Bella p.o.v

"It's not something I want to discuss Lucy" I say harshly "let me out now goddamn it!" I try to bang on the door knowing full well I can't and won't get out.

I look over to see her beautiful face soaked in tears … it breaks my heart so I go over to her and kneel in front of her kissing each of her tears away but I can't meet her eyes no way.

"Bella, baby, please tell me what's going on." I heard her plead from above me but I just tucked my head under her chin as I tried to control my breathing.

"I-I can't t-tell you" I say hesitantly because I know what will happen.

"Why baby?" She asks with so much sincerity it nearly breaks me as she strokes my hair placing gentle kisses on me.

"Because … because you'll leave me; I know you will." I get up trying to push the thoughts to the back of my head reaching for the door again.

I feel strong arms wrap around my waist as she whispers softly into my ear "be my girlfriend Bella; be my girlfriend and in return I will never leave you."

I turn around in her arms and finally face her; I look up into her eyes and all I see is love; love and adoration.

"Take a chance Bella, I see how hard it is for you to do that Bella but you have to take the chance for love … and if you do it can be the greatest thing in the world.

"Okay" I sigh as she cups the side of my face.

"So …that's a yes?" She asks for reassurance.

"Yes" I smile as she does a little fist pump and draws me in for a long tender kiss; moaning softly I feel like I'm floating and I don't want to stop. Finally I pull away to see a great big smile on her face before she leads me to her bed.

"Bella tell me" She commands and I just look at her confused

"What?" I ask

"Everything" she replies softly and I know … I know she wants to know me.

"O-okay" I take a deep breath as I lie back onto her chest and she starts to stroke my hair again and it relaxes me a lot.

"So … when I was younger I was happy you know; I had a mum and a dad and we were a family, we were happy … I-I was happy. And when they broke up … I was devastated and my dad was devastated I was only 9 years old I didn't understand , but my mami said to me that sometimes these things happen and they're meant to." I can already feel the tears prick the back of my eyes but I refuse to let them fall.

"Its' okay to cry baby" She says softly, how did she know?

"So we um, we moved out and I was so so sad … but my dad promised to take me to baseball games and stuff and promised to visit and he did … he stuck to that promise and he was my best friend Luce, he was always there for me. Mami used to take me out a lot and she was the kindest woman in the world. I could always talk to her you know-" I started to break down sobbing as Lucy held me into her telling me it was okay.

"We can stop baby you don't have to carry on I see how much this is hurting you" She spoke softly placing a soft kiss on my lips.

"No… no I want you to know me" I say strongly before she places another kiss just below my ear.

"So my mami would always tell me it was going to be okay because she loved me and as long as we had each other everything would be okay. And I believed her, so I was starting to get used to it. Then one day a couple years later she takes me out for coffee and tells me she's getting married to someone called Brittany. She told me in high school they were in love but the distance was breaking them; she told me Britt was her soul mate. It broke my heart because I thought/hoped she would get back together with my dad but she didn't love him I guess. D'you believe in soul mates?" I asked curiously shuffling further into her.

"Honestly … yes; it doesn't have to be love at first sight or anything but I believe everyone has someone they're destined to spend the rest of their life with. One person that will change their life, occupy your thoughts and then you're life isn't just yours anymore it's about that one person who you'd be willing to risk everything for" She speaks with content.

"Wow… so um yeah she said she was her soul mate; next thing I know Brittany and her two kids Lara and Leo moved in. And they didn't really bother with me any of them to be honest. And then … then it was the night of the wedding and – and … wow this is harder than I thought" I spoke wiping a tear from my face.

"It's okay beautiful it's only me take your time" Lucy says taking my hand in hers comforting me.

"So my dad ; I – um he said that we could be a family again I just had to help him ruin the wedding by convincing my mami Britt cheated and I said no … and he said that I should be punished for not doing what he asks and … and that's when the beatings began." I feel a whole weight lifted off my shoulders and Lucy pulls me into her as my body starts shaking with sobs.

"I got you baby; I'm not gonna let you fall again I'm gonna catch you every time you hear me?" She asks kissing my hair.

"I was going to tell my mami; so many times I nearly did but after she got married she changed, I don't know if it's because I didn't want to be a cheerio I don't know. But she stopped taking me out, she stopped talking to me, she stopped hugging me or telling me she loved me. She just changed Luce and she just … she's horrible to me all the time. I just wanna know what I did to make her hate me so much."

"It's okay beautiful I'm here now" She speaks still cradling me.

"For so so long, I've tried to make her proud of me; but it's never going to work is it? I've tried to be everything for her. I've spent so long trying to be who people want me to be I've forgotten who I am; and It scares the fuck out of me Lucy… I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I just want to feel okay again" I cry as she holds me and whispers sweet things into my ear.

I wake up later on realising I must have fallen asleep when Luce comes in "baby dinners ready wanna come down and eat."

"I think I should go home … I um it's probably best I go" I say making my way down the stairs.

"At least stay for dinner … please" I can tell she doesn't want me to go … she's scared I see it in her eyes so I lean forward and I kiss her with everything I am.

"Okay" I sigh following her to the dinner table where everyone starts to eat in silence.

"Are – are you okay?" Rachel asks me and I swallow the tears that are already starting to form again.

"I'm sorry… I'm so so sorry about before" I say sincerely.

"Don't worry about it; like I said we like having you here" Quinn followed up.

"I can't do this I'm sorry I need to leave" I say going to get up.

"Don't" I hear Lucy finally say?

"I have to … don't you get it. IM A SCREW UP and look at you" I say pointing to them all "you're like the most amazing people/family I've ever met and I can't screw this up too I can't let you down, you don't you understand!"

"You're right, I don't understand but I'm trying to and I need you to trust me!" she pulls my head in her hands forcing me to look her in the eye. " I know it's not going to be easy … but I can't let you go because remember when we were talking before ; well I think you might be my soul mate and I can't give up on you … I won't give up on you!" she yells back peppering my face in kisses.

"I'm so scared Lucy ; I'm scared my dad will always beat me , I'm scared my mum will always hate me but most of all … I'm scared of how you make me feel and I'm scared you'll realise I'm not worth it" I say clinging to her not letting go.

"I'm not letting you go baby and I'm not giving up on us" She reassures me leading me to the sofa to sit down.

"Bella what is going on?" Rachel askes as her and Quinn enter.

Oh shit!

Okay guys so I'm sorry for not updating in ages but in one week my granddad almost died, my sister gave birth , my other sisters in hospital ill and my mum injured herself… safe to say I've been extremely busy holding down the fort! But pretty please R+R It means a lot to me and pm me with any questions or suggestions and hopefully it will be safe sailing from here … a special mention to Cory Monteith who will be forever in my heart RIP Cory thank you for being such an inspiration to so many people.