Chapter Ten: Opening the Box

"I was only at the castle for about three days," Flynn said, looking at his hands in his lap. "I had been so excited to get that promotion. It meant that someone higher up had noticed how hard I worked, and I was really moving up in the ranks. Everything was going so well." He laughed hollowly, which seemed more creepy than mirthful. "I should have known better than to think nothing bad would happen."

Yuri watched him with a serious expression, not saying a word. He got the feeling that this wasn't a conversation and Flynn didn't need him to interrupt with encouraging platitudes every few lines. What Flynn needed was someone who would sit quietly and give him an outlet for all the crap stewing in his mind and not judge him, and Yuri would be whatever was needed of him.

"They told me I was probably going to be placed in the Schwann Brigade. Can you imagine? I'd only been in the Knights for about a year, and I was already a lieutenant and might get placed in the most prestigious brigade. I felt guilty that I hadn't gone down to the lower quarter to visit any of you yet, but everything was happening so fast. I was even excited because my first day there I ran into the princess and…" he trailed off as his eyes widened in horror, and then he pulled his knees to his chest.

"Oh… oh no… that's the only time I met her and… that must have been when she picked me. How else would she have even known I existed? If I hadn't bumped into her…" He buried his face in his hands. "None of this would have happened. I – I must have said something during our five minute conversation that made her think I would be a good subject. If I hadn't gotten lost my first day there, then I…"

This little revelation could use some encouraging words, though. Yuri remembered what Judith had said about the Adephagos, and said, "What happened, happened. You can't let yourself dwell on what-ifs."

"But… but it might never have happened. It's my fault I got lost and my fault I said something to her…" He leaned forward and clutched his head. "If I hadn't been such an idiot this never would have-"

"Whoa, slow down, there." Yuri hesitated, not sure if he should touch Flynn or not. He opted to not. Flynn wasn't looking at him and wouldn't see Yuri's hands coming, and surprise touches freaked him out. "You did nothing wrong, alright?

Flynn raised his head and looked to him with pained eyes. "But I-"

"You were in the wrong place at the wrong time. Believe me, I know how that feels. It's not your fault."

Flynn took a deep breath and steeled himself. "I guess… you're right, of course. I just… if that day had gone just slightly differently…" He sighed again. "It's the past. There's no point wishing it didn't happen."

"Go on," Yuri said. "I didn't mean to interrupt."

"Right… on my third day, I got called into Alexei's office. I was told I'd been selected for a special program working with the princess and I was so excited. Alexei said it required special training, but then when I went to report for training…"

His eyes narrowed as he stared at the wall ahead of him. "Without any explanation, the Royal Guard shoved me into a windowless cell. They didn't tell me any charges or give me a trial or anything. They left me there for several days. From this point on, I can't tell you exact time frames because I had no way to keep track of time in there. All I know is that I was certain they'd somehow forgotten about me and that when someone finally came back I was starving and delirious from thirst.

"And then… that's when it started. It was always knights from the Royal Guard. I never saw their faces but their voices…" He closed his eyes for a second and failed to repress a shudder. "I'd remember them if I heard them."

Flynn looked to Yuri as a sudden thought struck him, "Do you think it's possible any of them transferred out of the Royal Guard before Alexei's coup?"

Yuri was taken aback by this sudden question. "I… guess? I don't know, they might have been. Probably not very many, but it's possible."

"But that means… that means that some of them may be serving under me right now." His face constricted with horror and shame. "S-some of my knights have seen me…"

Yuri kicked himself for accidentally confirming Flynn's fear. "I said not very many, if any," he said quickly. "I mean, the Royal Guard is as high up as you can go, right? So I doubt anyone would get transferred out of it, and probably not the ones Alexei trusted enough for… this."

Flynn seemed somewhat pacified by this news. "Yes, that's true. Thanks."

"Yeah, sure."

