My Fake Husband
A Pitch Perfect Story
Chapter 13
Disclaimer: I do not own anything familiar.
Author's Note: This chapter is all about Amy and Bumper finding out about the baby, and some serious introspection on Beca's part. The next chapter will have the announcement, finally. I intended to have it in this chapter, but the Beca/Jesse and Amy/Beca stuff kind of took over. Not sure when I will be able to get started on chapter 14, because I'm swamped with the end of the semester.
Four days later, Beca rushed around the kitchen in the evening, preparing dinner for herself, Jesse, Bumper, and Amy. After much deliberation, the two of them decided that they had to tell Bumper and Amy before they told everyone else at the party that was coming up in two Saturdays. Amy and Bumper knew the marriage was a farce, so they couldn't exactly tell them with everyone else. Beca was preparing a huge spaghetti dinner, complete with her homemade meatballs that Amy loved and fresh baked Italian bread. She really wished that she could drink, because she was nervous about how the conversation was going to go with Amy. The last time the two of them had a really serious talk was the day before the wedding, and Amy had basically ripped her a new one over having sex with Jesse and lying to her about it, as well as about the thing with Cole. When Beca had texted Amy about breaking things off with Cole, the blond had sent her five smiley faces and the words, 'thank fuck,' so to say that she was relieved would be an understatement. When the food finished cooking, Beca left the pasta, premixed with the sauce and meatballs, on the oven to simmer and the bread in the oven to keep warm. Jesse had been tasked with making a salad and broccoli, which was waiting to be steamed in the microwave right after their guests had arrived.
Beca felt hungry after all of this food preparation. She knew that the Allens would be arriving soon enough, but she was really famished. She opened the cabinet and grabbed the plastic jar of marshmallow fluff and a spoon from the dish drainer by the sink. She walked out of the kitchen, taking her first huge bite of the fluff, looking around for Jesse. She heard the sound of his keyboard coming from upstairs, so she figured that he was probably working on another composition. The movie that he had been lead composer on was in post-production, but there were a few small changes that needed to be made on some of the pieces. He spent most of his free-time working on his pieces, as well as composing other works to keep in his portfolio.
Beca began her ascent up the stairs, slowly. She was still sucking the first spoonful of the fluff from her spoon, resting all of her weight on her one arm as she climbed. She had to pause halfway up the steps, because she was starting to get winded. She had always prided herself on taking care of her body throughout her entire life, even if she didn't do a ton of working out; she kept herself thin, ate well, and would always take the stairs and walk places that were short distances away. But, the extra few pounds on her body from the pregnancy was enough to leave her unable to take a full breath, which might also be due to the fact that there was a baby suddenly crowding her lungs. While she waited for her body to get some much needed air, she finished off her first spoonful of fluff, as well as a second. She began climbing the stairs again, pausing once again at the top of the stairs, listening to the beautiful melody coming from down the hallway. She finished her third spoonful of fluff, taking a deep breath, before she made the final trek down the hallway.
Beca paused in the doorway of Jesse's room—correction, the soon to be nursery. She had to keep reminding herself that they were making the "guest room," also known as Jesse's room, into a nursery. She watched him as she leaned against the door frame, sucking on her fourth spoonful of marshmallow fluff. She left the spoon sticking out of her mouth to rub her belly with her now free hand, since the baby was kicking up a storm at the sound of his or her daddy's music. In the four days since Jesse had found out about the baby, she had already gained two pounds; he had been forcing too much food on her way too quickly. She hoped that when they went to see Brian next week for the twenty-week ultrasound, he would explain to Jesse that too much weight (especially not too quickly) wasn't good for the baby at all. Her cheeks were starting to fill out now, and it wouldn't be too much longer before she'd be incapable of hiding the fact that she was pregnant. They had sent out e-invitations to their closest friends (and her family, unfortunately) for two Saturdays from now, and she was afraid that she was going to be too big to be able to make the announcement the way that they wanted to if she kept gaining weight the way that she was. She pulled the spoon out of her mouth and stared at it; her brow furrowed, and her bottom lip began to jut out. She blinked, trying to keep her tears at bay; she really hated pregnancy hormones that made her like a leaking faucet all of the time now.
"What's with that face?" Jesse asked, making Beca jump. She didn't even notice that he stopped playing. She sniffled, trying to keep the quivering of her bottom lip to a minimum. She stabbed at the fluff angrily, eating it and hating herself for it. That was her biggest problem now; she would hate herself for wanting to eat, but that would only make her need the comfort that comes from eating. It made no sense, but she kept eating even if she felt bad about it.
"I'm getting fat," she moaned around the spoon; she began hating herself even more, because the tears began to flow freely down her cheeks now. She must be a real looker right now: tears pouring down her face and messing up her makeup, lips stained white from the marshmallow fluff, and a spoon sticking out of her mouth like she was a baby and it was her pacifier. She wanted to throw the spoon at him when he stood up, trying to keep the grin from his face, and make his way towards her. She shoved the spoon back into the jar of fluff, taking a moment to wipe at her cheeks with the back of her hands, which was probably doing nothing more than to ruin her makeup further.
