Kindness, Concerns, and Considerations

28 Weeks
February

"A Valentine's Day Party? Are we in sixth grade again?" Kerry asked from the passenger's side of the car, "I hate Valentine's Day."

Sandy grimaced inwardly. She'd known for a long time that Kerry disliked Valentine's Day but hadn't considered it when their friends had decided to throw a surprise baby shower disguised as a Valentine's dinner. It had been a struggle to even get Kerry out of the house to begin with; she was tired from her shift, she was dealing with leg cramps and back pain, and she'd hardly been sleeping all week. That's what Sandy surmised, at least, because Kerry wasn't doling out information about how she felt all too willingly as of late.

"Come on, it'll be a good time;" Sandy said with a soft but enthusiastic tone, "We always have fun at Lauren and Steph's."

Kerry huffed, neither agreeing nor disagreeing with Sandy's comment.

The couple drove the rest of the way in silence. The only time they spoke was when Sandy asked, after they could only find a single spot on their friends' street, if Kerry wanted to be dropped off before she parked. Kerry had responded with a pointed 'no' and the couple parked Sandy's Subaru Outback five or six doors down from the vintage brownstone townhouse.

"There are never this many cars parked on this street…" Kerry commented under her breath as they walked through the frosty air to their friends' home.

"I offered to drop you off."

"I'm just saying."

Sandy didn't respond. Instead, when they finally got to the top of the stone steps in front of Lauren and Steph's house, she rang the doorbell a specific two times in row.

Seconds later the door swung open and a chorus of 'surprise!' erupted from within the house.

"Wha—"

Kerry's shocked, confused question was cut off by a hug from Lauren.

Kerry hugged her back and, as she did, peered over her friend's shoulder to take in her surroundings. She spotted Lauren's partner of ten years, Steph, and their toddler son, Samuel; a handful of their closer mutual friends; Kerry's longtime friends Mike and Joel and their five year old Maia; and a couple of the Lopez kids.

"So I'm going to take an educated guess and say this isn't a Valentine's Day party…"

A few laughs rang out through the living room. "No, but it was a pretty great excuse to get you to your surprise baby party, wasn't it?" Steph asked as she took Kerry and Sandy's coats.

Kerry smiled and nodded, "Baby party?"

The brunette grinned, "Sandy said you said you didn't want a baby shower, but we figured that a dinner party to celebrate the imminent arrival of your firstborn would be alright."

A loving smile was directed from Kerry in Sandy's direction.

Steph spoke up again, "Anyway, come in and have a seat. Can I get you anything? Water?"

Kerry allowed herself to be shuffled deeper into the warm house and exchanged hugs and hellos with the other guests. Finally, she snatched a seat in an overstuffed chair that was only a short few feet away from Joel, Michael, and Maia. The trio began talking, mostly about Joel and Michael's work at Rush Medical Center and Kerry's at County, and Kerry soon felt the deep exhaustion of her day retreat from the forefront of her mind. She was definitely still tired—she had been for four months, now—but talking to her old friends made her feel considerably better. As the trio continued to talk, five-year-old Maia pulled herself away from her father's arms and climbed off the couch. Tentatively, she walked over to Kerry's seat and began to stare curiously at the woman's belly. All six of the trio's eyes were trained on the little girl.

"Your belly is big," Maia said matter-of-factly.

Kerry nodded and spoke softly, "Do you know why?"

A pensive expression crossed Maia's face before she nodded, "You're gonna have a baby, right?"

Kerry smiled, "It's growing inside my belly."

Coal colored eyes grew wide, "In there?" She asked, pointing to Kerry's belly.

The doctor nodded, "It's moving around right now," she told the young girl, "do you want to feel it kicking?"

A smile exposed her missing front tooth. She began to nod but paused to look back at her fathers for confirmation. The two men smiled and waved her on. She extended her small hand and Kerry grasped it gently and directed it towards the top right-hand side of her belly. After a moment, Maia began to giggle. "Is that his foot?" She exclaimed, still laughing.

Kerry smiled and nodded affirmatively, "That's a foot."

