"Kate…" Castle was shocked.

"I want you, Rick. I need you in my life. I just… we have to talk about him. I'm choosing you, I'll let go, but that doesn't mean we are safe."

"If we stop, then he will back off. That is what he has always said. We stop pursuing the case so he won't have any reason to come after us anymore."

"It doesn't work that way anymore. We know too much. This is about so much more now. If he is seeking the presidency, then he will need to make sure he doesn't have anything linking him to my mother's murder. He has to cover his tracks, and he will eventually come for me."

"You don't know that." Castle wanted to live in denial.

"I do, Castle. It isn't a matter of if any more. We are dealing with when now."

"We will never be free of this will we? You can pick me, promise that you are done, but it isn't that easy. You can't walk away. It's your life or his. That is the ultimatum, isn't it?"

"I will. We just have to… be smarter about this. There has to be a way…" Kate felt so helpless.

They were silent. This isn't one of Castle's novels where the problem could just be written away. They were playing with fire, and it had grown so out of control they were encircled by the flames. Every possibility he could think of was either unrealistic or stupid. Short of killing the man, he couldn't see a way out of it. There was no way she would run away, start fresh on some beach on the other side of the world. She wasn't a coward.

"What if there isn't? What if we can't catch him? What does your future look like to you?" Castle wondered. She so hastily left him for DC to protect the possibility of a future. If he is to believe she has chosen him, will leave the case behind, does that mean she wants marriage? A family?

"Well," Kate brushed back her hair, "I guess it really depends on where we stand."

Castle nodded. "Let's assume we get back together. What are we? Where do you want to go?"

"Dating, definitely. We are going to need time to work out some of the issues we've been ignoring. I see us married, later. I said it before, you are it for me. "

"What about kids?" he had to ask.

"This is so far away from where we are. I'm not really sure…"

"Kate, you brought them up. Do you see yourself as a mother?"

Kate paused. "Yes." She whispered to him.

"But you won't be a mom until you know they would be safe?"

"I'd like to say no, but I just can't do it. I can't put our kids through the pain I went through. I don't want them to lose their mom."

"You act like you have just signed your death certificate."

"That's how I feel! It may be irrational, it may be off base, but it is how I feel. I'm trying to be honest here, and I can't get past the feeling that it isn't over yet, Castle."

"Essentially, you think it's your life or our future. That's what you feel right now? "

Kate didn't respond. That was more or less a rhetorical question. She had already come to this conclusion, and that is why she left him, broken hearted, to find freedom from her past. It wasn't going to be easy, and there was a chance it wouldn't even work. There was an even greater chance that he wouldn't be there when she was finally free. Four months ago, that seemed like the only option. Now? Now, she was going to step back. Perhaps Castle was right… if they aren't actively pursuing Bracken, then maybe they would be safe.

"You do, don't you?" Castle finally answered his own question. "You really think you won't live long enough to have a relationship, a family, with me. Kate, do you have so little disregard for your own life?"

"Really?! First, you demand I choose between you and Bracken, and then when I do you get mad at my choice? I feel like I can't do anything right with you. What do you want me to say? That we are going to live happily ever after until we are 92 years old. It's not going to happen. I'm trying to be realistic here."

"This is so screwed up." Castle said while rubbing his hands over his face. The reality of their situation seemed insurmountable. The thought of losing her at all was threatening to drown him. He has already watched her nearly die once. Now that he knows what it's like to be with her… he may as well die with her. "I wish you had let him die."

"What?"

"I wish you had let him die, in that car bomb. He doesn't deserve to live." Castle said with such malice in his tone. It was disturbing to hear the truth behind his words.

"You would be ok with me knowing I was a murderer? You would be ok knowing I killed a man?" She paused and lowered her voice. "What would separate me from him?"

"You didn't plant that bomb. It wouldn't have been your fault. He is a monster." Castle replied.

She shook her head. "I wouldn't be able to live with myself. I want him to pay for what he has done, I want him gone forever, but I will not allow him to bring me to his level. Murder is not an option. You would have done the same thing if you had been in my shoes."

"Like hell I would have! The bastard deserved what was coming to him. I would do it, I would do it if I had the chance."

