Bella's POV

"How was the movie sweetie?" I ask Lacy after Quil brings her home.

"The movie was OK but then Jason kissed me and it was gross." She makes a disgusted face and I try not to laugh. "Is it always gross mom? I mean you kiss dad all the time. Does it get better?"

"It does Lacy, I promise you. But it takes a lot of practice and it's not something you should practice with just anyone. You should really like the person. Daddy was a terrible kisser for like a year." I tell her and she makes another face.

"I don't think I like him enough to practice with him." Thank goodness for that I think. I am not ready for all of this. But Quil is right, she's a good kid and I think our relationship is good enough for her to know she can come to us with anything.

"You usually don't at 13 baby."

"You met daddy young."

"I know and I'm not saying you won't meet him young, you could meet him tomorrow, I'm just saying don't rush it and really don't even worry about it. You need to be getting ready for bed if you're going fishing with daddy tomorrow. Be quiet please because I think Ari and Derek are already asleep in the game room."

Ari pretty much demanded she spend the night since Derek spends all his time lately with Lena. Lena through a fit but Derek promised he would see her soon. Lacy thinks they're in love and Quil thinks they will end up together just because no one else is going to put up with her throwing fits to talk to him every night, I'm not sure if he's joking or not… I did convince him he shouldn't spend all his time with Lena; Ari is still his best friend. He felt bad once he realized he was ignoring Ari.

"You're OK with your little girl kissing boys?" I ask Quil when she runs upstairs to get ready for bed.

"She said it was gross and she's going fishing with me tomorrow so yeah I'm OK with it." He tells me and kisses me.

"Is Derek going?" I ask him. A free day would be nice.

"No but he is going to the zoo with Embry who is also taking Sara so Aidan can come with us and you and Leah and Stacy are kid free for the day."

"Embry's taking 6 kids to the zoo by himself?"

"Yep, aren't you glad he bought that huge ugly van now? But don't worry, Derek gets Lena and Lucas gets Sara and Ari gets Marissa." He tries to assure me. I'm not worried about the kids though, I'm worried about Embry…

"How are you feeling babe?" He asks sitting down and wrapping his arms around me.

"I'm sore but I'm OK. I mean sometimes I cry but then I'm OK. I'm going to be fine. How are you? You act like I'm the only one affected."

"I'm fine. I mean it's sad but it's OK I guess. But I don't think Lacy is OK honestly. She asked me in the car what caused it; she wanted to know if she did anything. I told her I don't know what caused it but it definitely wasn't her. I don't think she's convinced though. I'm hoping tomorrow helps her, being with me and Aidan doing something she loves away from all the other kids. I don't know.., maybe it will just help her clear her mind ya know? Plus Aidan always knows when she's upset and can usually get her over it."

"I can't believe my baby went on her first date." I tell him sadly.

"Time flies babe, you were only 6 years older than she is now when you married me." I smack him and tell him that's not helping.

"We have good kids babe, don't worry so much. I know you worry about Derek and Lena spending so much time together as young as they are but right now they just know they want to be with the other person. They don't know what being in love is. They know what love is… they see it all around them. But if when they're older they do fall in love wouldn't it be kind of cool?" He asks.

"It would be cool I guess. As long as it doesn't hurt Ari. But you're right, they're so young. Not worth worrying about…"

The next morning I get up to help everyone get ready and when I finally think I have peace and quiet Leah comes through my door followed by Stacy.

"Um I didn't know we had plans for the day…" I tell them.

"That's so you couldn't cancel them!" Leah tells me like that should be obvious.

"What are we doing?" I ask her.

"We're getting massages and then we're going to go to a really nice restaurant and then we'll probably go to the movies. You've been depressed Bella and you have a good reason but please let us get you out of the house today and take care of you. You've taken care of us since forever. With helping us raising our kids and always being there for us. We love you." Leah tells me and I tell her fine trying not to cry.

My plan for today was to curl up and watch bad TV. This does sound better.

They wait for me to get dressed then we go get breakfast before heading to the massage place. It's really nice hanging out with them, I see them all the time but I don't really get to spend a lot of real time with them.

We catch up on Leah's job and all the cute things the twins do and Lacy's dating.

"I can't believe Quil is so OK with her dating so young. I don't think Embry is ever going to let the girls date." Stacy tells me laughing.

"Bella and Quil have never been normal." Leah tells her laughing. "How many men let their wives spent so much time with other men? When we were younger people used to tell him all the time she was cheating on him."

"And he still flirts to get woman to buy more stuff." I tell her.

"I couldn't do it. I mean I used to be jealous of you." Stacy admits.

"Ha, yeah well I'm glad you didn't let it ruin your relationship like Lauren did." Leah looks at me funny. I guess we haven't talked about Lauren in years. Ari knows Stacy isn't really her mom but she was so little it doesn't really matter. She's asked about her a few times over the years and Embry always just tells her Lauren got scared and left. He doesn't know where she is. He told me once that if Ari is interested in finding her when she's older he will try. Jessica is still around but none of us ever talk to her.

"Weren't you ever jealous Leah?" Stacy asks her.

"No, since Bella got us back together I figured it was safe to assume she didn't want him." Stacy looks unconvinced. "She could have had any of them. She picked Quil." Leah tells her.

"That's not true." I tell them and Leah says whatever.

"It's OK Bella; it was a long time ago. We're all happy. I'm mean we're not all happy all the time but we're mostly all happy." Stacy agrees and we change the subject to Sara's upcoming birthday party.

We finish breakfast and drive to the massage place where we separate for the next hour and a half. During the massage my body relaxes first and then my mind relaxes and I start crying. The girl stops and asks if I'm OK but I tell her I'm fine and to just keep going. I let go of everything I've been holding on to. The guilt of not wanting a baby, the guilt of not telling Quil and hurting Lacy. The fear I have of my babies growing up. All the worry I carry over all the kids all the time. In this quiet room with this stranger doing things that probably should be uncomfortable I let go of things I didn't even know I was carrying around. I might have to do this more often.

After we are all done we go shopping with the agreement that we shop for ourselves, not even looking at anything for the kids. We shop for hours and I buy clothes I desperately needed.

"You have to get out more Bella." Leah tells me as we drive to another store.

"You take such good care of the kids but their older now."

"I don't know what to do when I'm not taking care of someone. All I ever wanted ever to do was teach but then I couldn't leave Lacy and then Ari and Derek and then Aidan. And I love it; I'm happy but now that I only have Sara and I don't always have her I feel like I don't have a purpose anymore."

"Why don't you go back to work Bella?" Stacy asks.

"I don't know, I just never even considered. I only taught for a year. And what about Sara?"

"Sara can go to preschool. And you only taught for a year but the principal is the same principal as when you were there plus he knows you from the kids. You could easily get hired on. And then you wouldn't even miss much time with the kids." Leah tells me and I think about it. I could totally go back to work. I get all excited and I can't wait to talk to Quil.

We get dinner at this really nice Italian restaurant and finally go to the movies.

"Thank you guys for getting me out today." I tell them when they bring me home.

Quil and the kids are watching a movie when I get home and after they go to bed I tell him my hopefully good news.

"I want to get a teaching job." I tell him nervously.

"That's awesome babe!" He tells me happily.

"How was Lacy?" I ask him.

"She's going to be OK I think. We talked about what happened a lot and how it's something that just happened and it's not caused by anything she would have done. She was worried that she might have had a fight with you that stressed you out or something. She worries a lot like her mother." He tells me.

"Her mother is working on it." I tell him and he laughs and we start talking about how things would change if I start working.