Granville felt a pounding headache as he regained his conscious. He found himself back at the boring Arkwright's shop in Doncaster with his pragmatic, miserable uncle stuttering at him.

"Wh-wh-wh-what's up with you, Granville?" Arkwright asked. "You lo-look like you've just la-la-landed back on E-E-Earth."

"Well, funny you should mention that," Granville said, "because I have been – "

"D-D-Daydreaming," Arkwright said. "Yes, I know how la-laidba-back you Hungarians get."

"Well, that just shows you what we Hungarians are capable of," Granville said. "You won't believe where I've been and what heroic things I've done." Then he explained what he did on Discworld to save the universe from the man-eating giants.

"You're right, Granville," Arkwright said. "I d-d-do – I do – "

"You do believe me." Granville knew Arkwright didn't; he just said that to wind his uncle up.

"Do not!" Arkwright snapped. "Now s-s-shut up and d-d-dust the bread!"

Granville grabbed his feather duster and started to dust the bread. He waited for his uncle to go to the back of the shop. Then he stole a bread roll and ate it to get back at him. He only hoped Arkwright wouldn't spot him, as he would take money out of it.

Frost found it hard to believe that he was back in London. He was back in his police station and at his desk.

"Excuse me, Inspector."

Frost spun his chair around to see PC Ernie Trigg next to him.

"Superintendent Mullett wishes to see you immediately," Trigg told him.

Frost made his way to Mullett's office.

"How are you, Frost?" his boss asked.

"Got a headache, sir, but I'm not complaining."

"If it's from that Slater, you don't have to worry about him. He's serving in HMP Slade in Cumberland."

"Why? What for?"

"For being a dickhead, trying to arrest citizens for no reason and not paying attention to the mission you and he was given to. Now, did you have any better luck finding out who it was caused those holes?"

Frost thought long and hard about whether to tell the truth or not. It would be the truth to him, but he had no evidence to prove it and he wondered if Mullett and the others would only find him crazy. So he finally decided to say, "No, sir. I looked into it as hard as I could but I couldn't find anything except soil, stones and broken pieces of pottery."

"Then I'm afraid we shall have deem this mystery unsolved," Mullett said. "All right, Frost. Back to your desk. Ton of paperwork to do."

"Yes, sir," Frost said, as he confusingly headed back to his desk.

The BFG was feeling very joyous when he finally returned to his home safe and sound. Though he wasn't sure whether he had lost the giants for good or if they might be back, he decided to use the time to enjoy the freedom of walking through Giant Country without the pressure of them bullying him.

Danger Mouse and Penfold found themselves back at their headquarters. Then the screen came on and they saw Colonel K's face.

"The mission was a success, Colonel," Danger Mouse reported. "We found the giants that caused those holes, what they were after and stopped them from taking control of the universe."

"Good show, DM," Colonel K said. "Now, get some rest. You all deserve it."

"Thank you, sir."

Then the screen went off.

"So, what shall we do to relax, sir?" Penfold asked.

"Well, why don't you get some cookies and milk, Penfold?" Danger Mouse suggested.

"Oh, what a good idea!" Penfold scurried off into the kitchen.

"And I'll just mediate."

But before he could even do that, the alarm went off and Colonel K appeared on the screen again. "DM, we need you urgently. Someone called Angelmouse needs your help to solve another tough mystery."

Danger Mouse wanted a rest but he knew being the world's greatest secret agent wasn't going to have a lot room for luxury. "We're on it immediately, sir." Then he turned to Penfold. "Come on, Penfold! We got another mission! And no moaning!"

Penfold just did as he was told silently and got on the settee heading down to the car.

Count Duckula found himself back in his castle with Igor and Nanny. He felt feel relieved after all of those giant adventures.

"Wow! It's good to be back," Duckula said. "Igor, let's get a fire going. Nanny, I'll have my hot cocoa and biscuits now."

"Right away, sir," Igor said.

"Okay, Duckyboos," Nanny said. Then she walked through the wall, missing the door as usual.

