CHAPTER 26: Fears and Doubts
The sun stirs me awake, its persistent light peeking into my room. Edward is sleeping next me, his arm draped around me like the U.S. flag, holding me close. I watch him quietly and how beautiful he looks with the stubbles on his face and his tussled hair. Last night was such a great surprise. I wish he and I could stay in my bed all day.
"Good morning, beautiful," he stirs awake beside me, stretching and pulling me even closer to him. He kisses my hair then my neck making me giggle and squirm. He still has his eyes close with a happy, satisfied grin. I can't help but plant a small kiss on his lips for being so adorable this early in the day.
"Sleep well?" I ask with a sly grin.
"Very."
"Do you have to work today?"
"What's the time?"
I glance at my bedside digital clock. "It's about eight-thirty. You're not…late. Are you?"
Edward keeps the grin on his face and momentarily sits up to stretch again—refusing to open his eyes—and puts his weight on top of me so that I am now under him completely. I can feel his growing erection against my hip, making me very aware that we're still naked under the covers. I hope he remembered to lock my door last night. Alice barging in would not be welcomed, or worse—Aro. "I'd rather lay like this with you for the day," he breathes against my neck.
"Me, too." I throw my arms around him. "I asked Jane if she could talk to Aro about letting me bum on set so I can be around you more."
"Oh?" He finally lifts his head and looks at me quizzically. I blush. Not the reaction I was hoping for. He looks surprised and I can't tell if it's a good thing or bad thing. Maybe he doesn't want me there? I should have mentioned it to him before I took the initiative to ask. Staring into his eyes I'm hoping to read a real reaction from his lovely features. His eyes finally soften and he smiles. "So what'd she say?"
"I haven't heard back yet." I answer quietly, looking away.
"What it is?"
"Do you…mind if I'm there?" Hesitantly, I turn my gaze back to him.
"Why would I?" He looks confused, trying to read me.
"I don't know?" I casually shrug. "Maybe you want to keep things separate—work and personal life."
Edward adjusts himself so that he's resting on his elbows, some of his weight off me. I can finally breathe a little better. "They are separate, Bella. I like coming home to a normal relationship. Seeing you when I'm done working and not having our entire conversation revolve around what we both did at work and how this scene or that scene could have gone better is such a relief. And of course I'd love it if you were on set. Spending time with you however I can get it is the highlight of my day."
"Really?" I blush again.
"Yes, really. Are you hungry?"
"Oh, umm. A little?" The sudden change in subject takes me by surprise.
"Let's go out for breakfast. We might not get more days like this," he looks towards the window. "It's supposed to start raining again tomorrow."
"What about work?" Doesn't he need to be on set today? Or has he decided to play hooky? Aro would be furious if he's not where he's supposed to be.
"What about it?" he grins rebelliously.
"Edward," I sigh. "I'm not trying to get you into trouble with my uncle. If he knows I've held you up, he'll never let me on set—or worse, probably see you again."
He gently gives a lingering kiss. "Who says I need to be on set today?"
"Wait—what?" I remove my mouth from his sweet, soft lips. I can tell he's amused on how confused I look.
"Don't worry. I don't have to report to set until six or seven this evening. I'm yours for the day," he whispers, lifting himself up a little so he can nibble on my left earlobe. It shoots quick electric currents down my spine and down there.
My breathing picks up and I'm quietly panting from his ministrations. "Is the door locked?" Edward stops suddenly and cocks his head toward my door. Apparently he did forget to lock it last night, judging from his impish grin. He gracefully rolls off me and hops from foot-to-foot as if he's tip-toeing on hot coals. I can't help but stare at his sexy backside and behind. Once the door is locked, he does the same tip-toeing motion back to bed, covering his package and giving me another impish grin. I don't know why he's hiding it. It's not like I've never seen it before.
"There." He climbs inside the duvet next to me, kissing me on the way as he readjusts himself again. "Now where were we?" He's back on top of me—right where he should be.
I try to pretend I'm not distracted by the lustful look he's giving me. "I believe we were talking about breakfast."
