Once he heard the door to his domain slam shut, signaling Ulquiorra's and Orihime's exit, Szayel headed for his research lab. He grabbed the clipboard and the pen laying on top one of the tables, and started amending Orihime's characteristics, recording the results of his latest experiment.

Subject: Inoue Orihime
Species: Human
Age: 16 years old
Sex: Female
Height: 157 cm
Weight:
Family: Mother and Father (situation unknown), older brother (deceased; seems to have been the substitute parental figure during development), distant relatives
Physical Characteristics: Soft orange hair held back with two blue clips, brown eyes, smooth skin, heavily endowed chest
Other characteristics: Blushes easily, intelligent, observant, inquisitive, amusing sense of humor, frequently apologizes (submissive?), very warm, uncomfortable with familiarity, demure, eccentric, radiating light/life from her entire being...

Experiment 1: Exposure to the world outside Las Noches
Null Hypothesis: There will be no change in the subject's behavior.
Alternative Hypothesis: The subject will exhibit behavior characteristic of happiness and/or elation.
Results: Both the hypothesis and the null hypothesis were proven incorrect. The outdoor stimulus elicited a melancholic reaction in the subject.

Reading over the results of the first experiment again Szayel frowned. Orihime didn't get upset until he told her the trees in Hueco Mundo weren't alive. Was that what affected her, being the only living thing there?

Experiment 2: Logic and problem-solving task
Methods: Four slips of paper were randomly placed within the subject's room: on the back of the door, under the table, on the window frame, and under the rug. On the slips of paper were written haiku, clues that would lead the subject to the next haiku. With the fourth and final clue the subject would find the reinforcement. In this experiment, the reinforcement was a simple silver chain with a butterfly pendant inlaid with pink stones.

A knock on his domain's door interrupted Szayel just as he was starting to write down the null and alternative hypotheses. He listened, but after a moment, he brushed it off as his imagination and returned to his work. Then he heard another knock. Sighing, he pushed himself up from his desk and made his way to the door.

"Why, Cuatro-san, this is a surprise," Szayel said, and meant it. Ulquiorra didn't visit him unless it was necessary. Even more shocking was the emotion currently etched into the other Arrancar's face. This was the first time Szayel could remember seeing him visibly enraged. "What brings you to my domain?"

Ulquiorra said nothing. He held out his hands, showing Szayel the burnt form of a once pure-white cube. He released the cube with a crash. "If my eyes ever lay sight on this thing again," spat Ulquiorra, "I will make sure there is nothing left for you to fix."

He glared at Szayel then, turning on his heel, rushed back to Orihime's room.

Szayel stood there, his gaze shifting between where Ulquiorra previously stood and where TREA currently lay in pieces. His grin grew. Kneeling to pick up the pieces from the floor, Szayel returned to his laboratory and placed them on a table.

"How ungrateful," he said, laughing. "Destroying my gift like that." He made his way back to his desk to finish jotting down his notes.

Null hypothesis: The subject will take over 10 minutes to complete the task.
Alternative Hypothesis: The subject will complete the task within 10 minutes.
Results: The null hypothesis was proven correct in this task; however, there were confounding variables that affected the results. Task will have to be repeated in order to get a more accurate representation of the subject's mental capabilities.

Szayel didn't know whether to be relieved or annoyed the reason Orihime took so long was her inability to read his handwriting. In any case he had to admit the realization amused him—but only slightly. Now he had to replicate the task without the first experience affecting her performance. There were only so many places he could hide the clues.

He searched his notes one last time, making certain not forget anything that could be relevant. He frowned at the blank spot next to 'weight.'

This would definitely be tricky to obtain. Even Szayel knew better than to ask, "Orihime-san, how much do you weigh?" The only reaction that would elicit would be a slap…or maybe an outraged exclamation, if he were lucky. Either way she would close up to him. Szayel couldn't afford to take that chance, not with the progress he'd made so far.

He tapped the pen against the desk. Asking her to get on a weighing scale wouldn't work either. That would arouse just as much suspicion, in not more.

"Perhaps if I carried her I could approximate her weight. That would be better than nothing," said Szayel, bouncing the idea around. "But what reason would I have to carry her? And if a certain Espada heard what had taken place, I have no doubt he would have more than his share of issues."

Szayel stood and walked over to the table where the now destroyed TREA lay. He ran his fingers through his hair. "I despise having incomplete data, but it seems there's no way around it this time."

A few days passed before Orihime saw Szayel again. Once more she was in his domain, in the same laboratory TREA was first created, only this time Szayel was repairing the cube. It lay on the table, a little more than half-fixed. He seemed to be looking for a specific part in the pile beside him.

Orihime smiled as she watched Szayel work. To her surprise, she was happy to be there—not that she didn't appreciate Ulquiorra's company. He treated her well, she supposed, but he wasn't the most talkative of people. Szayel was at least willing to listen to whatever she had to say, even if it was silly or meaningless.

"Oh, I almost forgot," said Orihime, and waited until she noticed Szayel throw her a glance. "Thank you so much for giving me TREA. It really helped me understand what Ulquiorra was saying. Well, before he completely destroyed it."