The little girl turned back to her fathers, her face glowing with excitement and her infectious giggle still spilling from within. Her tiny hand remained there for a few more moments before her face suddenly fell and she looked up at Kerry with wide eyes, "It stopped." She looked terrified.

The expectant mother had to repress a chuckle. "Babies need to take a break sometimes, too."

Maia's grin returned in understanding and she pulled her hand away from Kerry's belly.

The party continued without a hitch. After a period of socializing with their friends, most of whom Kerry hadn't seen in many months, Lauren and Steph announced dinner was ready. After that, the group gathered in the living room as Kerry and Sandy opened gifts. Most of the vibrantly wrapped boxes and thoroughly stuffed gift bags held onesies, hats, bibs, and blankets in neutral greens, yellows, greys, and browns. Lauren and Steph gave them a set of what they thought to be the most essential Dr. Seuss books, but Michael and Joel bought them the most thoughtful gift of the night.

When Kerry first opened the box, she wasn't quite sure what to say; not because she was shocked, but because she really wasn't positive about what exactly the gift was. To her, it just appeared to be a pile of thickly padded, black nylon straps.

"It's a baby carrier—you know, one that you can wear on your chest, put the baby in, and then have your hands totally free." Joel explained easily, "We know you can never have too many free hands when you've got a newborn. We had one with Maia and it was great."

Michael nodded in agreement. "And wearing them close to your chest is supposed to help with developing a relationship. Ours really helped us bond with Maia." He glanced quickly at the kindergartener who was sitting in the middle of the living room floor, playing with Lauren and Steph's son, "We always fought over who got to wear it when we went out."

Kerry was struck speechless for a few long seconds. The two men had clearly put a lot of thought into the gift, having considered not only the unique situation she and Sandy were in as a gay couple, but also the unique situation she was in as a disabled mother. It wasn't something she lingered on or wanted others to linger on, but they had clearly thought about it in terms of practicality. Instantly she was reminded of why she'd considered them such good friends ever since she met Joel during their residencies at Mount Sinai.

"Now, if you don't like it there's the gift—"

Kerry waved her hand, bringing herself back to reality. "I love it. It's great." She glanced at Sandy who was sitting next to her on the loveseat. The Latina was wearing a soft smile. "We'll put it to good use."

By the end of the evening, after the many presents had been loaded into the Subaru and goodbyes had been exchanged, Kerry and Sandy were back in their own apartment on the other side of the city.

"You had a good time, right?" Sandy asked Kerry as they readied for bed.

Kerry nodded and yawned at the same time. "Better than I thought I would."

"And it was a good group of people? I wasn't sure if you'd want me to invite anyone from the hospital…"

"It was a great group." Kerry paused as a thought crossed her mind, "Your mom wasn't there, though...was she invited?"

"Of course she was." Sandy was disdainful but quiet as she spoke.

Kerry waited to see if her wife was going to explain it further. When she remained silent, Kerry spoke carefully, "Have you talked to her recently?"

Sandy shook her head silently, her eyes studying an invisible pattern on the plush ivory carpet. Her eyes were stinging with tears and she opened and shut them a few times over.

Kerry's heart ached as she watched her wife shutting down right in front of her. The sight brought back memories of the night they'd announced to the Lopez family that they were pregnant; though Kerry initially thought everything had gone over well, she found out when they were driving home that night that Florina had been all but approving of their decision. Despite Sandy's stony exterior, she knew that it had hurt her and that Florina had a strong hold over her daughter. Though Sandy would never admit it, it was evident to Kerry that the older woman's approval was something she thrived on.

Kerry lowered herself to sit next to Sandy. Gently, she cupped her wife's chin and drew her face upwards and out of the dark shadow her body was creating. "Hey, come here…" She said, pulling Sandy close. With her other hand, she wiped the few stray tears off a smooth cheek. "It's okay, San. It's okay."

Sandy nodded her head against Kerry's chest and rested her hand on her enlarged stomach. The contact grounded her and helped her remember what was important. Regardless of what her fierce, bigoted mother wanted, thought, or approved of, Sandy knew that this was where she belonged. No one, not even the angriest Florina Lopez screaming in the fastest Spanish she'd ever heard, could change that.