"As I was saying, it was the Royal Guard. At first, they just mocked me. They belittled everything I did, like insulting my military record or suggesting that I…" his nose wrinkled as he thought of it, "that I must have slept with someone to get my promotion because there was no way I could have gotten it on my own. They even criticized stupid things, like that I ate too slow or that I had stupid hair. I almost thought it was funny at first."

Ordinarily Yuri would have made a comment that Flynn's hair was indeed pretty stupid because it stuck out in all directions and he could never get it to sit flat. He had those bangs that grew too longer around his face and got in his eyes sometimes, but he never got around to trimming them. He didn't want to say anything that agreed with the torturers, though, even if it was something they used to be able to joke about.

In fact, it would probably be a long time before either of them were comfortable with Yuri teasing him about anything. If making fun of him for stupid little things reminded Flynn of being tortured, there was no way Yuri could tease him. It was frustrating to think that even years later, such a basic aspect of their relationship had been ruined by this. In the grand scheme of things, losing the ability to make fun of Flynn was far from a huge problem, but losing the little things made it feel all the more personal and insulting.

"I was so angry for the first couple of weeks," Flynn said, brow creasing with remembered fury. "They wouldn't tell me why I was being incarcerated or why they were mocking me. I tried to ask, but every time I spoke back… that's when the physical abuse started. They beat me whenever I protested their accusations, which was frequent. Sometimes I went along with them just because I didn't see a point in fighting over whether or not my hair was dumb. Other times I shouted back just because I was pissed and didn't want to take it sitting down any more."

That was easy to imagine. Flynn, exhausted and in pain but using every ounce of energy he had left to shout his fury at his captors because he wasn't the sort to take this lying down. Yuri wished he had been there, not only to rip those bastards to pieces himself, but also to hear the kinds of insults Flynn must have thrown at them.

Flynn sighed and leaned his head against the wall. He stared up at the stormy clouds and spoke in a slow, steady voice. "It was stupid. I shouldn't have wasted my energy. By the end of the second month I'd used up all my fire and I just wanted it to be over. They kept telling me I was wrong. My beliefs were wrong, my ideology was wrong, everything about me was wrong, and then made me agree with them and say it myself. I didn't think much of it at first, because after the first couple of months, when I'd used up all my energy to fight back, I figured there was no harm in going along with them. Just because I said it didn't mean I believed it, and if all it took to get them to stop hurting me was to say 'yeah, of course I'm a terrible knight', that was easy. The thing is, if someone tells you that you're a piece of crap all day for months on end… eventually you start to believe it. Agreeing with them became painful because I felt like I was betraying myself, like me saying it made it true.

"They made me feel guilty. I don't even know what I was guilty of, but they told me it was my fault and that I should be ashamed and after a while it sunk in. I didn't know why I felt guilty or what specifically made me pathetic, just that I was and I felt horrible. Throughout all this, I barely ever got food or water or proper sleep. Eventually they started physically torturing me even when I didn't talk back, and then mocked me for how I reacted to that. They beat me. They burned me. They broke my bones. It all hurt, so badly, and I didn't even know why it was h-happening to me." For the first time his voice trembled, and he had to take a minute to take deep breaths and recompose himself.

Yuri struggled to keep from commenting. He had so many scathing remarks he wanted to make about the bastards who did this, but he'd save them for later.

Flynn's emotionless face filled with regret. "My life before imprisonment blurred and my entire world narrowed to that one awful room. The only frame of reference I had for what was the truth was my own increasingly unstable mind and Estelle's words. I hope you can understand, then, why she seemed like an angel. After about three months she started coming in sometimes. She would heal my wounds and give me cold water and say sweet things to me. She was so gentle and after the harshness of everything else I just… I thought she would save me.

Yuri nodded slowly. "Yeah. I get it." He hated it, but he understood it. He needed Flynn to know that, too. As much as he wanted to rage about it, he didn't want to risk Flynn misinterpreting his rage at Estelle for anger with Flynn for falling for it so he reined it in.

