Chapter Seven: Parting Fog

Flynn was eighteen, and he had no idea what he'd done in life to end up here. He'd been so excited when he got his orders to transfer to the capital. It meant he was really moving up in the ranks, and that someone had noticed how hard he worked. He'd only wished Yuri was still around to celebrate with him.

And now he was here. They'd thrown him in a dark concrete room with no explanation, no charges, and no trial. He had lost track of the time, but he was pretty sure it had been over a month and a half, maybe over two. He had no way to be sure, because he couldn't tell when one day ended and the other began. He hadn't seen daylight since he got here, and he was only ever able to snatch an hour or so of sleep before someone rudely woke him up, usually by dumping freezing water on him or kicking him in the ribs.

He leaned against the cold, rough wall, taking short, shuddering breaths. It was hard to breathe with broken ribs, but he had a rare moment of solitude and he'd take any chance he had to relax. He couldn't feel his jaw beyond a dull throbbing, and even if there was enough light to see he would only have half his vision because his left eye was so swollen.

Flynn shivered and rubbed his arms, wishing he still had a shirt to combat the chill. He tried to stay positive and reminded himself that the frozen concrete wall felt good against the lashes on his back. He wanted to cry but he hadn't had anything to drink in what felt like a few days. His mouth was parched and he had no moisture to spare on tears, so he just closed his eyes and wished he could fall asleep and wake up in a happier place.

Maybe it would be better if he at least knew why any of this was happening. What had he done? Why was he being punished? The knights never told him. The one that came in the most often seemed to enjoy it, but that couldn't be why he was here in the first place. Maybe it was because he was such a terrible knight.

No, wait, I'm not a terrible knight, he told himself. He held firm to his memories of praise from his former captain and the smiles from the citizens he'd helped. The trouble was that every day those memories got blurrier and blurrier. It was starting to become hard to believe that he'd even had a life before this hell.

This whole situation simply didn't make sense. He was a good knight. He'd always worked hard and done his duty, so why was this happening to him? He knew there were problems with the Imperial Knights, but they wouldn't lock up and torture an innocent man for no reason.

A creeping dread that he'd been trying to suppress for weeks finally put itself into words. If you are a knight and the Knights are, in general, a just organization, they wouldn't do this to you unless you really deserved it.

Flynn groaned and buried his face in his hand. No, he didn't believe that. He knew he'd done nothing wrong… right? But those guards constantly went on about how wrong and awful he was, and they were even higher ranked in the Knights than he was, so they would know. If he couldn't even think of what he'd done to deserve this treatment, did that mean something about his worldview was just inherently wrong and kept him from seeing the truth?

"No," he whispered as forcefully as he could. He had to say it out loud to make it sound more true. That was bullshit thinking and he did not believe that. This must be a mistake. They'd arrested the wrong guy and they hadn't listened to his pleas for an explanation long enough to realize they'd messed up. There was nothing more important than protecting the innocent and fighting to make people smile. There had to be another reason this was happening to him… he just couldn't think of it through the haze of pain.

Metal scraped on metal and his heart leapt. That was the sound of the door unlocking. No, no, no, the knights had just left; they couldn't be back already. He was so exhausted he thought he might just pass out if they started again.

It wasn't a knight who entered, though. It was a girl. The door shut firmly behind her, and then she knelt next to him. Flynn flopped his head to the side so he could get a good look at her, and stared in confusion.

"Hello," she said softly. "Do you know who I am?"

He nodded slowly. "You're…" he croaked before his voice fizzled out. He took as deep a breath as he could through his busted ribs and tried again. "You're Princess Estellise."

"That's right, Flynn," she said with a smile.

She knew his name. She'd even said it. No one had called him by name since he got here, and he hadn't realized how much he missed hearing it. She must be here to tell him this was a mistake! The princess must have found out what was happening and then told Alexei she'd met Flynn and knew he wasn't the guy they were after so now she was here to let him out.

"I'm going to help you," she said.

Flynn managed to smile, though it hurt his face. He was right! The prospect of this hell being over made all his aches and pains lessen.

