Chapter Forty-eight

With Nan's physical decline well documented, there is no need for an autopsy. So, three days later, the memorial service is held at a nearby funeral home. Ana and Christian are here, having extended their stay for this purpose, though Carla had left as scheduled; apparently missing Bob too much to stay even a few more days. A permanent cover of almost black clouds, and a steady drizzle of bone-chilling rain, seems entirely appropriate.

Pru, uncharacteristically quiet these past few days, is still subdued; huddled against Nigel's side as she walks from the car. Watching them, his arm around her shoulders as he guides her into the building, Ana remembers the conversation she'd had with the young woman on the morning after Nan's death…

"I had no fucking idea they were shagging, did you?"

"Uh, I doubt they've been doing much of that lately, Pru. But, no, I didn't know they were a couple. It bothers you?"

"Fuck, yes, it bothers me. Al's been…well, fuck, he's been more of a father to me than my own dad. And now I find out that he effectively was my father, though he and Nan never married. It fucking pisses me off."

"Why, sweetheart?"

"I dunno. I guess I feel like I missed out on being close to him…like I maybe would have had…more with him if I'd known."

Noting how often "I" appeared in the sentence, Ana said, "Have you considered it from Allen's point of view? He was only doing what Nan wanted, and she was doing what she thought was best. You must know that, when she was worried what the family would think of her dating 'beneath her station', it was mainly him she was thinking of. I bet she was concerned what a potential scandal might do to you and Jerry, too."

"Yeah, I guess so. And I can't fucking stay mad at him; he's a doll. Fuck, what do you suggest I do about this?"

"I suggest you get over it and go talk to him; he needs you right now."

It had been enough; Pru had thanked Ana, embraced her and gone in search of Allen. Since then, there has been an obvious closeness between the two, despite the difference in their ages; with Pru taking every opportunity to let Allen know how much she appreciates him, through word or gesture—like right now, when she leaves Nigel's side only to rush into the old man's arms and say something that Ana cannot hear.

"Okay, baby?"

"Huh? Sorry; just thinking about things." Realizing that Christian's concern is genuine, she smiles a little and adds, "Yes, I'm okay. What about you?"

The grim set of his jaw being the only sign of distress, Christian quietly reveals, "So far, so good. Don't fucking let go, okay?"

Anyone looking would probably assume that Ana's arm through his is for her support, but the couple knows better. With Nan being the second dead body Christian has seen in his life—his mother being the first—his nightmares had returned the past couple of nights. And, though he hasn't wept, he'd been deeply affected by first the death and then the outpouring of grief that had gripped the household since. Only Ana knows what it's costing him to be here today. Tightening her grip on his arm, she promises, "I've got you, Grey."

It's enough to curve his lips slightly in a grateful smile and he agrees, "Yes, you do."

It's an open casket. Ana tries not to think about what has been done to keep Nan looking as if she's only sleeping. Christian's grip tightens as they near the coffin. Worried, she glances at him and he gives a short, terse nod to show that he's coping. Ana has already said her goodbyes, so doesn't feel the need to actually approach.

They're being ushered to their seats when there's a commotion at the door. Glancing that way, Ana sees that Pru is in a heated discussion with a man in a wheelchair; the man's carer, a woman, also having a few indignant words. On noticing that the man's skin is jaundiced—one of the signs of liver disease—Ana guesses, "I think that might be her parents."

Frowning, Christian says, "Stay here, baby."

Clutching his arm, Ana nervously asks, "Why?"

With his first genuine smile of the day, Christian kisses her cheek and commands, "Trust me."

She trusts him enough to release him, but watches every move he makes. He approaches the now reasonably large gathering; a few other relatives rallying behind Pru and Nigel, and a couple of the security staff vigilant nearby. Christian offers his hand in greeting to the newcomers, and they apparently cheerfully accept. Wondering how he seems able to command even strangers, Ana watches in fascination as he, with a smile and a gesture, persuades them to leave the room with him, somehow also compelling everyone else to remain behind.

Pru, still visibly shaken, sits down next to Ana, muttering, "Fuckers! I was better off on the streets than with them. They've never sent a penny in support while I've lived with Nan. Fuck, they didn't even visit me in hospital. And suddenly they're concerned enough to attend the funeral? They're not fooling anyone. They think there's fucking money to be had."

