Bella p.o.v
I wake up to the most beautiful sight in the world. My girlfriend, I can't help but notice the little strand of hair covering her face so I gently tuck it behind her ear before snuggling in closer to her.
I long for these moments because with all the bad stuff going on; she makes me feel like the luckiest person alive and all I want to do is spend forever in her arms.
"You're staring" she speaks sleepily and if I wasn't focused on how cute she sounded I'd probably be wondering how the hell she figured it out without opening her eyes.
"How can I not when you're so beautiful baby?" I ask as I notice a small smile creep on her face as she kisses me softly.
"Mmm morning" she nudges her nose against mine before fluttering her beautiful blue eyes open.
"Morning my love" I speak softly back placing gentle kisses on her one by one as I hear her moan I straddle her before kissing her passionately with love.
"Mmm so good" she moans in between kisses as I grind my hips down into hers, "fuck me baby that's so good"
"oh I will" I smirk as I kiss my way down her neck , biting , sucking … she tastes so good I can't stop myself from doing it harder as she wraps her legs tightly around my back pulling me into her further.
I kiss my way down her neck and start to kiss her boobs one by one I give them all the loving and attention they deserve muttering "you're so beautiful" before swapping to the next tracing light patterns with my fingertips as she moans louder and louder.
"Fuck so hot" she whimpers as I start to kiss down her torso trailing my tongue up and down
"Tan caliente" (so hot), "tan Hermosa" (so beautiful), "todo mío" (All mine) I speak as I kiss the insides of her thighs moaning when I smell her essence.
"God baby I fucking love it when you speak Spanish" She breathes out as I take one painfully slow taste of her.
"Fuck baby don't tease please" she begs as I lick again but a little quicker this time.
I thrust my tongue into her as she yells "fuck baby!" forcing my head further into her tightening her grip in my hair and it's the hottest thing I've ever witnessed.
"Don't stop" she yells as I circle her clit with my thumb before I start to feel her shake around me I lap up all of her juices moaning at how good she tastes before kissing my way back up her body kissing every inch of skin I can find.
"Te amo baby" I say kissing her lips softly as she is still panting
"Best-sex-ever" she gets out in-between breaths pulling me in for another kiss.
"You get a shower baby and I'll go make some pancakes okay?" I ask pulling on some of her sweats god I love wearing her clothes I think as she mumbles a small yes and I have a little victory dance inside.
So for half an hour now I've been doing the pancakes; making little faces on them with blueberry's, strawberry's and raspberry's because they're her favourite fruit.
"Wow babe" I hear as I notice Lucy come down the stairs in some sweats yet she still looks so beautiful. "You made smiley face pancakes" She lets out a huge grin before digging in with me as I check my phone I sigh.
"What's up baby?"
" I have loads of texts; seems my mami wants a chat … great" I scoff taking the last bite out of my pancakes I just want this to all be over with now.
"Baby this could be a good thing; maybe she realises now" she speaks softly taking my hand in hers.
"What if … I don't know if I'm strong enough" I make out eventually trying to get my thoughts across.
"Strong enough for what?"
"I don't know if I'm strong enough to let her back in to get hurt again; I don't know if I can do it… it's so hard baby" I sigh in the crook of her neck as she holds onto me.
She pulls back looking me directly in the eyes "You baby, you're the strongest person I've ever met and bravest which is why I believe you can do this baby; you need to talk to her."
"I know" I realise painfully
"And if you fall baby I'll always be here to catch you" she finishes giving me a gentle but passionate kiss on the lips "I love you"
"I love you too baby, so much" I answer before putting on some shoes as we walk towards probably the scariest thing in my life.
As we come to the front door I can feel myself shaking uncontrollably;
"Baby breathe, it's okay" Lucy says placing her hands on my shoulders "you got this."
I nod before giving her one last kiss as we walk into the house and they are all sat in the living room, Mami, Britt, Rachel and Quinn.
"Hey guys" Lucy speaks up for me knowing my nervousness.
"Hey Luce, Bella" Brittany speaks sensitively as I nod in nervously.
"Um how about we all go for a coffee so you guys can talk" Rachel suggests sweetly as they all agree leaving me and mami in silence.
"Mija" Mami says as she comes and sits next to me trying to take my hand as I quickly move away I notice her.
"Don't call me that" I wince hearing the name roll of her tongue
"What d'you me-"
"I'm not your mija" I say seriously with harshness how dare she call me that!
