Eddie's heart ached as he watched his family walk out of the door to his room. He just got them back and wasn't ready to let them go. He was confused which is to be expected. He had been told that he had been in a coma for fifteen months but it felt and still feels like he was just taken into surgery. To him, it felt like yesterday not fifteen months ago. He remembers promising to play football when he got home; saying goodbye to the boys; telling them to be good; to take care of their mother when she got lonely and from what he was able to witness tonight the boys did as he had asked. He was so proud of them.

Jocelyn; his daughter. When he went into surgery he was the father of three boys. Today he woke up from surgery the father of three boys and one little six month old baby girl and he has missed everything. He missed the pregnancy; feeling her kick and move inside of her mother, something that he treasured with the boys. He missed her birth; her first cry. He missed out on the overnight feedings; her first smile, laugh, and tooth. He missed so much and even though Janet had pictures and video, he would never experience it first hand and that broke his heart. He vowed right then and there to do everything he could to make up for lost time. He owed his children that much.

Now Janet on the other hand, he wasn't sure if he could ever make up for lost time with Janet. He hated himself for checking out and leaving Janet on her own to raise and support their family. Underneath the happiness that he saw, she looked exhausted and he was sure she was. He couldn't imagine what it has been like for her raising their four children by herself. He wondered about her pregnancy. Her pregnancy with the boys was so bad and she had so many complications. He hoped that Jocelyn went easy on her and if she did have complications he hoped she had help. It should have been him. He should have been the one to help her.

As much as he loved his boys and as much as he wanted to get to know his daughter he wanted and needed to spend time with Janet. He wanted a chance to talk to her or let her talk to him. He wanted to know everything; the good, the bad and the ugly. He knew she was in desperate need of some one on one adult time with him. He wanted her to have a chance to vent if need be and simply relax in his arms. She looked as if she needed it and even though it felt like he just saw her yesterday, he was aching for her.

"Eddie would you like something to sleep?" His night nurse asked.

"No thanks. I think that I have slept enough to last a lifetime."

"You may think that but you need your rest so your body can heal."

"I'll try to sleep but I don't want a pill."

"I think that's a good idea. Do you need anything?"

"Can you lay my bed back?"

"That I can do." The nurse laid his bed back. "Welcome back Eddie and sleep well. Sweet dreams."

Sweet dreams. With those words his mind began to work again. He remembered having dreams about the boys; dreams where they were doing things together. During those dreams the boys would tell him about what was going on in their lives; in their mother's life. He clearly remembers the boys telling him about their first day of school, Christmas morning and their birthday. He remembers them telling him about their mom having a baby and then that they were going to have a sister, something none of them were happy about and finally he remembered being told that they hated their sister and didn't want her and what broke his heart the most was he remembered the boys begging him to wake up because they missed him so much and how miserable Janet was without him; she cried all of the time.

Lying in his bed, alone he wondered what those dreams were. He didn't think that they were actual dreams. Today when they boys were talking to him, they kept referring to what he remembered from those dreams and he knew things that had happened while he was in his coma like the fact that Janet wanted to dress the boys alike on their first day of school and he remembered telling them to tell her not to do it and according to the triplets that really happened. And Jocelyn; he knew about his daughter that no one knew existed when he had his surgery. It was something he couldn't explain and didn't know if he would ever be able to explain and at this point, the only thing that information was doing for him was breaking his heart and he cried himself to sleep.

The next morning, Janet, the boys and Jocelyn were at the rehab center by eleven. Janet called when she woke up and was told that Eddie was being moved to his new room and wouldn't be ready until then. The boys were anxious and driving her crazy and since the entire house was up at eight it proved to be a long morning.

"Boys don't run." Janet had to jog with Jocelyn in her arms to stop the boys. "I said don't run. You know better than that."

"Sorry mommy." They mumbled.

"Now you stand right here and let me talk to the nurse to find out where daddy's new room is. You three stand here quietly and don't move. If you don't follow my directions you will be in time out. Do you understand me?"

"Yes ma'am." With one last serious look she turned to the nurse's desk.