"Then you wouldn't be the man I have fallen in love with."

Silence was the only answer given. Rick was caught in the anger, the fear of what the senator brought to his life. Kate had a calm demeanor about her, like she was resigned to let fate (which she doesn't believe in) have its way.

"We can't live like this." Castle finally spoke, his voice laced with anger and regret.

"I know" Kate replied softly. She has known since the day she cut William Bracken's face.

Kate's phone vibrated again. They both looked at it, startled by the interruption. Stack was calling her again, for the 15th time since she told him she quit. She couldn't deal with him and the conversation she was currently having with Castle.

"Stack." Kate answered his questioning gaze.

"Hmmm…" Castle nodded. He was lost in deep thought. His writer's imagination was in overhaul with the worst possible outcomes. He was starting to sink into despair.

"Stack!" Kate nearly shouted. "Castle, what about Stack?!"

"I heard you the first time, Kate."

"No, I mean… what if we had Stack help us?" Kate felt like hitting herself. Why hadn't she thought of this sooner? She didn't need to be an agent to use the federal government's resources. She could have gone to Stack for help instead. "We can take it to him. He can get Bracken."

"Do you think… can he be trusted?" Castle felt uneasy with this plan.

"Definitely. I've worked with him for a while now. He is clean, knows his stuff. I think I trust him more than anyone else to handle this."

"Four months isn't a while. That is hardly any time at all…"

"Why aren't you more excited about this?"

"I don't want to put your life in his hands…"

Kate looked at Castle for a moment. His hesitation and his reaction to Stack sent red flags up. That last sentence sealed it for her.

"It's Stack. You don't like him."

"I don't know him."

"And yet you don't like him. Why? He is a great guy, excellent at his job."

"So? Bracken looks like a great guy, that he is perfect for his job. We know how completely bull shit that is."

"Stack isn't Bracken, Castle. Don't be ridiculous."

"I'm ridiculous? You are if you think you can trust anyone else with this case!" He felt a little crazy for saying this. He could tell he was being ridiculous. For some reason, he couldn't stop himself.

"Castle? Are you… jealous?"

"Jealous? Jealous! No, I am not jealous of him."

Kate smirked. Yup, that reaction was the final nail on the coffin. Richard Castle was jealous of Stack.

"Kate, I'm not jealous. Why would I be jealous of him?"

"I left you for a job with him in DC. That's how you looked at it right?" She saw his head lower slightly. He wasn't going to admit the jealousy and he wasn't going to tell her she was right. "Rick. Look at me. You have nothing to be worried about."

Castle nodded, but dropped his gaze. It was going to take time to move past the hurt emotions DC brings up. They were talking, figuring things out, but it was still going to time to completely heal the wounds she made. To trust her.

"Want to know an embarrassing secret?" Kate finally said. This was definitely something she never wanted to tell him, but she knew how much it would help him. She could sacrifice a little of her dignity for his sake.

"I love secrets." Castle replied immediately.

"I wore my mother's ring on my left ring finger. I took it off the chain and put it on my finger in the airport before I left New York. I never took it off until I got back here."

"Why?" Castle eventually said after the shock of her secret wore off.

"At first it was to keep this creepy guy away. He kept staring at me from across the bar in the airport. I didn't want him to talk to me so I put it on my finger. Once it was there, I just… it felt right. I was leaving you, running away from your proposal, but I wanted it so badly that I wanted to pretend. Then, I got to the AG's office and it kept people from asking questions. They just assumed I had someone waiting for me at home. It felt… like I had a part of you with me."

"Wow." Castle had no words.

"Stack knew more or less about our relationship. I'm fairly certain he figured out that we had broken up, and that I wasn't actually engaged. He kept my secret."

"You trust him with this."

She nodded. "I trust him with this."

Castle took a deep breath. Released it. "Fine, call Stack."

This story is officially a month old. Crazy! Thank you for your support through reviews, follows, PMs, etc. It's been an enjoyable journey thus far. I don't know how long I'll keep it going, I go back to work today (which I'm deeply depressed about), but I will try to continue to update frequently. Again, thanks for your continued support. It's been fun!