Warning: This one contains a fairly detailed account of child abuse (beating). If that may trigger an adverse response in you, please skip it or read it only under controlled circumstances.

Chapter Five

The incoming call alert shows that it's Doctor Flynn, so Ana answers, "Hey, John. Anything wrong?"

"Nothing like that, Ana. I'm just making sure you're ready for today. I've been focused on Christian's preparations, but this is going to be rough on you, too. So I wanted to check that you're an informed participant."

Breathing a sigh of relief that it's nothing to worry about, Ana says, "Of course your focus should be on Christian. Thank you, for that. I'm fine. We've talked about it. He's nervous, but no sign of panic. I think maybe the medication is helping."

"Good. Excellent. Forgive my pedantry, but could you explain to me what you expect to happen?"

Smiling at his concern, Ana says, "We'll meet you at your offices; on time, because it's Christian. You'll take a few minutes to again explain the treatment, and make sure he's still willing to go ahead, and the rest is up to him. I'm to remain silent while he speaks, unless it's becoming too much for me, because you'll be busy monitoring Christian's stress levels. But it won't be too much. If he can live it, I can hear it. I just want him to not carry this burden anymore."

Flynn is quiet for a few seconds and says, "He's a lucky man."

"I'm a lucky woman. You sure that you're okay with me being there?"

Flynn chuckles and says, "I seriously doubt it would make a difference it I wasn't. But, yes, I was thrilled when Christian said you'd volunteered. The whole point is to get him to a place where he can relive the memories without his amygdala joining the party. You appear to have a calming effect on him, so your very presence should help ensure our success. If we can keep his body from going into 'fight or flight', he'll be able to heal and life will easier for both of you."

"See? Now doesn't that sound like something worth enduring some horror stories?"

Flynn laughs again, a gentle, relaxed sound and says, "Yes, it does. But I'm serious about you needing to tell me if it's getting too much for you. There's little point in getting Christian to the point where he no longer needs therapy, if the process leaves you a gibbering wreck."

Of course, he's right. Ana knows Christian well enough to guess how guilty he'd feel if the session did her lasting damage, so she's in earnest when she says, "I'll tell you. I promise."

Flynn's sigh of relief is audible and he concludes, "Thank you. And, if you want to distract Christian from worrying, ask him if he's done his homework."

"Homework?"

Ana could swear she actually hears Flynn's smile when he says, "Ask him. I'll see you this afternoon."

Curious, Ana says goodbye. Glancing at the time, she dials Christian's office number. A little surprised when he actually answers, she teases, "How's your blonde harem, today?"

Her stomach does somersaults at the joy in his voice when he exclaims, "Ana! Why didn't you call my cell, baby?"

Her smile so big it's difficult to talk around it, Ana says, "Oh, you said you had a meeting at ten, so I thought you might be busy and was going to leave a message with Linda."

His seductive tone now working on those parts of her body south of her stomach, Christian says, "I told you, baby, I'm never too busy for you. What can I do for you, Mrs. Grey?"

Ana groans and says, "For a start, stop talking like that when you won't have a chance to follow through until tonight."

Sounding anything but contrite, Christian laughs and says, "Sorry, baby. Seriously, what's up? If this isn't urgent, I don't have long."

"Uh, Flynn called to make sure that I'm ready for the session, and I just needed to check how you're coping. I assume he also called you?"

"Yeah. He's…anyway, we'll see."

A most un-Fifty response, so Ana says, "It's okay, baby, you don't have to do this. We're doing okay. It'll just take longer without it."

Christian's laugh is a little harsh this time and he says, "You think that I'm in therapy because I enjoy it? I would give every cent I have to merely know Flynn as a friend. We're doing this."

Satisfied that he's not proceeding in some sort of misguided attempt to do what she wants, Ana says, "Okay, darling. In that case, there's only the matter of your homework. Have you done it?"

When Christian's only immediate response is a mumbled "Fucker," Ana is now very curious. She waits patiently until he explains, "As per your wishes, I asked for his opinion on the nature of my relationship with...you know who. He said 'Hmm' like he does and promised to send me some information to discuss at another time. It's a common practice of his when we run out of time before resolving an issue."

"And?"

There're several seconds of silence, and then Christian pouts, "It was a link to a site describing the symptoms of someone suffering from Stockholm Syndrome." When Ana starts to laugh and stifles it with her hand, Christian adds, "Go on."

After unleashing her mini laughing fit, Ana exclaims, "I love that man."

Christian growls, "And I think you're a little free with your love."