"Can I help you?"

"My husband, Eddie Latekka was moved up here this morning and I don't know his room number."

"Sure. Eddie. Nice guy. He is in room three twenty four; the last room on the left."

"Thank you."

"But before you go, I need you to fill out some paperwork. Eddie is unable to do so." Janet shifted Jocelyn to her other hip and glanced at the boys who were losing fidgeting.

"Can I drop the boys off in his room and then come back. They are about to lose their minds."

"We have to have it submitted in the next fifteen minutes. How about I take the boys and your daughter down to see their dad while you fill out this paperwork?" Janet sighed. She realized that she didn't have a choice.

"Okay." Janet turned back to the boys. "You guys are going to go with Nurse Ashley to see daddy while I fill out some papers. You will walk quietly and listen to her and then to daddy okay?"

"Yes mommy." Janet handed Jocelyn over to Ashley.

"Thank you. Will you tell Eddie I will be down shortly?"

"I sure will. Come on guys." Janet turned to the paperwork in front of her and began to fill it out. After a few lines Janet was frowning because she swore she had just filled this out a couple of weeks ago but she was so exhausted she figured that she had it confused with another of the thousands of forms she had filled out for Eddie.

"All done." Janet told Ashley a few minutes later.

"Let me make sure we have everything we need." Ashley took the form from Janet and slowly looked over it. "Okay. Looks good. Thanks for doing this."

"Sure. No problem." With a smile, Janet walked to Eddie's new room. She was anxious to see him; to touch and talk to him.

"SURPRISE!" Janet had just opened the door and jumped back in surprise. Standing in front of her was her mom, Tom, Eddie's parents, the boys, Jocelyn and Eddie wearing big grins. The room was filled with birthday decorations.

"Happy Birthday yesterday Mommy." Jacob told her as he ran up to hug her followed by his brothers.

"We were so excited about Eddie waking up that your birthday was forgotten during the excitement." Laura told her daughter in law. "And that shouldn't have happened."

"It's okay."

"No sweetheart. It's not okay." Sharon said, kissing her.

"We are having a surprise party for you in daddy's room." Josh told her.

"It's wonderful."

"Did we trick you mommy?" Jackson asked.

"Yes you did. You really surprised me." Janet looked at the adults in the room. "I didn't need to fill out any paperwork did I?" Everyone shook their heads. "Well done." Janet hugged everyone leaving Eddie for last. She sat on the edge of his bed and he took her hand.

"I am so, so sorry that I didn't realize yesterday was your birthday." He looked utterly devastated.

"It's really okay Eddie. You waking up was first of all the best birthday gift I could have ever gotten and secondly, you woke up after fifteen months. Nothing is more important than that."

"Not true. You are important Janet and after what you have been through, without me for these last fifteen months, you deserve to be celebrated." Tears filled Janet's eyes and one fell. "Come here." She leaned forwards; he reached out and wiped it away. "Happy Birthday my love." He closed the distance between them and kissed her softly.

The kiss didn't last as long as either of them would have liked because there were three anxious boys waiting for their mom to open her presents from them. The Latekka boys loved getting presents but their parents had instilled in them that giving gifts was just as important and now because of that the boys were always just as excited about giving gifts as getting them and right now, they wanted their mom to open her presents that they had worked so hard on for her.

"Here mommy. Open your present. "Janet had just finished opening up the pictures with macaroni noodles, and anything else that they could get their hands on glued to the pictures. They were the best works of art Janet had ever seen.

"Okay Jax. Who is this from?"

"It's from all of us." Jacob answered.

"Who is all of us?"

"Me, Jax, Jake and Jocelyn."

"Well I wonder what we have here. It's really big." Janet slowly unwrapped a framed professional photograph of the boys and Jocelyn. The boys were all wearing jean shorts. Jackson was wearing a blue shirt, Josh was in green and Jacob was in red while Jocelyn was in a cute little jean dress with a purple shirt underneath it and all four of them had perfect smiles and of course, it brought tears to Janet's eyes.

