My Fake Husband
A Pitch Perfect Story
Chapter 14
Disclaimer: I do not own anything familiar.
Author's Note: This chapter is dedicated to my two beautiful babies that passed away early Monday morning and early yesterday morning:
My cat, Ginger, was about 22 years old, and I spent most of Sunday night with her while she was getting ready to pass away. I went to sleep at about 1:30 in the morning, and I got up at around 7:30, and she had passed sometime between then.
My darling pet rat, CJ, started acting strange on Monday, and when I took him to the vet on Tuesday, the vets couldn't figure out what was wrong with him. He passed away early yesterday morning after I spent the night on the couch with him on a heating pad beside me on the ottoman. He was such a sweet angel, and I am devastated by his loss.
I am terribly heartbroken, and it was really hard for me to work on the end of this chapter, which is why I stopped it where it is. Unfortunately, it was right before I was going to write about the party, so that is pushed to the beginning of the next chapter. This chapter was getting kind of long anyways, so I think that probably worked out for the best.
Beca had been really quiet for most of the next morning before she and Jesse parted ways for work; she only answered yes when he asked her if she was doing okay that morning, if the baby was doing okay, and if she had a good night, throwing in the words "an omelet" when he asked what she wanted to eat that morning for breakfast. He didn't know why she was being so weird, but he figured that it had something to do with what Amy had said to her the night before. But, if he was going to be honest with himself, he thought that there was a lot more to it than that.
Beca had been acting weird before Jesse had even left her alone with the Australian blond woman. After he confessed about blurting her name out in the first meeting with Danielson before he even talked to her about getting married, she had shut down. He had begged her to forgive him, because he knows how much of a douche bag he was for forcing her to get married, making her feel guilty for saying no at first. She said that she did forgive him, but there was still something off about her. He didn't know what it was had her upset, but he could totally tell that she was lying when she started talking about being tired of fighting. Well, she wasn't exactly lying, but she was holding something back when they were talking. He had no idea what she was holding back, but he didn't like it.
Jesse needed to feel close to her, needed to connect with her, so he the only thing that he knew would make him feel close to her, to connect with her: to kiss her, to try to have sex with her. It was so totally stupid for him to do that, because it put pressure on her; they used her pregnancy hormones as an excuse to be together. He knew that she used them as an excuse, instead of just admitting that she liked having sex with him, that she wanted to have sex with him. She wasn't horny from hormones in the moment when he kissed her. He had kissed her several times throughout their argument (no, argument isn't the correct word…conversation?) they had been having. None of them were about sex or hormones at the times.
The whole thing—the whole night—was strange to Jesse, but it left him feeling hopeful, because Beca had come running after him when she saw that he was upset. She had hugged him and wouldn't let him go. She had told him that she wanted to be happy. She had done so many things throughout that conversation that gave him hope that there was something more there, but then she brought up the divorce again. She always brought up the divorce, and it about killed him every time. He hated thinking about it. He didn't want to think about it. He didn't want this to end. Then, Amy had to say all that shit to her, make things a hell of a lot more complicated for them, because now she was second-guessing herself about their relationship way more than she usually did.
When Beca had said that Amy had given her a lot of points about why they shouldn't get divorced, the only thing that Jesse felt was heartbreak and anger. What the fuck was wrong with Amy for even suggesting that Beca stay with him for the baby? She would never stay with him just for the baby, because she was under the firm impression that the baby was better off seeing them divorced and happy rather than together and miserable (her words, not his). Besides, she had told him about the fact that she would never deny him the chance for a happily ever after: a wife whom he loved and a family. She had told him that she didn't want him to always feel like he was letting down his parents, even though they were no longer alive. Apparently, he deserved to have everything that he wanted most in the world, and she wasn't going to deny him that by forcing him to stay married to her. What she didn't know was that what he wanted most in the world was her; he wanted to fall in love with Rebeca Charlotte Mitchell—excuse him, she was Rebeca Charlotte Swanson now. He wanted to fall in love with his wife and to have his happily ever after with her. He was so angry that Amy suggested that she stay with him because of the baby. He didn't want that. He didn't want her to stay with him, wishing that she wasn't, just so their child would have married parents. He wanted her to want to be with him, to want to see if their marriage could be real. He wanted her to fall in love with him, just like he wanted to fall in love with her.
Jesse sighed, dropping the stack of sheet music onto his desk. He hated that even though he had written that movie score—albeit for a small move, but it was still his chance to show what he can do—he was still an assistant, so he still had to "assist" the other composers at BioTerra. Right now, he was currently perusing the composition that Frank had written, making a couple of small changes here and there. Frank was a great composer, but he was kind of a douche, and he never really listened to what the movie was supposed to be about. Jesse couldn't wait until Phil, who was the head of the department, gave him another chance to score a movie. He just knew that he would do a better job at writing one that fit the movie better than Frank could. It would be exactly what Phil needed to see that Jesse was worth more to him and to BioTerra as a full composer, not just an assistant.
