Chapter 51- A Blessed Ceremony
"To cheat oneself out of love is the most terrible deception; it is an eternal loss for which there is no reparation, either in time or in eternity." —Soren Kierkegaard
~0~
Smoothing her pale lilac gown of invisible wrinkles, Mikhail drew in a deep breath. She was nervous; she shouldn't have been uneasy, but she was. Never had she imagined this day would come. She had sworn off love time and again since that first treacherous affair with her tutor. She had watched herself and other people cry over love; love hurt too much. At least it did before Ryan had come along.
She was incredibly lucky to find him, a big ol' teddy bear posing as a grizzly in a Techno suit. She rescued him from the life of destroying lives and he rescued her from herself.
"Khail stop fussing, the dress is perfect!" Toc scolded her before giving her a reassuring smile.
The ceremony had moved outside after Cloe and Ved were hitched. It was Ryan's idea, to have a less traditional ceremony out amongst the flowers his fiancée loved so much; a ceremony that fit a Pirate's lifestyle; the kind of ceremony that would honor Mikhail and Rayne's grandparents whose rings the happy couple would be exchanging on this day.
It was hard for her to focus as Tai-San began the ceremony, welcoming their friends, family, and random guests before casting a circle to be made holy for the occasion. She didn't even comprehend how Tai-San consecrated the rings, but she tried to keep up as Tai-San, their interim high priestess, began telling of the symbolism of a circle and it's correlation to true love.
"….today is the day to celebrate the love of Ryan and Mikhail. They are two halves of a whole. Two souls joining to form a single being; two hearts beating in a single rhythm. Let them exemplify their unity in the lighting of a candle, showing the universe they are a unified light burning brightly in the darkness."
Both she and Ryan, who was smiling at her adoringly, each took a torch to the lone candle Tai-San held. Then one by one her family, the people that meant the most to her, except for the two Pirates who hadn't been around much since the Mall Rats came along, began to give the blessings.
Toc was up first, facing the east. "Blessed be this marriage with the gifts from the east—new beginnings that come each day with the rising sun, communication of the heart, mind, body, and soul."
In a more gruff, but sincere voice, Lefty followed his counterpart in speech, "Blessed be this marriage with the gifts of the south—the light of the heart, the heat of passion, and the warmth of a loving home."
"Blessed be this marriage with the gifts of the west—the rushing excitement of a raging river, the soft and pure cleansing of a rainstorm, and a commitment as deep as the ocean itself," Rayne followed the others in perfect sync.
It was her blessing that made Mikhail laugh inside. It was so appropriate for her baby sister to give the blessing involving water. It was why the young girl was named Rayne. Their mother had said when she came she was like the element of water. In fact she had come during a rainstorm.
It was Tai-San who concluded the cardinal points, "And blessed be this marriage with the gifts of the north—a solid foundation on which to build your lives, abundance and growth of your home, and the stability to be found by holding one another at the end of the day."
Mikhail once again took in a deep breath, glancing at her sister who shared a knowing look. Khail knew the part that would come next and she let her first tear fall at the memories that flooded her head; memories of an enveloping love.
It was time for the exchanging of rings; her gram and pappy's rings. She was certain her grandmother, a woman to which was closer to her than her own mother, was smiling down on her from the great beyond with her grandpa, his mammoth arm around the woman's frail frame.
They had been a couple whose love had been true from their hearts to the deepest crevice of the ocean; it was a love Mikhail knew not even death could separate.
~0~
Ryan had never loved a woman like he loved Mikhail, not even Salene, though he had loved his first wife deeply. Every time he looked at Mikhail it was like it was the first time. She was radiating with love, not just for her tribe and family, but for others who could not readily help themselves. She was smart, a leader, and on top of that she was beautiful. He was smitten from the first time he laid eyes on her.
When he met Mikhail he was angry. He was angry with himself for not being strong enough in his relationship with Salene; angry with the Chosen for separating him from his pregnant wife, and angry with the Technos for taking him so far away from the city and forcing him to join or be imprisoned.
He had desperately needed closure and it never came and for that he was angry. But he was no Techno and Mikhail knew that. When she took over their base camp and he looked into those grey eyes he hesitated in the fight. And the rest was history.
Mikhail and the Pirates helped him get over his anger by bringing him to Fleur Isle. They were often gone for weeks at a time, but Mikhail always made sure to check in on him on their returns. They first became friends. He wanted to go right with her where he had gone wrong with Salene. He listened and he learned about her and found Mikhail, like him, too needed healing. They had both sworn off the one thing people needed most; love. And they were miserable without it.
When they realized it wasn't love making them miserable, but the absence of the emotion they were already very fond of one another. Before they knew it they had a son; and now they would become man and wife.