He doesn't look happy. "Right. Breakfast." Suddenly, his expression changes from a disappointed little boy whose balloon just popped into a man with sexual carnal needs. "I can do breakfast," he slowly licks his lower lip. I swallow the nervous lump in my throat. Why is my mouth so dry? I can tell he's up to something—but what? He insists on gently grinding on me, sending my thoughts into a fuzzy blur. My body has taken a life of its own and falls in sync with his movements. Oh, I want him—bad.
Edward stops and quickly ducks his head underneath the covers. "Edward…" I quietly squeak. My hands are in his hair, pulling gently. I can feel him spreading my legs farther and farther apart, trailing kisses between my breast, down to my navel and still lower. My whole body feels like the color of wild fire and I'm suddenly feeling very shy at what I know he's about to do. No one's ever done this to me before. My heart is beating in my ears, waiting. Anticipating. "Edward." My breath is ragged. "You don't have to do this. Really…"
He lifts his head from underneath his hiding place and smiles his crooked grin at me. "I know. But I want you for breakfast," he says in a sexy, husky voice. With one wink, he ducks under the covers again. Oh, my. This is going to be a long unforgettable morning...
After a nice hot shower together in my bathroom, we make our way downstairs into the kitchen. Alice is there with Rosalie having breakfast on the island. They both look at us suspiciously after probably hearing me giggling like an idiot in the hallway. Edward was insistent on poking my side knowing how ticklish I am. I blush as he and I compose ourselves in front of his sister and brother's girlfriend-slash-publicist. "Good morning," I give them a quick, embarrassed smile.
"Good morning, you two," Alice says with curiosity in her voice. "Sleep well?" Her question sounds innocent enough, but I know what she's getting at. My eyes widen for a moment and give her a small nod, cheeks pink as usual. Edward rolls his eyes at her.
"Don't forget your schedule today, Edward," Rosalie says sternly. It feels like ages since I last saw her. She still looks radiant, fresh out of a fashion magazine. From what I've heard, she and Emmett have been preoccupied with getting a few more movie scripts into Edward's hands, even a few guest spots on a television show. She folds the newspaper she'd been reading and gets up from the barstool with her empty bowl of cereal in her hand, and places it in the sink. She shoots another warning look at Edward.
"I know, Rose," he almost glares back at her.
"Bella." I stand to attention at the call of my name. What did she want to say to me? Rosalie has one eyebrow cocked as if she's measuring my worth. She doesn't say anything for a few moments. My heartbeat picks up in anticipation of what she's about to say. "Please keep Edward on schedule." That's it?
"O-of course," I nod, giving her my 'word of honor' look. If I don't keep my Girl Scout's promise I know there's going to be hell to pay.
"Good." She tucks the newspaper she was reading under her arm and heads out of the kitchen.
Alice is trying to suppress a grin. "Wow…"
Edward takes his place across his sister. "Wow, what?" he asks, less amused, taking a piece of bacon from her plate. I station myself next to Alice where Rosalie was previously sitting so we're both facing Edward. "That she kept it short and sweet?"
"Yes!" the Hobbit nods. "I was sure she was going to say something more, like, 'Edward, if you're late again—I'll have your head!' Or something along those lines."
"Late again?" I ask, looking at her then her brother. When has Edward ever been late? I've always known him to be the King of Promptness. I was the one usually late to things. If he and Alice didn't keep me on schedule I'd be running behind on a completely different time zone.
Whatever Alice meant, Edward didn't look pleased with her comment. He briefly glares at her, shaking his head. "It's nothing. Don't worry about it. So, where would you like to go for breakfast?" Why is he so quick to change the subject? My pixie-haired friend makes no further comments and quietly continues to finish the pieces of bacon on her plate.
"Do we really need to go out for food?" I ask. It's a beautiful morning but I'd rather not deal with the mob of paparazzi outside. Spending time with Edward anywhere was enough for me. We could be holed in a dirt pile and I would still be happy.
"Well, if you decide to go out, make sure you cover your tracks. There's more of them outside." Alice gracefully scoots herself off the barstool, taking her empty plate with her to dispose in the sink. "You might also want to catch up on today's news." She points with her chin to the pile of newspapers at the end of the counter and saunters away leaving us to our curiosities.