"Estelle told me it was my beliefs making me miserable. She told me I deserved the pain because I was a bad person. I didn't believe her at first. I was confused. I spent most of those ten months terribly confused, really. I trusted her, but I also disagreed with her views. I wanted to repay her for healing me, but I also wanted to ask why she was allowing this to happen if she cared about me. I did ask her once." His eyes glazed over and he started rubbing his shins. In a voice like he was reading a textbook, he said, "She reprimanded me for asking a 'stupid question'. Then she told me I would need to be punished for questioning and left the room. Then the knights broke my legs."

He stared straight ahead and rubbed his legs like they were physically in pain. Fearing another flashback like the one on the street, Yuri carefully said, "Hey, it's alright; that was years ago. Your legs aren't broken now. You're fine."

Flynn blinked a couple of times, and then looked to him and dropped his hands. "Uh… right. Right, sorry. I just…"

"It's fine."

Flynn hung his head. "Thanks."

"You don't have to keep going if you don't want to," Yuri said.

Flynn shook his head without raising it. "No, I need to get this out. It – it hurts. It's like ripping off a bandage, though. I need to get this out and I would rather not let it trickle out slowly."

"If you're sure," Yuri said.

"After the episode with my legs… and Estelle didn't come back to heal them for two weeks… I never questioned her again. At first it was out of fear, then out of habit, until it just became natural." He loosened his legs and let himself sit more comfortably. "Damn, Yuri… so many things happened. It wasn't every day – sometimes they left me alone for a while like the first few days. I was torn between praying they would come back to me and give me food or water, and praying they forgot about me and would leave me to finally die. But between those times…" He squeezed his eyes shut. "The things they did to break my resolve..."

He took a deep, shuddering breath. He was silent for a over a minute, staring at the wall with concentration. He was clearly warring over whether to say this next part, and Yuri wasn't sure what he should do. He ended up sitting silently and waiting for Flynn to speak first.

Flynn met Yuri's eyes. "Yuri… I want to tell you what happened because I just can't handle letting this fester in my head."

Yuri nodded. "Yeah, that's what you've been doing. You can keep going as long as you like."

"Everyone already knows that I was… tortured," he struggled to get the word out. "But this next part… please don't tell anyone." His breath caught in his throat and he squeezed his eyes shut. "I couldn't bear for anyone else to know. They'd… they'd look at me differently."

Yuri was fairly certain that none of his friends would look at Flynn differently no matter what had happened to him, but he nodded anyway. "Yeah, of course. I won't tell anyone anything you don't want me to."

Flynn opened his eyes and nodded slowly. "Ok… well… one time… though this was just the first of many… I don't know what happened, but I snapped. This was after about five months, I think, and I was so disoriented and in so much pain. I knew I was wrong and guilty and I felt like shit but I didn't know why, and my arm was broken in two places on top of other bruises, and then the guy kicked me and told me to confess to being a terrible knight. I snapped and I launched at him and I tried to strangle him."

Yuri smiled slightly, eager to find any bright point in this awful testimony. "Way to go."

A dark smirk played across Flynn's lips. "I think I might have been successful if my arm wasn't broken, which made it easy for his friend to pry me off. They threw me to the ground and I just laughed and laughed. No clue what was so funny. I think I might have been channelling you."

"You kidding?" Yuri said to the smirk on Flynn's face, trying to speak casually. "If it were me, I would have had a much cleverer comeback than just to laugh."

The smirk dropped and Flynn's expression when dark. "Then the knight, still rubbing his throat and glaring daggers at me, said 'You think this is fucking funny? Let's see how funny you think this is.' They tied my hands behind my back. Too tight," he mumbled, rubbing his left forearm. "It hurt my broken arm. They pinned me down on my chest and one of them grabbed the waistband of my pants…"

His voice trickled out, his shoulders shaking. Yuri's chest tightened and muscles stiffened. If Flynn had been bleeding, he'd bandage it. If Flynn had been in a fight, he'd jump in and help him out. Now the thing hurting Flynn was inside his head and there was nothing Yuri could do to fix it. He felt so helpless, and the only solace he could find was the hope that he might have killed the bastards who did when they were fighting the Royal Guard last month.

