Notes: Sequel to Light My Way Home, set a few weeks afterwards.
Warning: non-graphic discussion of past rape.
The sea stretched before her like a mirror, still and smooth. Magic held it flat so that the reflections of all those watching her came from the sea. This was King Triton's magic, his gift to them. She stood on the sand beside Emma, her feet wrapped in soft leather boots. She'd worn white for the last wedding and even with Emma at her side, she couldn't face it again.
Regina wore pale blue as she'd been fond of, long ago, and Emma wore red and gold, as her father had once, in a lifetime past. She looked regal, though she'd loathe admitting it. Emma was the heir, and she was the one the kingdom had turned out to see.
Staring at Snow, Regina remembered striding into her wedding almost as a dream. Her terrible anger was quiet now. Daniel had told her to love again and somehow she had, not only Henry (who'd been so easy to love when he'd arrived as a baby), but Emma. She'd never thought her life could take this path or that she'd ever want to be married again, and to the saviour who'd broken her curse of all people. Love rarely made sense and she'd lost all her family to gain Henry, Emma and the unborn little one who still only seemed to make her presence known through a combination of sore breasts, overly attuned senses and headaches.
Emma knew she was there and her loving attention made the baby seem more real. She spoke to her, kissed the flesh over her as she slept and promised that when she came, she'd be loved.
Was now the first time in her life she'd suffered an abundance instead of a lack of affection? Her father had loved her, and her mother, in their way, but her father hadn't been able to save her and her mother's love came with pain. There was no reproach in David's eyes as he watched his daughter take the hands of the woman who'd tried to take his life. Snow radiated benevolent joy and forgiveness: a perfect queen in ivory silk. Neither of them asked her to be anything more than she was. No one cared that Emma preferred breeches to dresses and there was no disappointment in Henry's eyes as he stared at his mothers.
Was this what she'd been missing? Was this the kind of love everyone waxed poetic about? Love that came without control and bargaining, where no one asked her to be good.
Snow seemed to trust her implicitly, but was that because she'd bought and tested Regina's loyalty by risking Emma's life? Regina hadn't been able to ask about the mine, thinking of the choking dust in the air brought up a panic she couldn't yet deal with. Something had happened the morning the mine had collapsed, something dark that no one spoke of. Was Rumpelstiltskin's hand in that? Life meant little to him. He would have sacrificed Emma without hesitation, now that her purpose was complete. Regina had also served her purpose. There was no reason to redeem her, nothing to be gained by destroying the kingdom's fear of her with Emma's blood.
These were accusations she couldn't make. She didn't dare shake the acceptance that kept her from prison. Regina was Emma's true love and the entire kingdom knew it. Did it really matter how it had come to pass?
Snow wouldn't, she couldn't, but if she had, if that darkness in her heart had hold of her-
Could darkness be redeemed? Had Regina's heart been saved by Emma's gift of her own? If David already loved Snow, what could save her?
Regina knelt at Snow's feet beside Emma, her knees against the magically still sea. The genie would be in it, as he was in everything that watched her, but he'd had to watch so much of her with Emma that he'd pulled away, gone quiet in his self-inflicted prison. Did he resent her for loving Emma the way she'd never loved him? Did he think this too was a farce as her love for him had been?
Cora would have hated her for kneeling, especially to Snow White. Yet as Snow praised their love and asked them to rise joined as one, Regina only felt peace. Snow could rule the kingdom and deal with the petty squabbles of the peasants as they rebuilt their lives, she had her only little family to take care of, and a life she hadn't lived. She'd been the queen, then the Evil Queen and somewhere along the way she'd lost Regina.
Emma knew her, and she was starting to see pieces of herself again. Sometimes on patrol with Ruby she felt like her old self, momentarily free in the woods.
Except her freedom never stopped. Emma would never bind her with magic to make her stay and for that, she'd never have a need.
Snow stood on the water as if it were marble of her throne room with Triton on one side, his tail wrapped in a pillar of water, and David on the other. Henry was on David's right, smiling and trying to be proper. He always dressed as merfolk now, no longer bothering with clothing over his narrow little chest. His father was on land today, back by Rumpelstiltskin and Belle. Did it sting to watch Emma marry another? Was he happy that she'd found what he hadn't given her?
She couldn't see much beyond Emma's smiling face, and slowly her thoughts quieted. Emma had her hands and they traded rings. These were enchanted, a gift from the fairies and dwarves, so that Emma and Regina could always find each other.
Dreading there would be a need to find Emma again, Regina looked into her eyes and hope, unfamiliar but beautiful, rose in her chest.
Promising herself to Emma was easy, and she did it with a gladness she'd never expected to feel. Being bound was her greatest fear, but Emma brought no chains. She nearly feared something would happen before Emma finished her own promise. Regina didn't deserve this, yet it happened. By the law of their land, the laws of magic and the oldest laws of life and death never scratched to parchment, Emma was hers and she was Regina's.