I grab the newspaper and flip through the pages. Of course I can hardly understand anything written in ink but the main picture on what I'm guessing is in the entertainment section has me in a state of shock. "What is it, Bella?" I can hear the concern in his voice but I'm unable to look at him or reply. I'm completely frozen. He gets up from his seat and walks around to stand next to me so he can see what has me so distressed. He reads the caption underneath the picture and sighs. "It's nothing, Bella." Because my motor skills aren't properly working, he has to gently pry the newspaper from my hands. He skims the article and flips the pages to see if there are anymore pictures of us from a couple of nights ago. Edward shakes his head again. "It only one picture. The article doesn't say much. At least they don't know where we went afterwards."
"How did they even get that?" I find my voice again, still in disbelief shock. It's a semi-blurry picture of Edward and me running through the kitchen at the expensive restaurant we were at when we finally went out on our first real date with our wigs on. Someone from the kitchen staff must have whipped out their camera phone and took it. I wonder how much they paid this person for the amateur shot. If you didn't know Edward or wasn't there to witness it, the two in the colored picture could have been anyone, but clearly it was us. He tells me from the article that the paparazzi found the wigs we abandoned in the alley trash bin confirming that the two scurrying out the back kitchen entrance was us.
"Don't worry about it, Bella." He murmurs, cupping my hands in his and planting a soft kiss on them. "You know I'll always protect you." I can't hide the distress I still feel. The lack of privacy is exhausting—always having to look over your shoulder to see if you're being watched. I'm starting to think anyone could be the paparazzi. Even an innocent kid in a stroller. "Bella, look at me." I reluctantly do as I'm told. Edward's eyes look pained. "I told you what it would be like if you decided to be with me."
I knew the consequences and how my life would change with Edward in it. But not having him in my life feels too painful. Can my private life under a magnifying glass be more bearable than not having him exist in it? I don't know. I just know I need him as if he was the very air I breathed. The thought of losing him tears at my heart. "You mean everything to me." I whisper, trying to hold back the tears prickling in the corner of my eyes.
He swivels me around so he can place himself in between my dangling legs on the barstool. My Greek Adonis holds me tightly and kisses my forehead. I wrap my arms gingerly around Edward's waist and close my eyes. It feels so good to be wrapped in his warm, protective embrace. The nervousness and trepidation I feel suddenly starts to melt away—all from a single touch. "You are my life now, Bella." Looking up into his beautiful green eyes, I know this to be true. I know he'll do anything to keep me safe. Even try to hide me from the world if he could.
"You still want to eat out for breakfast?" I give him a faint smile.
He meets it with a small grin. "Only if you're up for it," he kisses my temple. "If you'd rather not be outside, we don't have to be. We can do whatever you're comfortable doing."
"There's this nice café Alice I went to for breakfast once. It's not very far from here. And they have outside seating."
The look on his face is priceless. Shock, surprise, confused and maybe a little horrified are all rolled into one expression. "You want to go out…in public?" I shrug. The paparazzi have already seen us out together and no matter if we're in disguise or not, they can still spot us a mile away. I figured it was time to stop hiding. I have been hiding for weeks inside Aro's villa and only been free on a few occasions but always weary of someone capturing a picture of me to put in the tabloids. Instead of allowing them to speculate on what we're up to, why not show them exactly what we're doing—publicly speaking, of course. All this I explained to Edward. "You sure? You know we don't have to do this?" he reassures me.
"I want to. I'm tired of hiding." I say quietly. "I'll have to face them head-on sooner or later. And even if we've never met, they'll eventually know my face as I'm the niece of a famous Italian director." I smirk a little. Yes, the picture in the newspaper caught me off guard but it's something I should start getting used to—whether or not I was with Edward. This is something I need to accept. And over time, I will.
We drive out the gate in a drop top convertible that belongs to Aro. The paparazzi that have sprouted outside are like children in a candy store once they see us. The flashes from their cameras are like stars glowing in daylight. Edward wears his aviators, a plain cotton v-neck shirt, and cargo shorts. I wear a simple camisole with a cardigan and jean shorts. I have a scarf wrapped around my head with my own dark sunglasses. I feel like Marilyn Monroe or Audrey Hepburn riding off into the sunset with my man, although it's barely past ten o'clock in the morning. "There's still time to head back, you know." Edward looks over at me with a hidden, amused grin.