Taking Pru's free hand—the other, of course, is in Nigel's—Ana asks, "What did Christian say to them?"

Finally able to smile, Pru reveals, "He politely introduced himself as the new owner of Elspeth Hall and acted delighted to meet them, suggesting that they discuss matters in the next room. But they didn't see him wink at me. He's kind of wonderful, isn't he?"

Ana laughs and says, "I've always thought so."

Several minutes later, Christian returns alone, looking very pleased with himself, and offers a thumbs-up to Pru and Nigel as he sits next to Ana.

"Well?"

"Well what, baby?"

"Well, what happened? What did you say to them? Have they gone?"

With the hint of a smile on his lips, Christian quietly reveals, "I thanked them for coming and asked them for money."

Resisting the urge to laugh, Ana says, "You know they're here looking for money, right?"

"Of course. I explained that the estate is in debt and everyone in the family will need to help out if we're to keep it going."

Pru asks, "And that worked?"

Christian leans closer for a moment, to whisper, "I also threatened to break his legs if they came back in here."

Pru giggles and says, "I'm surprised that worked."

Christian shrugs and says, "It probably helped when I lifted him, wheelchair and all, and carried him out the door."

Pru chokes on her laugh, in an attempt to stop it, then says, "Thank you, Christian."

Nigel quietly interjects, "Yes, thank you, sir. I probably would have actually broken his legs, so it's a good thing you handled it."

With that lopsided grin, Christian reminds him, "You're off the clock; you don't have to 'sir' me anymore."

"Habit."

Most new arrivals walk past the coffin and pay their last respects to Nan before the professional ushers escort them to a seat, and the large auditorium gradually fills to capacity; the staff having to fetch a few more chairs to accommodate the crowd.

When everyone is seated, Allen walks to the small podium near the coffin. It's enough to silence the large gathering. With a stoicism no doubt forged from several decades of coping with loss, Allen begins, "Thank you, for being here today. I know that Nan would be touched, even a little awed, by how many of you braved this weather to show your love." Bowing his head, he adds, "And, thank you, for accepting me into the family. She was very worried about that, though I argued that no one cares about such things any more. It's a pity that I can't claim this small victory, as I so rarely won our arguments." Taking a deep breath, he continues, "The one good thing about cancer is that it gives you time to plan, so today is exactly how Nan wanted it. My only contribution is to say that I knew Annabel Marie Lambert her entire life and never met a better definition of the word 'lady'. She is truly the best person I've ever known." Glancing towards the coffin, he fondly concludes, "And I remain, as ever, her humble servant."

Ana had assumed that the huge TV screen on the wall was for photos of Nan's life, so she—along with almost everyone else in the room—utters a shocked gasp when Nan's face appears on the screen; smiling, as if nothing is wrong. "Thank you, for giving me this chance to say goodbye. I wonder how many of you are here? Guess I'll never know…or maybe the Book is right and I'm somehow watching over you? I hope so." With a small shake of her head, she says, "I won't keep you long. If Allen Stewart has done as I asked, and he always has, there's food and beverages waiting for you in the next room. And I genuinely want you to have a good time…cry, if you feel the need. But please try and celebrate my life, not mourn my death. Life's too short for wallowing." The digital image takes a deep breath and the eyes well with tears, as if to make a lie of her own words, before Nan angrily dashes them away with the back of a hand and continues, "Martin Luther King, Jr. said that if a man hasn't discovered something he will die for, he isn't fit to live. I would add that, once you've found that thing you'd die for, live for it, instead. I have devoted my life to my family and friends, and have not regretted one moment of it. My fervent prayer is that you find something equally worthy of your time on this earth. Thank you, and…goodbye."

For a few seconds, nothing is heard but sobbing, then a sad tune gently plays as photos appear on the screen, one after the other; Nan at various ages, some faces familiar to Ana, and many others that she'll probably never meet, all while a soulful male voice sings about a "sad and beautiful world." Finally, it's the profound truth of these seemingly dichotomous words that helps Ana to weep.

After a second farewell dinner and tearful goodbyes at the estate, Ana is still a bit fragile on the way to the airport, leaning into Christian for emotional support. They're accompanied by Lea, Nigel and Pru. The jet (this time the familiar GEH vehicle) is ready to go. There are more tears, of course, as they say goodbye; even from Lea. So Nigel has to comfort his sister and his girlfriend as the weary travelers are escorted onto the plane.

