Chapter Six: The Wolf and the Eagle

"I cannot live this way forever
unless I have, in my pain,
some comfort."
– Je ne puis vivre, Busnoys

Lelouch stared off into the forest, watching as Suzaku moved around on the ruined wall next to him. The eagle made no move to fly, waddling awkwardly with his wing bandaged. Lelouch wasn't sure if Suzaku remembered getting hurt. Not much carried over from day to day; the human and the animal were completely separate. That was the part of the reason it was easier to think of Suzaku as dead. Lelouch never saw him anymore, he only got the eagle. Even then he was looking for Suzaku's personality in the bird, or thinking he saw glimpses of his friend.

All he really had was the bird. It was the reality of his life.

He sighed and offered his arm to Suzaku, the eagle stepping onto it calmly. Suzaku was nothing more than a tamed bird, nothing like his friend. Lelouch shook his head and patted Suzaku's back, at a loss of what else to do. The only alternative he could see was death, but he would have his revenge before that happened.

Suzaku turned his head, staring back towards the ruins of the villa. Lelouch didn't bother, preferring to continue to stare out at the forest. He could hear the footsteps well enough and it could only be one other person. Rivalz had hidden himself away in the barn as soon as he had come down off the mountain. The man was probably still trying to figure out the situation he had gotten himself into. That meant that it had to be C.C.

Lelouch sighed and tipped his head up to look through the trees, even though he didn't need to. He always knew when it was sunset; the curse wouldn't allow him to forget. There was no other reason C.C. would come down to talk with him. She had already gotten her explanation in the form of Suzaku. Rivalz was self explanatory. Lelouch would use him to get into Avalon. If C.C. wanted anything else, she could get it herself.

She hopped up onto the broken segment of wall, Suzaku fluttering his one good wing as C.C. leaned over. "Hello pretty bird."

"Don't." Lelouch pulled Suzaku further away from her. "Don't talk about him like that."

"Well, you don't treat him like he's human. That means he's a pet."

"He's not a pet."

"He's not your partner, at least not in the way that you want."

"C.C.-"

"He's as much your partner as Gawain is."

"Shut up!"

Suzaku squawked and tried to fly. The eagle managed a brief lift off before falling. Lelouch leaned forward to catch him, grunting as the strain of the full weight of the bird. He held on all the same, trying to calm Suzaku down.

The eagle finally settled, Lelouch waiting until Suzaku had stepped onto his arm again before sitting up. He stroked the eagle's good wing, refusing to look at C.C. "It's not like that."

"Saying it won't change anything." C.C. spoke more gently than Lelouch expected. He swallowed and kept his gaze on Suzaku's back. Lelouch heard C.C. sigh. "We had a deal, Lelouch."

"For all the good it did me."

"Magic takes time."

"Not the first time."

C.C. scoffed, Lelouch hearing her shift. "Yes, but I want to keep my word. I want to get out of here. I don't want to spend the rest of my life in these ruins."

"Do you think I want to spend the rest of my life like this?" Lelouch looked over at her. "I want this over with as much as you do."

"Over, not fixed."

"There's no fixing this." Lelouch gestured at Suzaku, letting his shoulders slump. He still wouldn't be able to go back to Avalon, they knew he was the demon or thought he was dead. Either way, he couldn't go home. All that was left to him was travelling, running really. He would be running from the enemies that he had made and from his sister. The one person that he wanted to go back to most of all would hate him no matter what he did. There was nothing waiting for him in the end, just more of what he had now. He might have been able to handle it if there had been someone with him, but he knew that there was no chance of that. Suzaku was stuck as an eagle.

He flinched as C.C. flicked his shoulder. "Don't be so pessimistic."

"What else is there to be?"

"Fine then, sulk." C.C. slid off the wall. "See if that works any better. I thought that you would be worth my time."

"You only helped me to help yourself and because you knew my mother."

"And you want to help me to help the two of you. What's the difference?" C.C. shrugged. "Our deal still stands if you want to take advantage of it."

Lelouch shook his head. "I have my own plans. It doesn't matter anymore."

"Do it your way then. Come back when you want my half of the deal."