Jesse ran a hand through his hair, staring unseeingly at the sheet music lying in front of him on his desk. He didn't want to be doing this right now; he wanted to be writing his own music. He wanted to compose something to get everything off of his chest. He was feeling so torn up about Beca and Amy and the baby and the marriage and lying to the United States government and the impending divorce and lying to their friends (their family) and the upcoming doctor's appointment where they would find out the sex of the baby and the upcoming dinner with Beca's parents (all three of them—well, sort of four because Beca's mom's latest boyfriend was going to be there) and then the party with all of their friends where they would announce the pregnancy. God, the list kept going. There was so much for him to be feeling so many different emotions about, he felt like he was going to explode from it all. His head was cottony, and his palms were sweating, and, shit, was the room spinning? Fuck, he was going to have a full-blown panic attack in his tiny cubicle in the music composition department at BioTerra. He closed his eyes, attempting to take a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. His cell phone buzzed on the desk next to the sheet music, making him jump and his heart to fly into his throat. He grabbed it, seeing that it was a text from Beca. Immediately, his heart started pounding harder, and a cold sweat broke out on his forehead, because something had to be wrong with her or the baby if she was texting him. He opened the text immediately, his eyes scrolling over the words so quickly that he had to go back and reread them again in order to make sure that he read it right the first time.
I just looked over WRs maternity leave policy. 6 weeks paid and up to 2 more, unpaid.
Jesse sighed in relief, because there was nothing wrong. He took a few more deep breaths before grabbing his reusable water bottle from where it was sitting on his desk beside his office phone. He closed his eyes, rolling his upper body, trying to ease the tension from his neck and shoulders. A few more moments of this, and he would surely be calm again. When his mind was clear, and he no longer had that sour taste in his mouth and the spasms in his gut, he was able to finally think of a response to Beca's text. She was telling him about the Wharton Records maternity leave policies; six weeks of paid leave was higher than he expected, especially for a country that didn't legally require companies to offer any form of paid leave, and an additional two weeks that were unpaid. Did that mean if she were take off more than eight weeks for maternity leave, then her job would be at risk? He would have to ask her about that; perhaps she could go on a sabbatical? That would ensure that her job was protected, right? Well, maybe she wouldn't want to stay home longer, but to use those eight weeks off and then to go back to work part-time after that. He knew that she wouldn't be able to stay away from music or her job (that she loved) for long, even if she loved her baby more. Music was ingrained in Beca, and she needed the expression and the challenge that came with producing to get everything out, in the same way that he needed to write music for movies. His thoughts were interrupted from another text from Beca. He almost dropped his cell when it began to vibrate in his hand.
I'm thinking about taking all 8 weeks. Can we afford to go 2 weeks without me getting paid?
Jesse smiled to himself, because Beca wanted to know his opinion about what she should do. She was coming to him like a wife would go to her husband, her partner, her confidant, her safety net. It made him feel good; he wanted her to always go to him for help on big things like this. Hell, on the little things, too. He wanted to be able to go to her, as well. He quickly formulated a response, his thumb flying over the keyboard to text her back.
Take all 8 weeks. We'll work it out and be fine. Did you still want to go back to work part-time after that?
Jesse wondered if BioTerra offered any kind of paternity leave. He knew that Beca wanted to be home with the baby as much as possible, and he wanted to be there to help her, as well. Not to mention, he was beyond excited about being a dad, so he wanted to be there from the beginning, as much as he could. This baby was a blessing—something that brought him and Beca even closer. Even if they weren't together in the long run, this baby allowed them the chance to be way closer than they ever could have imagined being. There was going to be a person in this world that made up of half of him and half of her, and it kind of amazed him. He never saw that happening in a million years. His thumb flew over the keyboard once more.
I wonder if BioTerra offers any kind of paternity leave. I wanna be home with you and the baby as much as I can in the beginning.
Jesse opened the bottom drawer of his desk to pull out his employee manual. He opened it to the correct page, hoping like hell that paternity leave was offered by BioTerra. He only had about a week of paid sick time (since he hadn't been working there for very long), and he had already used up his three weeks of paid vacation for the wedding and honeymoon. A smile slipped onto his face when he saw that BioTerra was progressive enough to offer three weeks of paid paternity leave, with up to an additional two weeks, unpaid. Five weeks was better than nothing, but he didn't know if they could afford two weeks of unpaid time off for both of them. He definitely planned on taking the three paid weeks though; they would have to sit down together and look over their finances to see if they could afford it to be without two weeks pay for both of them. Maybe he could work from home? Every two or three days, he could stop by BioTerra and drop off his work and pick up new work from Frank, Phil, and the other composers in the department. That way he could be home with Beca and the baby as much as possible for as long as possible. He turned to grab his phone again, excited to tell her the news and to ask her if she would maybe want him to work from home before he even thought about bringing up the possibility to Frank. He saw that she had texted him. Twice. "Shit," he muttered, opening the texts.
I'm not gonna ask about working part-time until after we announce the baby.
It would be great if you could take time off. I would def appreciate the help. Expect to have quite a few sleepless nights in your future. Does BioTerra do pat leave?
Jesse grinned at her second text. He opened a blank text, coming up with the perfect suggestive response.
I'm already planning on having a lot more than a few sleepless nights in my future, especially with you Mrs. Swanson. ;)
As soon as the text went through, he opened another blank document.
I get 3 weeks paid, 2 unpaid. We'll have to talk about it. I'd love to stay home with you and the baby for as long as I can.
Jesse hated referring to their baby as "the baby." He couldn't wait until they found out what they were having. He wanted to start planning the nursery and to start figuring out baby names. He grinned to himself when he thought about naming the baby. He made the decision to go out and buy a baby name book on the way home from work that evening. It was time that he and Beca started planning baby names and nursery themes. His phone buzzed with an incoming text from Beca.
You're such a pig. Take the 3 weeks, and we will talk about if we can do the extra 2 weeks, too.
He quickly texted his response.
I hope we can afford both of us to take those extra two weeks off. I will look into working from home for a little bit if I can. I wanna be home as much as I can.