"You're not getting fat, Beca." Jesse said quietly, taking the spoon and container away from Beca, despite her huffs about needing it, and setting it down on the top of the dresser he had near his doorway. He reached up to wipe at her cheeks and smooth some of her hair behind her ears. "You're pregnant, and you're gaining weight for the baby. I think you're beautiful and sexy, and you only look better as you get bigger." He pressed a light kiss to her lips and then rested his forehead against hers. She rolled her eyes, pushing him away from her.
"I don't care about whether or not you think I'm attractive." She said, crossing her arms and arching an eyebrow at him. "Even if you didn't think I was attractive, you would have to fuck me when I asked, because this whole situation is your fault anyways," she said as she waved her hand at her stomach. He laughed, shaking his head and pulling her into his arms again, pressing a kiss to her temple.
"What are you upset about, then?"
"I worried that I'm going to be hugely pregnant when we announce it to our friends at the party. It won't exactly be a surprise if I look like I have a basket ball under my shirt." She pouted into his shoulder, running her hands over her stomach between them. He pulled away from her to lay his hands on her stomach, as well. "You can totally tell I'm pregnant now. You have to stop force-feeding me, Jesse Swanson." She said, smacking him hard on the chest. He grabbed her hand when she raised it to smack him again.
"Seriously, Becs? I'm force-feeding you?" Jesse joked, waving a hand towards the marshmallow fluff container. Beca stuck her tongue out at him.
"Yes, you're the reason I've gained two pounds in four days! The more weight I gain, the more upset it makes me, and then that makes me eat more." She frowned, rubbing her stomach. "Fuck, now I have to pee. We will resume this discussion when I get back from the bathroom." She walked down the hallway to the hall bathroom, flipping him off over her shoulder when she heard him laughing behind her.
A few minutes later, Beca exited the bathroom and headed toward Jesse's room, but she saw that it was empty now and the container of fluff was gone. She pouted, making her way slowly down the stairs. She felt so heavy and uncomfortable, even though she had only gained about twelve pounds. She paused again about halfway down the steps, trying to get her breath again. "Jesse, where'd you go?" She called out to him as she continued her slow descent down the steps.
"Flatbutt! What are you caterwauling about?" She grimaced when she heard Amy call out as she stepped into the entryway, holding a glass of wine. "You sound like a dingo in heat. What's taking you so long?" Amy asked as Beca finally finished going down the steps. Beca smiled, hoping like hell she didn't look huge.
"I…um…pulled a muscle during sex. Jesse can be really rough." She joked, winking at Jesse, as he rounded the corner with Bumper. He laughed, rolling his eyes.
"What can I say? I like the idea of inventing our own position." He responded, handing her a glass of ginger ale. "Here you go, wifey." He took a sip of his beer, smiling at her. "Ready for dinner? Bumper and I put the food out on the table." She nodded her head, because she was still hungry since she only ate a few spoonfuls of fluff. Amy didn't say anything at first, just staring at them with a funny look on her face. The four of them made their way to the dining room table.
"What's with you two?" Amy asked, narrowing her eyes at them. "Why aren't you drinking?" She asked while she eyed Beca, who took a sip of her ginger ale and stared longingly at Jesse's beer bottle when he put it down on the table beside her.
"I'm not in the mood for wine or beer." Beca bit her lip sitting down at the table. Amy just stared at her. Jesse sat down at the table next to Beca, taking her hand in his under the table. She interlaced her fingers through his, squeezing his hand tightly. "Um, that's not true, actually. I would love to drink, but I can't."
"You can't?" Amy said slowly, eyes narrowed as she looked between Jesse and Beca. Beca knew that dragging this out further would only make things worse, and there was the saying about giving bad news like ripping of a band aid, so she took a deep breath before leveling her gaze onto her blond friend.
"I can't because I'm pregnant."
"Holy shit!" Bumper said, dropping his fork to his plate with a clatter. Amy's eyes widened; Jesse squeezed her hand beneath the table before releasing it to grab the spaghetti spoon to serve himself and Beca some food. She ran a hand through her hair, releasing a shuddering breath.
"You're what?" Amy said after a moment. She was practically breathless—speechless—and it was something that Beca wasn't used to. She licked her bottom lip, nodding her head at the blond.
"I'm pregnant. I found out six weeks ago."
"You've known for six weeks? Who's the father?" Beca threw her hands up in the air.
"Why does everyone keep making me feel like I'm such a slut?" She asked no one in particular, pressing a hand to her forehead. Jesse returned the spoon to the dish of pasta and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her against his chest.
"You're not a slut." He told her, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. She froze in his arms, because they didn't need to pretend that they were in love in front of Amy and Bumper. These were the two people that they didn't need to pretend with. He pulled back enough that they weren't crowding each other, but he still kept his arms wrapped around her.