Szayel smirked. "You're welcome. Although I think it might've caused more trouble than it was worth."

"Well..." Orihime shook her head. "It's all right. It wasn't your fault, Szayel-san." She thought back to what TREA had translated. "Was that what Ulquiorra really meant?"

"Hmm?"

Her cheeks flushed. "N-Nothing. It's not important."

"Now, now, Orihime-san," Szayel teased, stepping away his work momentarily. He wagged his finger at her. "You shouldn't start something unless you're going to finish it."

Orihime looked away. Her boots suddenly seemed more interesting now than they had before. "Really, it's nothing." The weight of Szayel's gaze pressed down on her, feeling heavier with each second. "It's just—well—there was one translation TREA gave that I think…might have been…maybe a little...less than accurate."

Szayel refrained from laughing. She really knew how to circle around the issue in order not to insult anyone—even if said person was, by all accounts, her enemy. Her vagueness only made him want to probe further.

"What was said and how was it translated?" he asked, adding a bit of weariness to his voice.

"Well," started Orihime, "basically Ulquiorra said that it was time for my meal. And what TREA translated it as was"—her face turned redder with each syllable she spoke—"I want to make love to you over and over again."

This time Szayel had to laugh, both at her reaction and at TREA's translation. "I'm afraid it was accurate, Orihime-san."

"Are you sure?" She wrung her hands together. "It can't be, Szayel-san. Ulquiorra doesn't even like being in the same room with me, if he can help it. I mean, he doesn't even like me, let alone want to do…that."

"If that's what you wish to believe," Szayel said, and returned to the task of putting the cube back together. He wasn't in the mood to argue.

Orihime started walking over to him. "I hate just standing here. Is there anything I can do to—?"

"Szayel Aporro-sama!" said Lumina and Verona in unison.

Thinking back on the incident, it could've been avoided. But everything happened so fast. The Fraccion had come out of nowhere and approached so quickly it had taken Orihime by surprise. Lumina had gotten underfoot, and Orihime, noticing him at the last second, attempted to move out of the way, tripping in the process. Her hands shot out in a vain attempt to lessen the impact of the fall.

Time seemed to stop as her hands made contact with the ground. No one made a sound.

"Orihime-san," said Szayel, offering her his hand. He shot his Fraccion a glare for good measure. "Are you all right?"

Verona and Lumina began to sweat profusely.

"I think I'm okay, Szayel-san." Orihime took his hand, laughing sheepishly. "I really should be more careful of where I—"

Suddenly she let out a high-pitched scream. The three Arrancar winced at the sound. She dropped back to the ground, holding her right ankle. Tears formed in her eyes but didn't fall.

Szayel knelt down next to her. He removed his gloves. "Here, take off your boot. We need look at your ankle, make sure it's not broken."

"I don't think it is," Orihime said, and removed the boot as he requested.

With her foot in one hand Szayel felt the bones for any breaks. He didn't feel anything out of place. Mostly likely it was a sprain. Good thing too. If a single bone had been broken, he knew at least one individual would be more than willing to return the favor—and then some.

"No broken bones," he said while putting his gloves back on.

"That's a relief," said Orihime, reaching for her boot. She didn't know what to think about the gentle way his fingers ran over her skin. It seemed so contradictory to an Arrancar's nature. "What now, Szayel-san? Is there a chair I can sit on?"

Szayel snatched the boot from her grasp. "Leave it off. You need to keep as little pressure off that foot as possible." He tucked her footwear under his arm. "I think the best thing would be for you to rest. We should return you to your room."

What a fortunate turn of events. Szayel could barely keep the grin off his face. Just a few days ago he had been thinking of an excuse he could use to estimate her weight. He supposed that meant those idiots were exempt from punishment—this time.

"Don't Orihime-san," said Szayel, noticing her struggling to stand. "Here, I'll carry you back to your room."

"W-What? No, Szayel-san, you can't. Please! I'm too heavy for you to carry!"

"Nonsense," he laughed. "I may not look like the most physically-abled Espada, but my strength is far more than that of an average human." He reached over, placing an arm on her back for support, and then slid his other arm beneath her legs, lifting her with ease.

Orihime wrapped her arms around his neck, holding on for dear life. Her blush deepened at their proximity. It was too warm, too close, for her tastes. And here she had been under the impression the Arrancar were colder than humans.

Approximately 44 kilograms, Szayel noted.

He made his way over to the entrance of the laboratory. "You two!" Lumina and Verona stiffened at the sound of his voice. "Open the doors. And don't take all day!"

The trip back to Orihime's room was awkward to say the least. It was hard to ignore the murmuring of Arrancar, pointing at the pair as they passed. Orihime was only too grateful when they finally reach their destination. Szayel helped her into one of the chairs and settled himself into the other across the table.

"T-Thank you, Szayel-san," she said softly, her hands in her lap, playing with the hem of her uniform.

"There's no need to thank me." He leaned over the table. "It was nothing."