Secure in their seats while the plane taxis to the runway, Ana is clutching Christian's hand as she says, "I know it didn't go as planned, but that was the best vacation ever, thank you."

Christian grimaces and comments, "I don't know how you can say that, baby. I introduce you to your great aunt, only to have her die beside you."

Desperate for him to understand, Ana explains, "Exactly. If it weren't for you, I would only have learned of her existence when a probate lawyer contacted me. Now, she's in my heart forever, because of you. And we have a second home in England, the place of my ancestors. Thank you, darling."

Somewhat buoyed by her sincerity, Christian smiles and says, "Okay. But you're wrong."

"Wrong?"

"This wasn't the best vacation ever; the next one will be better."

Leaning her head on his shoulder as the plane takes off, Ana sighs with pleasure and says, "I believe you."

Once they're in the air and finally on their way home, the professionally charming flight attendant offers snacks and drinks. When Christian looks to Ana, silently inviting her to choose something, she says, "I think maybe I'd just like to go to bed."

She can see by the slight widening of his eyes that he's understood, though he says nothing; just dismisses the woman with a nod and stands, never releasing Ana's hand as he leads her to the bedroom and shuts the door. Only then does he speak. "You sure, baby? It's been a hell of a day. I'll understand if you'd rather sleep until we land at Sea-Tac."

After the emotional rollercoaster ride of this day—hell, of this past week—Ana is almost desperate to reconnect with Christian in the best way possible, in this familiar setting. "We'll arrive in the evening, right?" At his nod, she starts undressing and says, "Plenty of time for sleeping after we land."

Christian gently stills her hands and takes over the task of removing her clothing as he grins and says, "That's my girl."

As if they've discussed it, they're both gentle, at first; silently and tenderly seeking those achingly familiar places that offer the most pleasure for both of them. But, when Ana pushes Christian back onto the bed and straddles him, sighing at the exquisite perfection of their bodies joining, tenderness fades away, to be replaced by raw passion. And they both become their basest animal selves, clasping and clawing as they grunt and moan their way to blissful oblivion—she calling out his name as a celebration of everything that is good in her life. Then, despite her assertions, Ana falls asleep in his arms, to dream of flying free like a bird.

Exiting the jet, Ana almost weeps with something like relief on seeing Taylor waiting for them, looking tanned and rested after his Hawaiian vacation; his healthful glow so incongruous under this typically dark and foreboding Seattle sky. She mutters "Hug alert," to Christian, not very concerned that he'll be jealous, then practically flies down the steps and wraps her arms around the bodyguard's waist as she exclaims, "Jason! We missed you."

Quickly recovering from the shock of suddenly having an armful of employer, Taylor laughs and says, "I missed you too, ma'am. I'm glad you're safe, and I'm sorry to hear about your aunt."

Releasing him only after the imposition of a quick peck on the cheek, she says, "That's okay. It was about as perfect as such things can be. How was your vacation? How's Gail?"

"Vacation was wonderful, thank you. Gail is well, though happy to be back at work. Two weeks of someone else doing everything for her was almost too much. She maintains that none of them did it quite right, though everything seemed just fine to me." There's something else in his smile—something R-rated—when he concludes, "Blissfully so."

Delighted that her and Christian's show of gratitude to their favorite employees went so well, Ana laughs and says, "I guess she's just got used to doing things her way, so it's a good thing she'll be in charge of maintaining our new home. Oh, have you seen the house? Is it nearly done?"

With a glance to Christian, for one of those silent conversations, Taylor explains, "You're about to see for yourself, ma'am."

Looking to Christian, Ana asks, "We're going straight there?"

"Yes, baby. I'm afraid that the yard is still a bit of a mess, because the landscapers can't get here until Thursday. But Elliot pulled out all the stops so that we can wake up on Christmas Day in our new home. Jason and Gail have spent the past two days moving us in…at least, our clothing and other essentials. We'll move the bigger stuff—like your desk and my home gym—when things settle down. Other than that, we have all new furniture, so we can keep Escala pretty much as it is."

Though it sounds like a done deal, Ana knows him very well by now. He's keenly watching her reaction, worried that it's the wrong decision. So she doesn't keep him waiting long. With a glorious smile, she earnestly declares, "Perfect."

