Rick believes it is? Most likely not. I knew some of the people there, people I met through work. Talked to them even, about what was happening. What Rick doesn't realize is that these institutions are made up of people, just like us. They had families and lives outside of their work. Even though I know this, I still wonder: is there anywhere better to go? Again, probably not. And if there is, I couldn't think of where that would be. "I think we don't have too many options left," I say seriously.

"Do you think they'll have a cure?" He doesn't sound hopeful. Just curious about what I think.

"No, there won't be a cure."

Glenn nods. He's a smart guy, he seems to be cut out for this world, as much as a person can anyway. After a long, thoughtful pause he asks me another question. "Will you come with us?" He looks me in the eyes, this time with some hope.

I want to say yes, but it isn't that easy. I was in a group before, very briefly, at the start of it all. Under these conditions, people get reckless. Tensions rise and people do stupid things. I don't want to be part of that again. But these people are different. Especially the way Jim talked about them. Part of me also wants to go to the CDC. See if anything's left. I'm sure I could find plenty of books and information regarding the outbreak. I answer as honestly as I can, "I don't know."

This seems to be good enough for him because he cracks a smile and says, "You should. We've got more of that rice you love so much." Remember the way he found me stuffing my face that morning, I blush and playfully hit him on the arm.

"Careful now, I might just end up eating all of your food if you bring me along," I joke, mentally putting Glenn higher up on my list of reasons to stay with these people.

DARYL

I get up to leave after Shane gives his big talk about Rick bein' a good guy and how we should all go to the CDC. Honestly, it doesn't make any difference to me where we're goin'. I look over and see Red, laughin' it up with Glenn. I remember the way she yelled at me this morning. Even tried shoving me, like that would do something. So I tried killin' her stupid brother-in-law. Who cares? He's good as dead anyways. He could turn any second and bite someone. They should've let me do it and thanked me afterwards for doin' their dirty work for 'em. The way she yelled at me though, it was like watchin' myself yell at everyone when they left Merle for dead. I felt so fuckin' terrible afterwards, I went back out and killed six more squirrels to get my mind off of it. Then she shows up and sits right across from me during the stupid group meeting. I can't catch a fuckin' break around here.

I head over to my tent and start packing my things, getting ready for tomorrow. We're definitely going to be comin' across some walkers if we leave the camp. I wonder how many of these people will actually follow Rick to the CDC. Will Red come? Probably not, she didn't want anything to do with us just a day ago. If it wasn't for Jim, she would've left first thing in the morning. Not that I fucking care or anything.

I try getting some rest for tomorrow, knowing it'll be crazy in the morning. I keep thinking about Red. First I think about the way she yelled at me, then about the way she looked when she ran away from us, terrified and shaking. I remember when I first saw her, back in the city, jump out from behind a car, screamin' like a maniac, wavin' a gun at the vatos. I see her face, the way she turned bright red when I was looking to see if she got bit. Then I remember seeing her in her truck, pulling off her shirt—

The fuck am I thinking about? I shake my head, feeling like Merle and hating myself for it. I keep trying to sleep but I can't seem to do it.

ASHLYN

I spend the night sleeping in Carol's tent, considering they had extra space. I felt bad being there, considering the circumstance of the vacancy, but I didn't have many choices and Carol insisted. Sophia is being less shy around me and I really love her company. On the way to camp, she asked me about some plants and I couldn't help but be reminded of Mel a little. I eat a quick breakfast with them, help them get the rest of their stuff together, and go to check on Jim. He seems well taken care of by Jacqui, but I stick around for a while anyway. His condition has worsened, he isn't always lucid and it looks like he's in a lot of pain.

After a while, we all meet out by the cars. I see Daryl, brooding in the back. I can't help but notice how exhausted he looks. Around his eyes are dark circles and he keeps trying not to yawn. Did he stay up all night getting ready? That didn't seem likely, but he must not of gotten much sleep. I don't even realize I'm staring at him until he catches me. I look away, embarrassed, but still feel his eyes on me.

"Alright, listen up," Shane says, all attention on him, "those of you with C.B.s, we're gonna be on channel 40. Let's keep the chatter down, okay? Now you got a problem, can't get a signal, anything at all, you're gonna hit your horn one time. That'll stop the caravan. Any questions?"

"We're uh, we're not going," Morales says.

"We have family in Birmingham. We want to be with our people," his wife says.

Shane, Rick, and the rest of the group seem surprised but they all say their goodbyes and we're on our way. Glenn drives my truck for me while I ride in the back of the RV with Jim and Jacqui. Every bump and every turn looks agonizing for Jim as he struggles to stay conscious.

We don't make it far when the RV starts to rumble. It slows to a stop and I share a look with Jacqui as we hear Dale get out. It doesn't take long before I hear other voices congregating outside the RV, talking about the broken hose. Just then, Jim grabs my wrist tightly and I see his face scrunched in extreme pain.

"Stop… stop.." he says through clenched teeth.

I put my hand over his and tell him, "You'll be alright, Jim, just a little longer."

"No… stop." I can tell from the way he looks at me that he's lucid. Biting my lip, I look at a panicked Jacqui and nod to her. She runs out to tell the others. I never expected him to make it, honestly. It's really amazing he's made it this far without turning.