Lelouch rolled his eyes and kept silent. The deal he had made with C.C. had been when he still had hope. Finding C.C. and freeing her had been the first thing he had done. They had both made the deal when they had been at their most desperate. It had been stupid of him to believe that there was a magic spell that would fix everything. It had been stupid to hope that another magician would be able to help him. The only thing that he could do was kill the man who had done this. Magic had hurt them; there was nothing to say that magic would help them.

He stroked over Suzaku's good wing again, glancing up as his stomach twisted. Sunset was coming. He would have to take the bandage off of Suzaku's wing before he changed, then it would be up to C.C. again. But, come sunrise, they would be leaving. The danger was over and Suzaku could take care of himself on the road. He had done it before and he could do it again. Lelouch wouldn't wait any longer.

He sighed and let Suzaku down on the wall. He would have to get as far away as he could from Suzaku before he changed. Lelouch was sure that he was completely wild when he first changed. He wasn't fit for any kind of company.

Lelouch began to untie the bandage, carefully unwrapping it from Suzaku's wing. He coiled it off to one side, trying his best not to look at the tacky combination of blood and poultice that covered a small bit of it. Instead, he focused on the eagle. "You stay safe."

Suzaku didn't answer, the eagle just flapping his injured wing. Lelouch sighed and removed Suzaku's jesses, setting them to the side as well. Suzaku would be sure to keep them close by until sunrise. At a loss of what else to do, Lelouch leaned against the wall, watching Suzaku. "Don't listen to C.C. I have this all under control."

He looked around before stripping out of his clothes. When sunset came, he wouldn't need them. C.C. would keep everyone away from the forest and Lelouch was sure that he wouldn't wander too far. There was something that kept him close to where Suzaku was. Lelouch liked to think that there was something human left in him when he became a wolf, but he knew that wasn't true. He probably just stayed close because the wolf recognized Suzaku as some kind of pack. Even as a wolf, he didn't have any family left.

Lelouch sighed and folded his clothes. It was still early for his transformation, but Lelouch wasn't ready to face anyone yet. Some part of him was still shaken from watching Suzaku get shot. But there had been some good in the disaster. He now knew that he couldn't risk waiting any longer, not if he wanted to keep Suzaku alive.

He left his clothes on the wall for Suzaku, looking at the bird one last time before walking off. Lelouch had stayed to watch Suzaku's transformation the first few times, but he had stopped because it had been too painful. He only got the smallest glimpse of recognition from Suzaku before he was gone. It was just as painful in reverse. He wrapped his arms around himself and walked away into the trees.

Dearest Nunnally,

This is late and I apologize, but everything was managed so quickly that I didn't get the chance to write until now. But there is good news in all of this. By now you have to have heard that the archbishop of Pendragon is making his way through Britannia to hear the confessions of the clergy. He has decided to go north first to avoid getting stuck there in the winter. Personally, I think it's because he wants to spend the winter in the south.

Even so, it gives me the excuse to come and visit you. My mother wouldn't have allowed me to come any other way. There are rumors that the demon is hunting in the north and of other magicians escaping. I've never believed any of them, but they worry my mother so.

As of now, our party is resting at the house of a noble just under a week from Avalon. The archbishop wrote ahead to Bishop Calares, but I joined the party when they passed through my father's land. We have been treated fairly, but the archbishop has been preaching uncle's message to the people. Apparently it's a reaction to the rumors that have been more voracious in the south, that some of the tribes are trying to unite again, but under one leader. I don't know if the rumors have any truth to them, but Schneizel has been sent down to investigate. Apparently, he's been making a holiday of it. He's even brought along Earl Maldini's daughter. I'm sure that the whole empire is waiting for the day when Schneizel is betrothed to her; I doubt that Uncle will marry Schneizel off to a foreign princess at this point. Odysseus is still officially the heir to the throne, especially since his mother's connections secure peace and power for Britannia. That's good for Schneizel and his lady, although I'm not sure about how good it will be for Britannia.

But you've stayed away from the capital for a reason and you certainly don't want to read my ramblings about politics.

Anyway, I look forward to seeing you again. Keep safe and watching the road for me.

Euphemia.

Nunnally stared at the end of the bed. The fire was dying down, casting shadows around the room. Nunnally traced their patterns on the wall. She couldn't sleep, there were other things she could be doing, like writing a reply to Euphemia welcoming her to Avalon or looking over the records to prepare for the coming of the archbishop. But all she could do was sit in bed and try not to shake.