"You do know why you're here, right?"

Flynn's smile turned to confusion. "What…? No."

Estellise reached for him and he flinched, instinctively expecting her to hurt him. Instead she rested her hand gently on his shoulder, which felt so foreign he almost forgot how to interpret it. No one had touched him without causing pain in months.

She leaned forward and gently caressed his shoulder, carefully avoiding the deep bruise lower down. In a soft, soothing voice that reminded Flynn of angels, she said, "You're here because you are a bad person."

He gaped at her. "I… what… but…?"

"You deserve this," she went on. "This is happening to you because you are a bad knight."

He weakly shook his head. No, that wasn't true. What could he have done to deserve this? Estellise was behaving so differently from the guards who usually hurt him and she knew who he was, but she also told him there was something wrong with him, so didn't that mean it might be true?

She saw his confused eyes and said, "You deserve this because the way you think is wrong. If you weren't so wrong and so bad, we wouldn't have to hurt you. After all, the Knights only punish bad people."

That… was true… but this had to be some mistake! How could everything about himself be bad?

"But it's alright," Estellise said with a forgiving smile. "I'm going to help you become better. I'm your friend, Flynn. You can trust me."

Golden light glowed around her, and was forced to look away after weeks in darkness. Warm tingling spread across him, pinpointing the parts that hurt, which was basically all of him, and making the pain fade away. When the light died and she pulled back, Flynn gasped with relief. After breathing through broken ribs for a couple of days, being able to take deep breaths with only a mild amount of pain was a relief. The pain had only been lessened and not completely eradicated, but after so many weeks of misery even this was worth celebrating.

He stared at the princess with wide eyes and said, "Thank you."

"Of course," she said, smiling and wrapping her arms around his shoulders in a comforting hug. "I'm only here to help you."

Flynn relaxed for the first time in months. She was soft, warm, and smelled nice. He had never appreciated gentle touches as much as he did now. When she pulled away, his battered body longed for her comforting touch to return.

"Do you understand yet? That you're a bad person and that's why you deserve this?"

He still couldn't figure out why someone so kind was agreeing with his abusers. Unless it's true… No, stop thinking that! He shook his head. "No. The Imperial Knights are here to protect people, and I don't see how believing that makes me a bad person."

Estellise's smile dropped. "Oh, Flynn, I wish you would just trust me. Can't you see I'm trying to help? It's these beliefs you have that are making you miserable." She stood up and sighed. "Now you're going to have to suffer again, and it's all your fault. I'm so disappointed in you."

"W-what?" he tried to get up so he could follow her, but didn't quite have the strength for it. Estellise left the room, but as she walked out, two more knights entered. Flynn shrunk against the wall, heart hammering. Not again.

One of them grabbed his throat and jerked him to his feet. Flynn scrambled to find his balance so that he wasn't hanging by his neck and gasped as the sudden violent movement exacerbated all his half-healed injuries. He weakly clawed at the man's hand, trying to loosen the pressure on his windpipe.

"What a piece of shit."

The knight holding him tightened his grip and dread oozed down Flynn's spine at the voice. He could never tell them apart with their concealed faces, but he recognized this one by the voice. He was tall and broad-shouldered and came to Flynn's cell more often than any of the others, and he hit harder, too. Flynn thought of him as The Man with the Aftershave, because his was so overpowering it made Flynn want to throw up as he loomed in his face and clogged his nose with the musty aroma. Flynn was more frightened of him than he'd ever been of anyone else, and he didn't even know what he looked like, though he imagined he must be horrifying.

"Cowering on the floor like an animal," Aftershave spat. "You're not a knight, you're a filthy maggot."

He shoved Flynn away, and his arms flailed as he tried stay upright. He was so dizzy from hunger, dehydration, and lack of sleep that this was a useless effort and he hit the ground with a thud. His elbow smashed into the concrete, sending stabs of pain shooting through his arm. He groaned and tried to roll onto his side, but the other knight pinned him down with his boot.

"Did he actually bust his elbow falling over?" the other knight said. "What a waste of space. Can't even fall over properly."

