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Observations and Revelations

12 Weeks
October

"How can a fetus the size of a plum be making me this large already?"

Sandy looked up from the magazine she was reading. She and Kerry were in their bedroom getting ready to go to her brother and sister-in-law, Eddie and Theresa's, house for their son's first birthday. She had already showered and dressed and had been relaxing on their bed as she waited for Kerry to do the same. Now the redhead was standing in front of the full-length mirror with only her pants and bra on, staring at her profile. Sandy didn't think Kerry looked too big at all; yeah, her normally toned, flat stomach had expanded into a small, soft bump, but it was hardly noticeable when she had clothing on.

"You look beautiful."

"I look like I've gained weight."

"You have gained weight."

"You know what I mean."

Sandy put the magazine down and joined Kerry in front of the mirror, standing behind her and gently putting her hands over the mound. "You're beautiful," she repeated, murmuring into Kerry's neck.

Kerry reveled in Sandy's warm embrace, closing her eyes and breathing in the warm scent of her partner's vanilla shampoo. She had been lucky; while nearly every other scent, even her own shampoo, had been making her nauseated over the past few months, the vanilla had still remained her favorite.

After a long, peaceful moment, Kerry opened her eyes and shifted away from Sandy. Expertly, she grabbed her blouse from the nearby chair and began buttoning it. "I'm going to have to buy maternity clothes soon." She said with a bit of a chuckle. "I don't know how much longer I can wear my shirts untucked without my belly sticking out."

Sandy, sitting back on their bed, couldn't stop herself from responding, "We're going to have to tell people soon, too."

Having been working on the final button, Kerry paused and looked up.

Sandy braced herself for a rant, one she had already heard, about how it was Kerry's body and Kerry's choice as to if and when they broke the news to people. The first time she'd heard it—she'd been subjected to it twice now—she was hurt; yes, it was Kerry's body, but it was both of their baby and she thought that earned her the right to share the news at least with her parents and siblings. She was thrilled about becoming a mother; it wasn't something she'd always dreamed of, and at first she was a little wary of it, but now that it was happening she couldn't imagine doing anything different. She loved this baby, she loved Kerry, and she wanted to tell everyone about it.

Instead of exploding, however, Kerry nodded her head slowly. "You're right."

Sandy was shocked. "I am?"

"Yeah," She shrugged, "it's going to be too hard to keep it a secret. I'll need to talk to Robert about maternity leave and once that happens the entire hospital will probably know. I think it'd be nice to tell some of our friends, too, and your family deserves to know." Kerry forced a smile to her mouth, "I want to tell people, I do; I just don't want to them to react negatively."

Sandy placed her hand over Kerry's; "We don't need to do it all at once. We can go nice and slow. Tell everyone in waves. And hey, you already told Susan and she was great, right?"

Kerry nodded.

Sandy could feel her relaxing. She leaned over and kissed the redhead's temple. "Everyone's going to be thrilled for you."

"For us." Kerry corrected.

"Something's different about your girl, Sandy." Miguel said, staring across the room at Kerry. The redhead was sitting with wife Anna and Eddie's wife Theresa at the kitchen table.

Sandy followed the police officer's gaze across the kitchen with furrowed eyebrows. "Different?"

"Yeah, she has a look about her. I don't really know how to describe it. Mom pointed it out when you first got here." The oldest Lopez explained casually.

A momentary panic ripped through Sandy; Kerry agreed that they should start telling people the news, but did she mean today? They hadn't discussed specifics of how, when, or who they were going to tell…

"Kinda' reminds me of when Anna was pregnant with Adrian."

Sandy slowly raised her eyes to meet his.

I know, the deep brown eyes and almost imperceptible grin silently assured Sandy.

"I want Miguel to get a vasectomy." Anna said bluntly.

It was particularly difficult for Kerry not to spit out the water she'd just taken a sip of. Out of all of the sisters-in-law, Anna was the one she got along with the best. Part of it was because they were pretty close in age and both worked in the healthcare field, but the other part was definitely the nurse's sense of humor.

"Hey, I'm serious; three kids is enough for me. I'm happy. He wants six kids so they can have the same kind of upbringing that he did, but there's no way I'm going through another 27 months of pregnancy. No way."

Kerry nodded along; she'd only experienced three months of pregnancy and was pretty certain she would be digging herself an early grave if she put her body through six full-term pregnancies.

"Well I think we're going to try for another." Theresa said easily. "Probably when Alex is a year and a half. I think two's a good number."

"Does Eddie know that?" Anna shot back with a knowing grin.

Theresa smirked. "He will soon enough."

Both women laughed; Kerry wasn't sure what was funny about the comment but smiled anyway.

"What about you, Kerry?" Anna asked, eyeing the redhead.

Kerry felt like a deer caught in the headlights of a Mack truck. "Uh—what about me?" She asked, her voice breaking momentarily.