They snuggle on the short drive to the house. Christian's unease returns on the sight of their yard…their mud puddle; still covered with evidence of the many workers who must have sweated to get the renovations done on time. So Ana kisses his cheek and repeats, "Perfect."

He merely shrugs and says, "It will be. I promise you."

Ana knows by how that, if he's determined to sulk, the best thing is just to ignore it, so she crooks her finger to bring him closer and whispers, "I'm looking forward to making love in our new bed."

No one could stay in a bad mood after that suggestion. Christian smiles, kisses her and vows, "I love you, wife."

They have to traverse a network of wooden planks to reach the front door without walking in the mud—Christian, of course, making sure that Ana does so safely. The door opens to reveal a smiling, and also tanned, Gail. Ana embraces her and is excitedly asking questions about Hawaii when Christian says, "Uh, baby? Little cold out here."

Giggling, as she moves into the entrance foyer so he can enter, Ana says, "Sorry. I'm just so happy to be home."

Christian mouths "home" and they're still smiling at each other when Gail says, "Well, I've put out refreshments for two, and there's more in that gargantuan refrigerator if you're really hungry. Unless you need anything else, we'll see you in the morning?"

Ana embraces both Gail and Jason, and Christian bothers to shake their hands as they all say goodnight. When they're gone; the sound of a sturdy lock automatically clicking into place seconds later, Ana asks, "They're not staying here?"

"No, baby. Remember? They have their own residence."

Of course, she did know that, but hadn't really processed the fact that she and Christian would actually have the house to themselves most of the time. "What if we need one of them?"

Pointing to what looks like a wall phone, Christian explains, "Intercom; three on this level, two upstairs and one in the basement. Gail is only a call away and Taylor will be here in seconds if anything trips the alarm. And they both have permanent access to the main house, but will mostly stay in their residence. Oh, same deal as Escala; you're not to enter their place without permission, okay?"

"I wouldn't. We're really alone?"

Grinning, Christian asks, "What do you have in mind, Mrs. Grey?"

Answering his smile, Ana says, "I thought, first of all, you might give me a tour? I haven't seen this place since the last time Gia needed my opinion on furnishings."

Taking her hand, Christian leads her towards the living room as he says, "It would be my pleasure, ma'am. I've implemented all your wishes, and added a few of my own; including the refrigerator Gail mentioned."

Ana laughs and says, "Doesn't sound as if she likes it."

"Possibly because it's a Smart refrigerator, so she'll need lessons on how to use it. But I suspect that it's just because she has to clean it."

"Speaking of which, should we get her some help? It's a big house."

"Don't tell her, but I've asked Jason to keep an eye on her, especially after the baby is born. He'll let us know if it's getting too much for her."

"Thank you, darling. I wouldn't like Gail to…"

Following her gaze, to see what's silenced her, Christian explains, "Another of my additions. I thought you might enjoy decorating it with me?"

For some reason genuinely moved by the gesture, Ana can only point out the obvious. "You got a tree; a real Christmas tree."

Smiling at her reaction, Christian says, "Technically Jason got a tree, but I'll do the deed next year. And, when our son is old enough to help out, he'll come with me. Elliot wasn't too fussed, but I enjoyed doing so with Carrick."

Walking over to inspect what sort of decorations are in the boxes at the base of the tree, Ana says, "I don't suppose you celebrated Christmas until you were adopted?"

"Actually, I had one; that foster home I mentioned. There was a small, plastic tree and I got in trouble for waking up early and opening some other kid's present."

"Oh, God; they didn't punish you, did they?"

"No, baby. They were a sweet couple who understood that I just didn't know any better." Then he shrugs and says, "That kid who's Christmas I ruined wasn't so gentle." At her expression, he quickly adds, "Just a punch in the arm when no one was looking. Trust me, baby, that's nothing."

Silently picking up ornaments and hanging them on the tree, Ana pushes her sympathy back down inside, as Christian has never wanted pity from her, then asks, "Elliot didn't do stuff like that, did he? He's smart enough to take advantage of your good nature."

"No. He's a good person, too, just in a different way. The worst thing he did was…just between you and me?" At her nod, he continues, "Almost every time I got into trouble with Grace and Carrick, at least as a child, it was actually Elliot who had committed the crime. I'd confess and accept the punishment."

Stopping what she's doing, Ana asks, "What? Why would you do that?"