Flynn took deep breaths, wishing harder than he'd ever wished before that he could just go home. If he left the castle he could walk down the street straight to the lower quarter, which he never thought he'd miss as much as he did now. I'm not wrong, he thought desperately. They're making a mistake. I'm not a bad person. I'm not, I'm not.

"Hey!" Aftershave snarled. "Look at us when we're talking to you, you fucking worm." His heavy boot smashed into Flynn's side with a crunch, cracking the ribs Estellise had only just healed. Flynn squeezed his eyes shut and panted, his chest screaming in agony. He could barely breathe without setting off unbearable pain.

"You should be thanking us for even taking the time to pay attention to a pathetic animal like you." The other knight planted his foot on Flynn's chest, right over his broken ribs. "What use are you if you can't even figure out how horribly wrong and shitty you are?"

He leaned all his weight on that foot, pressing down on the broken ribs until the world flashed white.

Flynn's eyes snapped open. A dream, it was just a dream. He took a deep gulp of air, and felt his chest tighten with pain. Shit, shit, it wasn't a dream! His ribs were broken and he was in that room still and any second now the knights were going to come in and scream at him for sleeping.

He struggled to sit upright to they wouldn't know he'd been sleeping, and his legs tangled in a blanket. With his mind clouded by a racing heart and terrified confusion, he couldn't figure out how to get the blanket off and flailed his legs madly around. It took almost a minute for him to realize that the knights never gave him a blanket.

He paused, taking another deep breath. It was hard to get air and his chest ached, but it was different from the stabbing pain of broken ribs. His heart slowly calmed down and he leaned against the wall. He was sitting on a cot in a dimly lit basement. Other than the pain in his chest, he didn't actually feel that bad. He put the pieces together and remembered where he was.

His palms rubbed his damp forehead. Shit. He didn't want to think about any of that. Those memories had been shoved to the back of his brain for years, and he'd rather keep them there. It was like he'd picked at a scab and now he could stop the bloody thoughts gushing into his head. No, no, shit, had all that really happened? Raven was right; that had been torture. Fuck, he'd been tortured. Lady Estellise always told him he was exaggerating and she got so upset with him if he mentioned it, so he believed her, but now it was all rushing back and he couldn't deny the reality of what had happened. His hands shook as memories bombarded his mind.

Why would Lady Estellise torture him? She… she was his friend. He trusted her above anyone else. Now that he'd unlocked all these horrible memories, though, he found himself questioning her intentions. Stop that! He couldn't question her! Questioning Lady Estellise was the worst thing a knight could do, and he was a good knight.

He was embarrassed by his outburst last night, but maybe he could use it in his favour. Yes, he'd make the others think they were changing him, but actually he was just going along with them to get out of here. He'd convince them he'd 'seen the light' and then find Lady Estellise and beg her forgiveness for letting himself get captured.

Why do you want to go to Lady Estellise if she's the one who did all those horrible things to you?

He clutched his skull and shook his head. He couldn't think things like that! Thinking things like that was wrong and made him a bad person. If he let those thoughts come back he'd be miserable again. He needed to stay strong and keep his faith in Lady Estellise.

He heard the door unlocking and he tensed, half expecting knights to come in and attack him. Instead it was Yuri, carrying a tray with breakfast. Yuri kicked the door shut behind him and set the tray on the table. "Hungry?"

Flynn stared at the tray uncertainly. He smelled pancakes, but… why were they giving him pancakes?

"Come on, Flynn," Yuri said. "Sit down. We need to talk."

Flynn wasn't sure if he trusted Yuri – he wasn't sure about anything, he realized with horror – but his stomach growled and it would be stupid to turn down pancakes. He hesitantly sat down at the table and Yuri pulled the other chair over. Flynn picked up his fork and looked at the plate before him in confusion. "There's apple in these pancakes."

Yuri frowned. "Do you not still like that?"

Flynn raised his eyes slowly. "I… I don't know. I haven't had apple pancakes since… that last time you made them, I suppose."

"I know they used to be your favourite. I saw apples at the market when I was shopping this morning and I thought of you."

