Chapter two

"Fuck this" Frank mumbled as he walked back home. He didn't want Bob to be mad at him, let alone hate him. Bob was his best friend, and he only tried to talk him out of something dangerous. But he didn't understand. No, Bob didn't regret his decision like Frank did. Bob didn't want to go back to earth, but that didn't mean Frank couldn't, right? Lately, earth was the only thing Frank thought about, the only thing he dreamed about, and the only thing he wanted. Sure, there were consequences, but it was worth it. Or was it? Would Bob even want to talk to him after he did this? What if he didn't find someone that loves him? What if the earth was nothing like it was when he left it, years ago? There were so many 'what if'-s and Frank hated it.

As soon as Frank entered his home, tears formed, and ran down his cheeks. 'This so wasn't what I imagined being an angel was like' Frank thought making his way through the living room and up to his room. When the lock clicked he fell to the floor, feeling his anger run down his cheeks. "Why does Bob care anyway!?" Frank yelled in frustration, he knew the answer well though. Bob was his best friend, damnit; he had every reason to care. But with a mind clouded with anger and sadness nothing made sense. Why did he even become an angel in the first place? Why didn't he live happily as an angel as everyone else did? Frank did nothing to stop the tears, or the frequent sobs.

What seemed like hours later, Frank pulled himself off the floor with a sigh. His back hurt, and he had a killer head ache from all the crying. Lacking of something better, Frank drank some water and went outside to breathe some fresh air. It didn't do much for the head ache at all but Frank liked believing that it did; kind of forming a placebo effect. His mind slowly became clearer, and Frank realized that maybe what he really needed was to talk this through with Bob, and chase his dreams back to earth? Or maybe… he could talk to someone else.

He made a list of people he could talk to in his mind. Brian, Ray, he could pray, but people rarely got answered. He decided to take a deep breath and stretch his back first, lying on the floor was nice when you were doing it, but it sucks when you get up.

"Ray, be prepared 'cause I'm gonna bust through your door soon." he mumbled to himself as he spread his wings and took off on a running start.

Soon, he was standing outside Ray's house, knocking on the door. He let out a shaky breath and prepared himself. It wasn't often angels fell, at least not on purpose. Ray probably wouldn't freak out like Bob had, but try to talk more about it.

Ray opened the door with a grin, "Hiya Frank!" He always seemed so happy to see his friends. "Hey, um, can I come in?" Frank asked, a little nervous. "Yeah, is something wrong?" Ray asked, he looked really concerned Frank thought to himself. "I, uh would say that" Frank replied, "It's more me being a reckless bastard I guess" he added, as a grin spread across his face. "This is the Frank I know" Ray laughed before opening the door wider so Frank could step inside.

Rays house was always warm, and welcoming, with a smell that couldn't be described in any other way than… Ray. His house was clean, and tidy, as a contrast to Franks. It was a little bit bigger as well, but nicely decorated, something Frank never quite understood because didn't enjoy decorating at all. His house had the standard rooms for houses in heaven; you get a living room, a bath, one or two bed rooms, a kitchen and a room that you can use to whatever you want. Ray had used the last one as a music room, filled with instruments and amps; Frank liked it there.

Ray snapped his fingers in front of Frank's eyes, making Frank jump in surprise. "You spaced out" Ray said, laughter sparkling in his eyes. "Oh, huh" Frank said as he dropped himself onto the comfortable sofa. Ray sat beside his friend, "you wanted to talk about something?" he asked innocently, not knowing Frank was thinking about falling. "Uh yeah, it's quite serious actually" Frank started. Ray awkwardly patted Frank's shoulder saying "You can tell me everything, you know."

"I want to fall. I regret becoming an angel, and I'm sick of the perfect life in heaven. There's not a day when I don't break down in tears, wishing to go back. I told this to Bob yesterday, and he got really mad and started yelling at me, before trying to talk me out of it. My mind is making up new 'what if'-s every passing second, and I'm having serious second thoughts but in the end I do, actually, want to fall." Frank's words spilled out of his mouth and he couldn't have stopped them even if he tried.

Ray looked even paler than usual, and Frank could have sworn he saw his eyes widen. His mouth was slightly open and surprise was pretty much written on his face. "I uh… oh my goodness" Ray stuttered, clearly lacking words to form a sentence. Frank dropped his gaze to his lap, and waited for Ray to respond with actual words.