I shrug again, giving him my own secret smile. "Too late now. We're almost there."
He parks the car nearby and we walk hand-in-hand to the hostess in the front. He takes off his aviators and smiles kindly at her. She blushes, blinking a few times, staring at Edward. I want to roll my eyes. Of course she'd feel flushed at the sight of him. He has the same effect on me still. But she needs to know he's mine. He puts his arm around my waist, holding me close, which makes me smile a little victoriously. She blushes again and nods understanding that this is a table for two and no, she cannot join us! She briefly acknowledges me with a weak grin and leads us to a table outside without us having to wait in a line. Edward talks to the manager and happily nods at some kind of request of his. After they shake hands, he sits down opposite of me.
"Nice place," he looks around the outside patio. There surprisingly aren't a lot of people here for brunch. A few glance our way taking pictures with their camera phones but not enough to disturb us. I still have my scarf and sunglasses on. It allows me to scan the area without actually making eye contact with anyone so I can see who's really paying attention to us.
Edward reaches over the table with his palm up asking for my hand. I slowly do so and he squeezes it with a smile. "Stop worrying."
"I'm not worrying," I scoff at his words unsuccessfully.
"Really? Then why do you keep glancing around our table?" How does he know that? Am I really that obvious? I take off my sunglasses and look down at our hands. He's gently caressing my knuckles with a suppressed smile.
"What did you say to the manager?"
"I've asked him for a little privacy in case the paparazzi show up, which should be shortly."
"Privacy? How?" How could we possible have any sort of privacy? We're out in public. Anyone casually walking their dog in the street can see us.
"Those with a camera will not be allowed on their property. If they happen to be a normal tourist, the manager agreed to sit them somewhere inside away from us—just in case. Of course, that doesn't mean they can't still take pictures from across the street." Just then, I hear a camera's shutter click. I look to my left and there's already three of those hounds snapping away. "See what I mean?" He solemnly shakes his head but still has a light expression on his face. "So, I'll ask you again. Are you sure about this?"
I inhale deeply and take off my sunglasses and scarf. Immediately I hear more cameras in the background. I just hope they haven't zoomed in too closely on my face. I don't want every single pore showing up on paper. Edward looks entertained, taking my hand still in his and kissing it softly. "Ask me again later," I say with a half-smile.
"You're very brave," he replies with almost pride in his voice.
"What did Alice mean earlier about you being late again?" The question's been bothering me since we left and I want to know. I can tell he doesn't want to talk about it from his stiffened position. There I go ruining the moment.
"It's not a big deal, Bella."
"Well, I want to know."
Edward rolls his eyes. "I was only late by a few minutes."
I'm starting to get annoyed because instead of just telling me, he's dancing around the question. I try to keep my cool. "When?"
Obviously I'm not going to let this one go. I don't care how minuet he thinks it is. I've been known for my stubborn streak. When I don't budge, he finally gives up and sighs. "I was late to set the day we went to the beach…on our first date. I didn't want to bring it up because I had a wonderful time with you and I didn't want you to think you were at fault for it. And no, I didn't get into trouble if that's what you're wondering."
"Did you know about the picture in the paper?"
"No," he shakes his head sternly. "Usually Rosalie or Emmett would tell me but neither one did. That's why I was surprised Rosalie didn't mention one word of it this morning."
"I see. Well, shall we eat?" I ask, changing the subject. The picture of us still has me flustered and I want to get brunch done as soon as possible because although I'm trying to be brave enough to be in the eye of these starving sharks across the street, I'm still out of my comfort zone. Every little thing we do I swear is like them smelling blood and want a piece of us. To my relief, Edward orders us a bottle of wine to relax my nerves. I'm sure it's happy hour somewhere in the world. Brunch has gone smoothly enough, Edward trying his best to keep me occupied in a conversation to get my mind away from those around us. We're now currently waiting for our dessert that he's let me choose. He places an elbow on the table and rests his chin on it, looking at me pensively. "What?" I scrunch my nose and take a sip of my wine.
"I know this might not be the proper time to bring this up and the last thing I want to do is ruin your mood…but…" Oh, no. What is he going to say? I start to panic. "There's still the matter of Tanya."