I can hear Jacqui's frantic voice from in here, "Y'all—Jim, it's bad. I don't think he can take anymore."

After some quick discussion between Shane and Rick about getting the RV going again, I hear footsteps coming into the RV. I see Rick coming to the back, looking like the weight of the world is on his shoulders.

He looks at me for a long time before addressing Jim. "We'll be back on the road soon."

"Oh no," Jim replies hastily, "Christ. My bones—my bones are like glass. Every little bump—God, this ride is killing me." He looks out the window, glances at me, then says to Rick, "Leave me here." Rick shifts around, deep in thought and obviously in denial. "I'm done. Just leave me…. I want to be with my family."

Rick sits down, so he's closer to Jim. "They're all dead. I don't think you know what you're saying." I can't handle this. Rick is a good man but he can't keep acting like everything is alright. "The fever—You've been delirious more often than not—"

"Rick. He's in pain. " I interrupt him, holding my breath. I can feel the tears welling up in my eyes but I hold back. I don't break eye contact with him until he looks back at Jim.

"I'm clear now," Jim says, sitting up, "In five minutes, I might not be. Rick, I know what I'm asking. I want this. Leave me here. Now that's on me. Okay? My decision. Not your failure." Jim has always been good at understanding people. Even now, he can tell why Rick is in denial.

Rick gets up, "I'll talk to the others. Give you two a moment." He leaves the RV, still looking troubled. I can hear him discussing the conversation outside with the others.

"He's a good man," Jim says, staring at me. "They're good people." Again, Jim's good at reading people. He knows what's been on my mind. "I know you can survive on your own, it's what you're good at. But surviving isn't everything."

I look away, tears threatening to fall. "It is now. I already lost everything else."

He leans toward me, but groans and clutches his chest. After he regains his composure, he says, "Mel would want you to be happy. That's all she ever wanted."

A tear rolls down my check but I wipe it away when I hear footsteps in the RV. It's Rick and Shane, come to help Jim out of the RV. They help him over to a tree, just a little off the road. Everyone stands around him, unsure what to do. A lot of people look at me, trying to read my expression. Glenn walks over to me and gives my hand a squeeze. I squeeze back but then let go, and move closer to Jim.

Shane offers him another chance to keep going, in case he changed his mind, but Jim doesn't want it. "The breeze is nice," he says, looking more at peace than he has since I saw him.

"Okay, alright." Shane nods to him and moves away.

Jacqui approaches next, tears in her eyes. Kneeling down, she gives him a gentle smile, and whispers, "Just close your eyes, sweetie. Don't fight it." She holds his face with one hand and kisses his cheek.

Rick strides purposefully over to Jim, crouches down to his level, and asks "Jim, do you want this?" He holds out a revolver.

Jim draws back slightly and says, very sure of himself, "No. You'll need it. I'm okay."

Finally, Dale approaches. "Thanks for uh," he starts, trying to find the perfect words. "Thanks for fighting for us." Dale spoke for all of them it seems, because no one else moves or says anything. I can feel their eyes on me, waiting for me to say me goodbyes. I want to tell them to just leave me here. That I'll move on, when I'm ready. That they shouldn't wait up.

But I see Jim giving me a look that I wouldn't be welcome if I stayed. He wants me to go with them, to try making a life with these people.

I step toward him and sit on my knees next to him. "Thanks for making Mel happy," I say, squeezing his hand. He gives me a week smile and looks up at the sky.

"I'll be okay," he tells me. He starts coughing but he calms back down.

"I know." I start getting up, but before I move away, I whisper in his ear, "I hope you're right. About these people." He chokes out a small laugh, knowing I've made my decision.

I walk away, back to the road. I watch as everyone starts turning away from him, sharing a last moment with him. Daryl lingers just a bit longer than the rest. It seems like he wanted to express something to him, something Jim understood. I wonder what it was about for a minute, but then I find Rick.

"So, how much further to the CDC?" I ask. He looks at me, surprised but relieved.

"Not too far. Should be there before night." He pats me on the shoulder, a smile on his face, and heads back to his car. Glenn must've overheard, because he gives me a big hug before going into the RV.

I walk back to my truck. Just before I get in, I notice Daryl lingering by his truck door. When I make eye contact with him, he nods awkwardly at me before getting in his truck. I guess this is his form of condolences. Or maybe he's acknowledging me as a new member of the group? I'll never understand him. He still tried to kill my brother-in-law and that isn't something I'll easily forget. I push those thoughts away and hop in my truck.

As I try pulling out my keys, I notice for the first time how much I'm shaking. The weight of my decision finally hits me. Hits me hard. This is my new life, living with these people. With Jim's death, I'm losing the last piece of my life that really meant something to me. My last connection to my old family. But at the same time, I'm joining a whole new family, one that I barely know . I start the engine, my anxieties building the more I think about the future, and follow after the rest of the group to the CDC

So this last chapter was kinda long and not much (exciting) stuff happened, sorry about that. I mostly got through writing this chapter by thinking about how much fun it will be to write the next though. They'll be at a whole new place and a lot will happen. Stuff about her old work will be relevant and there will be a lot of Daryl—involving alcohol, which always makes things more interesting. Thanks for the reviews on ch.4 and stay tuned for ch.6!