"Is Cole the father?" Amy asked, ignoring the 'sweet' moment between Jesse and Beca.
"Does everyone conveniently forget that Jesse and I have had sex?" Beca asked.
"I didn't know you two had sex. So, Jesse's the father? Dude! How many times do we need to have the 'no glove, no love' talk?" Bumper asked Jesse, shaking his head. "Idiot; at least you got laid, though. It would suck to live in the same house as some chick and not be able to tap that, am I right?"
"Jesse's the father?" Amy's voice went an octave higher, out of shock. Beca glared at the blond.
"Yes! I never slept with Cole, even if he and I were hanging out around the time of the wedding. I told you that the night of my bachelorette party! This baby is all Jesse's." Beca said, pulling away from Jesse. "Unfortunately."
"Unfortunately?" He released her like she was on fire. "Really, Beca? Wow." He stood up, grabbing his beer, and marched out of the dining room. She heard him stomping up the steps.
"Jesse! Wait! That isn't what I meant!" She stood up as quickly as she could, but she was slow as shit. Fuck, she hated being pregnant sometimes. She looked at Amy and Bumper apologetically. "Um, I'll be back soon." She rushed out of the room as quickly as she could. "Jesse! Let me explain what I was saying. Fuck, I can't get up these steps that quickly anymore." She said the last part mainly to herself, putting most of her weight on the banister as she did her best to get up the stairs. She was winded by the time she made it to the top, due to not allowing herself the time to pause and catch her breath like she usually did, and she bent over to rest her hands on her knees, taking a couple of deep breaths.
"Are you okay?" Beca heard, and she flew up, seeing that Jesse was standing in the doorway of his room. He must have come out when he heard her huffing and puffing up the steps. She had righted herself too quickly, she noticed, and her hand flew to her head, the other to the wall as she took a step back, trying to fight the dizziness. "Becs," he rushed to her, pulling her against his chest and away from the stairs. "You could have fallen."
"I stood up too quickly. I'm a little dizzy." She told him, closing her eyes. She had read about the dizziness that might come during the second trimester, but she had been lucky enough not to experience it thus far. She complained when she felt him pick her up and carry her bridal style to his room, setting her down on the bed that hadn't seen much action in the last six nights. Shit, had it only been six nights since he found out about the baby? It felt like it was so much longer than that. He knelt on the floor in front of her, taking her hands in his.
"How are you feeling?" She opened her eyes to look at him.
"How do you do it?" He frowned at her, confused. "How do you go from hating me one moment, and then be so sweet and good with me the next?"
"I don't hate you." Jesse said quietly, looking at their hands rather than Beca's face. "I got upset, because you said that it was unfortunate that I'm the father of our baby. But, seeing you feeling sick or knowing that getting up the stairs has been difficult for you lately, I can turn it off for a few minutes to make sure you and the baby are okay. You and the baby are more important than me being upset with you."
"I didn't mean that it is unfortunate that you are the father of the baby over Cole or anyone else." She said as she let go of his hands to pull wrap her arms around his neck in a hug. He buried his face into her neck, and she ran her fingers through his hair. "I'm glad that you're the father. This baby will be so lucky to have you as its father." She closed her eyes, feeling the tears leak out of her eyes again. She had never cried so much in her life, and she hated it. She hated feeling vulnerable and weak all of the time; most of all, she hated being that way in front of Jesse. "I just meant that there is still a huge part of me that wishes I never got pregnant. It makes things so much more complicated between us. Don't get me wrong, though. I love this baby, and I'm so happy to have it, but I do have regrets."
"You mean being married to me?" He asked, pulling away from her a bit to wipe at her cheeks. She closed her eyes for a moment.
"Yes and no." Beca felt Jesse try to pull even further away from her, but she locked her hands over her elbows to keep them wrapped around his neck. "Don't pull away from me. Let me finish before you shut down, okay?"
"What's left to say, Beca? You never wanted to be married to me. You never wanted to have a baby. You never wanted any of this, and I'm the asshole that forced you into it." She glared at him, keeping her lips pressed firmly together until he got the message that she wasn't going to let him go until he shut up and let her speak. He sighed, closing his eyes and turning his head to rest his forehead against her arm.
"You done?" She asked after he was silent for a few moments. He nodded his head against her arm, still not looking at her. "Yes, there is a part of me that regrets marrying you. I regret that you had to marry someone you didn't love and that you aren't getting your happily ever after. I regret that I'm forcing you to become a divorced man by thirty, because you had to get married in order to stay in the country. I regret that you're disappointing yourself and the idea you have in your head about what marriage and family is like. I regret that there is a part of you that feels guilty and heartbroken over possibly disappointing your parents even though they are no longer alive." She took a deep breath, loosening her hold on his neck slightly. "But, I don't regret helping out a friend. I don't regret finding out that you are my best friend—ahead of Chloe, of Amy, of all of the girls. I don't regret learning that there are good people in the world—people who actually care about me in ways that I never felt from my parents. I don't regret finding out what an amazing person you really are, which is something I didn't see—or let myself see—over the last few years. Those are the things that I don't regret about marrying you."