I frown. Of course, Tanya. Her presence is never far away in our conversations. I forgot about her until he casually waits to bring her up. "What about her?" I snap quietly. If he thinks my mood wasn't going to turn south, he had another thing coming!
"I'm only bringing her up because you know she'll eventually see these pictures of us. I just want you to be prepared for whatever may happen. She can be very overzealous and I don't want her doing anything to upset you." Edward sounds sincere and my mood lightens a bit but talking about her and my fear of her doing something crazy creeps up on me.
"She really won't approve of this…will she?"
He looks apologetic. "No. In fact, she might be furious." Furious? Holy hell. Angry and upset I was expecting. But, furious? That brings my fear to a whole new level.
"Was she your only long term relationship?" It dawned on me that we've never talked about our past relationships before. Was there another girl before and after this picturesque model? A part of me wants to know while the other part wants to plug her ears and make strange sounds so she can't hear the answer.
"I've had a few relationships from middle school to college but nothing too serious. I tried my best but I was never that great at juggling school, drama, theater and a girlfriend. I met Tanya toward the end of my senior year in New York while I was at Julliard."
"You went to Julliard?" My mouth slightly drops open. Of course he's studied at the prestigious performing arts school. This really shouldn't surprise me, but it does.
He gives me a shy smile. "I was only there for two years—my junior and senior year. Before that I was at the American Musical and Dramatic Academy, or better simply known as 'AMDA'. I wanted to stay in Chicago but New York provided better opportunities for what I wanted to do with my life. So, I left Chicago after graduating high school. But my family was never that far away. My mother always had shows in New York and Alice was usually with her learning the ins and outs of the Fashion industry. I tried to make it home for holidays as well."
"How did you meet Tanya?" My goal is to know more about how they met and I refuse to get derailed by his interesting background. I mean, there must have been something about her that was attractive to him besides her looks. Unless that's all there was, which can't be the case because well—look at me! I'm nothing like her. I'm too dull beyond comparison yet there's something about me that he seems to like.
"I met her at one of her annual charity banquets. Her speech and cause was very moving and inspiring. She was also just beginning her modeling career. My old acting coach in high school who I've kept in touch with over the years introduced us. He knew her grandmother. He and her grandfather previously served in the military together."
"She seems really great for having her own charity," I say quietly. It's hard complimenting my rival but it's true. It's something I'd never expect from her.
"Yes, it is," he nods, a slight frown on his lips. "She was very different back then. After her modeling career soared, she became more self-absorbed and loved the attention she was receiving even more. She also became very possessive over me and never trusted me, even though I've told her she had nothing to worry about. After a while…I just couldn't take it anymore. And well, I'm sure you know the rest." He rubs his neck and finally takes a long swig of his wine.
My heart is clenching tightly in my chest. This wasn't something I was expecting to talk about today. Not on a lovely day like this, even with the paparazzi only a few feet away from us. "Did you…love her?" The words bring a sharp, stabbing pain to my chest. Why am I asking this? Do I really want to know? Can I bear the answer?
He looks shocked for a moment but quickly regains himself. "Bella…" he frowns. I know it's not something he wants to discuss either, but I've made up my mind—I don't want to know, but I need to know.
"Tell me," my voice is barely above a whisper. I'm trying to keep my face impassive but I know he can see the disheartening feeling in my eyes.
He takes a deep breath. "Yes," he murmurs. The pain in my chest tightens. Edward reaches for my hand again and squeezes it. "Or at least I thought I loved her. I thought I knew her but after a while I started to question if I ever really did. Sometimes the more you know a person, the clearer their personality becomes and it rings true in my case. I honestly can't remember what I loved about her. What she's doing with her charity is great and commendable but I feel like I only saw her through those actions and not really for the person she was. I hope that makes sense."
I nod solemnly. Edward's confession is hard to take because I've never loved anyone before. Not like I love him…not even close. I'm inexperienced in the ways of love and still slowly learning. Everyday is a new day with him. My eyes were never open wider; my conscious more alive and the colors around me more vivid than they have been since we met. We come from two different worlds but somehow we've managed to make it work—not to say we still don't have a long way to go. But for now, I am content with…us.