Lelouch was out there somewhere. She had hoped that he would still be alive somewhere, in the same way she hoped that it had all been a lie. She was still desperate to believe that Lelouch hadn't killed their mother, but the evidence had been too great. And, if he had been innocent, he would have come back.

Now she just wanted it all to end.

Nunnally dropped her head into her hands, taking a shaky breath. She knew that everyone was just trying to help, but she didn't want their pity. She knew what her brother had become, more so than the others. Being reminded constantly that it was alright wasn't helping. Nunnally knew exactly what she had to do. At this point, what she was doing was for the good of the people over what she wanted.

Lelouch wasn't coming back, her Lelouch wasn't coming back. Too many things had happened to her brother for him to come back the way he had been. That was the only way that Nunnally wanted her brother back. Not a twisted version of Lelouch created by magic or by his absence. The situation called for action, and Nunnally was going to take it. Magician or not, there were still reprehensible things that Lelouch had done. She couldn't hold her brother higher than the law.

That was probably the reason that she couldn't sleep. Just because she knew that she had to kill Lelouch didn't mean she have to like it. Working against what she really wanted to do was part of running Avalon. She could focus on her own pain later when people weren't watching.

What she wanted to do above everything was to arrange a moment to talk to Lelouch before he was killed, just to get some one of reason for everything that he had done. She knew that Lelouch would lie or try to act like he was innocent. Any kind of closure would make her happy. As it was now, Nunnally just had the conjectures of the others and rumors, none of which were satisfactory.

Then there was Euphemia's letter. Euphemia had just said that it was the archbishop and his retinue, but she had mentioned rumors. Nunnally tended to ignore anything from the south because it rarely pertained to her. But the fact that the tribes were gathering again in the south would keep her uncle on edge. Nunnally was sure that more than the usual amount of guards would be sent to take care of the demon.

The tribes were probably gathering under the knowledge that the reappearance of the demon meant that their time had come again. Nunnally hated what had been done to them, but their time had passed. Nothing they could do would bring their Britannia back and Nunnally was sure that Lelouch didn't care about them, not unless they could help him in whatever he wanted to do. It was something that Lelouch had learned from their father and something that Nunnally would do her best to prevent. No one deserved to be used so a single person could get his revenge. With the way that her brother was, Nunnally wouldn't it past him. But that was just one thing that she had to prevent. The other was to keep her uncle's troops from taking Lelouch. If she wanted to keep Avalon as hers, she would have to be the one to do that.

If she had to watch her brother get killed, had to smile and applaud like the rest of them, then she wanted to get something out of it. None of the nobles in Pendragon would be able to argue with her position, not with Jeremiah backing her. Calares she could keep quiet, she had to keep quiet for her own safety. Of all the people that would try to take Avalon away from her, Calares was the one that would act the fastest. Nunnally wanted to keep Avalon for the foreseeable future.

Nunnally eyed her desk in the dim light, staring at it before sliding down into bed. She would write Euphemia in the morning and hope that the letter would reach her in time. There were a few warnings that she wanted to give Euphemia and a topic that Nunnally wanted her cousin to think over.

It was a daring move and one that Nunnally didn't want to do. But she would not be married off to any man that she did not approve of. Without a male relative to negotiate the marriage, Nunnally would have to take up her own representation. She was sure that her action would drive off some of the suitors, but Nunnally was more than pleased by that. She wanted to be sure of her choice, which was why she would turn the question of Milly and Euphemia as well. It was the only choice that she had of gaining control. The only other option she had was letting go of control completely.

That too would have to wait until after Lelouch was taken care of.

She pressed her face into the pillow, taking a few deep breaths. She had expected Lelouch to be present for much more of her life, and she would have to kill him. Nunnally supposed that it was a good thing that she had already mourned her brother. That alone might make letting Lelouch go easier.

Rivalz huddled close to the fire in the courtyard, clutching his borrowed cloak close. He could hear a wolf howling, far too close for his own comfort. Rivalz shivered and stared into the flames. He was tempted to go back into the stable, especially since they had two more horses to look after now. C.C. was busy with Suzaku and it wasn't fair to make the two horses suffer. It would take him away from the safety of the villa, something that Rivalz didn't want to risk, not after everything that had happened. Armed guards and magic were just too much for him.