He frowned, glancing around him. He had to finish his work or else Frank would whine about it to Phil. He sighed, texting this to Beca before he set his phone aside. He quickly picked up his pencil and got to work, looking over the sheet music in front of him.
A couple of hours later, Jesse found himself parking outside of the condo with a brown bag filled with Chinese food in one hand, a plastic bag from Barnes and Noble in other hand that was filled with one very thick book of baby names. His messenger bag was hooked over his one shoulder, and his laptop bag was hanging off of the other. He felt like a pack mule weighed down with all of this crap. He was attempting to maneuver the bag of Chinese food into the hand with the bag from the book store in order to open the door when it flew open, revealing Beca who was dressed in a pair of yoga pants and one of his t-shirts. He loved it when she wore his clothes. It made him feel like some kind of possessive caveman, like his clothes were a sign that she was his. Well, the swell of her bump beneath his shirt was an even bigger, glaring neon sign that she was his, but that was beside the point. He found her to be beyond sexy when she was in his clothes—even more than when she was naked. That might sound weird, but it was true; she was sexy in his clothes, and he loved to slowly pull them off her body. "I've got dinner." He told her, grinning. She smiled, taking the brown bag from his hands; she moved away from the door only after she was sure that he caught it with his now free hand.
"I'm starved." Beca said over her shoulder as she led the way into the kitchen. Jesse followed after he pulled his messenger bag and laptop bags off of his body and left them by the door. He carried the plastic bag with the book of baby names with him into the kitchen, tossing it onto the table in front of her as she pulled the containers of food from the brown bag. She frowned, setting down a container of General Tso onto the table. She pulled the book from the bag, and her jaw dropped open. All the while, he walked over to the cabinet to pull out two plates, two bowls, and two cups to take over to the table. He then grabbed them both some apple juice from the fridge (she had been craving it lately) and some utensils from the drawer. "A baby name book?" She said, finally finding her voice again.
"Yeah, I think we should start planning." Jesse smiled as he grabbed the pad of paper and pen that they left on the counter for taking phone messages and to write each other notes or reminders. He grabbed a second pen from their junk drawer, tearing the top piece of paper off to hand to Beca with a new pen. "Write down your favorites, and if we have any matching names, we can write it onto a third list that we will narrow down the name from." She stared at him for a moment.
"Do you honestly think that we are going to have any names in common?" He rolled his eyes at her.
"Yes, I do." She raised an eyebrow at him before she opened the book to the first page of names.
"First normal name on this list is Aaron." Beca crinkled her nose. "Uggh, I have no desire to go through a huge baby name book, reading names aloud, to find something we both like. Can't we write down a bunch of names and then look up the meanings or whatever later?" Jesse grabbed the book from her hands and shut it, placing it onto the table. He grabbed one of the containers of food and started digging some of it out to set on his plate. She did the same, pouring some of the wanton soup into her bowl. They traded containers, filling up their plates with a ton of food.
Beca and Jesse ate in silence as they wrote down a bunch of names on the paper. He started with boy names. He chewed on his a piece of chicken, staring at the blank page for a moment before he began to write down the names that he liked. They had both finished a plate and a half of food before they were done compiling their lists. He made little check marks next to his favorite names. "So, why don't you read your list?" She said, holding her list to her chest. He nodded his head, tearing it off of the pad of paper to get a third list ready—the names that they both liked. He read off the boy names, and she chewed her lip, occasionally telling him when she liked a name, as well. By the end of it, they had a list of six boy names that they both agreed on: Alexander, David, Ethan, Gabriel, Nathan, and Samuel. Beca grabbed the baby book. "Alright, let's find out what these names mean. Alexander means protector of men." She cocked her head to the side.
"That's kind of cool. Like, our baby would be a total badass with a name like that. He might be the next president. Or Jean-Claude Van Damme." She rolled her eyes at him.
"You're such an idiot. Alexander is nice, I guess." He grinned at her, writing the meaning beside the name. She flipped a few pages to find the meaning of the next name. "David means beloved." She smiled. "I like that one."
"Me, too, but it's still not as badass as Alexander." She rolled her eyes at him, again. (One of these days, they were going to roll right out of her head, because she did it to him so much. He'd still screw her, though, because she would always be hot to him, even without eyes.) They continued looking up the meaning of the names.
"Tell me how we picked six names with Hebrew origins." Beca laughed. Jesse grinned at her.
"Um, obviously the Jews are awesome, so…" She flipped him off, rolling her eyes. "You know, Rebecca is a Hebrew name, too. So, it was like your parents were guaranteeing that you were going to marry someone who was Jewish." He wagged his eyebrows at her, making her laugh and shake her head.
"You're really freaking strange, you know that?"
"Eh, that's why you like me." He winked at her before looking down at their lists of names. "Okay, so I really like Alexander, David, and, well, Gabriel is my middle name, so…"
"I like those three the best, too. I wouldn't be opposed to naming our son Gabriel." She said, not meeting his eyes. His heart started pounding in his chest a lot faster. Their son. Shit. This was really real. They were picking out baby names to name their baby once they knew what the sex of him or her was.
"Alright, so we could do Alexander David. Alexander Gabriel. David Alexander. Gabriel Alexander. Gabriel David. David Gabriel doesn't sound as good." Jesse paused. "I like Alexander and Gabriel together—'Protector of men' and 'Hero of God?' Our kid would never be bullied with a name like that."
"Not Gabriel Alexander." Beca said after a moment of doodling letter combinations on the back of her list of names. Jesse frowned, not knowing why. "G.A.S." They started chuckling at that. "He definitely would be made fun of if we named him that."