"I bid you both now to look into each other's eyes and hearts. Ryan," Tai-San said snapping him out of his thoughts, "Please place the ring on Mikhail's finger."
He slipped the silver ring on her finger; two hands clasping the diamond, a pink tourmaline heart surmounted by a crown with a small white diamond made up the circle of the ring. His ring wasn't nearly as intricate (and that was fine with him), it was simply silver; the hands, heart, and crown more of an engraving than his bride's.
Mikhail had described the rings to him as Claddagh rings. She said each element of their rings was a symbol corresponding to the qualities of love (the heart), friendship (the hands), and loyalty (the crown). Three elements he truly believed represented their love.
"Do you, Ryan, promise to show Mikhail your honor and fidelity, to share her laughter and joy, to support and stand by her in times of difficulty, to dream and hope together with her, and to spend each day loving her more than the day before?"
He grinned widely, "I certainly do."
The crowd giggled as Tai-San continued, "Mikhail, please give Ryan the ring. Do you, Khail, promise to show Ryan your honor and fidelity, to share his hopes and dreams, to laugh with him and share endless days of joy, to stand side by side with him in times of trouble, and to spend each day loving him more than the day before?"
Her voice was like a sweet song in his ears as Mikhail answered, "For eternity."
"The vows of love have been spoken. I ask you now to take one another's hands, crossing them over each other's."
As Ryan took Mikhail's hands in his, Tai-San wrapped a purple cord around their wrists, tying a knot that bonded them loosely together.
"Ryan, Mikhail, this cord is symbolic of many things. It is your life, your love, and the eternal connection that the two of you have found with one another. The ties of this hand fasting are not formed by these ribbons, or even by the knots connecting them. They are formed instead by your vows, by your pledge, your souls, and your two hearts, now bound together as one."
"Ryan, as one last bond, will you please kiss Mikhail?"
Ryan wasted no time in pulling his bride into a quick, but passionate kiss. Tai-San, without untying the knot, freed them of the cord and presented them to the crowd before she began a prayer to close out the circle.
When it was all set and done, Ryan took his son and bride in his arms. He wanted to pinch himself to see if this was even real, but he knew it was unnecessary. In a damned world he had found love and he had found family. That was more than he deserved, but he would cherish every moment he had with them, as his wife had so put it, 'For eternity.'
~0~
Salene stood on the boardwalk watching the tide lap at the edges of the beach. She had long since wiped her face of the tears, but she couldn't wipe away the stains; she had cried too many tears in this life.
"That was quite a ceremony wasn't it?"
She stiffened at the sound of his voice, Bray's voice approaching her on the pier. She remained silent, but she could sense him standing ever so closely, hesitating on what to say. He had always been that way. He was always quiet just before the fallout because he never quite mastered the art of 'the right things to say'.
Things were always lost in translation when it came to communicating with Bray. His demeanor could say one thing when he really meant to verbalize another. It always confused her. She had grown weary of being hurt and confused.
"Oh c'mon Sal, you can't stay mad forever!"
"There's nothing left to say between us Bray. I have a brain of my own, I can take care of myself, and I can certainly speak for myself. I asked one thing, just one thing of you and you couldn't leave well enough alone. "
"That's my baby too Salene! Do you know what could've happened to you had I left well enough alone? That could have been you, not Sammy we buried"
"I know," she answered with less hostility, turning to face him now.
"Well then if you know that why are you angry?"
"I just …Amber and Kyra…"
"They're not your problems Salene, they're mine. If you were keeping silent to protect them, well I can take care of myself," he said using her words against her.
"It wasn't to protect them…at least not fully…it was to protect myself."
Bray looked at her confused, "What are you protecting yourself from?"
"I don't know, shame…heartbreak…" she said shrugging, letting her voice trail off. " I feel like I did all those years ago in the mall Bray, chasing after you like a girl with a school crush. I don't want to be that Salene ever again, silly and stupid."
"You weren't stupid, I was."
"I made a fool of myself!"
"The past is in the past Salene."
"Is it? Because it seems to keep re-appearing every turn we make!"
Without warning he took one of the hands she dropped in his, "Sometimes the past returning to us can be a good thing."
She snatched her hand away, "Don't…"
"Why? Why is it so hard for you to let me love you?"
"Because you say it doesn't mean you mean it."
"How can you know when you're fighting it so hard?"
"Because I…I just need space, ok? And you…you need time. You're confused Bray, I can see it…the way you look at Kyra. You love her."
"If I love her then why am I here with you? Why is it so easy to let her go?"
"She's not even gone yet…just take some time Bray…" she ordered him one last time before leaving him alone to think.
As she walked away though, she thought maybe she needed the time; time to trust her heart to love once again.