He ducked his head, not moving when he heard someone walk towards him. After everything, he wanted an explanation. He deserved an explanation, especially since he had agreed to sneak back into Avalon. Lelouch had told him that he couldn't use magic and Rivalz had believed him.

He looked up as C.C. sat down beside him, the woman wrapped in her white cloak again. She chucked at the next howl, Rivalz not shocked by her behavior any longer. He sat back and waited for her to stop.

C.C. looked back at him as soon as the wolf went quiet again. "Lelouch is vocal tonight. He's probably looking for a pack, and he's going to be disappointed."

"Why?"

"There aren't many wolves here. Too many humans and hunters have frightened them off." C.C. sighed and pulled her knees up to her chest. "He must be lonely."

Rivalz opened his mouth to ask why she would care, but snapped his mouth shut. The more important question was why she was talking about the wolf like she knew it. Although, Lelouch had said that she was a witch and Rivalz was inclined to believe him. Instead, he gestured out towards where he had last heard the wolf. "Why don't you tame him? It would be better than being alone."

"If it were only that simple."

They both turned to stare at Suzaku as the man came to join them. Suzaku was still holding onto his injured shoulder, Rivalz able to see hints of the bandage from underneath the collar of his shirt.

Rivalz scooted over to allow Suzaku room to sit, putting Suzaku between C.C. and himself. Suzaku gave him a thankful smile, sitting down gingerly. He rubbed at his shoulder, looking out towards the woods. "What's the point in taming something that wouldn't stay?"

"Why do you mean?"

Suzaku sighed and glanced over at C.C. Rivalz half expected to be put off again, just to follow the patter. Instead, Suzaku ducked his head.

"We are cursed, Lelouch and I, for our crimes. The ones we didn't commit."

Rivalz frowned. "But you and Lelouch were charged with killing Lady Marianne."

"He didn't." The answer came quickly, Suzaku glaring at him. Rivalz expected Suzaku to back down, but the man just continued to glare. "What reason could Lelouch have for killing his mother?"

Rivalz shrugged, not sure if he could even begin to answer. The matters of the Avalon nobles were none of his business and often far beyond him. He only knew what he had been told, and those stories had been part of the rumors. Rivalz met Suzaku's gaze, working up the courage to demand an answer.

C.C. beat him to it, staring at Suzaku until he scooted back. She reached behind her, grabbing a stick and poking at the fire. C.C. gave the two of them a sidelong glance before focusing on Suzaku. "You tell him."

"But-"

"It's not my place to."

Suzaku sighed and leaned forward, keeping silent. After a moment, Rivalz turned to face Suzaku. He watched the man drawn symbols in the dirt. Suzaku glanced up at him, not managing to hold Rivalz's gaze for long. "Lelouch didn't kill his mother. He idolized Lady Marianne. Someone else killed her."

"Who?"

"Bishop Calares." Suzaku pressed his palm against the ground, digging his fingers into the dirt. "I don't know why, but he killed her. I got Lelouch out of Avalon and we planned to ride for the border. We just couldn't make it; I couldn't get Lelouch to safety. Then we were cursed. Every sunrise, I become an eagle and remain so until sunset. Lelouch becomes a wolf at sunset and remains so until sunrise."

Suzaku finally looked up at Rivalz. "The bishop cursed us and then lied to Nunnally, said we were dead. And no one bothered to check because they all believed him. A magician, one willing to kill and I missed him. I hadn't noticed for years and it got us into trouble, put Nunnally in trouble."

There was another howl, Suzaku abruptly standing up. He walked away from the fire. Rivalz almost reached out to stop him before he remembered who the wolf was. It was Lelouch and he was alone; it made sense that Suzaku wanted to go to him.

Rivalz settled back down, watching as Suzaku disappeared into the darkness. He ran through the information he had been given, shaking his head. The rumors were completely wrong, not that Rivalz had thought that there had ever been any truth in them after he had met Lelouch. That Calares was the culprit was the one that he wasn't quite ready to believe. He shrugged and gestured toward the forest. "Well, at least it's not too bad. They aren't alone."

C.C. rolled her eyes, flicking her gaze over to him. "You need to pay more attention." Rivalz wanted to be offended, but he was stopped by a glare from C.C. "Have you seen any sign of Suzaku in that bird?"

