56 DAYS EARLIER

Opening the door to my apartment, I curse as my phone starts ringing. Today was exhausting and I don't know how much longer I'll last before I pass out. I'm supposed to be going to New York in a week and I have a lot to prepare before I go. I leave the Costco bags I've been lugging by my door and sit down at my little dining room table. After I saw the news about the new virus, disease, whatever it is, I went out and got some basic supplies I thought might be useful: several bottles of hand sanitizer, sanitary wipes, vitamin C tablets, and a pack of medical masks. There hasn't been much announced yet, but from what I've heard, it's a lot like rabies. Whatever the case, I want to be as careful as possible.

I'm about to ignore my cell but I notice the caller ID. Dr. Hanson? It must be pretty serious if he's calling me.

"Hello?" I answer.

"Yes, Ashlyn? There's something I need to talk to you about; it's not something to take lightly either." He speaks quickly, not waiting for me to respond, "The news, you've heard about the epidemic, I'm sure. Not anything useful of course, but you've heard of it?"

"Yes, I actually just got some hand sanitizer and—"

"Fuck the hand sanitizer, it won't do you any good," he demands.

"Dr. Hanson—" I stammer, shocked. What the hell is wrong with him?

"Ashlyn, listen to me. The situation is much worse than the media has let on. They don't even know. No one knows except the government and they don't want to start a panic. We've already lost India, parts of China. You need more than hand sanitizer. You need food—nonperishables—water, batteries. You'll have to get somewhere safe, away from people. Do you have a gun?"

His panic leaves me shocked. He said so much so quickly, it takes a moment for me to register his question. "A gun?"

"Yes, Ashlyn, a gun," he says impatiently.

"I-I have a pistol, but—"

"How much ammo do you have?"

"Just a couple rounds—"

"Get more. Stock up on everything you think is important. Tell your family, your closet friends, to do the same. Then leave, go somewhere isolated. "

There's a pause in the conversation as I try to understand what he's telling me. "We lost India?"

"…Yes. Communications went down so we're not entirely clear what's left but…" He trails off. I can only imagine how bad it must of gotten. "This epidemic, whatever it's caused by, it turns the infected into a mindless animal. They attack everyone in sight and can only be put down by destroying the brain. I'm warning you because I know you'll take my advice seriously." His voice is grave and raspy. I get the feeling I'm not the only person he's tried to warn.

"I will," I confirm. I think about who I need to alert. My sister. She needs to get her family to safety. Who else? I suppose I should give Dad a call, not that he'll ever listen. I think about Mike. I haven't talked to him since I blew off his proposal and told him I'm going to New York for a year. Well, I'm definitely not going to New York now. I'll tell him to get somewhere safe. I can only pray he'll listen. As for Mel, she'll probably humor me and buy some canned food but she won't pull her kids out of school for an indefinite period of time to hide somewhere. I'll have to go up there and get her myself.

"Ashlyn." Dr. Hanson's voice startles me. "You understand what I'm telling you, don't you? "

"… Yes. The CDC, is it secure?"

"Very. Now that communications have been lost in India and in much of China, protecting the CDC here will be of top priority."

"Could I get my sister and her family in there? They're in Atlanta, she has two little boys—"

"No, Ashlyn—I'm sorry. You know I would if I thought it was even slightly plausible, but we're locked up tight. No one gets in. If I leave, the bastards wouldn't even let me back in." His voice is sincere so I accept it.

"I understand… Thank you, for warning me."

"Yes, of course. I'll try to keep in touch, but—" I hear distant voices and beeping in the background. "I'm sorry, I have to go. And Ashlyn," he pauses, "Stay safe."

"You too." He hangs up first, leaving me sitting at my table listening to static. I let the new information sink in. This isn't some swine flu scare. This is entire countries being wiped out. I pick my phone back up and start dialing my sister.

PRESENT

I wake up, wiping the tear trails from my cheeks. The entire room is dark, so I get up carefully. I try flipping on the light switch, but it doesn't do any good. I feel around for my books and add the letter and report to the list of things I need to read over. Still dazed from finding the suicide note and now sore from sleeping against a wall, I stumble out of Dr. Hanson's office.

Distant shouting echoes down the hall, "Hey, man, I'm talking to you!" Daryl? I follow the sound of his voice. I can hear others now too and none of them seem too happy. I start running to where the voices are coming from. I realize they're coming from Zone 5.