"Do you like it mommy?" Josh asked.

"I love it sweetheart." Janet sniffed.

"Then why on earth on you crying?" Jacob asked and the room laughed.

"I'm crying because I am very happy."

"Then you should smile not cry." He informed her.

"You right Jakey. I should smile." She smiled and then looked at her mom, Tom, Jack and Laura. "I'm not sure who is responsible for this but thank you so very much."

"It was purely selfish." Laura told her with a grin. "We also got these pictures for our houses." Janet stood and hugged all of them.

"Thank you."

Next Janet was given a gift from their parents. They all went together and got her a day pass for two for a spa. The only requirement was that she is supposed to take Hannah with her. Of course she argued with them; telling them it was too much but as usual they insisted that it wasn't and Janet finally gave in. Once that was settled Jack slipped out into the hall and returned with flowers.

"These are for you Janet." He handed her the bouquet of Lilies.

"They are beautiful." She whispered. She hadn't gotten flowers in a very long time not since before Eddie fell into his coma and she missed the surprise bouquets.

"It's the best I could do on short notice." Eddie spoke up.

"They are from you?" Of course they were from him. He knew how much she loved Lilies. He nodded. "Thank you so much." She had tears in her eyes. "I've missed getting flowers from you." She set the flowers down on the table next to his bed, leaned over and kissed him.

"Now that I am back, you'll get flowers again." He told her when they broke apart.

"I don't need flowers now that I have you back."

"You'll get flowers."

"We'll see." As much as she loved the thought she couldn't help but thinking how expensive flowers would be.

"Cake mommy. Can we have birthday cake now?" Jackson asked.

"Sure baby. We'll have cake." Sharon lit the candles; the room sang happy birthday to the strongest woman they knew and the triplets blew out her candles.

By the time late afternoon rolled around the boys were going stir crazy and Jocelyn was cranky. The boys had been inside too long and had become antsy and since Eddie had so many visitors the boys didn't have Eddie's undivided attention didn't help the situation so Janet decided to give the boys a break and if she was honest with herself, she was tired of sitting and watching everyone else except her spend time with Eddie so feeding the boys was the perfect excuse not to watch anymore.

Even though Eddie didn't want Janet and the kids to leave it was a good thing because it gave him a chance to talk with his parents and friends about how things really have been for Janet. He hasn't really had any time alone with her so they could really talk and he needed to talk with her. Regardless of what she said he knew things hadn't been easy for her; he could see it in her body language and he wanted to know everything and he also knew her well enough to know that she wouldn't be honest with him. She wouldn't lie to be mean. She would lie to protect him.

"So now that she is gone, tell me how Janet really is doing?" Eddie asked the room.

"Better now that you are awake." Owen answered.

"How were things for her while I out?" Eddie noticed the looks that passed between his parents, Owen, Nick, Hannah, Phil, Ikey and Katie. Finally, Laura spoke.

"It was hard but you know your wife; she did what had to be done and she did it well." Eddie knew that his mom was being honest but she was sugarcoating it.

"She is different."

"Of course she is son." Jack told him. "She has been without you for the last fifteen months so she had no choice but to change."

"The sparkle is gone from her eyes." The first thing he noticed when he woke up was that her long beautiful curls were gone. The second thing he immediately noticed was her eyes. He remembered her blue eyes were always bright and shinning with love and happiness. Now when he looks into her eyes they are dark and sad. "I know these last fifteen months have been hard on her and she will never tell me what really went on so I need you guys for that. I need to know." The room was silent. They knew he Eddie was right; Janet would never tell him how much she struggled; she wouldn't want him to know how hard these last fifteen months had been for her but they also knew that Eddie did need to know and he wouldn't relent until he knew everything.

"It was really, really hard for her Eddie." Hannah finally spoke. "She was devastated, heartbroken, pregnant and alone with three confused and heartbroken boys but she did what she does best. She stepped up to the plate and did whatever it took to take of you and her family."