Jesse raised his head, staring into Beca's eyes. She couldn't exactly read the expression on his face, and a huge part of her didn't want to. She was afraid of what that expression meant. She suddenly began feeling another regret—saying what she just said to him. She didn't want to get confused over what they were doing; she didn't want to think that what was happening between them was real, because it wasn't. It was just hormones; it was the connection they now had through the baby. She closed her eyes, trying to get away from that look on his face, but it was still there, behind her eyelids. "I regret that this baby has two parents who will love it, but that it will be bounced from home to home when we finally divorce. I regret that this baby isn't going to have two parents that will show it how to be happy or what genuine love between two people is supposed to look like." She said with her eyes still closed.
"Beca," he said, and she shook her head, not wanting to open her eyes and face him. "Beca, look at me." She shook her head again. She heard him sigh before she suddenly felt his lips on hers, his body pressed against the front of her. She moaned into the kiss, tightening her hold on his neck once again, pulling him more firmly against her as she fell back onto the bed. God, he was a phenomenal kisser. Shit. Why was he kissing her? This wasn't a time when she could have sex with him, and this kiss was definitely had more involved in it than the light pecks and other small, sweet kisses that they had been sharing over the last four days outside of the bedroom (or the shower—she had gotten really horny one morning and decided she needed to have him in the shower, so she finally got her shower sex. Then, there was on the kitchen table. On the couch. Against the front door. The list goes on; they had sex pretty much all over the condo). He broke the kiss, and she felt him staring down at her face, but she still refused to open her eyes. "Beca, look at me, please? Either that or I will have to kiss you again, and then have my way with you and make you scream my name in the sexiest ways that will probably scar both of our friends downstairs." She stuck her bottom lip out before opening one eye. She hated him for making her horny with that kiss and then putting images in her head of the most amazing things that he has done to her body, making her want him to do them again. He grinned down at her, balancing his weight on one arm and raising a hand to tuck a lock of her hair behind her ear.
"What?" She said, opening her other eye.
"I just wanted to say that I'm glad you and I got married. I know that it wasn't something that we planned or wanted at first, but I think it has been great, even if there have been a few arguments. They resulted in us in bed, so I'm quite happy with how they turned out." Beca rolled her eyes at Jesse. He chewed on his bottom lip, and she watched his eyes shift quickly all over her face, as if he was trying to memorize every bit of it. His brow furrowed, and he looked away momentarily before returning his gaze to her face, smiling at her once again. It didn't reach his eyes, though, and she hated that. She knew that he was holding something back even before he opened his mouth. (There was a huge part of her that was relieved, but deep down there was a part of her that was disappointed. Shit. No, she was not disappointed. No!) "You're right that part of me is sad that I'm going to get divorced. You're right that part of me feels like I'm letting down my parents. You're right that I wish that I was going into a marriage with the happily ever after, but this is our situation. I want you to know that I don't regret blurting your name out during my meeting with Danielson all those months ago." She furrowed her brow.
"What are you talking about?" He groaned, pulling away from her and lying on the bed beside her. He ran a hand over his face. "Jesse?" She asked, turning over and resting all of her weight on her forearm so that she could see his face.
"It was the day that you and I first agreed to get married—when I told you that I had to go back to Canada and you had gotten your stuff stolen. I had my meeting with Danielson, and he told me that I my visa was running out and that it couldn't be renewed. The first thing that came to my mind was the fact that Fat Amy and Bumper got married, and Amy got to stay in the country and is nearly a permanent citizen—she has a couple months left, right?" She nodded her head at the sudden topic change. "We should really throw a party for them when their temporary status is changed. I'm excited for them. You will probably be almost ready to give birth or already given birth by then, right?"
"Jesse." She said, raising an eyebrow at him.
"Right, okay, sorry." He stared straight ahead at the ceiling, avoiding looking at her. "So, the first thing that popped out of my mouth was that I was engaged. Danielson looked at me suspiciously, and he asked me who I was engaged to, and I don't know why, but I said your name."
"What?" Beca totally didn't know what to make of that. Jesse told Danielson before they agreed to fake everything that he was engaged to her. What if she had said no? Is that why he kept begging her, making her feel guilty about not wanting to do it? He backed her into a corner, and she felt almost obligated to say yes to him. She couldn't believe him. It was a spur of the moment thing about asking her to marry him because they were both in a bind—he had planned it out that way. Well, he didn't plan for all of her shit to get stolen, but he totally took advantage of it when he found out that it happened. What the hell was wrong with him?
