Kiam's first Birthday was in a few days and he was becoming more depressed by the day. Being stuck in 1962 didn't help much. They had left 1913 and gone to stop the Migration. Ending at this strange house. He had gone in with Martha to investigate and found himself in 1962 without the Tardis but thankfully still with the folder he had been given earlier that day. He knew what he had to do now but he had to wait in order to accomplish it.

Martha had gotten a job, working at a shop to support them and found a two bedroom flat for them to live in. He smiled and Joked with her and tried to be happy, but after she had gone to bed for the night and he had laid Kiam down to sleep. He had found his thoughts growing darker. He missed Rose fiercely and kept picturing her being pulled away from him. He loved his son with both his hearts but wondered again if traveling with him was the best thing for the baby.

He knocked on her door lightly. "Yes," she called through.

"I need to take a walk. Would you mind listening for Kiam."

"No," she called back.

He left the flat and headed down the street. He hated feeling trapped, he missed the Tardis and he missed the stars. He walked in the cool night air, staring at them as he walked. He traced the familiar path he had taken to the beach. He sat down on a rock and took of his shoes and socks. He removed his coat and then his suit until he was only in a pair of shorts. He wrapped his clothes in the coat and stashed them in a bush nearby.

He had come here every night for the last week. He walked out in the lake until it became to deep to walk. Than he swam a few more feet. He treaded water for a moment before taking a deep breath and sinking to the bottom. He sat on the bottom of the lake, just like he did the pool on the Tardis all those months ago and he closed his eyes. He stayed on the bottom, long after his lungs begged for air, and his hearts pounded in his chest. He stayed until he could stand it no longer and then he pushed himself to the surface of the lake. He gasped for breath as soon as he felt his head hit the air.

He kicked gently, keeping himself a float until he finally headed back to the beach. He wasn't surprised to see her sitting on the Rock holding the sleeping child. "So every night while we sleep, you come out here and try to work up the courage to kill yourself." she said softly.

"It's not like that, Martha." He replied laying down in the grass.

"Than explain it to me."

He didn't answer her. He just stared at the sky and felt the turn of the Earth below him.

He finally set up and looked at her. "I miss her so much." He said quietly. "I feel dead Martha." He looked away as her eyes teared up. He didn't want to see her cry. "I come out here and try to feel something besides the pain of losing her and knowing that, my son is the only thing I have left of her. She gave me life again when I was ready to die." He stood up and gathered his clothes up, not bothering to get dressed. He turned and headed back to the flat.

He barely spoke the next couple of days and he could tell Martha was worried about him, but she was afraid to ask. Besides she talked enough for the two of them. She talked about work and how she was making friends there. She told him all about the cake she was going to make Kiam for his first birthday and went on about the presents she had bought for him.

"Oi, little ears are listening." He said finally.

"It's not like he will remember." She replied.

That was another thing that worried him but he didn't say it to Martha. He had been working with Kiam to develop his motor skills and had noticed that he wasn't developing as fast as other Timelord children. Sure he was half human and had been born premature, but it worried him. He should have been more advanced by now.

-DW-

He heard Kiam crying and rushed into the bedroom they shared. "Happy Birthday, Little Timelord," He said affectionately, scooping him up. "How old are you now, hmmmmm, Twenty one." he tickled the baby's stomach and smiled at his laughter. He got him dressed and headed out to the kitchen where Martha was waiting.

"Happy birthday," she said happily and passed the Doctor a box. He sat Kiam on the counter and helped him to open the box.

"Awe, Matha," He said surprised. He lifted out of the box a little pinstriped suit with a matching long brown coat. "Where did you find it?" He asked.

"That's for me to know," She said. "You like it."

"I do," Thank you.

Short little filler.