Over the next hour Eddie's family and friends told Eddie about the last fifteen months had been like for Janet and the kids. Hearing how much Janet struggled emotionally, physically and financially broke his heart again. Even though he had no control of falling into a coma he felt guilty and vowed to do whatever it took to make it up to his family.

"Be good. Do you hear me?" Janet asked the triplets. Unknown to Janet Eddie had asked/begged his parents to take the boys home for the night so he and Janet could finally spend some time alone together. Of course, Eddie didn't have to beg, Jack and Laura loved having their grandchildren. So when Janet returned they offered to take them for the night.

"Yes ma'am." They replied in unison.

"That's mommy's good boys. Now give me a hug." Janet squatted down and the three boys and then walked over to her in-laws. "You guys don't have to take the kids."

"We want to. For over a year every Saturday night we have had the kids so you could be alone with Eddie so why should that change just because he is awake and besides honey, you are the only one that hasn't spent any alone time with Eddie."

"It's okay. I know that he is a popular guy right now."

"You and Eddie need some alone time together." Jack insisted.

"Do you guys have enough breast milk, diapers and clean clothes?"

"We have plenty of everything." Janet thanked them and went to retrieve Jocelyn from her father's arms. She kissed her and handed her to Laura.

"Bye baby girl. Momma loves you." Janet said kissing her daughter's fuzzy head. After a chorus of goodbyes, the door to Eddie's room shut and the kids were gone.

"Alone at last." Eddie quipped and Janet grinned.

"Do you need anything? Are you hungry; thirsty?"

"What I need is my wife over here with me and not across the room." Eddie had the sense that Janet was nervous being alone with him.

"I can do that." Janet walked over, grabbed a chair, sat next to his bed and grabbed the remote. "I think that there is a Sox's game on. There are quite a few new additions since you last saw a game. So far this season they are two games back and they have a very…"

"Janet." He interrupted. "I don't want to watch the game."

"Ummm okay. We can watch something else. What sounds good?"

"I don't want to watch television. I want to talk. I've been awake for two days and we have hardly talked."

"That's not true. We have talked a lot."

"About the kids. I want to talk about you."

"I am the most boring topic of conversation." She knew he wanted to know about her life while he was unconscious and she wanted to tell him. She wanted him to know everything she went through, the tears, the loneliness, the exhaustion; everything but she couldn't tell him. She couldn't put that on him. He would feel incredibly guilty and she didn't want that. She wanted his recovery to be as guilt free as possible. She wanted him to put all of his energy into becoming mobile again so he could come home.

"I don't think so. " Eddie struggled to push himself to the side of the bed. "Come." He requested, patting the empty side of the bed but she didn't move. "Janet look at me." She slowly turned her eyes to Eddie. "You have been on the backburner since I woke up. We are finally alone and I want to take advantage of this time."

"I don't think you are physically ready for that Mr. Latekka." Janet told him with a grin.

"Unfortunately, you are right about that. God, I wish we could have sex right now but that's going to have to wait. What I want to do is talk. I want to hear from you about your life; not the kids' lives but your life over these last fifteen months so please…join me."

"I've already told you about the past fifteen months."

"Yeah. You have told me about what our kids did over the last fifteen months. I want to hear about you; what you went through and how you felt."

"There is nothing to tell Eddie. I missed you like hell. It was hard to raise our kids without you but I did it and you are back and everything will eventually return to the way it used to be."

"No baby. When I come home it won't be the same. Neither of us is the same person we were fifteen months ago. I lost that time; a huge chunk of time in your life and the boys' life; I missed my daughter's birth. I will never be the same man and you…for fifteen months not only were you the mother and wife but you had to be a father and husband so you will never be the same." Finally Janet moved but instead of joining him on the bed she went to the window. "Why won't you talk to me?"

"It's in the past Eddie." She mumbled. "I am so happy that you are finally back with us and I want that feeling to last." Eddie decided to get straight to the point.

"I know what you went through after my surgery." Janet didn't turn. She didn't want Eddie to the tears filling her eyes.

"No I don't think you really do."

"Yes I do. While you took the boys home for dinner, I asked how things were for you and I was told."