For once in his life, Duckula didn't mind her doing that because it meant everything was back to normal.

Del and Rodney were amazed to find themselves in the Nag's Head.

"Everything all right, you two?"

The Trotter brothers turned around to see their Uncle Albert sitting down at a table with their friends Trigger, Boyice, Denzil, Mickey Pearce and Mike Fisher.

"Yeah, everything's great," Del said.

"Where have you been?" Albert asked. "You've both been gone for three whole days."

"Yeah, you really had us worried," Denzil said.

"And now my phone bills has risen like molehills from trying to call you," Boyice complained.

"You wouldn't believe us if we told you," Rodney said.

"Try us," Mickey said.

Del and Rodney told them about how they were abducted by a magical wizard who took him to a flat planet on a flying turtle in space and they fought man-eating giants to save the universe.

"Wow!" their friends teased.

"Wow," Trigger said slowly and clueless.

"I believe your story, boys," Albert said. "It reminded me of the time when I was…"

"Want a drink, guys?" Mike asked. "On the house."

"Sure," everyone said, getting up and going to the bar. Only Trigger stayed behind to listen to Albert's war stories.

Back on Discworld, Rincewind was practicing his magic by trying to make a short person grow taller and thinner, but instead he shrunk her into the size of an ant and made her as fat as a hippopotamus.

"Oh, well, mistakes and lessons, I guess," he chuckled.

THE END

CAST LIST

David Jason Characters

Live Action

Del Boy Trotter (from Only Fools and Horse)

Inspector Jack Frost (from A Touch of Frost)

Granville (from Open All Hours)

Pa Larkin (from The Darling Buds of May)

Shorty Mepstead (from Lucky Feller)

Sullion (from Porterhouse Blue)

Rincewind (from Discworld)

Animation

Danger-Mouse (from Danger-Mouse)

Count Duckula (from Count Duckula)

The BFG (from The BFG)

Mr. Toad/Chief Weasel/Billy Rabbit (from The Wind in the Willows)

Hugo and Interpol (from Victor and Hugo)

Non David Jason Characters

Live Action

Only Fools and Horses

Nicholas Lyndhurst as Rodney Trotter

Buster Merryfield as Uncle Albert Trotter

Roger Lloyd-Pack as Trigger

John Challis as Boyice

Paul Barber as Denzil

Kenneth MacDonald as Mike Fisher

Jim Broadbent as DI Roy Slater

A Touch of Frost

Bruce Alexander as Superintendent Norman Mullett

Arthur White as PC Ernie Trigg

Open All Hours

Ronnie Barker as Arkwright

The Darling Buds of May

Pam Ferris as Ma Larkin

Philip Franks as Charlie Charlton

Catherine Zeta-Jones as Mariette Charlton

Primrose Larkin

Monty Larkin

Petunia Larkin

Zinnia Larkin

Victoria Larkin

Oscar Larkin

John Charlton

Lucky Feller

Peter Armitage as Randy Mepstead

Animation

Danger-Mouse

Penfold

Colonel K

Count Duckula

Igor

Nanny

The Wind in the Willows

Mole

Ratty

Badger

Henchman Weasel

The BFG

The Man-Eating Giants

Victor and Hugo

Victor

CREDITS

Written by Bobby South

Only Fools and Horses created and written by John Sullivan

A Touch of Frost created and written by R. D. Wingfield

Open All Hours created and written by Roy Clarke

The Darling Buds of May created and written by H. E. Bates

Lucky Feller created and written by Terence Frisby

Porterhouse Blue adapted by Malcolm Bradbury, based on the novel by Tom Shapre

Discworld created and written by Sir Terry Pratchett

Danger Mouse, Count Duckula and Victor and Hugo created by Brian Cosgrove and Mark Hall.

The Wind in the Willows adapted by Cosgrove Hall, based on the novel by Kenneth Grahame.

The BFG adapted by John Hambley and Cosgrove Hall, based on the novel by Roald Dahl.