"It was an accident. Danielson wanted to know who I was getting married to, so I said the first person that popped into my head…you. I didn't mean to say it. I just…fuck, you were in my head, because the wedding was two days before that, and we were doing what we usually did…flirt and insult each other, like always. And, I don't know…I knew that you didn't want to get married, and you were going to say no, but I was desperate. I just…this is my home, Beca. I have nothing left in Quebec. I have no family, no friends. I have no job, no home. I just…I needed a way to stay here, and you were in my head, and I said your name. I shouldn't have done it. It was a mistake, and I fucked up, and I'm sorry. You probably totally hate me now, but I just…the U.S., it's my home now. Fuck, please say you don't hate me. I just…you were perfect, though, Beca. You had no interest in marriage, so it wasn't like you were going to be devastated over the fact that you would have to spend two years tied to someone else when you were hoping to find someone new. Plus, us getting divorced would be easy, because it wasn't real. I just…please, Beca. Please say you don't hate me?"
Beca pulled herself off of the bed and began pacing the room. She didn't know what to say to Jesse. She did sort of hate him, because he lied to her. But, she couldn't hate him that much, because she could understand that he was desperate and scared of being forced into leaving the only home he has really known since he was eighteen years old. Plus, she was the perfect person to think of, because it wasn't real, and it never would have been real between them. No one would be surprised to learn that things didn't work for them. She was broken—her parents made a mess of her social abilities, so it wouldn't be shocking that they got divorced. She knew her parents were practically sitting by the phone, waiting for the call in which she told them that things didn't work out between her and Jesse. "Beca, please." She jumped when she felt him grab her by the forearm and pull her flush against his chest. She didn't even hear (or see) him climb off of the bed or come closer to her.
"I need a moment." She said, and he nodded his head, but instead of releasing her, he wrapped his arms more tightly around her, burying his face into her neck. "Jesse…please, let go of me."
"No," he whispered into her skin, and his breath tickled her neck, making her squirm. "Not until you say that I'm forgiven. Not until you say that we're okay." She sighed, closing her eyes, breathing in his smell. The baby was kicking up a storm in her stomach, almost as if he or she was begging her to just forgive its daddy. "The baby thinks you should say that you forgive me." She groaned, resting her forehead against his shoulder; finally, she raised her arms, wrapping them around his waist, hugging him tightly. She ignored the pressure that the hug put on her chest—it hurt, but she couldn't focus on that. She wanted to focus on making things right with him. He was her best friend; she came upstairs to make him forgive her, but somehow he was the one apologizing to her. It just didn't make sense. The arguing, the fighting, the confusion—it was too exhausting. Why couldn't they just be friends and be fine? Things had been going pretty well over the last few days—ever since they had gotten past the argument they had when he first found out about the baby.
Beca's eyes flew open when she remembered the conversation they had in her bed right before the meeting with Danielson. She was sick—now, she knew that it was really morning sickness—and Jesse had been lying with her, holding her in his arms, offering the different ways that he could care for her. Somehow they had brought up sex, which wasn't entirely uncommon for them now that she thought about it. He had said that they weren't going to ruin their friendship, because she was a commitment phobe, and they both knew that feelings get involved when people tried to include sex into friendship; he talked about how it would be too complicated between them if they were to have sex. She swallowed, because she also remembered him talking about how he only wanted to have sex with the woman he was married to as a sign of loving her, that sex was more meaningful when it was with someone you were in love with.
She didn't know what to do with this memory. Things are a hell of a lot more complicated with the baby on the way, but that was an even bigger reason for why they should stop having sex, right? They needed to stop complicating their relationship if they were going to last until his status changed. Plus, they didn't want to make it worse for the baby. They had to be smart about this for the baby. She tried to pull away from him. "Jesse, let me go?"
"Do you forgive me?" She rolled her eyes, nodding her head.
"Yes, I forgive you, nerd." Beca said quietly. Jesse let her go, grinning down at her. His face fell when he took in her expression.
"What's wrong now?" She shook her head, plastering a fake smile on her face.
"I'm fine." He narrowed his eyes.
"No, you're not. What's wrong?"
"We have to go back downstairs to our guests. They are waiting for us." He shoved his hand into his pocket, pulling out his phone. His thumb flew across it, and then he returned it to his pocket.
"Texted Bumper. Told him that they could start eating and that we need a few more minutes. I said we were still arguing."
"That's only going to make Amy come running."
"Bumper's keeping her busy."
"Jesse, we need to go back downstairs."
"Nope. Not until you tell me what is going through that head of yours. You say you forgive me, but there is something else off about you. Are you just saying that you forgive me so that I would let you go? I will do whatever it takes to make you forgive me, Beca. I swear. What do I need to do?" He grabbed her by the hips, pulling her against him. "Please?"
"Jesse, I forgive you." She told him, smiling at him sadly. "I was just thinking about how I came up here to say I was sorry to you, and then somehow this turned into an argument about something you did wrong. Aren't you tired of all of it?" He frowned.