Rivalz shook his head, flinching when C.C. got up. She didn't walk away though, she just swayed in place. "You're watching a tragedy play out, Rivalz. A jealous bishop exercises his power and the two of them paid the price. And now they live half lives. They're only aware when they are human, and it's never at the same time. And they've been like that for two years."

"Which is why they need me. Killing Calares will break the curse and help Avalon."

"Do you think that Lelouch cares about Avalon?" C.C. scoffed and crossed her arms. "He could care less and Suzaku will follow. Killing Calares will just make him feel better."

Rivalz jerked, turning around so he could see C.C. He had thought that the two of them had been working more closely than they were. Surely Lelouch would know that killing Calares wouldn't break the curse. C.C. wouldn't just let him do something as stupid as ruining his chance to break the curse. And, without her support and Suzaku's, Lelouch would be going in alone. Rivalz turned around to stare at her. "He'll get himself killed."

"Do you think anyone cares?" Rivalz stared at her in shock, trying to come up with a name. C.C. seemed to take his hesitation as capitulation because she nodded. "Exactly, they only have each other. And you now."

"What about you?"

That got a smirk out of her. "I lived most of my life without them and I can do it again."

"Alone?"

"Alone is what I'm used to. Emperor Vincent saw to that."

"But you don't have to be."

C.C. stared to him for a long time, long enough to Rivalz to shift nervously in place. He wouldn't read C.C. well enough for his own comfort. She was sharp and abrasive, Rivalz had seen that much and was tempted to let himself be put off by it. But then she would help Suzaku and take both Lelouch and Suzaku in without a question. None of that sounded like someone who wanted to be alone. And Rivalz couldn't imagine anyone wanting to spend the rest of their life in a ruined villa.

She finally relaxed, shaking her head. "You're too old to be thinking like that. It'll get you killed."

"How can you be sure?"

"Because it happens to everyone eventually."

Rivalz wanted to protest, but held his tongue. He didn't want to be called childish again, especially by someone who had spent her life hiding in the mountains. He had spent more time out in the world than her by that count.

He leaned back onto his hands, staring at the sky. Rivalz traced patterns in the stars, not sure if he was making the constellations right. There were too many shapes that he could make. Rivalz tipped his head to the side, looking at C.C. He was sure that she would know something, even more so if she could actually use magic. Magicians were supposed to know about stuff like the stars.

He cleared his throat. "Are you actually a witch?"

C.C. laughed. "Would it matter?"

"Not to me." He shrugged one shoulder. "I haven't seen one evil sorcerer yet. It's everyone else so far. But there can't be much of a difference at first…" She didn't rise to the bait, Rivalz huffing. "If you are a witch, why can't you break the curse?"

"Because magic is complicated. There are a few spells that don't require preparation, and those are the only ones that remain. A true curse, one that can't be broken can take months to set up. What Lelouch and Suzaku have is a combination of curses, ones that shouldn't be mixed."

"Why?"

"Things get far too complicated and it becomes too hard to untangle." C.C. glanced around before sitting down on the ground. "But the people who use magic now are impatient, which means that spells are hard to break because there's no one left anymore."

Rivalz smiled. "So you'll help them?"

"As part of a deal. I want to leave here."

Rivalz found himself nodding, stopping when he really thought about what C.C. was saying. She was helping them out, and it was obvious that Lelouch didn't have the patience to wait, which was why he was going to kill Calares without waiting. It was a suicide mission. Rivalz looked over at C.C. "He's given up."

"Lelouch was never patient when it came to anything other than his own plans." C.C. chuckled, watching him out of the corner of her eye. "But I have a way to get out of here."

"A way to help them."

For a moment, C.C. hesitated. It was too long to be considered surprise, because he could see the play of emotions across her face before she settled on indifference again. It was enough for Rivalz to reassure himself that C.C. did care despite the face that she put up a front. She may have wanted to get off the mountain, but she cared about Suzaku and Lelouch. By those standards, C.C. was an ally, and one they sorely needed.

It was his chance to help Suzaku and Lelouch as well. He would gladly get Lelouch into Avalon, if there was no other choice.

He leaned forward. "So, how do we convince them to them to do it your way?"

"You don't even know what that is."

"I don't care."