When it was done, Regina forgot to be afraid. She let go of waiting for something, anything, to go wrong, and when Emma took her arm to walk back to the sand, even the chill in the air didn't reach her.
Leaves fell around them, dancing on the mirrored sea. They were married and nothing could break it.
Emma kissed her, then kissed her again, holding her so close and so tightly that they exhaled together, sharing a moment of relief.
They were wed.
Henry was first to hold them. He smelt of the sea, salty and wild, but he was their little boy. Triton's magic gave him water that served almost as legs, letting him embrace them both as if he were not trapped in the sea. He'd given up his legs for them both, so Emma's magic could save them all. He still seemed guilty, as if there were some dark sorrow he hadn't told them.
Perhaps in time he'd change his mind. He could be so stubborn when he wanted to be. He was both of their son in that respect, somehow tougher than them both. Had she done that to him or would Henry always have been so strong?
He didn't feel the cold. Even though all the humans on the water and the beach wore long cloaks, Henry hugged them with a bare chest. Merfolk magic had its ways, and neither of his mother's understood much of it.
He seemed happy. His smile was sincere and he laughed as Emma made jokes about all the things that could have gone wrong.
It was perfect. Somehow they were perfect and she didn't know how to just let it all in. Emma's hand was her lifeline and she clung to it as they and Henry were swarmed by the kingdom. Few dared to approach Regina any closer than to kiss her hand, but Ruby dared to hug her and the Widow Lucas (who had asked to be Granny to everyone even though it was not her name), remained long enough to meet Regina's eyes.
She took her shoulders, as if appraising her and then hugged her with a strength that gave away the creature she'd once been.
"Congratulations, Regina. I hope you'll be very happy together." She pulled her close and when she whispered, it was for Regina alone. "You take care of yourself and that baby now."
Regina tried to bury her surprise because Ruby wouldn't have told her. She'd promised. She must have flinched, but Granny patted her to reassure her. "Even if I couldn't smell it, your breasts would have given it away. Any woman who's had a child is going to see it if she's at all observant."
Perhaps Emma was not the only one who'd noticed how much they'd changed.
Granny patted her cheek before moving on. "You're almost radiant as well, dear."
Thankfully the dwarves followed and none of them dared anything more than polite congratulations. Was it easier to accept darkness when you carried it within yourself? The fairies certainly weren't ready to embrace her, and only Blue, their leader, even addressed Regina at all.
She touched the ring on her tiny hand, bringing out a silver glow. "If you are separated, these will lead you to each other, always. We could think of no greater gift to give you."
"Thank you," Regina said, hoping it sounded sincere. The rings were beautiful, and though the hypocrisy of the acceptance of magic only when it suited 'good' often frustrated her, here she could be grateful.
"I hope we won't often have need of them."
"Or ever, really," Emma said, dropping her arm to Regina's waist. "But it's great to have them. Thank you, thank you all."
Emma sounded more regal every day, whether she believed it or not.
"Well, this is a development no one predicted, isn't it, dearies?" Rumpelstiltskin kissed Regina's hand first, then bowed slightly lower to kiss Emma's.
"I think it's wonderful," Belle said, hugging Emma tightly.
Regina, who'd kidnapped her, did not expect any such affection. Belle was polite, kinder than Regina would have thought she'd be, but she was forever underestimating the abilities of others to forgive. Was it part of being 'good' to let go so easily? One flash of true love and the Evil Queen could be the Saviour's wife. Everyone would be polite about it, but was it truly that easy?
Belle hid no malice in her eyes but relief ran through Regina when Aurora, Mulan and Phillip followed. None of them knew her, and she had no history with them. They were easier to smile at and accept that their congratulations were genuine.
Aurora had been raised to be unfailing polite, because she was a princess, yet her embrace was genuine and kind. Mulan and Philip were more reserved, both kissing her hand and it was easy enough to smile at them both.
Snow stood just beyond them, close enough that she could see if anyone failed to be polite to their Princess and her consort. The line of guests went on and on until all the faces that weren't really happy to see her blurred together.
Emma held her, pulling her a little closer when someone's eyes were particularly strained. No one would speak against their princess, and it was a different, less visceral fear than they'd had of Regina when she was queen. When it finally ended, she took a moment of Emma for her own and held her.
Tugging at her corseted bodice, Emma sighed. "I was hoping you'd wear the corset."
"Someday, dear," Regina promised. Resting her hand on Emma's chest, she stole a glance down at her belly. Her dress clung a little, but her stomach was rounder than it had been when she'd first been fitted. It was good that they hadn't waited. The dressmakers would have certainly realised Regina's condition if they'd seen her more then twice.
"You okay? No sneaky dark magic at the reception? No kidlet swimming around your insides?"
Wincing a little at the literal idea of that thought, Regina shook her head. "I'm fine. I'm so happy I don't think my stomach dare do anything."
