What is this?! An update?

Yes, it is! Finally!

I'm sorry for the wait, but I'm in Greece on my boat and writing isn't easy... And neither is publishing...

Uhm, anyway. I'm sure the last chapter left you confused... At least it left me confused. So, here comes the explanation in something akin to Merlin's POV! The fourth chapter!

Unknowingly to Arthur, who had just blindly guessed, Merlin was having nightmares.

As his body fought against the fever, his mind was overcome by dreams. More specifically, some of them were nightmares - Arthur hating him, Arthur burning him, Arthur killing him, or the worst, Arthur dying - and others were happy dreams - Arthur accepting his magic, Morgana not betraying Camelot, his father being alive, Arthur accepting his magic!

And then came the last - which was neither a nightmare nor a dream.

Merlin was floating in darkness.

He didn't know where he was, or how he had ended up in that Godforsaken place, or even if he was still alive. He couldn't feel anything but his magic, humming softly in his weightless body.

He opened his eyes, and noticed for the first time a tiny sphere of golden light, gently hovering before him. He extended his hand to touch it, and was pleasantly surprised by the warmth that the light emanated. It was wonderful, it was like touching the very essence of Magic, so pure and raw, powerful yet gentle... Was that light his own magic? It was breathtaking.

"Merlin", an ethereal voice whispered, startling him and pulling him out of his reverie.

He turned around, finding a dark-haired woman with pale skin and sweet chocolate eyes looking at him, her lips pulled into a fond and nostalgic smile. "Freya," he murmured reverently. "Is it really you? What is this place?"

The woman inched closer to him, placing a gentle hand on his cheek. "Merlin, we do not have long. We are inside your mind - or should I say, inside you. I am here to warn you; Arthur will soon know of your magic. It is the punishment of the Triple Goddess for defying her," she explained, her kind eyes clouded with concern.

Merlin's brow furrowed in confusion. "But... Isn't Mordred being alive enough of a punishment?" he inquired, fear and dread crawling at his heart.

Freya shook her head. "That is Arthur's punishment. This is yours. Your secret is about to come out, and the weight of handling the consequences lays upon your shoulders."

The warlock was at a loss and swallowed the lump in his throat. "What can I do?" he choked out, suddenly feeling cold.

The woman shook her head, sighing. "I am sorry. I cannot help you with that. There is... something else you should know," she began, stopping to bite her lip. "The knife which hurt you, the one the queen wanted to kill Arthur with... It was given to her by Morgana. It was cursed by dark magic; no living being - mortal or not, magical or non-magical - can survive its touch, not even you. I am sorry, but... there is no way to save you."

Her words were like a punch in his gut; it wasn't everyday that he had to face so many shocking revelations, but that one probably overcome every other. "I'm... dying?"

She stroked his face comfortingly, a tear slipping out of her eye. "I am so sorry, Merlin," she whispered.

He placed his hand in hers, intertwining their fingers and desperately seeking comfort. He closed his eyes, knowing he had to be strong. "And how can I protect Arthur, if I am to die?"

Freya squeezed his fingers when she noticed the slight tremble in his voice. "Do you know what 'Emrys', your name, means? In the language of the Druids, it means 'to ever live'. That was what you were destined to do; after Arthur died, you should have lived forever, waiting for him until he came back-"

Merlin interrupted her with a choked gasp. "I was destined to be immortal?" he inquired, unbelieving.

She nodded, a lump forming in her throat when she saw the horror in his blue eyes. "Morgana has dwelled with things she cannot possibly understand, and that has caused a change in Destiny itself. You will join me in Avalon, Merlin, but fear not - for that day will come when everything is over, when Arthur does not need you anymore."

He looked at her and closed his eyes to hide the tears that threatened to fall. "What happens, now?" he whispered softly, slightly comforted by Freya's presence.

The woman stroked his dark hair. "I am going to give you some of the Sidhe's magic. It will keep you alive for as long as it is needed. Your body will heal, more quickly than it should, but you have to remember that your time is counted. I cannot do more than this."

He nodded and embraced her tenderly, still dazed. "It's alright. Thank you. You don't know how much I'm grateful for your help," he said, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "Just tell me one more thing; what will be Mordred's role in all of this?"

She untangled herself from his grip and stared into his eyes. "His destiny is to kill Arthur, and it has not changed. It is yours that is shifting, Merlin, and believe me when I say that it might not be for the worst."

He knew what she meant; he should have been immortal, and the fact that he wouldn't be wasn't a small mercy. Immortality was a curse in his eyes, a fate worse than death - having to watch everyone he loved die... He couldn't, for the life of him, imagine how anyone could live with a burden like that.

He opened his mouth to ask something more, when the golden light he had seen after his awakening began to glow brightly, until it overshadowed the darkness surrounding him. "Freya!" he yelled, having to cover his eyes from the bright light. "Freya!"

Her voice was the last thing he heard before he was dragged into oblivion.

"Good luck, Merlin."

Merlin whipped up in his bed with a yell, his eyes flashing bright gold. He heard the sound of glass shattering and a woman's voice yelping, frightened by something. He looked around the room, confused, trying to gather his surroundings, aware of the fact that he had just used magic.

When he locked eyes with a familiar-looking blond man, his horrified expression blended with the words of the woman in his dream and he gasped, panicking. He bolted out of bed, overwhelmed by an inexplicable fear, and crawled backwards until his back was pressed on the wall.

His eyes were staring into nothingness as the blonde's face flashed again in his mind, and something emerged into his memories.

Immortal. He was immortal.

That was the only thing that was clear to him, and in the haziness of his fever, he didn't completely remember Freya's words or understand why Arthur was shocked. He didn't think twice about the fact that he was lucky to be alive, or that he wasn't immortal anymore, or that the king had just found out that he had magic.

Immortal.

Why wasn't anyone helping him? He didn't want to live forever! He was scared, and no one would help him... Why wasn't anyone helping him?

"I'm a monster," were the words that left his lips. "I'm a monster..."

He felt the strength leave him, and he knew no more.

Ah, Freylin. *sighs dreamily*

I don't know why, but Freya always manages to appear in my stories. Well, she's doesn't speak in riddles as Kilgharrah does.

So, I hope it wasn't too confusing. And if Merlin's line of thoughts seems strange, remember that he has a fever and he's confused and scared.

Oh, and this chapter was slightly longer than the others! *dances happily*

Thanks to everyone who reviewed/favorited/followed! I love you all!

(08/06/2013)