Santana p.o.v
As I see Britt walk in through the door I know immediately I'm in the dog house … fucking great! I see Bella quietly wonder upstairs and I don't say anything, I don't say hi I just look blankly at the floor as Brittany offer's her a soft smile before coming to me with a stern look.
"you upstairs now" she says harshly before stomping upstairs into our room ; slowly I drag myself to our room not daring to look her in the eye … afraid of what I'll find.
"Britt" I eventually my voice cracks out after what feels like an eternity of silence
"No don't you feel sorry for yourself not now" she spits angrily as I flinch from her voice.
"I'm sorry" I whisper a faint sound,
"Sorry!" she yells … "why are you sorry Santana and more importantly why are you apologising to me hmm?"
"I didn't mean … I didn't realise" I can't get my words out; I have so many thoughts going round in my head right now how could I?
"Didn't realise, didn't realise what Santana that you were treating your daughter; your own flesh and blood like she's worthless… is that really what you think of her" she bangs on the wall in frustration and I've never seen her so angry, I've never seen her shake with anger not like now and its scaring the fucking hell out of me.
"No … of course I don't think she's worthless" I hang my head shamefully
Brittany just sighs not even bothering to look at me … minute after minute its quiet and I'm afraid to speak.
"You know what Santana?" she lifts my head up so I'm looking directly in her eyes ; she leans in and kisses me passionately as I grip the back of her head drawing her into me needing her wanting her but a sigh escapes my lips as she pulls away.
"Every time I kiss your lips, feel you're body against mine, feel you're touch … I know I love you. But I don't like you San, I don't like you one bit" I don't notice the tears running down my face until she starts to wipe them away with the pads of her thumbs.
I close my eyes trying to will everything away; but I know it's hopeless … I'm helpless I can't live without Britt I love her too much; but look at what I've done … I'm a monster.
"Are you gonna leave me" I ask shakily trying to control my emotions but I guess that's the trouble I've always had.
"I don't know Santana … I guess it was stupid of me to think we could have a perfect little family; maybe I was expecting too much"
"Don't call yourself stupid Brittany and we can have that I will change I swear I can't lose you baby please" I beg the tears now streaming as I hold onto her for dear life; she can't leave me not now I have her back.
"I hope you can change Santana otherwise I'm going to leave you; because this woman is not the one I fell in love with but I'd give anything to get her back… and Santana if I leave I'm not coming back and I'll be taking Bella with me; I admit I could have tried harder with her but I'm making up for it now or at least trying too , just because you might not want to be a parent to her doesn't mean I don't … and if I leave with her you'll be truly alone and only have yourself to blame" she finishes not even giving me a chance to speak before she's left me in our room.
I notice a box under the bed that I pull out; photo albums … pictures of Bella when she was a baby … god what have I done to her; I'm so selfish … so so selfish.
I can't believe how horrible I've been
I'm a monster
"I'm sorry" I whisper clutching the pictures " I'm so fucking sorry" I get out in-between sobs as I slide down the wall crying for what must have been hours.
"No god damn it" I tell myself "stop feeling sorry for yourself and sort this shit out"
I sigh as a text pops up from my phone from Bella's dad I'll be there around 9 a text reads on my screen; well there's no time like the present … I guess this gives me an excuse to have a talk with her I figure as I make my way to her room.
You can do this
It's just Bella
She's your daughter
Yeah the daughter you've treated like crap.
Shut up brain! I think telling myself to stop being such a pussy and get my ass in there. Taking a deep breath I psych myself up … this is it I think knocking on the door.
"Bella your dad will be here at-" I start but … holy fuck what the hell has happened; I take a few minutes to process.
"Bella what … what's going on?" I ask shakily as I noticed the shocked expression on her face.
Her body is black and blue, bruised and cut.
Who the fuck did this?
Hey guys so I'm having a real tough time at the moment… let's just say I'm not in a great place; but I'm trying to get as many chapters out as possible not sure how long they'll be though anyway please R+R and thanks again for reading.