"Oh..." he said, cutting into them. But… no… it didn't make sense. Why was Yuri going out of his way to be nice to him? What did Yuri have to gain from going out of his way to get apples for him? Stop it, stop it, you're questioning Lady Estellise again!

He was so confused. Lady Estellise said he couldn't trust Yuri and that believing in her would make him happy. Now, Yuri said he couldn't trust Lady Estellise and that believing in him would make him happy. He used to believe in justice and defending the innocent, but those beliefs had led him to feeling miserable. Lady Estellise said trusting her would make the pain stop, and it had for a while, but wasn't he miserable now?

Yuri kept saying he'd been brainwashed, but that was ridiculous. His mind wasn't being controlled, he'd simply changed his point of view. The person he was now was the 'real' Flynn, wasn't he? But, now that he thought about it – now that he was allowed to think about it – hadn't he been happy as the old Flynn up until he reached the castle? Was the person he used to be the 'real' Flynn? Who was he, and more importantly, which identity would make him not feel like shit?

"Are you not hungry?" Yuri asked.

He realized he'd been staring at his pancakes for a while, and took a bite before they got any colder. Yuri's apple pancakes were just as delicious as he remembered them being, and they made him think of warm summer mornings in the tiny room they'd shared as teenagers. One time he'd accidentally sliced his hand open trying to cut an apple, and Yuri had mocked him for being so bad at cooking he couldn't even cut an apple properly.

Flynn frowned, chewing slowly. Yuri used to fun of him because he was trying to tear him down, since he was jealous and wasn't really his friend. At least, that explanation fit into his current understanding of the world. Everything was so confusing and he wasn't sure what his view of the world even was, so he tried thinking about the fact that Yuri had spent the last of his pocket money buying an apple gel to close the cut on Flynn's hand, and then continued cutting up the apple to put in the pancakes even though he'd already said he wasn't particularly fond of apple in his pancakes.

Argh, stop this! He needed to stay loyal to Lady Estellise. That had been going so well for him until Yuri got involved. He wished life didn't have to be so confusing.

"So, how do you feel?" Yuri asked.

Flynn finished swallowing, thought for a moment, and decided there was no harm in being honest. "Confused."

"I can understand that," Yuri said. "Look, I brought this." He pushed a book across the table at him and opened it to the bookmarked page. "I know you find it hard to believe you've been brainwashed, but look at the description here. Can you honestly tell me that this isn't pretty close to what Estelle did to you?"

Flynn didn't even want to look at the book. He couldn't deal with anything that might plant more doubt in Lady Estellise. Not that he was worried about that because he trusted her. He did. She was the anchor he'd clung to for years, and he would be even more lost than he already was without her.

When he saw that Flynn wasn't looking, Yuri pulled the book back and read aloud. "'At the first stage, the agent attempts to break down the target's sense of self. He denies everything the target believes about himself and attacks his core belief system'."

Flynn stared at his pancakes, trying not to listen. He didn't want to hear this, he didn't want to doubt Lady Estellise. He wanted to go back to the way things used to be, when he didn't think about all the horrible things that had happened to him.

"'Over the course of days, weeks, or months," Yuri continued, "the agent attempts to induce feelings of guilt and shame in the target. This stage can be heightened with the introduction of mind-clouding techniques such as sleep deprivation, malnutrition, and physical abuse'." Yuri lowered the book and looked up. "I mean, I don't know exactly what happened, but… is that basically what happened?"

"No," Flynn whispered unconvincingly, as vivid memories of precisely what Yuri had described flashed through his mind. He could feel the sick dread, pain, shame, and fear curdling in his stomach like he was locked in that room again.

"I've known you since we were little kids," Yuri said. "I can tell you're not being totally honest."

"I'm not brainwashed," he insisted. That would mean he didn't have free will, and he definitely had free will. He was thinking right now, wasn't he?

"Ok, if you don't like the word, we can call it manipulated," Yuri said. "You asked me last night why this all happened to you. This is why, Flynn. She was manipulating you."