When I get there, I see everyone, including Jenner, in the large room. Standing at the entrance, no one seems to notice me.
"Jenner, what's happening?" Rick demands, approaching Jenner.

Jenner starts heading toward the center of the room, where the computer and clock are, so I follow behind the rest of the group. "The system is dropping all nonessential uses of power. It's designed to keep the computers running to the last possible second. That started as we approached the 30 minute mark." He signals to the clock, "Right on schedule."

He pauses just outside the circle of white desks, all eyes on him. He hands a bottle of Jack to Daryl, who snatches it out of his hand. He must've taken it from him earlier. He turns his head to look at the frightened group, noticing me, standing in the back with an armful of books and papers.

"It was the French," he says, continuing to the computer.

"What?" Andrea asks, confused.

"They were the last ones to hold out as far as I know. While other people were bolting out the doors and committing suicide in the hallways, they stayed in the labs until the end. They thought they were close to a solution."

"What happened?" Jacqui asks.

"The same thing that's happening here. No power grid. Ran out of juice. The world runs on fossil fuel. I mean, how stupid is that?"

I stare at Jenner, wide eyed. He's completely lost it. There's a group of angry, confused people, and he's being snarky? The group starts following him closer to the computer, Shane yelling at Jenner. Daryl turns around, noticing me for the first time.

"Where you been? C'mon. Gotta find out what the fuck's happening here." I rush over to him, catching up with the rest of the group. We stop at the center of the room. Daryl, finally getting a good look at me, asks, "The hell happened to you?" I just look away, shaking my head, still clutching my books to my chest. We both turn our attention back to the crisis at hand.

"Lori, go back, get our things," Rick commands, panicked, "We're getting out of here, now!"

The group scatters, frightened now more than ever, but still listening to Rick. I run back, staying close to Daryl. Alarms start blaring and red lights flash on.

"The hell is that?" Shane yells.

"30 minutes to decontamination," Vi's calm voice announces. What the shit is going on!? A second clock appears on the screen, counting down from 30 minutes.

"Doc, what's going on here!?" Daryl shouts.

Shane starts yelling, getting everybody to start running out again.

"Just before we reach the doors, heavy metal doors spring up from the floor, blocking our exits.

"No," Rick breathes, realizing the situation.

"Did you just lock us in?" Glenn asks, terrified. Everyone turns to Jenner, trying to figure out why he's doing this. "He just locked us in!"

I see Jenner sit down at a computer and start speaking into a webcam, "We hit the 30 minute window. I am recording."

I turn to Daryl, who's pacing frantically around the room, looking more like a wild animal than ever. We make eye contact for a second before he starts running towards Jenner, "You son of a bitch!"

"Shane!" Rick yells, pointing at Daryl. Shane gets the message and rushes to hold Daryl back.

"You locked us in here!"

No, stop! Don't!" Shane catches him, mid-swing, just before he hits Jenner. T-Dog helps Shane hold him back.

"Jenner. Open that door, now," Rick demands, in full alpha mode.

"There's no point, everything topside is locked down. The emergency exits are sealed." After Daryl's outburst and Rick's commanding tone, Jenner's beginning to look intimidated.

"Well, open the damn things!"

"That's not something I can do. I told you once that front door is closed, it wouldn't open again, you heard me say that," Jenner replies quickly, defensively even.

A panicked Carol turns to me, holding Sophia against her. "Talk to him. Please, he'll listen to you," she pleads.

I stare at her, surprised for a second. Me? Why the fuck would he listen to me? Hearing what Carol said, Jacqui and Dale turn to me as well.

"She's right, you have to at least try," Dale tells me.

I nod and go up the steps to the platform and push through the people.

"Jenner," I say, as authoritatively as I can. "Open those doors. Don't bullshit me, I know you can."

He stares back at me, searching my face.

"You know this is the best way." He notices the two envelopes I have in my arms. "You found Dr. Hanson's note. You know how smart he was, you respected him. Well, he made this choice, he knew it was the best way too." I can feel confused eyes on me, but I can't stop staring at Jenner, my mouth open and eyes wide. His words hit me, hard. I feel my stomach flip. I don't stop though. Everything he's saying makes sense in my head, but I can't accept it. Not when it feels this wrong. "You know it too, I can tell. You're like us, you can see things objectively. You can see the inevitable outcome of leaving this room."

I hate how easily he can see through me. He's right, I'm just like him, and Dr. Hanson. But these people aren't, their survivors. They can't die here.

