We spent the rest of the lesson taking notes on each of the Unforgivable Curses and there was not even a whisper from class. When the bell rang to signal the end of class I took my full opportunity to race for the door. It seemed the only person who had beaten me out of the room was Neville. He was standing alone in the middle of the hallway just staring at one of the brick walls.
"Neville?" I asked putting my hand on his shoulder. "Are you alright?" Neville took in a deep breath before answering me. When his did speak his voice was much higher than usual.
"Oh Hello Alice. Interesting lesson, wasn't it? I wondered what's for dinner, I'm starving aren't you?"
"Neville it's lunch time." but before I could say more Emily, Draco and Hermione joined us in the hallway.
"Oh Alice there you've gone!" Ron called from further down the hall with Harry at his side.
"Neville are you alright?" Emily asked "You left your book in the classroom." She smiled as she handed him his textbook.
"Oh yes, I'm fine." He answered her in the same unnaturally high voice. "Forgetful as usual, very interesting lunch, I mean lesson, what's for eating?"
"Are you sure you're…" Hermione began before a distinctive clunking noise began to echo down the hall. Professor Moody came limping towards us and we grew silent.
"It's alright sonny." She said to Neville. "Why don't you come up to my office? Come on we can have a cup of tea." Neville looked as if Professor Moody was the last person he wished to have tea with and I couldn't blame him. Moody's magical eye eerily swirled back and forth between Harry and I before pausing on me.
"You alright are you Potter?"
"Yes." I answered in a convincingly normal tone. The scary blue eye lolled around again as Moody spoke to the group of us. "You've got to know it seems harsh, maybe, but you've got to know. No point pretending well, come on Longbottom, I've got some books that might interest you." Neville had no choice but to allow himself to be steered away, with Moody's gnarled hands on his shoulder.
"What was that all about?" Draco asked.
"I don't know." Hermione said as if trying to shake the whole event from her head.
"He forgot his book again." Emily said holding out Neville's textbook again. "Could one of you make sure he gets it?"
"Yes." Hermione answered putting the book in her backpack among several others.
"Shall we head off to lunch?" Ron asked leading the way to the Great Hall.
"Is everything about food with you?" Harry asked, Ron simply shrugged his shoulders.
"Some lesson though eh?" He interjected as if trying to change the subject. Emily, Hermione and Ron became engaged in a long discussion about the excitement of the lesson and how much trouble Dumbledore could get into if the Ministry found out he had allowed Professor Moody to show us the Unforgivable Curses. Only Draco, Harry and I seemed to be in deep thought about the actual curses themselves. When we reached the Great Hall we waved off out three favorite Gryffindors assuring them that we would see them in afternoon charms class.
"Are you two alright?" Emily asked once the three of us found seats at the Slytherin table. Draco mumbled something about having a lot on his mind and I uttered a similar response while neither of us looked up from our shoes to answer. After a few minutes Draco at least made an effort to start a conversation with Emily. I on the other hand continued to stare of in space still scared to death of the power of the Three Unforgivables. I passed through the rest of the day like a ghost. I went to all of my classes, and even dinner, but I didn't participate in any discussions or cause any trouble. My bad mood from that morning had been replaced with a strong sense of disconnection from the world. Emily asked me several more times that day if I was alright and I tried to sound convincing but I knew she could see right through my lie. When she asked again during dinner I constructed a more elaborate lie.
"I haven't been feeling well since this morning. I think that's why I started the day off in such a bad mood." I told her knowing she'd remember my angry outbursts at breakfast. "I think after dinner I'm going to pay a visit to the Hospital Wing, see if there's anything Madame Pomfrey can do. I'm sure I'll feel better after that."
"Well, if there's anything I can do, all you have to do is ask." She told me smiling.
"Thanks Em. Don't wait up ok? I don't know how long I'll be."
"Ok." Once dinner was over I headed off in the direction of the Hospital Wing once I was sure I had given Draco and Emily enough time to make their way down to the Slytherin common room, I doubled back and made my way into the dungeons heading for Severus' office. When I reached the office door I gently knocked hoping Severus was alone. His usual low tone called through the door.
"Enter." I cautiously opened the door my mind reeling trying to think of a good excuse for visiting in case Severus was not alone. Someone was standing with Severus in his office and I was instantly relieved to see that it was only Draco.
"Good evening Miss Potter. Please have a seat while I finish my discussion with young Mister Malfoy."