"Alright, no to Gabriel Alexander." He sighed. "So, we have to decide on A.D.S, A.G.S., D.A.S., or G.D.S. Which of the combinations do you like the best?"
"I really like David. Gabriel David would work. Or Alexander David. Or David Alexander. Or David Gabriel. Uggh, this is hard. How about we come back to it later? We have plenty of time to narrow down between those three names. And, there is a fifty percent chance that the baby is a girl, so it doesn't matter."
"Okay, let's do the girl names now." He read of his list of names, and again, she told him which names that she liked. "Oh, c'mon, Beca. I really like the name Mae. Can't we add that to the list, too?"
"I don't know. Mae seems like a country bumpkin kind of name." He studied her facial expression and didn't think she realized Mae is the same as May, just spelled differently.
"It's pretty. Mae Swanson sounds nice."
"It's okay…" She crinkled her nose. "Fine, add it to the list." He grinned, writing it at the bottom. Their finalized list of girl names was: Abigail, Josephine, Melanie, Olivia, Rose, Samantha, and Mae.
"I can't believe you wouldn't let me put down Charlotte."
"Just because we both can agree on the name of Gabriel as a possible contender if we are having a boy, it doesn't mean we have to have Charlotte on the list, too. I'm not as obsessed with having a daughter that has my middle name somewhere in her name as you happen to be about having a son sharing your middle name in some capacity." He sighed.
"Whatever. What does Abigail mean?" She quickly found it in the book.
"It means exalted or joyful father."
"Done. No need to look at the others. We have our daughter's first name." She stared at him.
"What?"
"Beca, you have no idea how fucking excited I am to have this baby, do you? To name our daughter something that means that? It is fate. If it's a girl, we name her Abigail. Little Abby Swanson." She smiled, resting her hand on her bump.
"Hey, little one. If you are a baby girl, would you like to be named Abigail? Or, is daddy a dummy?" The baby started kicking. "I know! I think he is such a huge dummy, too." Beca joked, and Jesse smacked her lightly on the upper arm before he slid his hand beneath her shirt to rest on her stomach.
"The baby's kicking; it likes the name Abigail."
"Or, he or she is agreeing with me that you're an idiot."
"C'mon, Beca. I love Abigail." She stared at him for a moment before nodding her head.
"Abigail it is, but let's look up the meanings of the other names, too. I won't give Abby a middle name that sucks." He grinned at her, pulling his hand from her stomach to quickly write the name down on the paper as their daughter's first name—if the baby was in fact a girl. She flipped through the book until she found Josephine. "The Lord's addition. Her name would be ridiculously Biblical-sounding with Abigail Josephine as a name—the exalted father turns into Father with a capital 'F' after pairing it with a name that means the Lord's addition."
"Yeah, I want the exalted father to represent myself and not the big guy upstairs. No to Josephine." He crossed it off the list. "Melanie?"
"It means dark-complected." Beca said after she found it. She shook her head, and Jesse immediately crossed it from the list, as well. "Abigail Rose is pretty. A.R.S."
"I like Abigail Rose Swanson, too." He said.
"Cross Samantha off the list." She said suddenly, making him look up at her in confusion.
"Why? What does it mean?" He asked her.
"No, it's not the meaning, but the name itself. We can't name our daughter Abigail Samantha."
"Why not? I think they sound good together."
"We aren't naming out daughter Abigail Samantha Swanson. A.S.S.? That is worse than Gabriel Alexander Swanson."
"Uggh!" Jesse immediately crossed off Samantha. He could picture it now: oh, hello, this is my daughter, A.S.S. Yuck. "Bye-bye, Samantha." Beca started flipping through the baby book, but then stopped. He raised an eyebrow at her, trying to keep the smile off his face, because the last name was Mae.
"Seriously, though? Mae." She smacked him on the upper arm with the book in her hands.
"What's wrong?" He said with as straight of a face as he could muster, rubbing his shoulder.
"I bet you're pleased with yourself. We aren't naming our daughter Mae after the incident that resulted in her existence!" He started laughing then, and she smacked him again with the book.
"It took you long enough to figure that one out." He said through his laughs.
"I'm sorry that I didn't think you were going to be a tool and try to sneak that name in there. I refuse to name our daughter Abigail Mae."
"But it sounds so good together, Beca. It's the perfect name!"
"I like Abigail Rose better. I think it sounds better than Abigail Mae."
"Nope. I want Mae."
"Jesse. Stop. We can't name our daughter that."
"Why not?"
"You realize that she is going to ask one day why we chose the names we chose, right? I'm not going to be the one to tell her that we chose the middle name of Mae, because it is an alternate spelling of the month that we made her in. That's fucked up."
"No, it's not. It's a good name. We don't need to tell her that she was made in the month of May. We could just say that we really liked that name."
"She's going to be able to do the math!"
"Um, if she is really grossed out by us having sex, we will tell her she should be thankful that we did it or else she wouldn't be alive."
"You can't say that to your kid!" Beca shook her head at Jesse, laughing. She laid her hand on her stomach, because the baby was kicking like crazy. "The baby is going nuts. Do you think it is trying to tell us that it is a she or that we are arguing over a middle name for no reason, because it's a boy?"
"I think that it's a she, and she is trying to tell you that she loves Daddy's idea for a name." She smacked him hard on the upper arm before she grabbed his hand and laid it on her stomach.
"Feel it. This baby is going to be a dancer or a soccer player or something." She closed her eyes, smiling at the sensation of the baby within her stomach. He pulled himself from his chair and knelt before her, rubbing the skin of her stomach.