He shook his head slowly, because it was easier than thinking of something to say. He finished his pancakes and set the fork down with a clink.

"Why did you change your ideals?"

"They made me miserable," Flynn said, pushing the plate away.

"How?" Yuri asked. "Explain this to me."

Flynn stared at him and blinked. "They… they did. I didn't understand the purpose of the Knights."

"Oh, yeah? Now that you're so much wiser, educate me."

"The Imperial Knights serve the royal family. We follow orders."

"That's it?" Yuri stared at him incredulously. "Just follow orders without question? Whatever happened to swearing on our swords that we would fight to make people smile?"

Flynn shook his head. "That led to misery."

"How?"

"It just did."

"Admit it," Yuri said, "you have no cause and effect for this. All you know is that Estelle told you that's why you were suffering."

"Isn't that enough?" He crossed his arms and glared across the table at Yuri. He had to admit, this was preferable to when he'd been tied to a chair getting yelled at by Raven or Judith, but he still would rather be back in Zaphias.

Yuri slammed his fist on the table, and Flynn instinctively flinched from the sudden aggressive movement. "No, it damn well isn't! I made the same promise, and it didn't lead to any suffering for me. The only difference is that Estelle decided to lock you up and screw with you."

"I deserved it," he insisted.

"Why?"

"I was wrong."

Yuri sighed in frustration. "Flynn, you're not making any sense. Can't you see all your reasoning is going in circles? You believe things because Estelle told you to, but you only believe in Estelle because of the things she told you."

"She… she's my friend."

"I'm your friend," Yuri said. "We've been friends way longer. Do all those years together mean nothing?"

"If you really cared about me, how come you never tried to visit me in Zaphias?"

"I did," Yuri said simply. "I showed up at the castle loads of times in the first couple months, but the guards always turned me away. You didn't answer any of my letters."

Flynn frowned in confusion. "You didn't send any letters."

"I did so," Yuri said. "Gee, I wonder if Estelle kept them from you?"

Flynn stared at him blankly, swimming in confusion. Everything Yuri said made sense, but then Lady Estellise made sense too. He'd been determined to maintain his loyalty to her, but it felt like admitting that what she'd done was torture had pulled loose a thread and now he struggled to keep it all from unravelling. His whole world had fallen apart in that cell and she'd helped him put it back together again. He didn't want to fall apart all over again.

"It's actually really insulting that you say I don't care about you," Yuri said. "Remember that time when we were sixteen and you got sick? You were so sick."

Flynn grimaced at the memory. "Yes, I remember."

"I kept making you soup but you kept throwing it up. You kept asking for soup, though, because despite it all, you were hungry. We went through so much soup and I think I cleaned most of it off the floor." Yuri laughed. "I told you that you'd have to pay me back the next time I got sick."

Flynn nodded and stared vacantly at the wall behind Yuri as he slowly said, "But then you never got sick, at least until we joined the Knights."

"You still owe me for that."

His eyes flashed back to Yuri. "Like we're not already even from all the times I cleaned up your messes."

"Oh, huh," Yuri said, resting his hand on his chin. "I guess there was that time I tried mixing baking soda and vinegar to see what would happen."

"I recall that. I also recall it made a huge mess, spilled off the counter, and ruined my only pair of shoes."

Yuri laughed. "You were so mad. And then you stole my shoes."

"Your feet were smaller than mine," Flynn said,eyes drifting back to the well as the memory returned to him. "But it was that or go barefoot."

"You made me go barefoot."

"It was your fault I had no shoes."

Yuri chuckled. "Touché." He sighed and leaned back in the chair. "Are you really saying all those memories are fake? That I was using you all along?"

Flynn hung his head. "I… I don't know, Yuri. To be honest, I want to believe you. However, I also want to believe Lady Estellise. Most of all… I just want the world to make sense again." Lady Estellise said that Yuri would lie to him about being friends, and that he'd been doing that all his life. Really, though, he had no logical reason to believe her word over Yuri's.

Yuri leaned forward, scooting his chair closer. "Yeah, ok, and I want to help you with that. You understand now that Estelle tortured you, right?"