Ana knows he's not genuinely jealous of Flynn, and is smiling as she says, "I've got a lot free right now. Would you care for some?"

Finally sounding like the strong, confident man she loves, Christian asserts, "No. I want all of it."

"And you have all of it, Mr. Grey…all of me."

Christian groans and says, "Fuck it. What time is lunch for you today?"

"Uh, one, I guess. Why?"

"At five minutes past, I'll be waiting in that stairwell you use to get away from everyone."

"How…? Oh; minions. I think that's a wonderful idea, thank you." Remembering a conversation from what seems like eons ago, Ana says, "Fucking stairs."

"Exactly. Thank you, Mrs. Grey, for granting me permission to breach the inner sanctum of Grey Publishing."

Ana giggles at his formal tone and says, "I don't think you asked."

"No. But I would have let you forbid me."

Ana and Christian enter John Flynn's consulting room hand-in-hand and sit down on the sofa without breaking that bond. Flynn greets them both and asks Christian, "How are you feeling right now?"

"Shit-scared. But also surprisingly optimistic; a relatively new sensation for me. Is that due to the medication?"

"It could be, and Ana's influence, no doubt. What about you, Ana? How do you feel?"

Glancing at her husband, Ana says, "Scared for Christian. I don't like the thought of him experiencing pain. But I know he's strong enough, so I'm confident this will go well." She smiles when Christian taps her hand twice.

Proving why he's in charge, Flynn says, "What was that just now?"

The couple communicate silently for a moment, and then Ana says, "It's…remember that Christian does some things twice? We came up with a code for public situations; a reminder that we love and trust each other. It's two taps on any part of the body. At first it was to stop Christian from going ballistic, but now it's just…well, just a reminder. When he does that, I know he's in control."

When Ana looks to Christian for his side of the explanation, he grins and says, "When Ana does it, I know that I'm not in control, but not to panic, because she is."

That familiar too-much-love ache in her chest, Ana says, "I didn't know that's how you interpreted it."

Smiling at her, Christian says, "You never asked."

"Should I leave?"

Christian laughs and says, "Sorry, Doc. As you can see, other than the fact that I'm still sometimes almost paralyzed with fear, things are going very well."

"And, hopefully, you'll soon be rid of even that symptom. Oh, how did you go with testing the medication's effect on your 'two' compulsion?"

"Good. As you suggested, I started off small. Before the medication, if I didn't tap my toothbrush twice, I'd soon got that familiar skin-crawling feeling that something bad was about to happen. This morning the feeling was still there, but I could ignore it." With a grin, he adds, "Though I eventually tapped the second time, just to make sure I wasn't stressed for this."

"Good thinking." Leaning back in his chair, Flynn says, "Well, I think you're ready. What memory have you chosen?"

Christian's sudden fear is palpable when he says, "The first time he beat me."

His voice amazingly calm, Flynn says, "All right, Christian. You're my last client for the day, so don't try to force it. If you feel like you can't continue, or I think you're getting too stressed, we'll take a break. But, once you start, I will ask you to continue until the scene is done, okay?"

It's a reminder, not an instruction, so Christian merely says, "Got it."

Of Ana, Flynn asks, "Ready?" When she nods, he says to Christian, "Do the exercises and the mantra, then begin."

Ana watches in fascination as Christian adjusts his position for comfort, then appears to tense and relax every part of his body, his lips moving as if in silent prayer. At one point, he winks at Ana, saying, "I am safe. I am loved."

Somehow, she knows that this mantra is something new, since she came on the scene, so she smiles her love for him and says, "Yes."

When Christian's expression becomes too calm to be anything other than a cover for his fear, Ana knows that he's ready. So she forces her own body to relax and silently repeats his mantra as her Fifty Shades begins, "Sshh! She would say, 'Sshh, baby boy. Stay here and keep quiet for Mommy.' And I could tell she was scared, though I didn't know why. I guess it was a cupboard under the sink. All I remember is that it was dark and smelled of mold and chemicals. I still can't stand that fucking smell. Mostly I'd go to sleep. Other times I'd hear him, grunting away. I've since worked out what they were doing, of course; he'd get her high and then fuck her. He was the only man I ever saw in the apartment until after she died, so I guess it was the price she had to pay for a safe place to live. Safe? Hah!"