"Fine then." C.C. turned to face him. "Get Lelouch to Avalon in the next few days. They both have to appear before Calares, at the same time. From what I can tell, it'll break the spell."

"That easily?"

"There's more to it than that, but you don't need to know all of the secrets, unless you want those charges of magic to be true." She grinned at him. "Let me worry about that magic. I'll leave Lelouch to you, which will be a challenge in itself. Once he's made up his mind, he won't change it."

Rivalz just nodded, it was the only thing he could do. If C.C. needed it of him, then he would do it. Keeping Lelouch alive was a much better way to pay off his debt to Lelouch than leading him to his death. Taking C.C's warning into account, it would be better to try through Suzaku. Suzaku would listen to reason; he would want to protect Lelouch. It was the only chance that they had.

He stood up and brushed off his pants. He froze at the sound of a howl, taking a few steps toward the villa before he remembered himself. Lelouch wouldn't come close to the villa, he was still a wolf. If Lelouch was calling again, Suzaku must be coming back. It would be his chance to convince him, but Rivalz was tired. He hadn't gotten enough sleep the night before and he was sure that Suzaku was tired as well. Rivalz stretched his arms above his head, jumping when C.C. walked past him.

"Until tomorrow then. And don't disappoint me. I'm not going to risk a trip out of the mountains when everyone is on high alert."

"You and me both." Rivalz watched her leave, jumping when he caught sight of someone coming through the shadows. It was probably Suzaku, on his way to talk to C.C. Rivalz wouldn't imagine that Lelouch would stay for too long, not when they could be moving towards Avalon. C.C. had specified that there was a time limit, and he would do his best to get Lelouch to Avalon in time. That was something that he was sure that he could to. It was everything else that he was worried about.

He glanced toward the stables before heading for the villa. There was sure to be a bed, and it could be the last chance that he got to sleep in a bed. Rivalz was going to take advantage of the chance, especially since he could be returning for his turn at the gallows within a few days time.

Suzaku paused outside of the dimly lit room, watching C.C. move around. He leaned against the door on his good side, crossing one arm over his chest. He was sure that C.C. knew that he was there, she always seemed to know. She would turn and face him when she was done, there was no use rushing her. Lelouch would, and C.C. would ignore him until Lelouch lost his cool.

Besides, Suzaku was sure that he and C.C. had an understanding. They were both on the run from something, both of them at Lelouch's beck and call. And they were all that Lelouch had. Suzaku still wasn't sure how it had happened, but it was how the situation had turned out, and they had to muddle through it the best they could.

He heard the clink of glass on wood, Suzaku looking up. C.C. still had her back to him, but she had stopped shifting through her supplies. She was leaning on the table, braced against it. "How is he?"

"Asking Rivalz would be-"

"Right now."

Suzaku sucked in a quick breath at her sharp tone of voice. He almost snapped to attention, used to that tone being associated with orders. Even two years away from being the captain of the guard, he was still the soldier. Suzaku swallowed the clenched his hands by his side. "He's lonely. He wouldn't let me touch him tonight, although he kept circling close." He licked his lips and looked at the ground. "How long do we have until we're lost to the animals?"

He wasn't sure if he saw her wince, the candles in the room were too dim for him to make out much. He was able to see her straighten up, the witch rolling her shoulders. "You don't have to worry about that. The curse makes you animals temporarily."

Suzaku nodded, pleased with the answer. Lelouch wouldn't have been though; he would have demanded more answers. Suzaku was content in know that C.C. was an expert. They wouldn't have gone through the trouble of freeing her otherwise. Suzaku was sure that C.C. would come up with an answer; it was just a matter of keeping his patience long enough. But even that was running out. He just wanted it to end and he was sure that Lelouch did too.

"C.C," she finally turned to look at him, Suzaku stepping into the room. "Do you know how to break this yet?"

He held his breath as he waited for C.C. to respond, letting it out in a rush as C.C. finally nodded. With a way out, he could get Lelouch to slow down. Better yet, he could be back at Lelouch's side. Suzaku laughed at that thought, reaching back to support himself. "How and when?"

"Not tonight, Suzaku and not for another few days. This is something we have to wait for." She shook her head. "When there is a day without a night and a night without a day."

"What does that mean?" Suzaku stared at her, feeling himself begin to shake.