"Yes," he said slowly.

"And torture is bad."

"Yes."

Yuri frowned. "I know we were pretty rough on you, too. I'm still not entirely sure if that was justified, but we needed to get through to you. I want to believe that nothing we did was as harsh as what Estelle did."

Flynn swallowed hard. He wasn't ready to forgive Yuri and the others for the past few days just yet. All he could think to say was, "No… it wasn't as harsh." That was true enough. He was exhausted and sore, but they hadn't broken any bones and he wasn't bleeding.

"So how can you remain loyal to someone who did that to you?"

Flynn leaned forward and rested his head in his hands. He closed his eyes, wishing he could go back to sleep. "You can't question loyalty."

"Why not?" Yuri demanded.

"You just can't." Please, please stop pestering him with questions. He didn't want to think about this. He wanted to go back to sleep and then go back to the way things were before when he didn't have to think about what he was doing or things that had happened in the past. Life was so much easier when he could just trust Lady Estellise at face value. "Please leave me alone. I want to go home."

"No can do," Yuri said. "Sorry, Flynn, but if you go back to Estelle now, she's just going to fill you up with bullshit again. We're going to work through this."

Flynn sighed, resigning himself to the fact that Yuri was not going to go away and he was in for another long and painful day, even if the stress came from a new source. He just wished he could figure out if Yuri was doing this because he secretly hated him or because he was actually the best friend he had.

Rita glanced down the hall to double-check she was alone, and then slipped into Estelle's room. She leaned against the door as she closed it behind her, taking a deep breath. Estelle was in a meeting with Ioder, so her room was dark and empty.

Rita shouldn't be here. It was rude to go snooping in other people's rooms, but she needed to get to the bottom of this. She'd thought a lot about her conversation with Ms. Mason yesterday, and decided she needed to get to the bottom of this. Maybe Estelle had been a horrible child, but that didn't mean she couldn't grow out of it, right? She was desperate to find proof that Estelle wasn't what Yuri had said.

She crept across the main room, wondering what she was looking for. She kept glancing at the door, and her heart leapt with every sound.

Geeze, calm down, Rita, she told herself. What was she afraid of? Even if Estelle came back, she'd apologize for coming in without asking and that was that. It wasn't like she was afraid of Estelle. She thought back to Ms. Mason, who'd quit her job and left the castle because she'd been terrified of Estelle at the age of eight. Maybe she should be afraid of Estelle. But… it was Estelle.

Rita opened the drawers of Estelle's desk, looking for any sign of the letters Yuri had told her about. Her hands shook, and when she heard footsteps outside the door she jumped. The footsteps walked on by, though, so she kept searching. After ten minutes of going through Estelle's drawers, she hadn't found anything incriminating. She wasn't sure if she was disappointed in her failure or relieved.

It wouldn't make sense to hide incriminating evidence in the main room, though. Praying Estelle would forgive when she found evidence that this was all a misunderstanding and she'd been stupid to doubt her best friend, Rita crept into Estelle's bedroom. She could barely see anything since the thick curtains kept sunlight from entering the room. Rita pulled them open just enough to see and then started a search of the room.

There was nothing in her wardrobe but dresses and shoes. Rita eyed the dresser, and recalled that she hid her own private things in her drawers so maybe that's where Estelle hid things, too. Five minutes later, all she had to show for her search was a face redder than her shirt and more knowledge than she needed about Estelle's underwear. Estelle was going to be so embarrassed if she found out, Rita thought with guilt squirming around in her stomach.

Why was she even here? What did she expect to find? How could she doubt her best friend like this? She trusted Estelle way more than some random woman who'd worked with her ten years ago. For all Rita knew, Ms. Mason had been fired and made up the whole thing to justify leaving.

She ought to leave now with the firm conclusion that Yuri had made it all up. There was no evidence to suggest Estelle was anything other than her best friend. Yuri was a rotten bastard who'd tried to take advantage of Estelle and was talking out his ass to try to cover himself now. She felt like a moron for even entertaining the idea, and like an even bigger fool for letting herself get attached to the guy. She'd actually worried herself sick when she thought he'd died at Zaude.