He looked to Flynn, who had leaned forward and hid his face in his knees. "You don't have to say it," Yuri said. He really wished Flynn wouldn't say it, because he didn't want to hear this.

"It went on forever," Flynn mumbled into his knees. "And when the first one finished the second went. It… there was so much blood... how do people do this for fun?" he added bitterly. "A couple days later they did it again, and it just became a thing, for when they got bored, I think. It kept happening for months and months and..."

Yuri's blood boiled and he couldn't even look at Flynn's agonized face without shaking in fury. He had already guessed that Flynn had been raped, but hearing about it made him want jump up, grab his sword, and go to town on the pieces of crap responsible. The only thing that kept him sitting still was that they didn't even know the exact identities of the culprits, and in all likelihood they were already dead. Yuri really hoped he had been the one to kill them.

This was just so… wrong. This sort of thing simply didn't happen to strong men like Flynn. Flynn was always so confident and in control, and just picturing this happening to Flynn went against the very core of his conception of the world. A world where this kind of thing could happen to Flynn seemed a lot less safe.

Not knowing what else to do, Yuri rested a hand on Flynn's shoulder. He flinched but then relaxed. "It's over," Yuri said softly. He didn't know what else to say, because obviously things were not ok and all was not right.

"I finally gave in after... eight, maybe nine months. At that point, everything had lost meaning. I felt disgusting and wrong and guilty and after feeling that way for so long I believed it was true. The only person I didn't hate was Estelle and I would do anything to please her."

Flynn seemed eager to move on to less distressing memories, but the fact that this part could be less distressing than anything broke Yuri's heart.

"I guess I should be thankful that it lightened up after that. The last month or so was mostly Estelle conditioning me to accept any order without thought or protest. By that point I wanted to go along with her. I was punished for showing any kind of free thinking, and then once she'd hammered the last dregs of personality out of me I was punished for not successfully imitating my former self.

"Finally, ten months after I was originally imprisoned, they let me out of that room for the first time. It was like being reborn. I was so proud to finally be a 'proper' knight. I could flawlessly pretend I was still the old me, but it was like wearing a costume. Over the first couple of weeks, Estelle assured me that I was exaggerating what I had been through. She kept telling me it was just normal training, and punished me if I said anything about… torture." He obviously still struggled to say it aloud. "I hated making her unhappy so I pushed those memories away and never thought about them again, until... until now."

Flynn heaved a sigh. "It's hard to believe it's really over. I'm so grateful to you for waking me up, even if the method you used was... not pleasant."

"Sorry about that," Yuri said.

"You did what you had to do. I should be the one apologizing. I did such terrible things under Estelle's orders."

Yuri shook his head. "You don't have to apologize for that. It wasn't you."

"I want to," Flynn said. "I want to feel somewhat responsible because then at least I feel like I had some amount of agency. To think of myself as a mindless puppet with no free will is even scarier."

"If it helps you," Yuri said. "But know that I'm not holding you accountable for any of it."

"I'm sorry I attacked you in Capua Nor. I'm sorry I said such cruel things to you in Mantaic. I wasn't sure how to handle that situation and knew I needed to keep up the Flynn act while talking to you, so I took the moral high ground and accused you of being a murderer because I thought that's how I would react."

"Really, it's fine," Yuri insisted.

"Damn, I was such a hypocrite," Flynn said, rubbing his forehead. "I could have saved Cumore. Estelle told me not to, but the rope was right there. I saw him fall in, and he had only just slipped under when I walked up. I could have saved him!"

"Whoa, slow down," Yuri said. "I know you feel guilty about a lot if things, but Cumore is really not someone you want to lose sleep over."