"If I'd have known about your dad I would have stopped it" she says sincerely.
"Stopped it ha-ha, I'm surprised you wouldn't want to join in" I laughed sarcastically
"You know I wouldn't do that, I may be a lot of things but I don't do that … not to the people I love"
I notice the tears start to fall from her face as I try my best to ignore them… "yeah but you don't love me that's the thing" I whisper taking a deep breath.
"I do love you baby girl" I cringe inwardly as she says the words I've been longing to hear ... but I can't believe them anymore.
"Then why do you treat me like this!" I yell losing it "don't say you love me because I don't believe you! I've needed you so many times and I had no one but myself to rely on... where were you when I needed a mum where were you?" I ask breaking into sobs as I slide down the wall.
She pulls me so tight into her grip that I couldn't let go if I tried to; and I want to let go so bad but feeling her hold me again after all these years is magical.
"I love you baby girl I'm so so sorry; I'm gonna be here now for you I promise" she holds tighter not letting me go.
"I've spent so many years without you... I don't need you anymore" I sigh feeling drained.
"I'm sorry I wasn't there before I just ... I hate the world so much mija, I hate it for how it treated me and Brittany in school when we got together, and I hate the world for everything bad it's done to me. And I take it out on you" She cries into me "I'm sorry".
"Why me?" I ask hoarsely from all the crying.
"Because ultimately you're the only one who can never leave me" she whispers like she knows what she's done to me.
"So you didn't even have a real reason" I state more than speak as it settles in I start to feel bad; but then I realise she has no excuse to have treat me the way she did and it makes me fuming.
"Mija" she starts
"So you didn't even have a real reason for treating me this way! Do you even know what you've put me through I thought about cutting myself because of you, I thought about suicide! I had nothing do you have any idea what it's been like for me! I go to school I get the crap kicked out of me because I'm gay and I get called a dyke by none other than the people who are supposed to be my brother and sister; then I come home and get called worthless and god knows what else! Then I go to dads and get the crap beaten out of me. I had nothing; no one after abuelo died... and now I find out that it's all for no fucking real reason!" I rant letting everything out in between sobs, how could she do that too me.
"You thought about suicide?" She asks her voice breaking in the process as more tears fall.
"Yeah a lot of times actually ... I used to plan it out but just as I'd go to do it I'd realise how selfish it was. There are people out there who get life taken away from them and I was ready to throw mine away. But then as dad carried on beating me in a way I felt relieved." I let out shakily.
"Relieved?"
"You seemed to hate me so much, when he beat me it made me feel like I was earning myself forgiveness from what I did to make you hate me so much" I croak out scrunching my eyes shut.
"I'm so so so so sorry baby girl lo siento I promise I will never treat you like that again." She says taking my hand kissing it.
"I'm so tired mami." I state "I'm so tired of hurting and feeling numb ... I just want to be okay again" I cry as she pulls me closer rocking me back and forth.
"Will you try with me then mija? Will you try to help me fix this family ... together" She asks hopeful.
"Okay" I say feeling a weight lifted off my shoulders as she tells me she loves me lying down on the sofa with me.
"Obviously your dads never coming here again, I hit him a few times and sent him packing"
"Okay" I state again softer this time knowing for the first time in a long time she's tried to protect me.
"When did he start doing it?" She asks softly stroking my hair as my eyes close softly at the feeling.
"Your wedding night" I instantly feel her hands freeze and I open my eyes softly to see her teary ones questioning me. "He told me we could be a family again all I had to do was make it look like Brittany cheated on you. But I knew that you loved her and she made you happier than you ever were with dad so ... so I said no and that's why he started" I finish feeling a weight lifted off my chest.
"It's my fault" She states guiltily as she starts to shake and apologise.
"Mami, it's not your fault you didn't make him do it ... were supposed to be moving forward now" I comfort her rubbing her back soothingly as she stops shaking.
"I love you with all my heart mija" she speaks softly before drifting off to sleep on the sofa.
And as I slowly drift to sleep myself I think how for the first time in a long time,
I feel loved.
Hey guys so I hope you liked the chapter; I didn't really plan it I just felt it and I hope you felt it too. Thank you for reading and please review I love when you do... any questions any advice any ideas or even if you just want a chat pm me or write it in a review and I'll get back to you many thanks :)