"Frankly, I don't give a fuck what you think," I spit back. "The strong can survive, Jenner. That's the way it is, that's the way it's always been."

"I'm sorry Ashlyn, but I can't open those doors," he says. "Whether you believe me or not, it's still better this way."

Before I can tell him to fuck off, Rick speaks up.

"What is? What happens in 28 minutes?"

Jenner turns away from him, back to the computer.

"What happens in 28 minutes!?" He asks again, this time much more aggressively. Shane grabs the back of Jenner's collar yanking him violently from his chair.

"You know what this place is!?" Jenner screams, his voice booming and echoing through the room. "We protected the public from very nasty stuff! Weaponized smallpox! Ebola strains that could wipe out half the country! Stuff you don't want getting out! Ever!"

Everyone in the room is completely stunned, myself included. Jenner sits back down, calming down from his outburst, and fixes his coat. "In the event of a catastrophic power failure—in a terrorist attack, for example—H.I.T.s are deployed to prevent any organisms from getting out."

"H.I.T.s?" Rick asks.

"Vi, define."

"H.I.T.s—high-impulse thermobaric fuel-air explosives consist of a two stage aerosol ignition that produces a blast wave of significantly greater power than any other known explosive except nuclear. The vacuum air pressure effect ignites the oxygen at between 5,000 and 6,000 degrees and is useful when the greatest loss of life and damage to structures is desired." As the computer explains the explosives, the weight of what's about to happen sinks in. Much of the anger and accusations clear up with the confusion, but the fear takes over. People hold onto their loved ones, trying to stay calm. My legs feel weak and my blood goes cold. I watch as Rick holds his wife and son, Carol holds her daughter. Others share looks with their friends.

"It sets the air on fire," Jenner breathes, as if mystified by the prospect of burning alive.

This isn't happening. This can't be fucking happening. I believed in him. I trusted him. And now what? He's going to fucking kill us?

I watch Lori hugging Carl but what I really see is my sister hugging her little boy, knowing their both going to die. I blink back the images, trying to catch my breath. He can't kill these people, he can't. Not like this. They don't deserve this. I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to block out the scared faces but they're burnt into my mind.

"Red!" A familiar voice screams at me. A warm hand holds my face, long fingers reaching to the back of my neck. "Red, look at me!" My eyes open wide. Daryl looks back at me, his stare boring into my thoughts.

"I can't watch these people die," I whisper. My tiny, shaking voice surprises me. I've never been particularly brave, but I always thought I could hide my fears, at least from other people.

He presses his forehead against mine, staring at me so intensely my mind goes completely blank. "Aint' nobody's gonna die. " His voice is sharp and commanding, cutting me out of my panic.

I close my eyes, this time calmly, and nod my head. He drops his hand and moves away from my face. He gives a quick nod, and looks over at the rest of the group. He sees Rick, Shane, and T-Dog bee-line to the door and follows after them. His anger apparent in every movement he makes.

"Open this damn door!" He roars, throwing his empty bottle of Jack against the door.

Shane pulls the axes out of the bags and tosses one to Daryl. They start hacking away at the heavy metal door, to no avail.

"You should've left well enough alone. It would've been so much easier," Jenner says.

"Easier for who?" Lori spits.

"All of you. You know what's out there—A short brutal life and an agonizing death." Jenner looks at Andrea. "Your-your sister. What was her name?"

"Amy."

"Amy. You know what this does. You've seen it," he turns to Rick. "Is that really what you want for your wife and son?"

"I don't want this," Rick responds firmly.

"Can't make a dent," Shane breaths, unable to scathe the door.

"Those doors are designed to withstand a rocket launcher," Jenner says, speaking down to him.

Rage wells up in Daryl's eyes as he looks to Jenner. His body coils as he takes two long strides over to him, lifting the axe, "Well your head ain't!"

"Whoa, whoa!" Shane and T-Dog rush Daryl before he can take off Jenner's head.

"You do want this," Jenner continues talking to Rick, unphased by Daryl's outburst. "Last night, you said you knew it was just a matter of time before everybody you loved was dead."

Everyone stares at Rick, shocked. "What? What, you really said that?" Shane questions, his tone full of accusations.

"I had to keep hope alive, didn't I?" Rick defends.

"There is no hope. There never was," Jenner counters.

"There's always hope. Maybe it won't be you, maybe not here, but somebody, somewhere—"

"What part of everything's gone do you not understand?" Andrea interrupts.