"It's the principle of the thing," Flynn said. "There's more. I... I'm ashamed to admit all the things I did. There was... more than once I..." He dug his fingers into his hair and pressed his eyes shut.

Yuri took an uncertain breath, trying to think of anything to say. "Flynn... you know, there is nothing you could tell me that would ever make me think any less of you."

"You don't know that," Flynn whispered.

Yuri wasn't very good at expressing affection. He usually got by with friendly punches to the shoulder or his own particular brand of loving sarcasm, but in this instance he thought Flynn needed something more tangible. "Flynn, you've been my best friend since I can remember. I think... ugh, you'd better not tease me about saying this when you feel better - and you will - but... I love you, Flynn. You're the most important person in my life and I will never stop loving you, and there's no way telling me about things that happened to you will change that."

Flynn turned his head just enough to meet Yuri's eyes. Yuri met those eyes with as supportive a look as he could give. Flynn took a deep breath and then closed his eyes again and muttered, "I slept with Estelle."

Yuri's stomach squirmed and disgust shot across his face for a second before he masked it, and he prayed Flynn hadn't seen it. He was disgusted with Estelle for forcing him to do that, not at all with Flynn, but he had a feeling Flynn wouldn't interpret that in this state.

"She was just using me and now I'm so disgusted with myself." His lip curled and his fists clenched.

"That's not your fault," Yuri said forcefully.

"It's not like she forced me," he said bitterly. "She told me to and I didn't even question it."

Yuri shook his head aggressively. "No. That wasn't your choice, Flynn. You couldn't make any choices. She took that ability away from you." He suppressed a shudder. He couldn't even imagine going through everything Flynn had. The idea of having his identity stripped away and losing the ability to make his own choices was far more terrifying to him than death. "It's like... well, I think it's like if you drug someone to get them to sleep with you. You're the guy who enforces the law - you'd arrest the person for rape, wouldn't you?"

Flynn looked down with a frown. "Yes. I suppose so."

He clearly didn't totally believe it, but Yuri hoped this was something he'd come to accept with time. There wasn't anything else he could say now to make it better.

"I'm so sorry," Flynn said. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I gave Don Whitehorse the wrong letter on purpose, and only came back with the proper one after it became clear the Don had never been fooled and that it would be suspicious if I came back empty-handed and without any notable victories to justify making me a captain. I used my troops to get Ioder out of Zaphias because Estelle wanted him to be the emperor. We had time to go to the lower quarter but I claimed we didn't so that they could be bait to lure the monsters away from my brigade." The confessions spilled out of him while he stared at the ground, his face tight with self-hatred. He spoke emotionlessly like he was reading out charges at a trial. "I led my troops in a raid on Nordopolica in an attempt to get the apatheia for Estelle. I purposefully left most of my brigade behind when we went to Zaude because I wasn't actually trying to stop Alexei. I..." he paused, emotion suddenly lighting up his otherwise dead eyes.

"Wait," Flynn said. "Zaude..." He reached up and rubbed his shoulder, deep in thought. "I remember now. I hated you. Estelle twisted all my memories of you around and convinced me you hated me."

"Hmph," Yuri said, scowling. "That's not very nice of her."

"And then at Zaude, I thought I hated you when we met again. I was annoyed because pretending to be your friend every time we met was difficult. But then I saw that laser streak toward you and in a split second I was overcome with the urge to save you. I didn't know why I did it and I was furious with myself afterward, but I think I know, now. I think it's proof that she didn't totally destroy me. That no matter how far down she buried it, I was still there.

"Of course," Flynn said, his eyes darkening, "Estelle was furious with me afterward. I was punished severely. When I saw you again at Hypionia, I could barely bring myself to say hello in fear she'd think I was being too friendly. Then I was afraid she would punish me for not faking friendship well enough so I over-compensated and tried to be really nice at Aurnion." He sighed. "It was a confusing time in my life."