After everything, after getting so close and hoping that C.C. would be the right answer, there was just nothing. Suzaku had hoped that C.C. would have something, or Lelouch would run into a suicide mission alone and Suzaku wouldn't be helpless to guard him. He would just change and Lelouch would be dead. Lelouch probably thought that he would run, but there was nowhere he could go. He was a traitor in both Nippon and Britannia and a life of wandering did not appeal to him.

He waited in silence in hope that C.C. would explain what she meant. But she remained turned away, focusing on organizing the room. If Lelouch hadn't used the same stalling tactic, Suzaku would have waited longer. He growled under his breath and strode forward. Suzaku slammed his fist against the table, watching C.C. jump.

She turned to face him, frowning. "It means what I said, Suzaku. I know what it-"

"How can you know?"

C.C. stared at him before snapping her mouth shut. She cocked her hip so she was leaning against the table. "Do you want my help or would you rather use Lelouch's way?"

"Whatever will get this over with faster." Suzaku tried to sound confident, but he was sure that his voice wavered.

Luckily, C.C. was too disgusted to comment. She snorted and looked back. "Then Lelouch's way, because it means that you'll get to die. That's all you care about in the end." She waved him away. "Go on then, I'm done with the both of you."

She walked away before he could defend himself, Suzaku left staring after her. He hissed out a breath between his teeth, turning away to walk back onto the outside pathway. He stormed along the columns, glaring at the ground. What he wanted to do the most was defend himself, but there was nothing he could use. C.C. already knew everything about him, and knew how to argue around him.

It was true that he wanted to die; it was the only way to make up for what he had done. Death was the proper punishment for traitors and father-killers. If that was to be his end, he at least wanted it to be meaningful. It was the one selfish thing that he would allow himself. He didn't have Lelouch anymore and he wouldn't have Lelouch for much longer. After all, he was supposed to watch over the noble family he was sworn to and Lelouch was the only one he could watch now.

He stopped to lean against one of the columns, staring up at the sky. He wouldn't be sleeping tonight; he would get plenty of it while he was an eagle. Suzaku didn't want to waste his few hours as a human. The problem was that it left him alone with his thoughts, which often left him with regrets. Suzaku pressed his fingers against the stone. All he had were Lancelot and Gawain, and they weren't much help to him in the long run. They wouldn't talk back and they weren't Lelouch.

Suzaku gritted his teeth. That was his problem, nothing else was Lelouch. And, now that he didn't have to feel guilty about Lelouch and Shirley, nothing was stopping him from missing. He pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes. None of that made it any easier for him, except to give him ideas. Even that was detrimental, because he would be alone after Lelouch's final gambit.

Suzaku huffed out a little laugh, closing his eyes. C.C. was right, they were living a twisted tale and Suzaku had a bad feeling that it wouldn't end happily. People accused of working magic never got a happy ending.

A howl from the forest had him opening his eyes. He turned his head to look at the tress, the corner of his mouth twitching.

Lelouch hadn't let him close. The wolf had snarled at him, but that was it. Suzaku had been worried that Lelouch would finally wander off. It was one of his greatest fears that Lelouch would find a pack and run off, and then live a strange half life. Suzaku was sure that Lelouch was afraid of the same thing. If either of them decided to leave, then Suzaku was sure that they would never be able to find each other again. The animal would always run one way and the human the other. It would mean the end of their attempts to live normal lives, and then they would truly be divided. Suzaku clenched his hand into a fist, suddenly missing the few nights that Lelouch had actually approached him. There was no moment when Suzaku didn't wish that he could bring himself to tame Lelouch. Then he could be sure.

He remained against the column until Lelouch stopped howling, the wolf getting tired or giving up. It was a repeat of every other night; Lelouch would call to other wolves and get no answer. Suzaku wasn't sure whether the other wolves could tell that Lelouch was different or if all of the wolves had been driven away by trappers. Either way, the curse was doing its job.

He hung his head, swaying in place as he contemplated his next move. There was still time to talk to C.C. and try to get better answers out of her. But he was still angry, still hurt that she wouldn't speak tell them the whole truth; they were on the same side and helping them would help her. Suzaku sighed and pushed away from the column. He would abide by whatever decision Lelouch would make. Lelouch was his lord, and Suzaku owed him that.