"Tired of what, Beca?"
"Tired of all the arguing and the fighting and the confusion? Aren't you tired of just pretending like we're this perfect, happy couple on the outside, to everyone else, but on the inside, we're a huge mess. One minute were doing and saying things that hurt the other, but the next we are doing things for the other, trying to repair the damage that we cause—either intentionally or unintentionally. Aren't you sick of always feeling like the bad guy? I know I do."
"You're not the bad guy, Beca. I don't see you as that. Marriage is hard and complicated for any legitimate couple, let alone a couple that went into it without the emotional connection that most couples have. Sure, we were friends, but there is a difference between friendship and love." She looked away, because she didn't know what that difference was. How can you be sure that there is romantic love versus platonic love between two people? She didn't understand it. It left her feeling completely confused and overwhelmed, and she was exhausted by all of it. "Do you see me as a bad guy?"
"No, not at all. You're a saint most of the time, even when you piss me the fuck off." He laughed, wrapping his arms around her hips. He leaned forward, crowding her personal space. "What are you doing?" She whispered; her eyes went cross-eyed as she watched his face come closer to hers until his lips were hovering over hers.
"We have a couple of minutes…I think we have enough time for a little making up." He whispered, and then he kissed her. Her arms immediately went to his shoulders, and it was her body's natural reaction to go up on her toes to press her face even closer to his. In the back of her mind, she knew that she shouldn't be kissing him, but she couldn't stop herself.
Jesse backed them up to the bed, sitting down and pulling Beca into his lap. They were in the middle of a heated make out session when they heard someone clear their throat from the doorway. She immediately pulled away from him, climbing off of his lap, wiping at her mouth with the back of her hand. She blushed, running a hand through her hair. "Amy…hey."
"All I get is an 'Amy…hey?'" The blond woman said, crossing her arms and narrowing her eyes at them. Jesse started to chuckle, but Beca immediately glared at him, so he played it off like a cough.
"Right, so I think I'm gonna go heat up some pasta…" He said standing up quickly. He took a step towards Beca, but he hesitated when he saw her eyes widen at him in discomfort and Amy's narrowed gaze turn into a glare. "I'm gonna go right this second. If I could teleport, it would be awesome." He muttered. He looked at Amy, chewing on his bottom lip. "Am I allowed to say goodbye, or will you cut off my dick?"
"Go ahead. I'd love to see how you say 'goodbye' to her." Amy said, continuing to glare at him. He ran a hand through his hair, grimacing slightly at Beca.
"I'll be downstairs if you need me, okay?" He said to her, tucking a lock of her hair behind her ear. "Anything, Beca." She nodded her head, and he pressed a kiss to her forehead. He squatted in front of her stomach, laying his hand over the swell of it beneath her maxi dress. "Hey, little one; you'll take care of mommy, right? If the mean blond lady gets too close, you'll start kicking at her, right?" He joked, making Amy scoff from across the room. "Daddy loves you, little one." He pressed a kiss to her stomach, smiling at the way that the baby started kicking like crazy. "That's the spirit." He laughed, standing up. Beca rolled her eyes, pressing a hand to her stomach.
"This kid is going to kick a hole through my uterus one of these days, and I'm going to blame you. The baby only acts like this with you." She said, pushing him towards the door. He grinned at her.
"That's because he or she knows I'm the Daddy!" He walked up to Amy, holding his hands up. "If I had a tissue, I would wave it, but they are all the way on the other side of the bed, and I figured you would blow a gasket if I tried to get one first. So, Amy, imagine I'm waving a figurative white flag." She rolled her eyes, stepping into the room and off to the side, holding hand toward the door. "I'm going!" He walked out the door, giving one last look at Beca. "You need anything, tell me. Immediately."
"Jesse, can you make me a sandwich?" She said, stopping him before he could leave completely. He nodded his head.
"Sure. What'll it be?" He said, miming pulling a pen from behind his ear and writing on his hand as if it were a pad of paper. She rolled her eyes at him.
"Can you make me a double-decker sandwich? Three slices of bread, with peanut butter, Nutella, fluff, and grape jelly? Oh, and a big glass of orange juice. Mixed with a splash of lemonade. Oh, and maybe another glass of ginger ale? I didn't get to drink the other one." She paused. "I think I'm good." He raised his eyebrows.
"You sure? Because the last time you sent me down to get you something to eat in the middle of the night, I came back to find that you changed your mind and wanted me to make you steak."
"Oh! Do we have any of that left over? Can you bring some of that on the side of the sandwich?" He shook his head.
"This baby is doing funky things to you, Beca." He said as he disappeared down the stairs.
Beca turned her attention back to Amy. She rubbed her stomach as she stared at the blond awkwardly. Amy just stared at her, arms crossed, waiting. Beca couldn't read the expression on her friend's face, so she bit her lip. "Um, do you think I could go pee? I really have to pee." Amy nodded her head.
