"Let's go to the beach today!" Quil wakes me up by bouncing on the bed.
"Or let's sleep all day." I counter suggest. Lacy sleeps through the night most nights now but last night was not most nights.
"Come on babe the weather is perfect, Lacy will love it!" He tries.
"She loves sparkly things and crackers too. So give her a mirror and some goldfish and let me sleep." I snap.
"Are you OK Bells?" He asks concerned, I guess I'm not usually a bitch, which is probably a good thing.
"I'm just tired. I'm sorry. We can go, just give me a few minutes to wake up." I mumble.
"You're sure? If you want I could just take Lacy to my mom's for the day so you can rest?" Now I feel bad because he was so excited a few minutes ago.
"No, it will be fun. Sun will be good for me probably." He leans down to kiss me then leaves to get Lacy ready.
I wake up two hours later rested and guilty. I get up to find Quil and find him and Lacy in the backyard lying on a blanket together. I sit down next to them and Lacy smiles and climbs into my lap.
"I'm so sorry." I tell him.
"Don't worry about it, you were obviously exhausted. You feel better now?" He asks and I tell him I do actually, a lot better.
"We can still go. She probably needs a nap but then we can go. I can pack us lunch and we can have a picnic." He says yeah that sounds good and we should invite Jake and Embry too.
"Jake accused me of locking you in a tower and refusing to let you out to see him." He laughs and I roll my eyes.
"Right, because he can't come by every day while I'm here not having a life." I say bitterly and his face falls. "Oh baby I didn't mean it like that. I love staying home with her; it's just that I never get to see anyone but you. I feel like Jake and Embry don't care about me anymore and I'm so tired because she's constantly into stuff and then when she finally naps I'm trying to clean the house and then start dinner and then you come home and she goes to bed and then I want to stay up with you because I miss you which is stupid because we both worked before but now I'm just here waiting and waiting."
"Bells, you have to tell me these things. I mean you don't have to but I don't know unless you talk to me. Jake and Embry both love you very much, we're just the first ones with a kid so I think they don't know how to be but they miss you. And I don't give a damn if the house is clean or if you ever make dinner. I like cereal and I also know how to cook, not as good as you but decent. I can clean too. If you're tired when she naps then sleep. We don't have to go today; we can do anything you want."
"I want to go. I miss Jake and Embry. I'm going to put her down for her nap. She usually only sleeps for about an hour." I pick her up and put her down for her nap. She's usually a very easy baby and she goes right down. Quil is still outside so I make a waffle and go sit outside with him.
We talk about what we need to take to the beach and then we just lie on the blanket and watch the clouds go by until I hear Lacy on the baby monitor. We pack some food and lots of water and a big blanket.
Once we get there I start to regret it, how much fun is this going to be with a 9 month old? Jake and Embry are already there and they run up to me.
"You're alive!" Jake jokes. "I thought Quil killed you. But seriously I've missed you."
"I'm always home Jake, just stop by anytime." Quil looks at me to see if I'm going to break down but I don't.
We set up the blanket and I sit down intending to stay with Lacy while Quil hangs out with the boys.
"Bells, let's go swimming." He says as soon as I sit down and I look at him like seriously? No.
"Lacy can't swim."
"Oh yeah I forgot." He says sarcastically.
"I don't really want to go swimming I just want to chill out in the sun." I pout.
"OK but I'm taking Lacy." I start to tell him no I but don't. So he takes her into the water way farther than I like with Jake and Embry.
"You trust him?" Some girl sits next to me and asks.
"Why wouldn't I?" I snap at her. Even if I don't like how far out he is with her I trust him with Lacy 100%.
"I'm sorry, it's just I've heard so many stories about him." She says.
"Oh well yeah, he's done some stupid shit but with her he's different. He would never let her get hurt." I tell her a little less bitchy because in her defense he has done some really stupid shit. And it wasn't all like back in the day; it was like a year ago for some of it. Usually Jake and Embry are involved.
"I'm sorry." She says again.
"Don't worry about it. I know what people think and honestly I was terrified when I got pregnant for those same reasons. Anyways how do you know him?" I don't even know this girl, I talk too much.
"My husband graduated from his high school 2 years before so he saw a lot of it, heard a lot more. I lived in the next town over but if would tell me all about his latest thing. He was popular." She laughs.
"Yeah I was there for some of that unfortunately. Trying to be the voice of reason for 3 teenage boys doesn't really work. I'm Bella by the way." I tell her.
"I know. Trust me we've all heard about your perfect sunset wedding." She smiles. "I'm Emily that over there is Sam, my husband." She points across the beach to a man setting up a fire.
"Who is we?" I ask her curiously.
"Oh I'm sorry it must seem like I gossip all the time, I mean my best friend Kim and my cousin Leah. They were supposed to be here today but Kim's little girl got sick and Leah's boyfriend just broke up with her so she's being antisocial. We don't really gossip it's just when you moved to town you were new, and Leah knows Jacob and we all thought he wanted you then you date his best friend, then marry him in the most romantic wedding ever and then have a baby. Yeah we do gossip. I'm so sorry. I'm going to go help Sam."
"Hey don't worry about it. I get the whole small town gossip thing. I don't actually do it because it's a girl thing and I only have guy friends but I get it." I tell her and she smiles at me.
"You're really nice." She tells me and I say thank you I think.
Sam comes over and introduces himself and then sits down next to us and they are very easy to get along with.
The boys come back and I take Lacy and dry her off as they introduce themselves to Emily and Sam.
"Did she have fun?" I ask Quil.
"Loved it, was laughing and babbling and trying to throw herself out of my arms into the water. I'll take her back in a little while; do you want to go out?"
"Not right now, why don't you go with Jake and Embry while I hang out with Lacy then we can all go out later."
So all three plus Sam go out leaving me with Lacy and Emily.
"She's adorable Bella, what's it like to be a mom?" She asks and I tell her it's hard to explain.
"It's like somedays I feel like such a great mom and sometimes I feel like a little girl playing house. I love her so much, more than I thought possible. That part is impossible to explain. Do you want kids?" I ask her and she says yes they are trying now.
"Well that's good, we weren't trying, I didn't even know if I wanted kids. I was so scared when I found out. But Quil is like… fearless when it comes to anything and Lacy was no different. I've always been a worrier but he makes it so easy think everything is going to be fine. Like when I was scared to stay home with her." I'm just going on and on to Emily which is so weird for me.
The guys come back and we have lunch with Sam and Emily.
Quil holds Lacy and feeds her bites of food until she's done and she's crawling around the blanket, she's at that age where she loves everyone.
After lunch we both take Lacy into the water and he's right she loves it. She's laughs every time the water splashes her and she does keep trying to jump out of our arms. I have to let Quil hold her because I'm afraid I'm going to drop her.
"Thanks for dragging me out today." I tell him and he laughs and says I came completely willingly.
Lacy finally gets tired of the water and starts crying so we take her back and pack up. I get Emily's # and we set a lunch date for the next week.
"I had fun today." I tell him that night after Lacy is in bed.
"I know you did. I knew you would when I pissed you off this morning. I know you."
I smack him and he kisses me.