Chapter Eight: Another Buzz?

During the earlier morning they were making their way in some bushes with Buzz karate chopping branches out of their way.

"Hey, Buzz, can we slow down? May I remind you that some of us are carrying over six dollars in change" Hamm said.

"Losing health units...must rest" Rex panted

"Is everyone present and accounted for?" Buzz asked.

"Not quite everyone" Mr. Potato Head said.

"Who's behind?" Buzz asked.

"Mine." Slinky said as his hind legs came walking in then sat.

"Hey, guys why did the toys cross the road?" Hamm asked standing by a light.

"Not now, Hamm" Buzz said.

"This is no time for jokes" Jason said.

"Oh, I love riddles. Why?" Rex asked.

"To get to the chicken on the other side" Hamm said as they saw Al's Toy Barn across the street.

"Yippee!" Rex said.

"The chicken!" Slinky said.

"This is great!" Jason said as cars drove fast across the street and ran over a undented can and made it roll in crushed in front of them.

"Oh, well, we tried" Rex said walking away.

"We'll have to cross" Buzz said grabbing Rex tail.

"What the... You're not turning me into a mashed potato!" Mr. Potato Head said.

"I may not be a smart dog, but I know what roadkill is" Slinky said.

"There must be a safe way" Buzz said.

"Hey Buzz you think those would work?" Jason asked pointing to some traffic cones.

"Good thinking Jason!" Buzz said.

The toys all waited for a red light as they all hid under the cones.

"Okay, here's our chance! Ready, set, go!" Buzz said as they all began to walk out into the street as the green light came and cars began to approached.

"Drop!" Buzz yelled as they all dropped their cones making two cars crash.

"Oh! I so don't want to look" Jason said.

"Go!" Buzz said as they began to move again.

"Drop! I said drop!" Buzz yelled as they dropped again as they heard more crashed.

"Sorry!" Max said.

"Go!"

"Drop!"

"Go! Go!" Buzz yelled as they reached the end and tossed off their cones.

"Ah, that went well" Mr. Potato Head said as Jason looked over to see the pileup they caused.

"Yeah, well" Jason mumbled.

"Good job, troops we're that much closer to Woody" Buzz said.

Later that day they all road a cow themed cart to the front doors of the store to see the closed sign.

"Oh, no. It's closed" Slinky said.

"We're not preschool toys, Slinky, we can read" Mr. Potato Head said as they saw man walk by into the sliding doors as they opened for him.

"Hey, Joe, you're late. We got a ton of toys to unload in the back!" a man inside the store yelled.

"All right, all right. I'm comin', I'm comin'!" Joe said.

"Come on! Let's get movin'!"

"All right, let's go" Buzz said as they all ran towards the doors.

"But the sign says it's closed!" Rex said as they all ran onto the black mat and tried to get it to open each jumping.

"No, no, no, no, all together. Now!" Buzz yelled as they all jumped together as the doors opened.

"Whoa, Nelly. How are we gonna find Woody in this place?" Slinky asked as they looked around the huge store.

"Look for Al. We find Al, we find Woody. Now move out" Buzz said as Jason noticed Rex reading a game walkthrough guide as they all split up taking isles.

"Woody!"

"Woody!"

"Woody!" Max yelled as they walked down a baby toy isle.

"Woody! Man it take forever being the size of a toy" Jason said while Buzz found himself looked in the Buzz Lightyear Isle.

"Wow, I could use one of those" Buzz said looking at the new Buzz Lightyear with Utility Belt.

"You know, they make it so you can't defeat Zurg unless you buy this book. It's extortion, that's what it , I always thought the golden sceptre was the only..." Rex said as Hamm and Slink drove in a car with Max.

"I thought we could search in style" Hamm said.

" Nice going there, how about letting a toy with fingers drive?" Mr. Potato Head said.

"Hey where's Jason?" Rex asked.

"He went to find Buzz" Max said.

"Am I really that fat?" Buzz said looking at the other Buzz toy as he reached for the belt to have the other Buzz grab his arm and slam him to a wall.

"Ow! What are you doing?" Buzz yelled.

"You're in direct violation of code .45 stating all space rangers are to be in hypersleep until awakened by authorized personnel" New Buzz said.

"Oh, no" Buzz groaned.

"You're breakin' ranks, ranger. Buzz Lightyear to Star Command. I've got an AWOL space ranger.

Jason was turning the conrer when he saw the two Buzz's.