"I'll wait here." She said as she sat down on the piano bench. Beca studied her.
"You can sit on the bed."
"I'm afraid of what I'll be sitting on."
"We've never done anything in here." Amy just raised her eyebrows at Beca.
"But, you have been doing things. Together. Not counting the incident that left the bun in the oven." They were all statements, and Beca could tell that Amy didn't want to hear a response to them. At least, not the one that Beca was going to give her.
"I'm just gonna go pee. I'll be right back." She slipped from the room and rushed to the hall bathroom, finishing her business and taking a moment to compose herself before she returned to the room. She hesitated in the doorway for a moment before she walked over to the bed and sat down, resting her back against the pillows piled up at the headboard, stretching her legs out before her. She began to chew on her thumb nail, studying her friend from across the room. "So, Jesse and I have been having sex. One of the side effects of being pregnant is a heightened sex drive, and Jesse's been helping me…with, uh, that."
"So, let me get this straight. You're horny, so you're fucking Jesse. I walked in on you two about to fuck, because you were horny?" Beca shrugged her shoulders, because that wasn't really what they were doing. It was something different, but she didn't know how to word it. They didn't need to have sex in that moment, but they were about to. Or, they were going to do something, at least. Their argument wasn't even really that much of an argument—nothing that would have gotten them so riled up that her hormones would be out of control that was usually the norm for them; no, it was really about them just wanting to kiss and be with each other.
"You never said congratulations, Amy." She said after a few moments, blinking back the tears that filled her eyes. Stupid hormones. She turned her head away, pressing a hand over her eyes.
"I'm sorry. You're right. Congratulations that you got knocked up, Beca, after a one night stand with your fake husband. Oh, wait, you were only engaged at that point. You really can't hold your liquor well at all." Beca glared at Amy, hating the angry tears slipping down her face. "What the hell is wrong with you? You guys didn't use a condom?"
"We were drunk, and we didn't take a moment to talk about birth control. It wasn't the plan, but we're gonna work it out. We both are really excited about this baby; we love this baby."
"What does this mean in terms of the marriage? Your plan was to break up in two years."
"That's still the plan, Amy." The blond shook her head.
"You're really gonna put the baby through that? You've been down that road, Beca. You know what it is like to be abandoned by your parents. You know what its' like to see your parents fight like crazy and then to dump the kid like yesterday's trash all in the effort to hurt the other person. You're really selfish, Beca."
"What do you expect us to do, Amy? You think we should stay married just because of the baby? That isn't fair to the baby at all—to see his or her parents constantly unhappy? It is worse for the baby to see his or her parents in a loveless marriage—one that was built on a lie so that the father could stay in the country. I would rather this baby see us divorce and give it the best life it can have—with two parents who love it and would do anything for it, who will be great at co-parents, working together to support this child. I'm not going to force a miserable life on this baby, making him or her feel like a burden or carry the weight of his or her parents' relationship."
Beca sat up, rubbing her stomach. The baby was kicking like crazy, and she was feeling really uncomfortable all of a sudden. This wasn't a big surprise; as she got further along, she noticed that she felt a little off every now and again. She couldn't stay seated or lying down for long before she felt weird and had to change positions. She figured that that is what was happening to her then. Her stomach felt weird beneath her hands, tighter, but not exactly painful. She decided that she was going keep an eye on it for now, because she wasn't in pain, she didn't feel like her water was breaking or anything like that, so she thought she was okay. "We're gonna be great co-parents, Amy. Jesse's my best friend, and once this marriage is over, we're still going to be best friends. This baby is going to be fine with having two parents who aren't married or together."
"No, not really. The kid is going to be bounced from household to household—to see its mom and dad dating a bunch of people. He or she is going to see dad marry someone new—someone who seems to be better than she is, and don't get me started on how it's self-esteem is going to plummet if this new wife had a kid around the baby's age; this kid is going to be constantly comparing itself to this new stepsibling or even have people do it for him or her. Does any of this sound familiar?"
Beca's jaw ticked. "Jesse's not my dad, and I'm not my mom. This baby will know love and stability. The difference between my parents and Jesse and I is that we don't hate each other; we won't hate each other in two years when all of this is done."
"This baby isn't going to feel stable! How many times have you said that to me? How many times did you say how much you hated your childhood, because of your parents' divorce and their new lives?"
"But, this is different!"
"It's not that different, Beca! You two are sleeping together for fuck's sake." She glared at Amy. "You keep denying that there is anything going on between the two of you, but you're not acting like it. You have to know that there will be feelings, a shit ton of feelings, when you give birth? Add that on top of the supposed friendship you keep going on and on about, as well as all of the sex you two have been having? It's gonna be complicated as shit. Divorces are hard enough on the two people getting divorced, but now you have a child to think about. There's even more feelings involved in raising a child together. You guys are going to have to pretend to be in love in front of this baby for the first few years of its life. Then, you're going to turn around and say to it, 'oops! We didn't actually mean it! Sorry, kid!' This kid is gonna be fucked up."