Dammit, Rita, trust your instincts. He was a criminal douchebag who broke into your house and treated you like a criminal for days, so why did you go and let him convince you he wasn't really a criminal douchebag? She was going to kick him in the nuts next time she saw him.

Rita was about leave, but noticed a closed cupboard door on Estelle's bedside table. There might be something in there. With her hand on the doorknob, she stared at the nightstand with a frown. No, she'd already decided this was a pointless search. But still… She couldn't force herself through the door. As long as she didn't look, she'd always have to wonder what she might find.

With a sigh and a roll of her eyes, Rita hurried across the room. She'd take a quick peek just to put her mind at ease and then get out of here. She crouched in front of the nightstand and pulled the door open. Unsurprisingly, it was filled with books. There, see? Nothing suspicious, just Estelle keeping books by her bed. Rita had plenty of books on her nightstand, too. In fact, Rita's nightstand was books, in a teetering stack she had always meant to clean up.

She was about to close the cupboard when one of the titles hooked her attention and then reeled her hand forward to get a better look. Her heart pounded in her throat as she stared at the title, desperately trying to rationalize it.

Lifton's Treatise on Thought Reform and Mental Manipulation.

No, no, no, there had to be an innocent reason Estelle had this. Rita gingerly opened the book like it was going to explode, and her dread thickened when she saw dog-eared pages. Dammit, Estelle what have you gotten yourself into?

Rita skimmed the pages that Estelle had marked and felt sick. This was talking about torture and no matter how hard Rita tried she couldn't think of any innocent reason for Estelle to have this. If it was just this book, she'd ignore it, but when it came on top of Ms. Mason's testimony and Yuri's accusations it was a piece of a puzzle that she could no longer ignore.

She slammed the book shut and pressed it against her forehead with her eyes screwed tight. She took a few deep breaths, trying to quell the rising horror. Shit, it was all true, wasn't it? Everything Yuri said… Estelle was the first true friend she'd ever had! How could it be a lie? She loved Estelle so dearly, but Estelle had just been using her.

She shoved the book back where it came from and closed the cupboard door with trembling fingers. This was why she liked blastia more than people, she thought furiously. Blastia had never betrayed her like this.

Rita returned to the hallway, wishing she'd never investigated. She'd been horrified to be told Yuri was an attempted rapist, but confirming this about Estelle felt like a part of her had died. She needed to find Yuri and apologize for doubting him, and maybe spending time with him and Judith and… well, maybe Karol and Raven would convince her that making friends wasn't a wholly terrible idea.

Before she could run off to Dahngrest, she needed to find Ioder. With Flynn gone – and knowing what she did now, she was glad Yuri had gotten him out of here – Ioder was the only one who could do something about Estelle. He hadn't been officially sworn in yet, but he acted as the emperor in all but title. He was the only one with the power to keep Estelle from hurting anyone else.

Rita stormed through the castle in a daze. Her mind was so wrapped up in what she'd learned she barely even noticed when she reached Ioder's study.

"Can I help you, Miss Mordio?" an attendant at the door said.

"Yeah," Rita said roughly, trying to keep her voice level. "I need to talk to Ioder."

The attendant frowned. "Master Ioder is very busy right now. Can you tell me what this is about?"

"It's important," she said. "Just let me through."

"Oh, hello, Rita!"

Rita's blood ran cold as she heard that familiar cheerful voice. She slowly turned and forced a smile. "O-oh! Hi, Estelle."

"Are you trying to see Ioder?"

"Uh… yeah," Rita said. "I just wanted to talk to him about a thing."

"I was going to see him, too," she said. "We can go in together."

Rita shrugged, trying to play it cool. "Oh, nah, it's not really the important. If he's busy I'll just talk to him later."

"Oh…" Estelle stared at her, her lips squeezing together slightly the way they did when she was thinking something over.