"Hey, little one. Are you excited that Mommy and Daddy are talking about baby names? Do you like the name Mae?" He laughed when he felt the baby kick hard. "See, Becs, she wants the name Abigail Mae."
"Uggh, now I'm hoping for a boy so we don't have to worry about it." She muttered to herself. He mocked a gasp and leaned close to her belly, whispering against her skin.
"Don't listen to Mommy! She'll love you know matter what you are. She will also eventually let me have my way to name you Abigail Mae when you're born. If you're a girl, of course."
"How exactly do you think you're going to be able to do that?" Beca asked as she stared down at Jesse. He locked his eyes with hers and pressed a light kiss on her stomach.
"Mommy doesn't have faith in Daddy's persuasive skills, little one." He said quietly, not moving his eyes from hers. She cocked an eyebrow at him, holding his gaze. After a few moments, he broke eye contact and pressed another kiss to her stomach before pulling away. He began cleaning up the table, while she watched him, her arms crossed.
"I'm waiting to see how you are going to persuade me to pick the middle name of Mae."
"You'll see soon enough." He said over his shoulder as he loaded the dirty dishes into the dishwasher. When he was finished cleaning up the table, with the more finalized list of names tacked onto the fridge by a magnet, he walked back over to her and took her hands in his. "Time to get ready for bed."
"Jesse, it is barely seven-thirty." Beca scoffed, rolling her eyes. "For the first time in this pregnancy, I'm not exhausted at the moment. Although, I might have to pee…" She bit her lip.
"I said it's time to get ready for bed, not that we're going to sleep." Jesse told her as interlaced their fingers and led her towards the stairs.
"What if I don't want to have sex with you?" He laughed, shaking his head at her.
"When don't you want to have sex with me?" He joked. "This isn't about sex, Beca. We're gonna go upstairs and take a nice, relaxing bubble bath. When we get out, I'm going to give you a foot rub, because I know your ankles have begun to start bothering you. Then, when we are going to get into bed, and whether or not we have sex is up to you. Although, we both know what my vote is, but I'm fine with just holding you in my arms and hearing about your day and talking to you about whatever you want to talk about."
Jesse wrapped his arm around her shoulders as they sat at their table the fancy restaurant where they were meeting her parents for dinner, and Beca shook like a leaf beside him. Mia and her husband, Tom, were supposed to be joining them, but Mia had apparently given birth two weeks before, which no one thought to tell her about until her father had called to ask her if his and Sheila's presence at the dinner and the party were "really all that important" and why couldn't she just tell them "over the phone what was so imperative" for them to have to "take a day off of work and fly across the country to eat dinner with her and her husband on a Friday night and to go to their party the following night." He watched her shut down after that part of the phone call with her father, wrapping an arm around herself and turning her back on him. He felt his jaw tense, and he wanted to jump through the phone to punch her father in the face. Douche. He stepped forward, wrapping his arms around her waist and resting his head on her shoulder. He felt her relax into his chest. Apparently, her father and Sheila didn't want to leave Mia and Tom alone with baby Tommy, so she gave Dr. Mitchell a snappy remark about the perfect blond daughter being an imperfect mother. Her father's response was to sigh loudly and to say that he and Sheila would "humor" her and come to LA for the weekend.
"It is gonna be okay, Becs." Jesse told Beca, pressing a kiss to the side of her head and running his free hand over her swollen stomach. "Focus on the fact that tomorrow night, you and I are going to cut into a cake and find out the sex of our baby." He watched as she closed her eyes and leaned more firmly against his side. She moved her hand to rest on top of his, her fingers running over the back of his hand. He glanced down at their hands, realizing that they were their left hands. He watched how their rings shined beneath the dim lighting of the restaurant.
"I'm so excited. I can't wait to find out what he or she is and we can finally decide on the name." Beca turned to look at him. Jesse felt her gaze on his face as he studied their hands. He glanced up to see that she, too, and focused her gaze on their left hands. Her nose twitched, and she looked away for a moment before she turned her attention back onto him. She raised her free hand to rest against his cheek. "You heard our baby for the first time today." She whispered softly to him.
"Yeah, I did." Jesse grinned, readjusting their hands on her stomach so that their fingers interlaced. He leaned his head forward to rest against his forehead against hers. "Did I ever tell you thank you for giving me my baby?" He whispered, closing his eyes. She moved her hand from his cheek to the back of his neck.
"Only about a hundred times since the doctor's appointment and about two hundred times during it." She joked, leaning forward to press a light kiss to his lips. She didn't often initiate their kisses, so whenever she did, it always took him a moment to respond. He always did so with greater intensity than when he initiated their kisses (except those kisses that led to sex—those kisses were definitely intense and passionate when he initiated them, for the obvious reasons). He released her hand to kiss her more fully, sliding his hand into her hair. She pulled away from him after a moment, looking into his eyes. "You're going to be an amazing dad. This baby is lucky to have you." She whispered to him, smiling.
"No, the baby is lucky to have you as its mom." She rolled her eyes slightly, pressing another light kiss to his lips. He didn't try to deepen the kiss this time, because they heard a cough and a sigh.
"Now, Beca, is that really an appropriate way to act in public?" Beca jumped at the sound of her father's voice. She pulled away from Jesse, running a hand through her hair. He wanted to pull her back into his arms, because he could feel the tension and embarrassment rolling off of her at being caught sharing their private moment by her father. She had no need to be embarrassed, though. Her dad was just being his usual douchey-self. He grabbed her hand, squeezing it lightly, before he sent a tense smile to Dr. Mitchell and his second wife.