Christian shrugs and explains, "He asked me that, too, after the second or third time."

"What did you say?"

"That's what brothers do."

Her eyes burning with unexpressed emotion, Ana manages to say, "Can I see the new bed, now?"

Apparently genuinely surprised, Christian asks, "That turned you on?"

Taking his hand and leading him towards the stairs, Ana confirms, "Darling, you turn me on."

Ana wakes with a start, at first unsure where she is. But then the ornate curves of the cast iron four-poster bed bring it all back and she blushes at the memory of being tied to this very frame. Christian had been like a wild thing, his eyes burning with a ferocious passion, seemingly desperate to make the first time in their new home something to remember. Languidly lifting one arm, surveying the telltale red mark around her wrist, and mentally scanning her body for only slightly painful evidence of her husband's ardor, Ana knows that she will.

Drained, but till not sleepy after their session, they'd headed downstairs to take advantage of the refreshments Gail had laid out for them, then gently made love by soft firelight. Ana doesn't even remember returning to bed, and presumes that Christian carried her. Unsure if Gail or Taylor might be downstairs, she bothers with a robe before visiting the bathroom and going in search of her husband. The smell of breakfast being ruined solves the mystery even before she finds him, wearing only a full-length apron over pajama pants, muttering expletives to himself as he makes a huge mess of the pristine kitchen. Ana can't help a small giggle and he turns his frown on her, saying, "Instead of laughing at me, you could fucking give me a hand. Why the fuck couldn't you just get everything the same as Escala?"

Turning off the stove, before the scrambled eggs completely dry out, Ana says, "Because the kitchen at Escala was clearly designed for esthetics, not function. Good morning, husband. Thank you, for making breakfast. And, where on earth did you find a toilet roll holder that includes an iPod dock?"

His foul mood vanishing as if it never existed, Christian grins and says, "Oh, you like that? Bob suggested it and I couldn't resist. I know you like to listen to music while you bathe. The fucking thing has four speakers. Did you test it out?"

"Well, I used the toilet paper. But I haven't showered, yet. I thought you might like to join me?"

His smile widening, Christian says, "What an excellent idea." Then kissing her, and resting his forehead on hers, he adds, "Good morning, wife. I enjoyed our first night, thank you."

Mindful of morning breath, though he's never complained, Ana barely moves her lips as she says, "Me, too. Why are you discussing bathroom fittings with Bob?"

Returning his attention to preparing the meal, Christian reveals, "Because I used him as our supplier. He sourced the best appliances from here and around the world. Wait until you see the laundry! Gail's workload will be halved."

Wondering how Christian's apparently limitless generosity can still surprise her, Ana says, "Bob has a little appliance store in Savannah. Do you know what a job like this will mean to his business?"

"Of course. And that's something we need to discuss…well, Carla and Bob will want to tell you. Are you going to help me, or not?"

Not game to draw breath, for fear that she's guessed wrong, Ana suggests, "Are they moving here?"

"Fuck." Turning, Christian shrugs and says, "I don't know why I forget how smart you are." Discarding the filthy apron, so he can embrace her properly, he continues, "Don't cry, baby. It's not quite a done deal. We first have to find a suitable venue for Bob to open a store locally."

"But…Mom's rehab and therapy?"

"Flynn's on the case; he'll find a suitable therapist."

Still confused—her brain unable to process this gift that she hadn't even known to wish for—Ana asks, "Wait, what about Deidre; Bob's daughter? She's the reason they moved in the first place."

"Her husband, Eddie, has been offered a promotion, if they relocate to Los Angeles. And Deidre doesn't need Bob's help so much now that her kids are all at school. Please don't tell them I let the cat out of the bag? Carla wanted to wait until things were more certain before discussing this with you."

Wiping the few tears on her sleeve, Ana promises, "Okay." Then surveying the mess, she asks, "What are we going to do about this?"

Not quite releasing her—one arm remaining around her waist, Christian looks over what he's done and suggests, "How about I call Gail back and beg her to come rescue us, then you and I can fool around in the hot tub?"

Almost too happy to think straight, Ana smilingly declares, "Best idea ever."

Where credit's due: "Sad and Beautiful World" is by Sparklehorse.

Refrigerator is "Robey's Meneghini three-door La Cambusa"...I want one. Toilet roll holder is "iPod Roll Holder" from the site "Opulent items."