"Bella, say something." He looks worried as if I might run screaming for the hills. Or hide in a dark, lonely cave to sulk in my misery.
"I understand," I finally respond. "We often look past people's flaws and see the good in them. You must have seen something good in her. And I know I can't change the way she goes about her life or her views on the world, just as much as she can't magically wave a wand and make me as graceful as a ballerina." I look back into my childhood at the ballet lessons my mother enrolled me in and how badly I sucked at it. I frown at the memories.
"Hey," he says softly, bringing me back to the present. The gentle circle he's continuing on my knuckles with his thumb is soothing. "I love the fact you're not graceful."
"Well, thanks." I sardonically roll my eyes. I know he means it affectionately but the gloomy cloud above my head has yet to disappear. Edward pulls my hand to his lips and kisses it sweetly, his soft green eyes never leaving my gaze. The paparazzi must be going bananas. I take a bigger sip of my wine, hoping my muscles will relax again from their tense position around my shoulders.
The past is the past and we all know it cannot be changed. Things happen for a reason and if such events never happened, Edward and I would probably never have met, so I'm thankful he and Tanya had their time together. And now it's ours. But an uncomfortable feeling that I haven't managed to shake off is back and it makes me feel horrible about myself.
"You are by far the hardest person to read, Bella." Edward looks frustrated because he knows something is bothering me. He's been studying my features this entire time. Should I tell him? Do I want to tell him? I feel slightly embarrassed about it and can't help the flush on my cheeks. "I'm not a mind reader so will you please tell me what's bothering you now? Is it the paparazzi? Do you want to leave?"
"No," I whisper, looking down at my empty wine glass.
"Then what is it? Don't tell me it still has to do with Tanya?" The irritation in his voice is present. He lets go of my hand and slumps back into his seat, his hands resting lazily on his lap, his head slightly cocked to one side waiting for me to enlighten him.
"I'm just," I sigh, "…I kind of feel like a home wrecker..."
"A home wrecker?" he scoffs with a relieved chuckle. "How so…exactly?" My face turns brighter. I'm embarrassed enough as it is and he's making it worse. But Edward looks very curious. He folds his arms across his chest and leans into the table.
I roll my eyes. "I feel like I'm the other woman who's taken you away from her!" I spat out the words before they have time to fully register in my brain. But, there—I said it.
As I was mindlessly flipping through the channels one day, I saw a short story on Jennifer Aniston who was rumored to be engaged to her new boyfriend. The host mentioned how it would be her second marriage, her first husband being Brad Pitt. It showed them on the red carpet years ago then fast forward to more recent times with Jennifer Aniston replaced by Angelina Jolie on his arm. I remembered rumors circulating how Miss Tattoos and Sexy Legs took Brad away from Jen before they divorced. It was like the sweet girl next door versus the bad girl who likes to play with knives. After watching the show, I asked myself if that was what I was doing. Was I taking Edward away from Tanya? It could be perceived that way by the media knowing how they love to spin the truth around for more press time and money, which leaves a sour taste in my mouth.
"C'mon, let's go." Edward drops a few liras on the table and stands up with determination. After putting on his aviators, he extends his hand out to me. I place my small nervous hand into his, which his grabs, gently pulling me up from my seat. I clumsily put on my sunglasses with my other hand as we stalk away from the restaurant back to the convertible. His strides are long and quick so I have to hurry with my feet to keep up. Good thing I'm wearing flats or I might have already broken something or hurt someone accidently in my mission to get out of here safely.
Edward's unreadable expression and distant demeanor makes me anxious and nervous. My heart is also beating in my ears again. Have I upset him by what I've said? I slink into my seat as he starts the car. "Put on your seatbelt," he says calmly. I do as I'm told, slightly glancing across the street where the paparazzi are feverously snapping away. They look like savages climbing on top of each other but still not crossing their boundaries over to us. Compared to them, L.A. photographers would have a camera up my nose by now. He speeds away as I get thrown back into my seat. I'm glad to have my seatbelt on.