"Actually, Dr. Mitchell, I think that this is exactly how couples act in public, especially those who haven't even been married for four months." He said as she stood and leaned across the table to press a kiss to both of their cheeks, all the while gripping his hand in hers. He pulled his hand away and held it out to his in-laws, shaking them quickly. The moment that his hand slid from Sheila's, it immediately returned to its rightful place interlaced with hers.
"Dad, Sheila, why don't you both take a seat?" Beca waved her hand at the seats to the left of Jesse. "We're waiting on Mom and her boyfriend. What's his name?" She turned to face him, chewing her lip. "Brad?"
"I think," he shrugged. Dr. Mitchell and Sheila gingerly sat down. A waiter walked by, asking for drink orders.
"A bottle of your best white. That work for you and Jesse, Beca? You're mother and whatever flavor of the week she brought with her will have to suck it up or order their own drinks." Dr. Mitchell said, barely throwing a glance in their direction.
"Actually, Beca and I aren't drinking tonight." Jesse said, squeezing Beca's hand lightly. He turned to face the waiter, telling the man their orders. "I'll take a Coke, please, and Becs, a ginger ale?" She nodded her head.
"Yes, a ginger ale, please."
"You're not drinking? Since when do you not drink?" Dr. Mitchell said with disbelief. Sheila stared at Beca, her eyes narrowed.
"I'm sorry we're late, darling. Brad and I…got a little caught up in the hotel room." The first Mrs. Mitchell walked up to the table with a man who was probably three years younger than her daughter. Beca's eyes widened, and Jesse had to admit that he, too, did a double-take at the sight of his mother-in-law draped all over some kid. Beca squeezed his hand tightly under the table. He interlaced their fingers, giving her a gentle, reassuring squeeze, and he felt her body relax slightly beside him.
"That's fine. Sit." She said, standing up again and leaning across the table again to press a kiss to her mother's cheek and to shake hands with a guy that could pass as her younger brother, with her hand was still locked with his. He smiled (read: grimaced) as he shook both of their hands. He hated having to let go of her hand to do it. When he was finished and everyone was seated, he pulled her chair closer to his, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and reaching over to inter lace his fingers of his left hand with her left hand on top of the table. She let out a deep breath, leaning her head back against his arm.
"Here's your wine." The waiter set the two sodas down in front of Beca and Jesse and began to pour wine for the other four.
"You're not drinking, sweetie?" Beca's mother asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Apparently, she and her husband are not drinking tonight." Dr. Mitchell said, taking a sip of his wine. Her mother frowned.
"Why not? Is something wrong? Honey, is your husband an alcoholic?" Her mother whispered (read: said in a normal volume) to her behind her hand. "Sweetie, you don't need to give up alcohol just because he is. If Jesse's struggling, you shouldn't be forced to give up something, too."
What the fuck? Jesse didn't know what to make of this woman, and apparently, Beca didn't know either, because she just stared at her mother with her jaw dropped for a moment before she suddenly began sputtering disjointed sentences about how he wasn't an alcoholic. He squeezed her hand again reassuringly, and she finally snapped out of her surprise to shake her head at her mother, roll her eyes, and then glance over at him with a small smile on her face. "If anything, Jesse's abstaining out of support for me."
"What? Is being married to him so bad that you've become a drunk? I just knew that this whole marriage thing was a bad idea! Now my daughter's an alcoholic!" Beca's mother moaned, pressing a hand to her forehead, making strange choking sounds as if she was holding back tears. "You should have listened to me, Beca! I told you that marriage was a farce, and you were better off just screwing him for the rest of your life if you really wanted to."
"Bridget! I cannot believe you told our daughter that!" Dr. Mitchell said harshly, glaring at his ex-wife from across the table. He rolled his eyes after a few moments. "If Beca were an alcoholic, it is not because Jesse is a bad husband. It's probably because she finally realized that being married means she can't drop him every time things get a little too serious."
"Thanks, Dad! Whenever I'm feeling particularly saintly, I know exactly who to go to in order to remember just how much of a slut I really am." Beca spat, pulling her hand away from Jesse and crossing them on her chest. Shit, she was shutting down. He hated them for doing it to her. What the hell is wrong with these people? "And if you want to blame someone for my promiscuity over the last twelve years of my life, you can blame yourself, Sheila, and Mom." All three of them opened their mouths and began exclaiming about how wrong she was.
"Jesus Christ! I've had enough of this!" Jesse said as he pushed his chair back from the table. He grabbed Beca's hand and started to pull her from the table as he glared around the table. "We're leaving. Consider yourselves uninvited to the party tomorrow night. Neither one of us is an alcoholic, but sometimes I wonder why the hell Beca isn't one considering she was raised by the two of you." He waved his free hand from Dr. Mitchell to the first Mrs. Mitchell. "You're both fucking crazy." He glared at Sheila when she gasped and started muttering something about disrespect, and she immediately shut up. "Beca and I—scratch that. Beca wanted to sit down with you all to tell you something important that is happening in our lives, but if I had it my way, you wouldn't even be here. You people have no idea how amazing your daughter is; you just continue to treat her like garbage and as a way to hurt each other. It's pathetic. She turned out to be this wonderful person in spite of having you people as her parents. For some reason, she still loves you and tries to involve you in her life. If I had my say at all in anything that has to do with you people, you never would have come to the wedding, and you sure as hell wouldn't be sitting down at this table right now, but your daughter wanted to involve you."