He finally raised his head and met Yuri's eyes. "Still, what I take away from this is that she couldn't stamp me out completely, even after all... that."

Yuri couldn't help smiling. "That's right," he said. "I told you that you're made of tougher stuff."

Flynn looked away, rested his head against the wall, and stared up at the sky. "Ten months of… of torture and emotional manipulation, and a piece of me survived. That's... amazing."

"You've always been able to bounce back from these sorts of things, Flynn," Yuri said. "If all that didn't totally destroy you the first time around, there's no reason to think you can't survive through remembering it."

"That's an interesting way to look at it. I'm not sure I fully believe it," he admitted. "Logically it sounds right, but I'm struggling to imagine a future where I'm not this emotional wreck. The possibility of being happy seems very far away, but I'm willing to work for it."

"Yeah!" Yuri said, more enthusiastically than he probably should have. "I've got your back every step of the way. You'll see; you'll be your old self again in no time."

"I certainly hope so." He frowned and said, "Unless, of course, someone brainwashes me again."

Yuri's excitement died. "Who do you think would do that?" Please don't say me, please don't say me. He'd finally got Flynn trusting him again; he didn't want to hear the Flynn was suspicious again.

"I don't know," Flynn said. "Anyone, I guess. I can't shake the feeling that I'll never know for sure if I'm really the one in control of my mind. What if someone is using me right now and I don't even know? How can I ever know? Does free will even exist?"

"Uh... I don't know. Sorry. I've never really thought about it before."

"That's what I can't stop thinking about. I'm afraid of losing control again. I'm afraid someone will use me against my will, without even knowing it. I want to know that my body, my mind, and my ideals are mine alone, but all of those have been violated."

Yuri thought for a few seconds, trying to think of anything encouraging to say. He eventually ended in a frustrated sigh. "I don't know, Flynn. I've never worried about this before. I guess just… rationalize your choice to yourself. If you prove to yourself that you're basing your decision on internal conviction and not someone else's influence, then it's probably you. "

Flynn nodded slowly. "That might work… Sorry to get philosophical on you."

"It's fine." Yuri glanced up at the sky, though it was hard to tell the time of day with all the clouds overhead. "We should probably get back soon. How do you feel?"

Flynn stared straight ahead for a few seconds, and then said, "I feel… better. Not a lot better, but considering my starting state…"

"Good," Yuri said. The knowledge of everything Flynn had been through made him so angry and so horrified he wanted to throw up. If he could get out of town and take out his rage on a grasshopper again, he would. For now, though, he had to be strong to give Flynn someone to lean on. As much as he wished he never had to think about what Flynn had faced, it was better now that he knew so that he could help Flynn carry the weight.

Yuri grabbed the wall above his head and pulled himself to his feet. "Ready to go in?" he asked, brushing off his pants.

Flynn nodded. "The others are probably wondering where we are. Oh! Yuri, what about the chicken?"

"Don't worry about it," Yuri said. He'd dropped the chicken the second he noticed what was happening to Flynn. He still felt terrible for that. He'd known how fragile Flynn was; he should have paid more attention. The bastards who'd set him off had scurried away the second they saw Yuri storming toward them, but Yuri hadn't bothered giving chase since he'd been more concerned with talking Flynn out of the flashback. It was hard enough trying to help Flynn when he wasn't trapped in his head, far beyond Yuri's reach.

"But what will we eat for dinner?" Flynn asked.

Yuri offered his hand, which Flynn clasped. Yuri pulled him to his feet and said, "We'll pick up take out or something."

Sodia finished signing the last document of the day and set the pen on the desk. Flynn's desk. She shuffled the papers and put them carefully in the outbox, and then folded her hands and looked around the office. She hated finishing work, because then she wasn't sure what else to do.

