Bella p.o.v
As soon as Lucy left things just got from awkward to more awkward by the minute.
Who knew the silence could be so powerful the only thing I can hear is the occasional sips of drinks … this is fucking crazy!
"I'm just gonna go … yeah" I mumble as I lift my cup and take it into the kitchen before heading off upstairs.
Thank god for that I think making it into my bedroom before exhaling a deep breath pulling out my guitar.
You, with your words like knives,
And swords and weapons that you use against me.
You, have knocked me off my feet again,
Got me feeling like a nothing.
You, with your voice like nails on a chalk board, calling me out when I'm wounded.
You, picking on the weaker man.
You can take me downnn,
With just one single blow~
But you don't know,
What you don't know!
Someday, I'll be, living in a big ol' city,
And all you're ever gonna be is mean.
Someday, I'll be, big enough so you can't hit me,
And all you're ever gonna be is mean.
Why you gotta be so mean?
You, with your switching sides,
And your wildfire lies, and your humiliation.
You, have pointed out my flaws again.
As if I don't already see them.
I walk with my head down,
Trying to block you out, cause I'll never impress you.
I just want to feel okay again.
I bet you got pushed around~
Somebody made you cold.
But the cycle ends right now.
Because you can't lead me down that road.
And you don't know,
What you don't know.
Someday I'll be living in a big ol' city,
And all you're ever gonna be is mean.
Someday I'll be,
Big enough so you can't hit me.
And all you're ever gonna be is mean.
Why you gotta be so mean?
And I can see you years from now, in abar,
Talking over afootball game.
With that same big loud opinion,
But nobody's listening.
Washed up and ranting about the same old bitter things.
Drunk and grumbling on about,
How I can't sing.
But all you are is mean.
All you are is mean,
And a liar,
And pathetic,
And alonein life.
And mean, and mean, and mean, and mean!
But someday I'll be living in a big ol' city,
And all you're ever gonna be is mean.
YEAH-EAH!
Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me,
And all you're ever gonna be is mean.
Why you gotta be so mean?
Someday I'll be living in a big ol' city,
(Why you gotta be so mean)
And all you're ever gonna be is mean.
(Why you gotta be so mean)
Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me,
(Why you gotta be so mean)
And all you're ever gonna be is mean.
I don't notice the presence in my room until I feel a soft hand on my shoulder.
"I think it's time me and you went for that coffee" Brittany says softly taking my hand.
As I follow her downstairs everyone avoids eye contact still; if I felt isolated before well now I feel completely removed.
"I'm taking Bella out for coffee" Brittany states sternly looking my mami right in the eye.
"Oh … okay" She replies her voice cracking
"Yeah so I don't know when we'll be back but whatever" Brittany finishes before pulling me out the door with her and to be honest I'm thankful I take a deep breath … it's like freedom.
As we get in the car we fall into a silence; but surprisingly it's not even uncomfortable … I feel comfortable enough around her.
We enter the small coffee shop … I've not been here in what feels like forever without my mami I didn't feel any need to come here so I stayed away; the smell of familiarity inhales my lungs and oddly it feels like home.
"Um ill have a vanilla latte … and for you Bella?" Britt asks softly giving me a small wink.
"Um ill have a cappuccino please" I reply offering a short smile before going to sit down with her across a short table in the corner.
I take a small sip of my coffee wincing as it burns the tip of my tongue.
"Silly ha-ha you're mum does that all the time as well"
I offer a small nod; not wanting to know how we're similar … not wanting to know there's a chance I could end up like her.
"I didn't know you sang…"
"Yeah well; you never asked" I answer a bit too shortly before offering a small apology.
"Don't apologise because you're right. Look I'm not stupid … I – I realise how they've all been treating you. And I'm sorry … I'm sorry because I should have intervened sooner but I didn't; but that stops now, this all stops now" she finishes sternly and I see a tear come down from her eye; feeling bad I lean across the table brushing it away.
"Look I accept your apology, but why now I mean; it's not like you've ever really bothered with me before?" I ask trying not to sound too harsh.
"Bella … I don't really have a valid excuse I guess for not being there for you; I knew It broke you're heart I could see it in your eyes. I had to live with breaking up a family and I knew how strong you and your dad's relationship was … how the hell was I even supposed to compete with that? I guess I realised that … that I may not be your dad well clearly I'm a woman but I still want to be a parent to you and I haven't been I just hope it's not too late." She finishes crying furiously as I reach over pulling her into a hug trying not to let the tears fall myself.
I take her hands in mine "listen to me Brittany … we may not have done anything together but trust me out of everyone you are the only one who's acted like any form of family. Right now proves to me that … that maybe you're the only real parent I have and I forgive you Brittany." I speak from the heart as she reaches her head to look into my eyes as they soften I notice she's processing everything.
"You're mami loves you" she states strongly more like she's trying to convince herself more than me.
"No she doesn't but that's okay … I don't need her; she's not been there for me when I needed her and I defiantly don't need her now not after everything I've been through" I scoff turning my head.
"What… what have you been through?" Brittany speaks cautiously like she's afraid of what my answer will be.
"That … that's something I don't even know if we should talk about" I reply hesitantly because part of me is afraid still.
"I-I want to … I just; I don't know if I can yet" I try to reassure her failing miserably.
"Look Bella I love you as if you were my own … and from now on I'm going to show you that; so when you feel ready to tell me I'll be here with open arms ready to listen" She says sincerely and I thank her as we start to walk out the coffee shop and get into the car.
"Oh and Bella"
"Yeah?"
"Tell your girl thank you and well done for kicking some ass" giving me a wink we get into the car;
And for the first time in a long time … I feel genuinely happy in my life.
Hey guys so I hope you liked this chapter … I think I might do mami Lopez next chapter so pm me with anything you want to happen and ill always do my best to incorporate it. Please review and thanks for reading it means a lot