"Blimey!"

"What's up with you now, you panicky git?" Del asked. He was driving the Trotter's van on the motorway on the way to Doncaster to deliver their produce to Arkwright's.

Rodney was looking out of the passenger's window. "There's a big hole in that field over there."

"So?"

"Am I to take it that you've not been reading or watching the news of these mysterious giant holes that are appearing all over the world, Del?"

"Yeah, I've heard of it," Del said. "Oh, you're not thinking that is one of them holes, are you?"

"No, I think they're just playgrounds safe enough for children to play," Rodney said. "Of course I think it's one of them holes."

"Well, that's just your imagination, Rodney," Del said. "Ah, here we are. Doncaster. Now no more daydreaming and get back to reality."

Rodney almost protested until he decided to just be quiet because he knew there was no point trying to reason with Del.

The Trotters finally arrived at Arkwright's.

Rodney had to yawn. "What a drive!"

"You haven't been driving all the way from Peckham, you lazy little twonk," Del Boy teased. "After we drop this stuff off, we'll have to go all the way back to Peckham. Now, come on."

The Trotters got out of their yellow van. Del left Rodney to unload the stuff out of the back door while he went into the shop. "Hello? Anyone home?"

Then an old man appeared behind the counter. "Oh, h-h-h-hello. I'm A-A-Arkwright. Are you T-t-trotter?"

"Del Trotter, yes. And I have the produce you want."

"Great." Then Arkwright turned around to the back. "G-G-Granville, come out-out-outside and h-h-h-help with this pro-prod-produce."

Then Del was amazed when he saw a young man that looked a lot like him approached past the counter. The young man was amazed as he was.

"Granville, s-stop g-g-gazing at that man and get y-y-your Hungarian b-b-backside going," Arkwright said.

"I'm moving my Hungarian backside faster than you can say it," Granville protested.

As Granville approached the Trotters' van, Rodney got out a big box and passed it to him. "Cheers, Del." Then he had a proper look at who he gave the box to. "Del? What are you dressed like that?"

"I know I look a lot like him but I'm not," Granville said. "The name's Granville."

"I'm Rodney," Rodney said. "That man who looks like you is my brother Del."

"Pleasure to meet you both." Granville really meant it. It was nice to see new people instead of seeing Arkwright and Nurse Gladys, Mrs. Featherstone, Mavis and Mrs. Blewett among the other regular customers at Arkwright's all the time.

"Now what have we got here?" Arkwright asked as Rodney and Granville brought the boxes in.

He went to see and inspect them.

"These look v-v-very good," Arkwright said. "For the p-p-price you s-s-suggested, Del Boy."

"How much, Del?" Rodney asked.

"Thirty pounds for the whole lot, Rodders," Del said. He pointed to Rodney before he could speak. "Not a word now or you'll be heading to the dentist urgently."

Granville looked at the produce. "Are you sure about this, Arkwright? I'm not sure if these soups will be accepted even by soup kitchens."

"Hey, e-e-enough of that Hun-Hungarian at-atutide, if you don't mind," Arkwright said.

"We're very honest and open-minded, us Hungarians," Granville protested. "We like to know about things and make sure they do good to people."

"Well, you know what g-g-good my fo-foot will do – do – do – "

"Do what?" Granville asked. "I don't have all day."

"If only you'd let me finished!" Arkwright snapped. "Just get a move on!"

"Follow me, Rodney."

Rodney followed Granville to the back of the shop.

Then the door opened. Del gasped as he saw it was the man he saw the other day. "Frost?"

Frost recognised Del as well. "What are you doing here, Trotter?"

"Doing some business with Arkwright here," Del said.

"Did I hear the name Trotter?"

Del recognised that as well. "Slater?"

And his fear was proved correct when Slater arrived in the shop. "Hello, Del. What are you doing here?"

"Business, Slater," Del said. "Business with Arkwright."

"That's 'Business, DI Slater' to you, Del," Slater warned. "And you're nicked."

"On what charge?" Del asked.

"For the charges of disrespecting an officer of the law and…"

Then everyone heard a yawning sound. They turned to see a man. He had a grey beard and he was dressed in bright red wizard's robes and pointy hat.

"I'm hungry," the man said.

"Well, if you're a wizard, can't you cook a meal for yourself?" Del had to laugh.

"Enough joking, Del," Slater warned.

"H-H-hold on, Inspector," Arkwright said. "Del might have a-a-a p-p-point here." Then he turned to the wizard. "If you are a wiz-wizard, why would you w-w-waste your time com-coming into shops?"

"That's not like you, Arkwright," Granville called from the back.

"St-stay out of this, G-G-Granville," Arkwright called back.

"Don't let the clothing fool you," the man in the wizard clothes said. "I'm not the best with magic."

"Are you sure you're all right, sir?" Slater asked. "Because I can give you a ride to the mental hospital."

"Slater, what are you doing?" Frost asked. "You can't – "

"I'm the superior and experienced officer here, Frost!" Slater roared. "So you can't tell me what I can or can't do."

"Oh, this is too much!"

Then everyone turned to see the old man snapping his fingers. Then everywhere went white.

Granville's head was spinning. Then he shook his head and looked ahead. He saw that he wasn't at Arkwright's anymore. He wasn't in a shop or inside a building at all. He was outside and it looked like it was some sort of market.

"Granville, there you are!"

Granville turned left to see Rodney approaching him. "Where are we, Rodney?"

"I have no idea."

"Rodney! Granville! There you are!"

They turned to see Del approaching them.

"Rodney, where the hell are we?"

"I don't know, Del," Rodney said.

Del turned to Granville. "What have you been hiding in your shop?" he demanded.

"It wasn't me or my shop," Granville protested. "The last thing I saw in the shop was that wizard clapping his hands."

Del scoffed until he saw Frost holding the wizard by the arm.

"It's true, Trotter," Frost said. "This man has confessed to teleporting to this place wherever the hell this is."

"Well, this is not Peckham, I can be sure of that," Del said, looking around. "This looks like Cornwall."

"It's not. You're not on Planet Earth anymore."

"What do you mean?" Frost demanded. "Who are you? Where the hell are we? And why have you brought us here?

"My name is Rincewind and we're in Discworld."