"Jesse," Beca said as she pulled on his arm. He looked over at her, and he could tell that she was upset, but she was concerned about calming him down. "It's okay. I'm used to it. It's not that big of a deal."
"Not that big of a deal? Are you kidding, Beca? These people are your parents! They're supposed to love you unconditionally and stand by you even when you fuck up royally, not act like it is no big surprise that you're a failure or constantly put you down. They treat you like shit, and I don't want my kid around that."
"What?" Dr. Mitchell and the first Mrs. Mitchell said at the same time. "Honey, you're pregnant?" Beca's mother added, pressing a hand to her mouth.
"Yes, we're pregnant." Beca said, wrapping her arms tighter around Jesse's arm. "I'm due in February."
"Well, it appears that you got pregnant out of wedlock then. At least you're married now. What would all of my friends think if you two were still living in sin and bringing a bastard into this world?" Dr. Mitchell muttered. Jesse's jaw tightened, and he shook his head.
"You've got to be kidding me?" He started, but Beca just dug her nails into his arm, making him look over at her. Her cheeks were flushed, and her eyes were shiny. He knew she was going to start crying soon.
"Sweetheart, I hope this wasn't planned to make sure that he stays with you. You know as well as I do that having a child with someone doesn't keep them around. Your father certainly didn't. He chose a new family over us."
"Becs, we're leaving." Jesse said, pulling Beca away from the table. "Don't expect to be let in the door of our home tomorrow night. Or any involvement in our child's life."
"Jesse, they're my parents. I can't deny the baby the chance to know his or her grandparents." She said as he practically dragged her out the door. He narrowed his eyes at her as he led the way to his car.
"Yeah, well, I don't want my child to be subjected to the piss-poor treatment that you were as a child. I don't want my kid to be scarred by them." He said, throwing the passenger door open for her. She pulled away from him, crossing her arms on her chest.
"You constantly say that I turned out great, but apparently that is all bullshit. You think I'm scarred? Broken? Thanks a lot."
"You did turn out to be this amazing person, Beca. It's a wonder you're not fucked up and in jail for killing people based on how you were treated by those assholes. But you know as well as I do that you're scared shitless when it comes to letting people in. I don't want my son or daughter to build up these massive walls around themselves, not letting anyone in. I don't want my son or daughter to think that sex is the only thing worthwhile that he or she can get from another person. I don't want my son or daughter to keep people at arm's length out of protection because he or she was hurt so much. That's what you do, and it took a forced education for you to get close to your friends from college, and it took a forced marriage to get you to open up with me. I don't want to have to force things on my kid in order to get him or her to find good friends. I want my kid to take every opportunity that comes his or her way. I want my kid to fall in love at fifteen and get heartbroken and learn from it. I want my kid to be happy."
Beca wiped at the tears that were falling down her cheeks. Jesse took a step towards her, but she shook her head, stepping back. "I was happy with my life before all this happened. I loved my job. I loved my friends. I loved having the freedom of being single. I was happy." She snapped.
"No, you weren't." He told her, shaking his head sadly. "You want to know the first time I ever really saw you happy? Like really happy? It was today, when the ultrasound was being performed, and you heard our baby's heartbeat and you saw him or her on the screen. That was the first time I ever saw you smile, and your whole face lit up. It was the first time I ever saw you take down every single one of your walls. It was the first time I ever really saw you love something. I know you love Chloe and the girls; I know you love your job, but what you feel about this baby. It's so different. It's so much more. Sure, this baby wasn't exactly planned, but you've embraced it, and for the first time, I know what you look like when you're happy."
He felt winded when he finished, because it was true. He wished that she felt that way about him, but she didn't. He knew that she was going to be an amazing mom, because she was already an amazing wife and friend, but she wasn't happy with him. For the first time, he realized it. She probably wasn't going to ever be happy with him, not while she was forced to be married to him. They hadn't even been married for a full four months, and he finally realized why she kept bringing up the divorce. No matter how much he wanted her to fall for him, to stay with him, he finally realized that she wouldn't. It would take their getting divorced, their attempting to raise a child together as two separate people. Maybe then she could see him as something other than the person that hung the noose around her neck, as something other than her best friend, as something other than the person who fathered her child.
"Jess," Beca swallowed and took a hesitant step towards him. "You've seen me happy." Jesse shook his head, giving her a sad smile.
"No, I haven't. Not really, not until today. Even all of those times that you and I talked about the baby; it was never like how I saw you today. I know that the moment that baby gets here, I'm probably going to have to fight you for a moment with him or her." He joked, looking down at his feet. He couldn't look at her, because it pained him to know that she didn't feel anything towards him, or at least not anything close to what he felt about her.
"You make me happy, Jesse. You're my best friend." She stepped closer to him, raising a hesitant hand toward him. His eyes moved to her hand, and he saw that it was shaking. She paused, holding about three inches from his chest. After a moment, she rested it against him, over his heart. "It took barely two months of living together for me to realize that." She stepped even closer. She lifted her hand off of his chest and then wrapped both of her arms around his waist, laying her cheek against the place her hand had been laying moments before. "You've made me happier than anyone else in my entire life ever has, even more than Chloe and the other girls. You've put up with all of my bullshit over the last five months, and you've stood up for me. You've given me the most amazing thing I could ever ask for." She dropped her hand from his back and grabbed his hand to rest against her stomach. "We're having a baby." She whispered. "There is a little boy or girl growing inside of me, and it's half of me and half of you."