Crap, could Estelle read Rita as well as she could read her? Or thought she could read her, she reminded herself grimly. Could she tell that Rita knew? Rita tried to meet her eyes evenly and not give away that she thought any different of her. She didn't think it was too hard, because now that she saw Estelle in person, it was hard to believe what she'd learned. When Rita looked at her, she just saw Estelle, friendly, goofy, perky Estelle whom Rita cared more about than any other person she'd ever met.

She needed to get out of here. If she spent any more time around Estelle, her affection might get in the way of the scientific evidence she'd gathered. "I need to go," Rita said.

"Ok, Rita," Estelle said. "Let me know if I can help you get a meeting with Ioder."

"Yeah, thanks." Crap. She knew. She had to know, or else that last comment wouldn't have carried the implication that Rita wouldn't be getting any chance to meet with Ioder if it wasn't through her. What was she supposed to do now?

She needed to get to Dahngrest. She had enough money to buy transport to Dahngrest, so she'd get going before Estelle had a chance to confirm Rita was on to her and act against her. She hurried toward her room to pack her things, hardly able to believe she was running away from Estelle.

It was evening, and Estelle was trying to find Rita. Usually Estelle met Rita at her room before they went to dinner, but Estelle had knocked on Rita's door and she hadn't answered. This was annoying; it was so much less boring eat dinner with Rita to talk to. She had already checked the library, and couldn't think of anywhere else to look for Rita.

"Excuse me," she said to a servant in the hallway, "have you seen Rita Mordio?"

The young woman thought for a moment, and then nodded. "Oh, yes, I heard she left town."

Estelle frowned. "Left town? Where did she go?"

"She had business in Halure. Something to do with blastia, I think."

"Oh, I see," Estelle said. Yes, that sounded like Rita. Running off to do science without warning. She supposed Rita had been worrying about it this afternoon, which explained her odd behaviour trying to talk to Ioder. She was relieved; she'd been worried Rita had discovered that Yuri was telling the truth. "Thank you for telling me."

She made her way back to her room, disappointed that she'd have to eat dinner alone. How boring. At the very least, she supposed her time in the castle now wasn't nearly as boring as it used to be. She knew she could leave whenever she wanted without having to concoct some wild scheme to get past the overbearing Council. It was just a shame Yuri had to go poking and learned her secret.

She'd spent most of the afternoon trying to convince Ioder to send knights into Dahngrest to recover Flynn. He insisted that they had no hard evidence Flynn was there and it wasn't worth sparking a war. He also claimed that if Flynn had been taken by Yuri and the others, then even though he didn't understand Yuri's motives he trusted Flynn wasn't in pressing danger. That wasn't good enough for Estelle. If Ioder wouldn't authorize it, she'd have to convince Sodia to lead the knights on her own. Sodia was much easier to convince to do something reckless for Flynn's sake. In any case, Estelle needed to get Flynn back before Yuri did something stupid and broke her favourite toy.

Back in her room, she went into her bedroom to get changed for dinner. When she walked in, she paused. There was something not quite right. She frowned, looking around her room. The closet door and dresser drawers were all closed, the bed was still made, there was nothing on the floor… She must be imagining it.

She crossed to the closet, but when she walked through a beam of fading sunlight she paused and slowly turned her head to the curtain. She had not left the curtains open. She specifically remembered pulling them closed this morning. Someone had been in her room.

Estelle hurried around her bed to the nightstand. Already sure what she'd find, she opened the cupboard and found her books. Sure enough, the one she'd used as a guide for Flynn was in a different position, clumsily shoved back on the shelf. Rita.

She slammed the cupboard door shut and sat on the edge of the bed in a huff. How dare she snoop around her room?! Rita was supposed to be her friend! Now Rita had run off to 'Halure' – as if. Estelle would bet all the gold in the treasury she'd run off to Dahngrest to find Yuri.

This was getting dangerous. Too many people in Dahngrest were finding out, and it wouldn't be long before someone got through to Ioder. If he found out, her plans to rule the empire from behind the throne, out of the limelight, would be ruined. Damn it all to hell, her only choice now was to just become the empress herself and remove Ioder from the equation. What a pain; now she was going to have to assassinate him.