"Listen to your friend. She gets it. This is what takes us down. This is our extinction event," Jenner responds, sounding lost in his own mind. This is what he talked to me about. "Ashlyn, you understand this better than anyone. Diseases have been wiping out species long before we came along. The world will continue without us."

No longer immobile from fear, all I have left is anger. Anger that this man is using science, using my passion, to justify this madness. "The world has never stopped for anyone—that doesn't mean what you're doing is right. This is murder, Jenner! You're murdering these people!"

"I'm sparing these people," He says, unmoved by my accusation. I clench my fists, trying not to punch him right here, right now.

"This isn't right. You can't just keep us here," Carol wails, hugging Sophia to her chest.

"One tiny moment. A millisecond. No pain," Jenner tries comforting her, but clearly doesn't get through.

"My daughter doesn't deserve to die like this!"

"Wouldn't it be kinder, more compassionate to just hold your loved ones and wait for the clock to run down?"

This time, Shane runs at Jenner, except instead of an axe, he points a shotgun at Jenner's head.

"Shane no!" Rick yells, holding him back.

"Out of the way Rick! Stay out of my way!" He pushes passed Rick and cocks the gun. "Open that door or I'm gonna blow your head off! Do you hear me!?"

"Brother, brother, this is not how you do this. We will never get out of here," Rick tries talking some sense into him.

"Shane, you listen to him," Lori commands.

He glances out of the corner of his eye at Lori, but then turns back to Jenner, more furious than ever. He screams like a mad man, firing the shotgun not at Jenner's head, but at the computers surrounding him until he's out of ammo.

Rick charges him, this time disarming him and knocking him to the ground. Aiming the gun at his head, he hisses, "Are you done now, are you done?"

"Yeah, I guess we all are," Shane replies.

Rick moves away from Shane and turns to Jenner. "I think you're lying."

"What?"

"You're lying. About no hope. If that were true, you would've bolted with the rest or taken the easy way out. You didn't. You chose the hard path. Why?"

"It doesn't matter," Jenner replies quickly.

It does matter. It always matters." Seeing that his question affected Jenner, Rick digs deeper. "You stayed when others ran. Why?"

Jenner stands up, chest to chest with Rick, suddenly aggressive. "Not because I wanted to. I made a promise. To her," he motions to the screen. "My wife."

"Test subject 19 was you wife?" Lori realizes, the rest of us speechless. I couldn't even imagine.

"She begged me to keep going as long as I could. How could I say no? She was dying. It should've been me on that table. It wouldn't of mattered to anybody. She was a loss to the world. Hell, she ran the place. I just worked here. In our field she was an Einstein. Me? I'm just…Edwin Jenner. She could've done something about this. Not me."

Rick keeps pressing him, not slowing down. "Your wife didn't have a choice. You do. That's, that's all we want. A choice, a chance."

"Let us keep tryin' as long as we can," Lori pleads.

Jenner stares at us, our scared, exhausted faces. After a moment, he turns back to rick and tells him, "I told you. topside's locked down, I can't open those." He makes his way to some undamaged computers, pulling out an I.D. card. People lift their faces, suddenly stricken with hope. He scans his card and punches a number into a computer. The doors fly open, electrifying the group with a new energy. People are on their feet in an instant, grabbing their things and running to the door.

"C'mon!" Daryl yells, "Move it, move it!"

Rick is the only one that takes the moment to thank Jenner, who ends up whispering something in his ear. Both men glance over at me before Rick rushes off to join his family.

Even with all the chaos around me, I don't move from my spot. I don't experience the same hope-induced adrenaline as the rest. Instead, I feel my muscles go slack and my lungs exhale a deep breath I didn't realize I was holding. They'll be fine. Relief rushes over me.

I hear Glenn shouting to hurry the group along, "Four minutes left! Hurry up!"

"And you?" Jenner turns to me. "They're safe now, they made their choice. But what do you want?" I stare at the clock, realizing it doesn't scare me, not like it did before. It's no longer counting down to the time these people, these family and friends , are killed—just me. If I chose that at least. "You don't have to stay like this. You've lost someone haven't you?"

Thinking about his words earnestly for the first time, I whisper, "I've lost everyone."

"It's painful isn't it? You can end that, in a second. No pain. An end to sorrow, grief. Regret. Everything."