There doesn't seem to be anyone conspicuously following us but Edward is driving like a bat out of hell. This is the first time I've actually seen him drive aside from the moped. Road rage must also run in their family because he's speeding through the streets like his Hobbit of a sister. "Edward, please slow down," I try to say as coolly as possible. I notice a small smirk before his quickening frown when he sees me gripping the chest strap of my seatbelt like it was the only thing keeping me from flying out of the car. My scarf is also in my purse so my hair is flailing wildly around my face.
The car gradually slows per my request and I relax a little. He doesn't look happy again from the grim line on his lips. What's he so sour about? His sour mood is making me sour as I dwell on our last discussion. He has no right to pout or act childish about it, I tell myself. At least I was honest about my feelings. I should get credit for that. After a few minutes more, he turns into what looks like a cemetery with white headstones and tombstones in rows of each other and crypts. "Where are we going?" There are so many things swimming in my head.
He laughs softly, which sounds so wonderful after his weird mood. "We're only passing by."
Around the cemetery I see a quaint little meadow full of wild purple flowers and trees. It looks very secluded and vaguely familiar as if I've dreamt about this place before. Edward parks the car in the shade of two big trees where it can't easily be seen in case we were followed. However, there doesn't seem to be anyone else around besides the insects and birds chirping in the distance. He has my door open already and I haven't even unbuckled my seatbelt. The scenery has distracted me. "It's lovely here…even if it is behind a cemetery."
"Yes, it is," he agrees casually. He helps me climb out of the car and has me follow him a ways down the meadow's path directly next to the cemetery, not letting go of my hand. The sun is shining brightly in the field and I wonder why we're still hiding in the shade of the willow trees. I brush my fingers on their elongated leaves swaying in the breeze that's picked up.
My arm is suddenly yanked and I am in Edward's arms, his hands on my waist. We are facing each other, my forehead against his as he guides me to one of the nearby trees. My back is against the rough bark and it's uncomfortable but I don't dare break my gaze away from his. I see passion and a carnal need in them, a look I'm very familiar with. He claims my mouth within seconds, invading it with his tongue and I welcome him freely.
I'm all sensation now, forgetting about the rough bark behind me as Edward presses me against it even more. I can feel his erection growing through his shorts. I moan into his mouth wanting him to take me here, not caring who sees. But Edward has always had more self-control than I did. He breaks away much to my dismay, both of us panting for air. His forehead is back against mine with his eyes closed. "Are you mad at me?" I whisper.
His green eyes fly open, staring at me quizzically. After he regains his composure he caresses my cheek with the back of his hand and trails his index finger to my lower lip, now puffy from him sucking on it. "Of course not," he murmurs. "I brought you here because I no longer wanted to share you with the public." He doesn't smile but I see the light humor in his beautiful eyes before he stares at me with all seriousness. "Bella, you're not a home wrecker. Countless times I've told you that Tanya and I are no longer together. We haven't been for a while. She's someone I had a past with who is not a part of my present or my future. And, no—you're not the other woman, don't ever think that. You're all that matters to me now."
I hug him tightly around his neck and bury my face on his shoulder. He holds me with the same force, lifting me so I'm on my tip-toes. Edward smells of fresh laundry and mild cologne which is heavenly. He softly kisses my hair. "You mean so much to me," I whisper, holding back a chocking sob in the back of my throat. "I don't want to think of how utterly painful it would be if I lost you." I sigh into him. It feels good to get my worries and concerns out in the open.
"I told you, I'm not going anywhere." Edward lets go of me so he sees my face again. He gives me a loving smile and kisses the corner of my lips. "I know we haven't known each other very long but I feel like I've been waiting for someone like you my entire life. Now, with that said, do you really think I'll let you get away that easily?" The humor is back in his voice and I can't help but smile. He suddenly gives me a strange look and cups my behind. "What's that?"
"What's what?" I stare back equally bemused. Edward pats the right back pocket of my jean shorts and fishes out my vibrating phone. "Oh." I was too caught up in the moment and didn't even feel it buzzing. He hands it to me and I look at the caller ID. "It's Jane!" I answer the call while Edward waits patiently until I hit the end button.
"What'd she say?" he asks anxiously.
I grin like a giddy fan girl. "Looks like I'll be joining you on set this evening."
Author's Note: Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Bella and Edward still have a long way to go in their relationship. Think they'll last? I sure hope so.
Don't forget to review, friends!