"Oh crap" Jason said hiding behind the corner.

"Tell me I wasn't this deluded" Buzz groaned.

"No back talk! I have a laser, and I will use it."

"You mean the laser that's a light bulb?" Buzz said flipping around and touching the other Buzz laser button as the other Buzz gasped in horror and jumped onto a fake planet hanging above them.

"Has your mind been melded? You could've killed me, space ranger or should I say traitor?" New Buzz said hitting the laser button as it glowed on Buzz forehead.

"I don't have time for this" Buzz said walking away.

"Halt! I order you to halt!"

Buzz then jumped from the display case where the other Buzz tackled him as they began to fight.

"Listen to me. Listen. Wait, wait, wait!"

"I better help him" Jason said shaking his head.

"We've been down this aisle already" Slinky said.

"We've never been down this aisle it's pink!" Mr. Potato Head said as they drove past girls having a party.

"Face it... we're lost" Slinky said as the car stopped and went in reverse.

"Ooh! Back it up, back it up" Hamm said as they all looked over to see all the Barbie dolls having a dance party.

"What a great party!" a Barbie said as all the toys in the car jaws dropped.

"How low can you go? How low can you go?" Barbie's sang playing limbo.

"Stop splashing me!"

"Excuse me, ladies does anyone know where we might find the Al of Al's Toy Barn?" Hamm asked.

"I can help" Tour Guide Barbie said coming down a slide and spun in the air and landed in the car in the driver seat. "I'm Tour Guide Barbie, please keep your hands, arms and accessories inside the car, and no flash photography, thank you."

"I'm a married spud. I'm a married spud. I'm a married spud!" Mr. Potato Head repeated.

"Then make room for the single fellas!" Hamm said taking the seat next to her as they drove into the next aisle.

"To our right is the Hot Wheels aisle, developed in 1967 the original series had 16 cars, including the Corvette."

"Uh, beg your pardon, ma'am, but where's Al's office?" Slinky asked.

"Please hold all questions until the end of the tour. Thank you!"

"AHHH! It says how you defeat Zurg! Look!" Rex said putting the book in front of them.

"Hey, Rex!" Hamm yelled.

"Excuse me, sir!"

"Get this outta here, geekosaur!" Mr. Potato Head said pushing the book out of the way as they saw they were driving towards a bouncy ball machine.

"Look out!" Slinky yelled.

"Oh, stop, stop, stop!" Max yelled as they crashed into the machine as it began to rain bouncy balls on them as they tried to drive away only to end up spinning out of control.

"Turn into the spin, Barbie!" Hamm yelled.

"My source of power! No! Come back!" Rex yelled accidently dropping his book and tried to chase after it then went after the car "Hey! Wait up! Hey! Come on! Slow down! Dinosaur overboard! Slow down..." he yelled as the car stopped and he was sent crashing into the back seat.

"Remain seated, please! Permanecer sentado, por favor" Barbie said.

"Ow! Listen to me! Listen to me! You're not really a space ranger!" Buzz yelled as he was tied to the box and put back into it. "You're a toy! We're all toys! Do you hear me?!"

"Well, that should hold you till the court martial."

"Let me go!

"You don't realize what you're doing!"

"And this is the Buzz Lightyear aisle. Back in 1995 shortsighted retailers did not order enough dolls to meet demand" Tour Guide Barbie said as they saw New Buzz.

"Hey, Buzz!" Hamm said.

"Halt! Who goes there?" New Buzz said pointing the laser at them.

"Quit clownin' around and get in the car" Mr. Potato Head said.

"Buzz! Buzz! I know how to defeat Zurg!" Rex said.

"You do?" New Buzz asked.

"Come on. I'll tell you on the way" Rex said as Buzz hopped into the car as they couldn't hear the real Buzz screaming.

"No, no, guys! You've got the wrong Buzz! You've got the wrong Buzz!"

"Say, where'd you get the cool belt, Buzz?" Hamm asked.

"Well, slotted pig, they're standard issue" New Buzz said.

"No!" Buzz yelled as they drove off.

Once the car drove away Jason ran down the aisle to where Buzz was trying to break free.

"Hold on Buzz!" Jason pulling Buzz box out onto the ground and opened the bottom to get him out.

"Hey, Woody, are you in here?" Slinky said as they searched Al office.

"Nah. This one's empty too" Hamm said.

"Woody!" Max yelled checking a drawer.