"Since you know then why are you asking me?"

"Because I want to hear it from you sweetheart."

"Why Eddie?" Janet snapped whirling around. "Why do you want to hear how sad and miserable I was when Dr. Weber told me that you were in a coma?

"Because I love you and I want to hear it from your mouth what it was like."

"Fine. You want to know. I will tell you." She snapped through her tears. "When I found out you weren't going to wake up, I was terrified because I needed you. I needed my husband and our boys needed their father. I didn't think I could do it without you."

"But you did and Janet you did a hell of a job."

"When I found out that I was pregnant;" Janet sighed. "I was really, really pissed off at you."

"Why? Because I wasn't here?"

"That but the main reason was I never wanted another baby. I told you that. It was you that wanted another baby and suddenly I was pregnant with a child that I did not want." Janet saw a look of horror cross Eddie's face. "That look on your face is why I didn't want to tell you." She told him with tears rolling down her cheeks. She knew her husband would hate her for speaking those words; having those thoughts.

"I knew that's how you felt; mom and Hannah told me. I'm sorry. I guess knowing and hearing are two different things."

"That feeling didn't last long and I got over it quickly but I was scared. The only thing going through my mind was my pregnancy with the boys. It was so hard. There were so many complications. I couldn't have gotten through it without you. You were in a coma so I didn't know if I could do it without you and then I started thinking about the post partum depression I had with the boys. You were the one who saw it; not me. I was terrified that it would happen again and no one would know it."

"Janet, baby, come over here." He told his crying wife. This time she didn't argue. She wanted to be comforted by him. She had held these feelings in way to long. She climbed up on the bed next to him, buried her head in the crook of his shoulder and cried. Eddie simply ran his fingers through her short curls as she cried it out.

"I'm sorry." She sniffed when she finally calmed down. "You don't need this."

"Stop it." He chastised. "For the last fifteen months you have been the strong woman taking care of four kids. It's time that you let someone; me take care of you."

"I was so overwhelmed." She admitted. Hearing that he wanted to take care of her was all she needed to let it all out. "Besides all my fears about the pregnancy in general I was worried about the money or lack of. I had just found out that I was pregnant and then Dr. Weber told me that you couldn't stay in the hospital; that I had to move you here. Our insurance would only cover half of it and my half was pretty pricey." Janet's tears began to fall again. "I didn't know how I would pay for it; everyday necessitates and then to top it off I had another baby coming and nowhere to put her."

"I can't imagine how hard that must have been for you." He and Janet were a lot alike in the sense that they felt responsible for taking care of their family and they both had trouble accepting help.

"Without our families, I couldn't have done it. Your parents paid for you to stay here and my mom and Tom remodeled our house so Jocelyn would have a room."

"That's what families do Janet. They take care of each other."

"And they did. They really took care of me. I did end up with post partum depression again but it was a given considering the situation and this time it was obvious to everyone. When Jocelyn was two days old she was placed into my arms and I started crying and couldn't stop. I missed you so much and you were missing so much. You should have been there and you weren't. I was alone with a newborn and terrified."

"Did the medicine help you like it did the last time?"

"The first week home was rough. I was exhausted. It took everything I had to get out of bed and not cry. By the second week I was much better and I was practically normal. The next week I was on my own and after some adjustments, I was able to manage things on my own."

"And then you went right back to work."

"Yes I did."

"Three weeks sweetheart? You only took three weeks off?"

"Do you think that I wanted to do that Eddie? Do you think that I wanted to leave my…our newborn baby girl? I didn't have a choice. I couldn't afford to take any more time off of work. Our children depended on me. I had to work."

"I didn't realize how bad things were for you." He mumbled, instantly feeling guilty.

"Things were fine before…"

"Before I checked out."

"Yeah; before you checked out. We had three kids, my paycheck, your paycheck and your profit check. Then you were gone along with your paycheck and I was pregnant. I had medical bills and then the boys started school. I had to buy school clothes, school supplies. Once Jocelyn was born, I had more expenses; diapers, baby clothes all of the time because she is growing so fast, baby food and then there was food in general. You have no idea how much food three boys can eat. I had to start getting food stamps Eddie." Eddie knew the look that Janet was wearing.