After all, it allowed him the opportunity to retrieve the last bit of descriptive statistics.

She frowned. "But all those Arrancar we passed were saying very…not nice things…"

Of course Szayel knew. He could hear what they were saying even better than she could. But he ignored them. In the words of a certain Espada, they were nothing but trash. Their opinions had no value to him whatsoever.

They sat in silence. Szayel watched Orihime play with the butterfly pendant around her neck. Eventually she got tired of that and looked at him, as if noticing he was still there.

"Are you going to go back to your domain? Oh wait, you can't. You have to stay and watch me."

"Yes."

Another stretch of silence passed.

"Hey, would you like to play a game with me?" Orihime asked, smiling. "In the pile of stuff you got for me. I haven't had anyone to play with yet."

Szayel smirked. "I take it Ulquiorra wasn't willing to indulge you?" She shook her head, her smile slipping a bit. "Which game did you want to play?"

Orihime pointed to a red and yellow box at the top of the pile. Szayel walked over and brought it back to the table, reading the lettering printed on the cardboard box.

"Operation?"

"Mmhmm! I could have played this by myself, but it's more fun when you play with others," she chirped, removing the lid. "Anyway, when I saw this game I knew you'd like it."

"What exactly is the goal of this game?"

Orihime placed the batteries included with the game into the back of the board, and then dropped the white plastic pieces into the holes. "Well, what you have to do is get as many of the pieces out of the 'patient' using the tweezers. You pick a card, and it tells you which piece you need to get and how much it's worth if you remove it. The amount varies depending on how hard it is to get. But if you miscalculate and the tweezers touch the metal, then the nose on the patient will light up and your turn is over. The person who makes the most money wins."

"I see. Why don't you go first, Orihime-san?"

"So, Szayel-san," she said, picking up a card from the pile. She attempted to get the spare ribs. "Can you take off your glasses?" Her expression brightened as she removed the piece and laid it on the table. She reached over for another card, this time the wrenched ankle card. "Wow, talk about a coincidence!"

"I'm afraid not," he said, as she placed the plastic piece next to her and grabbed another card. "It's the same as Ulquiorra's helmet. It's a part of us, so it cannot be removed."

Orihime managed to get the charley horse piece from the board. The next card she drew was for the broken heart. "Aww," she said, frowning. "I wanted to see what I'd look like in Szayel-san's gla—"

BEEP! The red nose on the game lit up.

Sighing, Orihime handed the tweezers to Szayel. "I guess that's the end of my turn. But really," she said as he carefully removed the butterfly in the stomach, "you can't remove your glasses at all?"

"No, I really can't," remarked Szayel, chuckling. "That's all right though. I think you look much better the way you are now."

Orihime blushed at his comment.

After removing the water in the knee, the Adam's apple and the wishbone, it was still Szayel's turn. This time he was aiming for the bread basket.

"You're really good at this game, Szayel-san!" Orihime smiled, her head resting in her hands.

"Of course, Orihime-san. This is much simpler than dissecting a real creature. What kind of a scientist would I be if I couldn't a handle a little—?"

BEEP!

"What?! I didn't touch the metal, the stupid—!" exclaimed Szayel, resisting the urge to cero the board.

"Hehehehe!"

Szayel stopped yelling when he noticed Orihime's laughter, his attention shifting to her. That's right. He still hadn't thought of a comparison for it.

"Don't have to get too upset," she said in-between giggles. "The game is always a bit temperamental."

She took the tweezers from his grasp. Szayel watched as she picked up the piece he had trouble with and smirked at the calmness of her reaction.

Interesting.

In the end Szayel won. It didn't help that whenever Orihime was trying to get her pieces, she would think of his outburst and start laughing, making her bump into the metal of the board. Before Ulquiorra arrived, she thanked the Octava Espada for playing with her.

"You didn't even win," he pointed out, standing from the table.

"I know." She shrugged. "That doesn't matter, whether you win or lose. It's about how much fun you had. And I had a lot of fun. That's why I said thank you. I know you didn't have to play this stupid game with me."

He smiled as he headed for the door. "It was nothing, Orihime-san. I had fun, too."

Szayel scooped up the clipboard with his notes and added:

Weight: Approximately 44 kilograms

Finally! Even if the method of obtaining the data was extremely convoluted.

Szayel was nearly finished putting TREA back together when he heard a knock on the entrance door. He couldn't shake the feeling of déjà vu. Intrigued, he went over and opened it.

Ulquiorra stood before him, his hands in his pockets. There was an undercurrent of irritation in his reiatsu."Why is the woman's ankle injured?"

"If you're implying that I injured her and, as a result, should be removed from my post," said Szayel, "you'll be sorely disappointed. It was an accident. You can ask Orihime herself. She tripped over one of my Fraccion."

Ulquiorra glared at him briefly before nodding, apparently accepting the scientist's explanation. "Oh, yes. One more thing," he said as he walked away. "I will not be on any missions for some time. Your assistance is not needed."

Shutting the door, a grin formed on Szayel's face. That was fine by him. He need more time to work on his next experiment.