Jesse finally moved his gaze to hers. Beca gave him a small smile. He realized it then. He was in love with this woman. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with her and their baby. He wanted their family to stay together. He tried to smile at her, but he couldn't. He felt like his heart was swelling and breaking all at once. It was excruciating. She furrowed her brow, standing up on her toes, pressing herself more firmly against his chest, trapping their hands in between them, against her the swell of her stomach. She brushed her nose against his, their eyes locked. He moved his other hand to rest against her cheek, leaning his head forward to lay his forehead against hers. He closed his eyes and tried to keep the tears from slipping down his cheeks. He wanted to kiss her, and he was pretty sure that she wanted him to, but he couldn't do it. After realizing that he loved her, he couldn't bring himself to pretend that it was all just an act. He couldn't bring himself to do it. He couldn't kiss her or make love with her (God, he hated that cheesy phrase, but it was true; he didn't want to have sex or to fuck her—he wanted to make love to her). It would hurt him too much. "Jesse?" She said quietly, and he shook his head. "Jess, kiss me."
"I can't." He whispered back.
"Yes, you can. You just put your lips onto mine and move them around. Not all that hard."
"Beca," he sighed, fighting to keep the smile off of his face. She's ridiculous.
"Jesse, I'm actually giving you permission to kiss me right now. I'm telling you that you can take me home and work out all of your aggression and hatred towards my parents in the form of giving me killer orgasms. Kiss me."
"I can't." She pulled away from him, and he could feel her eyes on him, but he didn't open his eyes.
"Why won't you kiss me?"
"I'm tired. I just want to go home and climb into bed and get some sleep."
"We can go home when you tell me why you won't kiss me."
"Beca, please."
"No, Jesse. Open your eyes and look at me. Why won't you kiss me?"
"Because I'm tired. Because I'm not in the mood to have sex. Because I just want to go home and climb into bed with my wife and hold her and just…fuck, I don't know."
"Do you not find me attractive? I mean, I'm five months pregnant now. I've gained about fifteen pounds over the course of five months. That's kind of a lot. I'm sure that I'm not exactly sexy anymore…"
"It's not that, Beca." She shook her head, not meeting his eyes.
"It's fine. I get it. I'm not sexy, and you're no longer attracted to me. I'm just fat and ugly an—" He cut her off by kissing her forcefully. He hated himself for doing it, because he knew that she was just feeling insecure about her appearance, and instead of being honest, instead of telling her that he didn't want to kiss her because he had feelings for her and knew that she didn't return those feelings, he kissed her and tried to show her how he was feeling in that kiss. He pressed her against the car, his hands tangling into her hair so that he could angle her head better. Her hands gripped his shoulders, her fingernails digging into his skin. Her hands slid up his neck, into the hair on the back of his head. He groaned into the kiss when her fingernails scraped along the skin there. Fuck! This isn't what he intended.
When air became a problem, Jesse broke the kiss, pulling his face a few inches away from Beca's. They both panted slightly like dogs during the summer. He studied her face, taking in the rosiness of her cheeks, the glaze over her eyes, and the swollenness of her lips, how red they were from his bruising assault of them. Her tongue flicked over her bottom lip, and he decided that he needed to taste it. Within seconds, he was back to kissing her, his tongue forcing its way into her mouth to curl around hers. She moaned into the kiss, arching against him, shifting her stance to wrap one leg around his calf. He rocked his hips into hers, and she moaned again. He needed to get a hold of himself. He was like a fucking teenager, trying to have his way with a girl in the backseat of his car. This was sick. This wasn't the way that he showed her that he loved her; no, this was showing her that he lusted after her. There was a huge difference between the two. He broke the kiss, detaching himself from her and taking a step to the right to lean against the open door of the passenger side of the car. "You're not fat. You're not ugly. You're sexy as fuck. Don't ever think anything different." He said after a few moments.
Beca blew out a breath, running a hand through her hair. "Wow." She ran her fingers across her lips. She shook her head, as if trying to regain her composure. Jesse readjusted his stance, because he had a huge hard on for her, and he didn't exactly want to fuck his pregnant wife against the side of his car in the parking lot of a fancy restaurant. He wanted to go home and worship her body, to make love to her. Shit, he shouldn't be doing this. It was like an addiction. He finally woke up and realized that he can't keep sleeping with her or else it would destroy him, because she didn't want a real marriage between them, but then he kissed her, and now he wants to show her just how real it could be between them. Seriously, he was definitely an idiot. "Jesse?" He looked over at her, and she was biting her lip in a way that was decidedly too sexy for a woman who is twenty-seven years old and pregnant with his child. He was about to do the dirtiest things to her in a crowded parking lot.
"Let's get out of here." He moved out of the doorway, letting her move past him and get into the car. He started to shut the door, but she grabbed his hand, holding it in hers for a moment before she raised it to kiss his knuckles.
"Thank you for standing up for me with my parents." He bent over, pressing a kiss to her forehead, squeezing her hand.
"No problem." He pulled away from her, shutting the door and walking (with some effort due to the tightness in his pants) around the front of it to the driver's side.
Author's Note: Let me know what you think about this chapter. EEEEKKK! So, Jesse loves Beca! AHHH! I know you're all freaking out and wondering when Beca is going to realize that she loves Jesse. We all know that is probably going to take some time…aka the birth of the baby…and some other stuff. Then, they actually have to admit to each other that they love the other person! After the next chapter, the story should start to speed up some.
Also, small polls:
Using Gabriel, Alexander, and David, what kind of combo do you like for the baby if it is a boy?
Should it be Abigail Rose or Abigail Mae if it is a girl? I love both combos, but part of me REALLY wants Jesse to use his best powers of persuasion to get Beca to agree to Abigail Mae. ;)