"It's alright Professor I believe you've answered my question. I'm sure Alice has something important to talk to you about, I'll see you both tomorrow." Draco said excusing himself from the room. Once the door of the office clicked shut Severus sat in the chair behind his desk and stared at me expectantly. When a beat passed and neither of us spoke, Severus broke the silence with a question.
"Yes?"
"Yes what?" I asked "I haven't said anything yet."
"I meant yes, as in what are you doing in my office? You know this may be the first time you've come to visit my office voluntarily without some sort of punishment hanging over your head." For once Severus' no-nonsense attitude was almost comforting.
"You sound like Remus. He used to always say I never visited his office when I wasn't in trouble." I heaved a sigh. "I suppose he wasn't wrong."
"Allison it's the first day of classes, short of flying a car into the Whomping Willow what could you have possibly done already?" A small smiled passed through my lips as I remembered my second year at Hogwarts. During the Welcome feast Harry and Ron had in fact flown Mr. Weasley's flying car into the Whomping Willow that rested on the Hogwarts grounds.
"It may surprise you Professor Snape, but for the first time, this Potter does not find herself in your office because of any trouble she has gotten herself into."
"What about trouble someone else got her into?" Severus chuckled at his own joke. "Because as I'm often told trouble is unavoidable for you lot." I smiled again, but when I remembered my reason for coming to Severus my smile faded away again.
"Fourth year Slytherins had Professor Moody's Defense Against the Dark Arts today."
"Yes. Draco mentioned that to me as well. What brings you down here tonight, the absence of your Uncle, or the…uncomfortable subject matter included in today's lesson."
"The second one." I answered looking at the floor. "Don't get me wrong, I miss Remus, I really do." I told him as I looked into his dark eyes. "Last night at the feast I couldn't help but feel like I took advantage of Remus while he was here at Hogwarts. That's part of the reason I was still in a foul mood this morning at breakfast, but I was mostly over it but the time we got to Care of Magical Creatures. Then we had Moody...and now I'm just as mess again."
"Why don't you start off by telling me exactly what happened in class today. Draco's account was vague and difficult to understand." I recounted Mad-Eye's entire lesson concluding with the Neville joining him for tea. Once I was finished Severus leaned back into his chair. "I see." It was hard explaining things to Severus. I could recount events to him without difficulty, but unlike Remus, Severus always had difficulty understanding how the events made me feel.
"Maybe it's no big deal." I began, pausing to take in a deep breath. "But seeing those curses like that…I've always known dark magic existed, but until today it wasn't in my face. I've always seen the beautiful things magic can do, I underestimated just how powerful it can be, and honestly that scares me to death. The idea that a life can be taken faster than a flash of green light…or that the most painful torture can be summoned with one word. I've always known we've lived in a dangerous word, but I never understood how dangerous until today. I must sound so stupid to you. Of course you know what it's like out there. It's the sort of thing you deal with all day. You put yourself in danger everyday just to protect me. Me, a silly girl who treats that sacrifice like it was nothing." I was a hysterical, sobbing mess. I was talking too fast and my words were blending together, while salt water rolled down my face. Severus rose from his desk, quietly and quickly. He sat in the chair on the side of me placing my hands inside one of his larger ones. Using the sleeve of his free hand Severus wiped away some of my tears away before speaking.
"Allison listen to me." He looked into my eyes, something he very seldom did. Sweeping some hair from my face he continued. "Allison Lillian Potter, yes life is dangerous and my life may be more dangerous than some, but danger is just a part of life. Everything in life comes with a price, some are easier paid than others, but without great risk there cannot be great accomplishments. One of the things I've always admired about you is your constant determination to do the right thing. You often go about "the right thing" in the wrong way, but you are doing the right thing, and I hope that never changes about you." I smiled again, drying my last few tears.
"You should know I've learned everything about right and wrong from you." Allowing a genuine smile to escape him, Severus stood and became his usual composed self.
"I know a certain Potions Master who has a fourth year double potions lesson first thing tomorrow morning, and he's going to have nothing to teach if he can't finished up his lesson plans tonight." I laughed.
"I know a certain Potter who wouldn't mind if their Potions Professor forgot to plan a lesson and was forced to cancel class."
"When did we start talking about your brother?" Serverus asked dipping his quill in a bottle of ink.
"Another failed attempt at comedy Professor Snape. Come on Sev, what do you say to a round of hot cocoa and then you can work on your lesson plans?" Severus looks up from his lessons and seemed to be honestly debating the option in his head. He paused for several seconds before answering.
"One cup, and then you're off to bed."