"Baby, you have nothing to be ashamed of. "

"I know that in my mind but heart tells me different. I ignored my heart and I did what I had to do to make sure our children had want they needed and most of what they wanted. Your profit check wasn't a guaranteed amount of money; some months were small and others were decent but it wasn't enough. Our utilities all went up; our property taxes were increased, hell baby, everything has gotten more expensive. Gas is ridiculous and I am using more gas than before driving out to see you every night so I worked. I worked as much as could. I did it for our children."

"So much so that you put yourself in the hospital with pneumonia?"

"Is there anything that you weren't told?"

"I don't think so."

"Normally when the boys were sick with something simple they and me were okay with them staying home with mom but they all got pneumonia so I had to stay home with them and I had no vacation time so when I got sick, I took an afternoon and went to the doctor. I was diagnosed with viral pneumonia that antibiotics wouldn't help. He told me that I needed to stay home and rest until I got better. "

"But you didn't because you didn't have any paid time off left."

"Exactly. I had our family to support."

"You are always taking care of everyone else but yourself."

"I ended up in the hospital and then home to recuperate."

"And you ended up in the hospital only after being forced to go by Hannah." Janet nodded miserably. "Oh baby why did you let it get so bad? I hate the thought of you in the hospital."

"I've told you. I couldn't afford to take time off. The boys want to go to day camp; they want to go so bad and it's four hundred dollars. I had to come up with the money. They have wanted so many things over these past fifteen months that I haven't been able to give them so I had to give them camp. I have let them down so much and I couldn't bear to do it again." Eddie lifted Janet's heartbroken, tearstained face up to his.

"You have been the best possible mother to them. Don't think that you haven't been."

"You haven't been here. How would you know?"

"Because I know you Janet and I know that you are the best mother that our children could ask for and Nick, Hannah, Mom, Dad, your mom and Tom all told me the exact same thing but they didn't have to. I know you sweetheart."

"I just feel like I haven't been there for the kids as much as I should have been. I'm not there when the boys get home from school. Jocelyn is with my mom all day and then our evenings are spent here with you."

"Was there ever a time that the boys of Jocelyn needed you and you weren't there for them?" Janet shook her head. "That's what counts. The kids won't remember that you were not there to greet them at the door when they got home from school. They will remember that you were there when they needed you. For example, I can guarantee that they will always remember the week they are going to spend at day camp that you worked so hard to make happen for them. That fact right there Janet is what makes you a great mom." He just told her the same thing that everyone had been telling her over the past fifteen months but hearing from Eddie made her finally believe it.

"I've missed you so much Eddie."

"I know baby. I know." He reached out and softly caressed her cheek. "I'm so sorry for leaving."

"You didn't have a choice. You…" He placed a finger in front of her lips.

"I will make it up to you. Every minute that I was gone, I will make it up to you. I promise you that." Eddie took his finger, traced her lips and then slowly brought his own lips to hers. They shared a long overdue passionate kiss until they could no longer breathe.

"I've missed that." Janet whispered as she settled herself against him.

"I want a list from you tomorrow."

"What kind of list?"

"A list of everything that I missed during these last fifteen months."

"That can be a very long list." Janet said with a smile.

"I don't care how long it is. I just want a list of what I missed; things that you wish I was there for."

"Why?"

"I told you, I have a lot of things to make up for."

"You don't have to make up for anything. You just need to concentrate on getting stronger so you can come home."

"I'm going to get stronger. I promise you that. Just make the list for me okay?"

"Okay."

"Are you going to stay the night?" He could see that she was exhausted.

"I would like that. I've missed sleeping in your arms." Eddie reached out, grabbed the blanket and tucked it around Janet.

"Sleep my sweet Janet." He kissed the top of her head. "I love you."

"I love you too." She mumbled and five minutes later she was sound asleep, wrapped in her beloved husband's embrace.