Flynn had been missing for nearly two weeks now. As this was no time to be without a head of the military, Ioder had appointed Sodia acting commandant until Flynn returned. Sodia tried to remain positive, but every day her optimism sunk. Flynn could be dead now for all they knew. She wanted to believe Yuri wouldn't kill him, but she'd seen what he'd already done. The large, reddish-brown stain set into the carpet where Flynn had nearly bled to death was a harsh reminder.

Sodia rested her face in her hands. She missed Flynn. She didn't feel qualified for this job and she hated sitting here uselessly while Flynn might be in danger in Dahngrest. It was like when he'd gone off to Hypionia a month ago and she'd given him up for dead. Ironically, the person who'd sparked her out of her slump then had been the very person causing her despair this time.

Hold yourself together, Sodia, she said to herself sternly. What would Flynn think if he saw you falling apart like this? She felt woefully inadequate to fill Flynn's shoes, but someone had to do it and as Ioder said, she was best suited to carry out Flynn's wishes until he came back. Assuming he did come back… There were so many things she'd always wanted tell him, but now it might be too late. Dammit, she had to stop thinking like that. She needed to be professional. Flynn being missing was a problem for the entire empire, not just her lonely heart.

There was a knock at the door and then Lady Estellise poked her head in. "Hello, Sodia. Are you busy?"

Sodia snapped her head up. "Ah, Lady Estellise. No, I'm not busy. I just finished going through some forms."

"Ok, good," she said, walking in. "I didn't want to bother you."

"I always have time for you, Your Highness." She forced a smile and tried to pretend she hadn't been on the verge of tears a moment ago.

Estellise sat on the other side of the desk and sighed. "Any news on Dahngrest?"

Sodia frowned. "Harry Whitehorse is not allowing knights into the city, and he claims to have no knowledge of Yuri Lowell or his friends staying in Dahngrest."

"They have to be there," Estellise said, frowning. "Where else would they be?"

"That's my thinking precisely," Sodia said.

Estellise rested her face in her hands. "Oh, this is just all so wrong. I never thought Yuri would turn on me like this, and now he's got all my friends against me too… I can't even imagine what he told them to get them on his side…"

"It will be alright, Lady Estellise," Sodia said, pretending she hadn't been wallowing in despair a few minutes ago herself. "Yuri can't hide from us forever."

"I know," she said, sighing. "I just hate that this is all happening. Everything was going so well after the Adephagos, and now…"

Sodia looked down at her hands. "It seems we're always on the cusp of a catastrophe. And all this on top of Master Ioder's illness."

"Yes," Estellise said, lowering her hands and her voice. "I doubt they're related but… it just isn't fair. The coronation was supposed to be only a couple of days from now, but he's so ill I doubt he can even get out of bed."

"Have the healers found any cause of illness yet?" Sodia asked.

Estellise shook her head with a frown. "No. I've tried all my healing artes on him and nothing is working. I gave him a poison bottle but it didn't work, so this has to be a natural illness."

"I'm sure he'll get better," Sodia said, trying to be more confident than she felt. If Flynn were here, he'd stay optimistic, even if Ioder's condition was gradually worsening. He spent the day in bed, pale faced and shivering. Estellise had largely taken over his duties as the emperor elect, and the Council was already abuzz with wondering whether they would have to put her on the throne instead.

"You don't think Yuri has anything to do with this, do you?"

Sodia shook her head. "I doubt it. How would he even get to Master Ioder?" Besides, since Flynn had been kidnapped, they'd heightened security all around the castle. All deliveries had to be made outside the gate, and members of guilds weren't allowed in at all. More guards patrolled the hallways than ever, including some stationed in the room with the statue of the goddess. Sodia wasn't sure why they needed guards there, but Estellise had insisted.

"You're probably right," Estellise said. "Besides, even after all this, I don't think Yuri has it in him to assassinate Ioder. I can't think of why he would want to."

Sodia nodded. "Right." Yuri was a criminal, but she thought of him more as a thug than an assassin.