Neither woman seemed to notice. "Are you and Sandy going to start having some babies soon? You're both so good with them, I think you'd make great parents…"

"Thank you," Kerry responded with a genuine smile, her heart warmed by the compliment. "We're…you know, it's something we're talking about." She said, unsure of how exactly she should reply. She and Sandy had agreed that they'd start telling their family, friends, and coworkers but they hadn't discussed whom they were going to start with or when they were going to start. Kerry certainly didn't want to take the chance to tell her family away from Sandy.

"Oh, that's fantastic!" Anna responded.

Kerry smiled. Hopefully everyone else would think so, too.

"Miguel knows." Sandy whispered into Kerry's ear, shielding the secretive message with a small, quick kiss to the cheek. Looking at Kerry with serious eyes, she claimed the empty seat next to her and placed her plate on the dark, wooden dining room table.

Kerry raised her eyebrows, silently asking her wife if her brother's reaction was positive or negative.

Sandy smiled wider.

"Hey, what's going on with you two?" Carlos, the youngest of the Lopez kids at only twenty-four, asked.

"They're in love, Carlos, what do you expect?" Interjected his brother Anthony's wife, Gabby.

"This is different." Carlos said, shaking his head. "You're making eyes at each other, whispering, you haven't stopped smiling since you got here. What gives?"

All eyes, young and old, were now trained on the couple in question.

Sandy looked at Kerry, raising her eyes in question.

The doctor nodded, smiling anxiously.

Sandy inhaled and exhaled deeply before facing her brothers, sisters-in-law, and parents. "We're going to have a baby." Sandy finally said, "Kerry's pregnant."

Carlos let out a loud, excited whoop, clapping his hands together once; Miguel and Anna smiled knowingly; Eddie, Theresa, Anthony, and Gabby all shared similar expressions of happiness; and Hector, Sandy and her brothers' father, wore a thin, though genuine smile. The only one who didn't appear to be feeling the slightest bit of excitement was Florina Lopez; she was sitting at the far end of the table and, upon hearing Sandy's declaration, had simply brought her cup to her mouth and taken a long sip of water.

Sandy and Kerry didn't pay much notice to Florina's reaction or lack thereof. Instead, they accepted great big hugs from Carlos, Miguel, and Anna, and well wishes from the rest of the Lopez siblings et al. The couple answered, or at least tried to answer, the numerous questions everyone had as they ate dinner. It was exhausting but Kerry kind of enjoyed it; she wouldn't in a million years have assumed that the Lopez family would be so accepting, never mind so excited.

After dinner the family switched gears to celebrate Alexander's first birthday. Once the huge, round cake had been presented, the candles had been blown out, and the slices had been doled out, Sandy found herself standing at the kitchen sink with her mother.

"You haven't said much," Sandy commented, accepting the plate her mother had just washed and drying it with the dishcloth.

"I don't have much to say." Another plate.

"Are you angry?"

"Of course not." A cup.

"Well you sure don't seem very happy."

A long pause and another cup.

"She's blanca, mija. White."

Sandy shook her head. "Anna's white."

"Anna's Catholic."

"Kerry's religious." Sandy shot back. "Is it because she's disabled?"

Florina narrowed her eyes dangerously at her daughter. "Sandra…" she scolded.

Sandy knew she'd pushed too far; her mother was sexist, conservative, and moderately homophobic, and there were many things she didn't like about Kerry and Sandy's relationship, but she had never discriminated against Kerry because of her disability. "Then what's wrong?"

Florina dropped her hands into the hot water with a defeated sigh. "You didn't tell me, mija. You never tell me. She's making you keep secrets. She's changing you, mija."

Sandy frowned. "We agreed to no tell anyone until after twelve weeks. It was a mutual decision. We didn't do it to hurt you, any of you, and I'm sorry you feel that way." She spat back, keeping her voice low. "And you're right, Kerry has changed me. She's made me into a better person, a better lover, and is making me into a mother. If you can't see or accept that, then we've got a bigger problem than us keeping things from you."

Florina's eyes held her daughter's for a long time. "It's not yours," she said at last.

Sandy shook her head with a disapproving, derisive grin. "It is mine, Ma. It's both of ours. We decided to have this baby together. I helped pick out the donor; I watched Kerry give herself dozens of shots and held her up after she spent hours kneeling on the bathroom floor, puking; I went to appointments with her, I held her after the painful procedures, and I spent two horrible weeks waiting to find out if we were going to have a baby. I am going to be there every step of the way until the baby is born and then I am going adopt him so I'm his mother legally, as well." Sandy paused before finishing her thought, "This baby is just as much my son or daughter as it is Kerry's. I hope you're able to see that."

Florina stared with soft but unyielding eyes. Finally, she dropped her gaze.

The two Lopez women finished washing and drying the dishes in silence.