Calares paced the church aisle, not quite sure why he had come out of his cell. The church had once been a place of refuge, but not any longer. It was oppressive now, a reminder of how he had been foolish. He had once called such folly loyalty, but it was obvious that it had gotten him in more trouble.

Charles vi Britannia had been better for the throne, he knew that much still. Emperor Vincent was too dependent on his secret organizations. Everyone knew that his son Schneizel really ran the country. Vincent was too busy chasing after magicians and his own family. Charles would have been able to hold the empire together. Charles could have expanded the empire with Avalon as the new capital. It was why he had supported Charles' bid for Nippon, even after his death. It was why he had gone to Marianne that night had begged her for Lelouch. Even as young and imperious as he was, Lelouch was his father's son. With Lelouch, Calares could have made a better Britannia. First, they would have turned on the tribes to earn the loyalty of the people and then Lelouch could have taken over his father's plans. The only mishap had been Marianne.

Marianne who had changed her loyalty as soon as her husband was dead. Marianne who had chosen her own heathen blood over Britannia. Marianne who wanted all the glory to herself. Marianne who wouldn't give up her son for the good of Britannia. Marianne who had pushed him beyond his carefully earned control. Marianne who had lost him Lelouch forever.

He spun on his heel and kicked the pew, the sound echoing in the church. Calares seethed silently, fighting the urge to lash out with magic, but there was no one there for him to lash out at. He still needed Nunnally to be able to restart his plans. Her son would be the next step to take out Britannia.

When Vincent died, which Calares hoped would be soon, Schneizel would take over. Calares was more than willing to support Schneizel, even if he insisted on courting the daughter of a lowly earl. Nunnally's son would be built up as a hero, in case Britannia needed another strong ruler when Schneizel died. At this point, a daughter from Nunnally would be more useful. A princess would always beat the daughter of an earl, and the threat that another part of Britannia would separate themselves from the rest of the empire would force Schneizel to make his decision. There were still plenty of cards that he could still play.

Calares sat down heavily on the pew, taking deep breaths and rubbing his shoulder. Everything was back under control; he would survive his mistake and move on. The archbishop of Pendragon wouldn't find anything that would point to him as a magician. Within the week, everything would be settled and he would begin to work on Nunnally. She was young, easily led and she would have him from any further danger.

For a moment, he had the urge to slide to his knees and pray to God, but he resisted. The masses were spoken in rote and Calares had ceased to ask for help, he just prayed for the souls that he had been asked to pray for. He doubted that God would answer the prayers of a magician. Calares shook his head and stared at the circular window above the alter, catching the silver of the moon off to the side.

It hadn't brought him the completely piece of mind that he wanted, but it was far better than praying uselessly in his cell. Doing that would just lead to him going back on his decision to stay; running now would look suspicious. The archbishop of Pendragon would look into the situation and come up with an answer that would keep him out of the country. Calares was sure that no other country would take him. Britannia was not held in good standing by any of her neighbors. Once again, it was Emperor Vincent's fault. Maybe then he could have more of a use for Luciano after Lelouch and Suzaku were killed. He was sure that Luciano would jump at the chance to get some kind of revenge. Then he would have to figure out a way to get rid of Luciano, but that would be the easiest portion of the plan.

Calares stood up, glancing up towards the back of the cathedral. He looked down the aisle, backing up until his back was against the alter. It was a heady feeling to realize that he was safe again, that all it had taken was a single plan. As long as he kept one step ahead of the emperor, he would be fine. Nunnally was easy enough to distract and the bishop of Pendragon had many vices, southern women being one of them. The situation was back in his control. He curled his fingers over the edge of the alter, nodding to himself.

All he had to do was to start pushing his plans into motion, the first to marry off Nunnally as quickly as he could. He couldn't have her working under her own influence. She was trouble enough as she was. The list of suitable men had rested unattended for too long with the panic that had been brought on by the news that Lelouch had been discovered. It wouldn't do to forget his own plans, not when they would win him everything that he wanted.

Calares pushed away from the alter, feeling the weight of the stones lessen. The church was meant to help people, and he was doing his job. The common people couldn't be expected to know what was good for them, that was why there were emperors, nobles and clergymen to help them along, to shepherd them. Calares smiled at his mental comparison. No one would be able to fault him for his actions. It was for the good of Britannia after all, no one could argue with his logic. Anything done for Britannia was done for good.