"Why?" Ray whispered breaking the uncomfortable silence. "I'm tired of this life, Ray. It's dangerous down on earth, and I like it that way. It reminds me that I'm actually living, and I haven't felt that in a while now. God damnit Ray, I've been up here in almost ten years now and I'm still nineteen years old, not a day older than I was when I came here. I'm just really sick of this, and I think spending the fall on earth will change that."

Frank put so much emotion in those words, because he really meant what he said. He was sick of heaven and he did think spending some time on earth would make things better. A simple word escaped Ray's lips. "Okay." "Okay?" Frank questioned Ray's weird behaviour. Usually Ray would be talking about responsibility and all that shit now, but he was silent; except that little word. Okay.
"Yeah, okay. If you really think spending your favourite season of the year on earth, then do so. Just be careful and look after yourself, okay? Because I don't want my friends dying, you know." Frank didn't even know he had moved until he felt his arms wrap Ray into a hug, "thanks, dude" Frank said, smiling to himself. "But Frank?" Ray said, sitting back in the couch again. "Yeah?" the younger one answered. "I think you should talk to Virgin Mary about it, I really think she has some good advice" Ray said with a mocking wink. "Yeah, I guess she does" Frank said with a grin. "We'll it was nice seeing you again Ray, I'll be looking for Virgin Mary now" Frank said and laughed as he rose from the couch. "Do so! See you later?" Ray asked from his spot in the sofa. "Sure" Franks replied as he walked out of the house, closing the door behind him.

Frank went around, calling for Virgin Mary in his head. It was this weird thing people of a higher status had, you could say a prayer and it was like a psychic call. It was still weird for Frank, even after all those years.

"Frank." A kind voice spoke. There she is, Frank thought. He turned around to face her. Long brown hair and a girly round face. "Um, hi," Frank spoke. "I need to ask you a few questions..." He hesitated for a few seconds until Virgin Mary nodded in a way as if to say 'go ahead, I'm listening.' which was exactly what she said.

"I want to know how it works again, the process of falling." Frank spoke quickly. Virgin Mary was wearing a slightly shocked expression. She nodded before saying "It has been decades since someone last wanted to fall on purpose. Are you sure?" her voice had a twang of worry to it. She spoke calmly, but it sounded clear as the day. "Yes, it's all I want right now. I need to know how it works again." Frank nodded just like Virgin Mary had. "Very well, child" She spoke. It was kind of weird using the word child to a nineteen year old, but Frank guessed every angel was Virgin Mary's child.

"First of all, you have to understand that falling is extremely dangerous and not many angels make it back, Frank" She started, her voice so soft that it was almost difficult to focus on the words. Frank nodded, he knew that it was dangerous but he was pretty nervous. "If you fall, you visit earth you have to stay there for one full season, do you understand?" Frank nodded again, not really knowing how to respond to anything. "If you want to remain on earth you must make a person fall in love with you, and you cannot tell them that you are an angel, of course. However, if you want to take that person with you to heaven you have to lie, you must only tell them that you're an angel when they are ready to follow you to hell you can tell the truth." Frank didn't really respond to that, he was a little lost in thoughts. "Your wings will be removed before you enter earth, and you do not get them back until you come back. And it hurts, there's no use lying about it."

"So, child, you no longer feel at home in Heaven, is that correct?" Virgin Mary asked, her expression hinting confusion. "There have been only very few people who have felt the same way you do. Even fewer got through with falling." Frank bit on the inside of his cheek. He knew the odds of someone falling in love with him alone were slim, but the idea that someone would want to go to hell just to be with him, almost made him laugh.

"When you are on Earth you should act as if you are human, only when you think you have found someone who you would want to spend your days with, you can tell them your 'secret' and ask if they would love you forever, and would be willing to spend that forever with you in hell."
Frank nodded. "I understand, thank you." He shuffled from foot to foot a bit and was just about to move away when Virgin Mary spoke up again.

"Do you want to fall now?" she asked. Frank considered saying yes, but he knew he would need a night to think about a decision like that.

"No, I would like to prepare myself for this. I will summon you tomorrow." Frank mumbled. Virgin Mary shook her head. She drew in a breath before saying "I will wait for your call, Frank."