Jenner's words wash over me like a prayer. It sounds like a beautiful promise. I can still hear Mel's screams, the gun firing, the buzzing silence from the phone after the gunshots. The pain never left in these last two months. There have been times when I almost forgot about it, like that night playing darts, but it's always been here. The idea of being free of that infects my mind. Breaks down the wall of survival instincts that's been keeping me going.

I hear Jacqui yelling over by the doors, telling T-Dog and the rest to go without her. It seems she made her own choice. Andrea too. Dale comes over, desperately trying to convince Andrea to change her mind.

Jenner nods at me, indicating it's time for me to make a choice, before walking away to a computer. I stand alone, staring at my armful of books. Things I would read, if I choose to keep going. For a fleeting moment, I think about how I have no one to beg me not to do this, no one that would miss me. I push that thought away; it's a useless thing to worry about now. It's my own fault, for pushing people away for so long, running from commitment. My sister was the only person who chased after me when I ran and now she's gone—

"RED!" I spin around and see Daryl, sweaty and frantic, standing at the door. "The place is about to fuckin' blow! Get your ass movin'!" I instinctively take two running steps toward him. I stop though, realizing what I just did. Realizing the choice I just unconsciously made. "For fuck's sake, c'mon!" Snapping out of my daze, I run to the door—to Daryl. He looks at me like he did before, like he's looking into my mind.

Not wanting him to see anything in there, I bump his shoulder, running down the hall, and say, "We don't have much time!" I hear him running behind me, yelling at me to keep going.

We reach the entrance we came in before just in time to see Rick blow a window up with a grenade. We run through the window, across the property, to the road where our cars are parked. Everyone takes cover in the vehicles. I run to my truck, pulling Daryl with me since his truck is furthest back in the line of cars. No time to get my keys out, I jump the side, into the bed of the truck. Daryl jumps in after me, his body protectively covering mine, just as an enormous, deafening explosion decimates the CDC. The blast seems to shake the entire city, rattling my truck. I curl against Daryl's tense body, waiting for building to fall. It doesn't take long; a moment after it sounds like the destructions over, Daryl moves off of me. Both of us are clearly shaken, realizing how close we came to death.

I look over at the rubble, amazed at how quickly such an impressive structure was leveled. I think of everything in it, the physical things as well as all the memories. But then I remember what I left behind. I imagine it burning up, turning to ashes.

"Hey," Daryl says softly. I turn to him, confused by how gentle he sounds. Wipes a tear from my check I didn't even realize was there. Seeing the surprise on my face he looks away and says, more roughly this time, "What's that about?"

"I… I know it's stupid, but I just remembered I left something really important to me in my room," I say, rubbing the tears out of my eyes.

He gives me a strange look and tells me, "Glenn and T-Dog grabbed your bags when we cleared out the rooms, before we got locked up."

"Oh, really? That's great," I say flatly, trying to sound more relieved than I actually am. My bags are important and all, but I know what I really care about wasn't in a bag, and I doubt they would've noticed it.

"Yeah, picked this up too. Saw it sittin' there when I went back lookin' for ya." Daryl pulls a folded up paper out of his back pocket and hands it to me. I stare at it in shock, hardly believing it's real. I unfold it and see the faces of Mel, Jim, and their two boys, smiling back at me.

I throw my arms around Daryl, burying my face in his neck. "Hey, whoa! Damn girl, it ain't a big deal."

I pull away from him, but I can't help smiling back at him like an idiot. He looks at me like I've lost my mind, but just for this moment, I want to let myself be happy. There are so many things I know I'll be sad about later. I've lost so much in the last couple days, I want to treasure this feeling of finding something I thought was lost forever. Not only that, but I also find myself selfishly enjoying the feeling that Daryl came back for me.

Sorry this took so long! It was really difficult to write for some reason and I'm not sure how I feel about it but it's finally done. I honestly can't believe I got through all of season 1.

As always, thanks to everyone that reviewed!

fluxaay: No offense taken! I'm really glad for the feedback. I'll keep it in mind when I'm trying to figure out what I want to do :)

DarkestAssassin878: I'm glad you like it so far! Their relationship will definitely continue to grow into something more serious. I try to progress it a little each chapter but I think I'm going to start pushing it a bit more now that I'll have some good opportunities season 2.

zephod: I definitely want to talk more about the beginning of the outbreak. I did a little bit this chapter since I could use it to give some kind of background on her relationship with Dr. Hanson. There's still a lot of her backstory that I haven't revealed yet so there's more to come!