"Pardon me, gentlemen, but have either of you seen a cowboy doll with a bad arm?" Slinky asked two Rockem Sockem Robots.

"Why, no, I haven't."

"Hey! He was talkin' to me!"

"No, he was talkin' to me!"

"Why, you... I'll..." they yelled as they began to fight.

"You see, all along we thought the way into Zurg's fortress was through the main gate but in fact, the secret entrance is to the left, hidden in the shadows" Rex said to New Buzz.

"To the left and in the shadows. Got it." New Buzz said as they heard Al coming.

"It's Al!" Hamm said.

"Someone's coming." Rex said.

"Everyone take cover" New Buzz said.

"No, it was a big pile-up, but I don't want to bore you with the details. Yes. Now, let me confirm your fax number...W-W-Wait. Slow. That's a lot of numbers. No, I got it." Al said typing on the fax and sending pictures

"It's him" Slinky growled.

"The chicken man" Hamm said

"Funny, he doesn't look like poultry" New Buzz said.

"That's the kidnapper, all right" Slinky said.

"A kidnapper? An agent of Zurg if I ever saw one" New Buzz said.

"And the pièce de résistance I promise the collection will be the crown jewel of your museum" Al said as a picture of Woody flew down in front of them.

"That's Woody!" Slinky said.

"Now that I have your attention...imagine we added another zero to the price, huh? I no care! Yes, yes, yes, yes! Yes! Yes! You got a deal! I'll be on the next flight to Japan!"

"Quick, get into the poultry man's cargo unit. He'll lead us to Zurg. Move, move, move" New Buzz said as they climbed into Al bag.

"Don't touch my mustache!" Mr. Potato Head said.

"Al, you are rich! Rich, rich, rich!" Al said as Jason and Buzz spotted him

"Huh?"

"After him!" Jason said as they went after Al knocking over some toys to get outside and to chase Al to his car and unknowingly free Zurg.

"He didn't take the bag!" Hamm said as they all got out of the bag.

"No time to lose! He's ascending in the vertical transporter!" New Buzz said as he opened his wings, "All right, everyone, hang on. We're gonna blast through the roof" he said grabbing all of them.

"Uh, Buzz?" Slinky said

"To infinity and beyond!" New Buzz yelled as they all stared at him trying to fly.

"What are you, insane? We're wasting time! Stand still, Godzilla" Mr. Potato Head said.

"I-I don't understand. Somehow my fuel cells have gone dry" New Buzz said as they saw what floor Al was going to in the elevator.

"How are we gonna get up there?" Slinky asked.

"Maybe if we find some balloons we could float to the top" Slinky said.

"Are you kidding? I say we stack ourselves up, push the intercom and pretend we're delivering a pizza" Mr. Potato Head said.

"How about a ham sandwich with fries and a hot dog?" Hamm said.

"What about me?" Rex asked.

"Eh, you can be the toy that comes with the meal" Hamm said.

"Troops, over here!" New Buzz said opening a gate to the elevator.

"Just like you said, lizard man in the shadows to the left Okay, let's move!" he said as they ran into the air duct. "Mission log. Have infiltrated enemy territory without detection...and are making our way through the bowels of Zurg's fortress."

"You know, I think that Buzz aisle went to his head" Hamm said as they reached a three way path.

"Oh, no. Which way do we go?" Slinky asked.

"This way" New Buzz said heading down one of the paths

"What makes you so sure?" Mr. Potato Head said.

"I'm Buzz Lightyear. I'm always sure" New Buzz said as they heard the elevator.

"We've been detected! The walls! They're closing in! Quick, help me prop up vegetable man, or we're done for!" New Buzz said holding up Potato Head.

"Hey! Hey! Put me down, you moron!"

"Hey, guys, look! It's not the walls! It's the elevator!" Slinky said as they looked to the elevator in front of them and above them many flights to go.

"Come on. We've got no time to lose. Everyone, grab hold" he said giving Potato Head as pull string from his belt and pulled out two blue suction cups and began to climb the wall.

"Huh?"

"Uh, Buzz, why not just take the elevator?" Hamm asked.

"They'll be expecting that" New Buzz said.

After getting across the street Jason and Buzz dropped their traffic cones as they saw Rex foot prints leading into an air vent as they heard Rex.

"Hey, Buzz! Stop! Slow down!" Rex voice echoed.

"Come on!" Jason said.

A. Review.