Christian's guttural laugh is so harsh that Ana wonders if it actually hurts his throat. After a deep breath, he grimly continues, "This time I was woken by her muffled screams. She was on her knees and he was beating her with a whip improvised from a wire coat hanger, as she held both hands over her mouth to silence her reaction." Ana watches in horror as Christian's hands unconsciously describe the shape of the weapon in midair, as if he really is seeing at all over again. "I didn't know who he was. I didn't know why he was hitting her…still don't. But I knew that it had to stop it. So I launched myself at him…almost knocked the fucker down, too. He must have got one hell of a surprise when a howling missile of nothing but fucking skin and bones smacked into his legs."

Again in that calming monotone, Flynn says, "Take a moment to relax, Christian, and then resume. This is going well."

Impressed when he doesn't directly compliment Christian, given that her husband struggles to accept praise even from her, Ana suddenly realizes that the quiet, unassuming man before them knows his patient even better than she does. It's a revelation that gently soothes all her concerns about today and, when he glances at her, she's able to offer him a genuine smile and says, "Yes, it is, thank you."

The almost imperceptible lowering of his shoulders confirms that even John Flynn had been nervous about putting them through this ordeal. He's more relaxed when he again turns his attention to Christian, who soon continues, "It didn't work, of course. I probably only weighed as much as his legs. He swore and turned on me, putting his foot on my back to keep me still as he said, 'Hello, turd. Where were you hiding?' I didn't know what it meant when he then looked at Mommy and said, 'I've got a better idea.' She knew, though. She cried out and lunged at him, trying to take the weapon from him. He backhanded her and said, 'Five lashes. This time. If you do it again, the next time will be ten. Can you count, bitch?' She begged for a while. But he just backhanded her again and yelled at her to count."

Christian's chest is heaving with the effort of containing his rising panic. Ana can feel his elevated pulse where her hand rests in his. Desperate to comfort him, she taps his hand twice. He manages a weak smile and says, "I'm okay. Believe it or not, this is a calm reaction compared to earlier efforts to tell Flynn what happened."

Flynn smiles, though it's a little grim, and says, "Not long now, Christian. But you need to finish the scene…at your own pace."

Christian nods and lets his gaze settle on neither of them as he says, "Of course, I'd felt pain. But nothing like this. By the second lash I was screaming my lungs out. He growled, 'Shut him the fuck up, or I'll make it ten now.' So she…my mother…"

Christian suddenly leans forward, letting go of Ana, and puts his head in both hands. He's gasping and trembling, sweat soaking through his shirt. Flynn catches Ana's eye and motions for her to be still. Shaking with her need to comfort the grown but still broken little boy next to her, she complies. Flynn somehow still sounds relaxed as he says, "Time for a break, Christian. Calm your body. Have a drink of water. Walk around, if that's what you need. There's no hurry."

Christian meekly follows all of Flynn's suggestions, adding a kiss for his wife before resuming his seat and again holding her hand. After a few seconds and a deep, shuddering breath, he continues, "My mother crawled over to me and clasped a hand over my mouth, saying, 'Sshh, baby boy. It'll be over soon, I promise. Be quiet for Mommy, okay?' I tried. I really did; somehow managed to stop crying. But, when he hit me again, I still screamed. It got muffled by her hand though. He hit me one more time and then threw the coat hanger down, saying, 'Four this time, 'cos you done so good. But you'd better fuckin' tow the line, bitch.' I was too far gone to notice when he left. But I know that he did, because Mommy cradled me on her lap, rocking and soothing me until I finally fell asleep." Looking at Flynn, he concludes, "By then my hair was wet from her tears."

No one speaks for several seconds. It's Ana who breaks the silence, saying, "Can I have a hug, now?"

Christian laughs and crushes her to him. They just stay like that for a while. He releases her only enough to lift her face to his for a kiss, then says, "Thanks, baby. Couldn't have done it without you."

Ana smiles her love for him and says, "Of course you could. But I'm glad I helped." Of Flynn, she asks, "How many times do we have go through this?"

With a grimace, Flynn reveals, "Until Christian can do that without the physical symptoms." Brightening a little, he says, "The good news is that this was a success. I wasn't sure that it would work at all, given that it's been so long since the original trauma. But this is more than Christian has ever been capable of articulating until now. So we know that, whatever the clinical outcome of these sessions, he will be less stressed by the end of them."

Ana looks at them both in wonder and ponders aloud, "Stress-free Christian…I wonder if I'll like him?"

Proving just how far he's come since they met, Christian grins and says, "Baby, you're going to love him."

Author's note: More? Or shall me move on with something less traumatic? Thanks to AriadneInNaxos (seriously; thank you), I've emerged relatively unscathed. So either is fine with me.

Thank you, to all who voted, either way. I also liked the comments that equated to, "Don't mind what you write, so long as I get to read it." Thank you.