Chapter thirteen:
Horseshoes and Handgrenades
At a local bar dubbed "Horseshoes and Handgrenades", Gloria was up all night teasing guys who thought they could score on her, while Christian got crazy fucked up, getting into many fights and screaming repetitive phrases such as "I'M NOT FUCKING AROUND!". Some crazy drunk guy convinced Christian that on the inside, everyone's a little gay. "I THINK I'M COMING OUT!" Gloria giggled at him. He pushed his luck in gambling, but actually scored quite a bit of cash. He then began dry-humping Gloria, who laughed, took a shot, and went with it. Christian, Gloria, and some guys they met had a contest to see who could down 21 shots of a nasty, old drink that was used to kill roaches called the Crimson Clover. Christian won, and one of the guys, Tré, came in second. "Woo! I'm second place, bitches!" Christian grabbed him. "No, bitch! Runner up's the first one to lose! *BELCH*" Tré was unreasonably flipping the fuck out. "I'M GONNA BURN IT ALL DOWN!" Gloria eventually told Christian was too drunk, and they had to go home. Christian denied this. "Spell my name, then!" Christian was confused, but still, he managed to scream "G-L-O-R-I-A! G-L-O-R-I-A! G-L-O-R-I-A! G-L-O-R-I-A!"
Chapter fourteen:
Static Age
Hungover, (and still a bit buzzed) Christian complained that he heard static, and everything was muffled. Gloria had hydrated enough that she didn't get too messed up, but she agreed that she couldn't hear much, and her vision was fucked up. Christian yelled "I CAN'T HEAR A SOUND ON THE RADIO!" Gloria responded with "I know, right!?" "WHAT?"
"I WAS AGREEING WITH YOU."
"KAY."
Gloria yelled. "HEY MAYBE OUR HEARING'S NOT MESSED UP, MAYBE IT'S FROM THE LOUD MUSIC LAST NIGHT!?"
"COULD BE, DUDE..."
Christian passed out. He woke up a minute or to later, and drank lots of water. He and Gloria tried watching TV, but their vision was fucked up. They decided to just talk to each other once their hearing was good. They dubbed this level of hangover "The Static Age".