Beca wiped at her cheeks, because she was crying again. Amy was right, but she didn't know what she was supposed to do. She couldn't take back the sex that they had that resulted in the pregnancy. She didn't know what Amy expected of her. Was she supposed to just pretend for the rest of her life that there was something between her and Jesse? She couldn't do that. It was already confusing enough for her, because she was pregnant, and they were dealing with that. She didn't know if those weird thoughts or moments when she thought that there is something there—between them—were because of the baby or if she was starting to have feelings for him. "What do you want me to say, Amy? I can't go back and time and change everything. I'm pregnant. Jesse is the father."
"What about Jesse? It is already bullshit to see him as the type who gets married and then divorces after barely two years of marriage, but do you really think he is the type who becomes a deadbeat dad—who bails on the wife and the kid?"
"He's not bailing on the baby."
"I wouldn't dream of it." She jumped when she heard Jesse's voice from the doorway. He had a tray in his hand, with two plates (her sandwich and steak) and two glasses with her drink requests. She smiled at him, because she must be hungry. He walked over to her, sitting on the edge of the bed beside her. "How you doing?" She shrugged her shoulders, grabbing a half of her sandwich greedily. She took a bite. Her stomach still felt strange, but she still wasn't in pain, so she figured that she was okay.
"I'm just getting tired." She told him after a moment. He tucked some hair behind her ear, looking into her eyes. He leaned forward, pressing a kiss to her forehead.
"Alright, Amy. I think it's time for you to go. I don't want Beca anymore upset than she is." Amy stared at him, her eyebrows raised.
"Excuse me?"
"You heard me. Beca needs to eat and relax a bit. Then, she needs to get some sleep."
"We're in the middle of talking."
"No, we're in the middle of you berating me for having unprotected sex and getting pregnant." Beca snapped around her bite of sandwich. She took a sip of her ginger ale to wash it down.
"Beca, all I want you to do is to give it some serious thought. What do you want to do?" She stared at Amy in confusion. She didn't know what the blond meant by that. What did she want to do? What was Amy talking about? "You know what I mean, Beca. Take a minute to yourself and really listen to your head and your heart." Beca swallowed, not daring to look at her friend as she walked towards the doorway. "I love you, Beca. I know you think I'm being a total bitch right now, but I care about you. I want you to be happy, and I pounced like a mother dingo protecting her young. You need to take a breather tonight and really think." Amy disappeared from the room.
"What the hell happened? Are you okay? Is the baby okay?" Beca smiled at Jesse, laying a hand on his cheek. He was really being so good, so sweet.
"The baby's fine. She was just concerned about me; that's all. She wanted to make sure that we really thought about the consequences that come from getting a divorce. I explained to her that you're nothing like my dad, and I'm nothing like my mom." He chewed on his bottom lip, staring at his left hand that was resting on her shin, his eyes locked onto the wedding band.
"Is she suggesting that you and I stay married?" He said after a few moments, and she shrugged.
"I don't know. She brought up a lot of stuff having to do with my parents, and she made a lot of good points, but I also made a lot of good points about the stupidity of staying together for the wrong reasons, aka staying together for a child. I'm not going to force that life onto my baby, because I think those consequences outweigh any consequence that comes from a child having divorced parents. Besides, we're different. We're not going to have a relationship like my parents, where being divorced is just as bad as being together." She finished off the half of her sandwich before moving on to a few of the steak pieces. "I'm also not a hugely selfish bitch who would force you to stay in a relationship that you don't want to be in. You deserve your happily ever after, and I'm not going to stand in your way of finding the woman you're supposed to spend your life with." He smiled at her, leaning over to press a kiss to her forehead.
"Um, I'm gonna go clean up downstairs. You finish up, and then why don't you go take a bath. It will help you calm down before bed, okay?" She nodded her head, yawning slightly. She ate in silence, not wanting to think about what Amy had been saying before she left. Ten minutes later, he returned, grabbing the tray from her. He set it on top of his dresser by the door and helped her off the bed.
Beca yawned again, and Jesse escorted her down the hallway to her room. He left her to get changed into her pajamas to take the tray downstairs. After she got ready for bed, she climbed into her bed, hugging the pillow against her chest. A few moments later, she felt the bed shift, and his arm wrap around her middle, pressing a kiss to the back of her head. "Goodnight, Beca. Goodnight, baby." He whispered into her ear, and he rubbed her stomach with his hand. She felt his smile against her neck after he buried his face against her, his body pressed against the back of hers.
"Goodnight, Jesse." She whispered back, closing her eyes, hoping that sleep would come.
Author's Note: Don't hate, Amy! She is concerned about Beca, and they aren't exactly acting like friends and like their marriage is fake, despite their claims (especially Beca's) that is all that is happening. So, Amy needed to say all of that. Review, please.