Estellise stood up again. "I'm sorry to bother you. I just wanted to check on things."

"You're never a bother, Your Highness."

Estellise smiled. "Thanks, Sodia. Well… please let me know if you hear anything about Flynn. I'm just so worried about him."

"I promise you will be the first to know."

Estellise left, and Sodia took a deep breath. She couldn't let herself break down again. Lady Estellise hadn't given up on Flynn, and she wouldn't either. He would come back, and he would be so disappointed in her if she hadn't kept on top of his paperwork. There were still so many boxes to go through, and even though some were confidential and she didn't feel like she had the right to look through them, there was still some work she could do. With a streak of motivation, she grabbed another stack of papers and got to work.

It was probably the wind that woke him up. The strong breeze knocked a trash can over on the street outside with a clang. Yuri had always been a light sleeper, and over the past week, he had become more attuned to noise than ever before so that he could shake Flynn out of a nightmare the moment he started crying out.

Yuri blinked and rubbed his eyes, relaxing when he realized it had just been the wind and not Flynn. He still wasn't used to Flynn's nightmares, and seeing him suffer without being able to do anything tore him up inside. Flynn slept silently for now, though. Yuri was glad the trash can hadn't woken him up, since he got such uneasy sleep as it was. If they were lucky, maybe Flynn wouldn't have a nightmare tonight since he'd poured all of his memories out to Yuri this afternoon. Yuri was about to close his eyes and go back to sleep when a sick thought slid into his brain. Flynn was sleeping a little too silently.

Yuri bolted upright and shot his eyes to the bed. It was empty. Shit. "Dammit, Repede!"

The dog stirred and raised his head, looking to Yuri questioningly.

"How did you let him slip by you?" Yuri grabbed his shirt as he ran into the main room. He had his arms through the sleeves when he confirmed Flynn wasn't out here. Where the hell could he have gone? Yuri highly doubted Flynn had any interest going to the basement, but it was worth a shot.

Halfway to the basement, he glanced to the front door. It was unlocked. Maybe they hadn't locked it before going to bed? No, he distinctly remembered Judy locking it behind her when she came in and then no one had gone out for the rest of the evening. Shit.

"Ugh… Yuri?" Rita sat up from the couch and rubbed her eyes. "What are you doing?"

"Did you see Flynn go through here?" he asked.

Rita frowned. "Flynn? No. I was asleep. Why?"

"He's not in bed," Yuri said. He grabbed the front doorknob and swung it open. "I think he wandered off somewhere."

"Oh, great," Rita said, putting her shoes on.

Yuri didn't have time to bother putting shoes on and ran onto the street. Hopefully Flynn wouldn't have had time to go far. Where would he even go? He wasn't comfortable in this city; he hadn't even wanted to leave the Altosk building this morning.

"Do you think he's sleepwalking?" Rita asked, hurrying out after Yuri.

Yuri walked a few paces down the street, regretting his decision not to wear shoes. The cobbles were freezing. "I don't know. It's possible." Think, Yuri. Where would he go? To the market to get chicken because he felt guilty for ruining their shopping trip? That was a possibility. Maybe he'd woken from a nightmare Yuri hadn't noticed and then snuck out while confused about reality. Dammit, Dahngrest was a huge city; he could be anywhere! That was assuming he'd stayed in the city. Yuri certainly hoped he wasn't dumb enough to wander out into the fields without a sword, all alone and a night. If Flynn got himself eaten by a giant grasshopper after everything they'd been through, Yuri was going to be pissed.

"Yuri…" Rita said, standing still in the middle of the street.

"What?" he snapped.

"I found him."

"Huh? Where?" Yuri's eyes flew around the street, desperately searching for any sign of him. Then he realized Rita wasn't looking at the street, but up. With a sinking feeling, Yuri turned his head up and looked toward the Altosk building. His heart stopped beating and he whispered, "Shit."

Flynn stood on the edge of the roof, staring pensively at the ground.