"I was nervous this morning," Emma said. Rubbing Regina's arms through the thin fabric of her dress, she pulled Regina's cloak a little tighter. "Then I saw you, and I knew this was right."
"Marriage is right because you find me so sexually irresistible?"
"Yeah, that's how it works, doesn't it?"
Regina kissed her. "Yes, dear. That's the point of marriage."
Emma's hand brushed against her swollen breast. "Good, because I am so ready for the wedding night."
"You don't think we've practiced enough?"
"Humour me. I've never had wedding night sex and I've heard all about it. Romantic comedies would never lie to me, would they?"
"Emma-"
"After dinner, you're mine." Emma's hands dropped suggestively to her lower back.
"Didn't I already promise to be yours?"
"I don't think anyone would have forgiven me for taking you right there, in front of the kingdom."
Regina leaned close, toying with Emma's breast beneath her jacket. "Who knew you had such an exhibitionist streak."
"When it comes to you, I think I could do anything." Emma kissed her neck, then stood back. "We need to get back. Henry will be waiting for us."
"And your parents, and the rest of the kingdom. Weddings aren't for the couple getting married, they're a show for everyone else." Her last wedding had dragged on into the small hours of the night where the end of her performance had been for Leopold alone.
Perhaps Emma would be enough to soften those memories for good. She never flinched from sex and she'd quickly learned to control it, how to be safe, but once she'd been a frightened young woman who knew not what was going to happen to her when her wedding dress came off.
"All the more reason to hurry up and get to the night, right?" Taking her hand, Emma drew Regina back to the crowd. "You and me, we can smile and be nice and carb up for tonight."
"Emma-"
"Now is about them, later, well, later is just you and me, and I love you." Emma's thumb ran across Regina's palm. "I especially love you naked."
The shiver than ran up her spine only had a little fear, which was already progress. She had no reason to be afraid of Emma, nor of going to bed with her, but old memories were slow to die. Emma would understand, if only Regina could find the words to explain.
King Triton's spell had great power, and for one evening, all the merfolk on the shore of the Enchanted Forest, walked on the land. It was a wedding gift of sorts, allowing Henry to be with his mothers, in their home, when he'd given so much of himself away. He ran as soon as his legs appeared, laughing as he emerged from the sea. The other merfolk were less hasty, walking was odd for them, even Triton, who had admitted he'd never used this power before.
His great trident made such things possible, because it controlled the seas in a way nothing Emma had seen could. Even Rumpelstiltskin was impressed and it took great magic for him to raise an eyebrow. Regina hugged Henry tight and barely let him go so everyone else could hug him too. Triton's spell had dressed them all in cloth of the sea, which glimmered like sunlit water, and seemed to be warm enough for the cool evening. Henry, Triton, Ariel, three of her sisters and all of Triton's Enchanted Forest diplomats came to the wedding feast.
Much of it had to be vegetarian, and Snow had been careful to make sure no fish was offered. Land animals were outside the realm of Triton's control and the eating of them was less offensive, but none of his people touched any of the meat. Nor did Henry, and though he'd only been away just more than a month, his mannerism had already changed. He was slow to take up knife and fork, because the merfolk used no utensils. He drank nothing, because they had no liquids that they imbibed. Emma watched the dark sorrow grow in Regina's eyes, and tried to stay close to her. He was already changing, but he was happy. It wasn't just giddy joy to see his family again, he'd found something of himself beneath the sea.
They'd have the occasional visit between worlds, but Henry's world seemed to already be starting to change. He told stories of playing with whales, swimming from sharks and maintaining the reefs. Regina started to approve a little when Henry mentioned the chores he had. Just like Ariel, he had a section of the ocean to maintain and many responsibilities that far exceeded just keeping his toys put away and doing his homework. Baelfire had begun to tutor him in what he knew of the Enchanted Forest, and though Emma worried that his lessons might turn Henry even further from magic, Henry's academic progressed seemed to be enough to make Regina happy.
Something was bothering her, and Emma suspected it was more than Henry. She was thrilled about the wedding, radiant with joy, but it was tempered. Perhaps she had poor memories of weddings, or the way that the entire kingdom seemed to be here to support Emma and her family and only tolerated their former queen was harder on her than she let on. While Emma adored listening to Henry's stories, she wanted to be alone with Regina, and not just to take off her gorgeous dress a little bit at a time. Holding her hand when she could helped, but it wasn't Regina in her arms, and being the centre of attention was an exhausting responsibility.
Her mother said all crowns were heavy, and even the little tiara Emma had agreed to wear at the wedding seemed to be made of stone when she thought of how many people still wanted to congratulate her. She tried to do most of the talking, making sure Regina ate because she wasn't sure when either of them had eaten lunch. When Snow and David finally announced the bedding ceremony.
Emma leaned in towards Regina. "I suppose we can't just announce that we need no fertility blessings at this time."
"It would break several traditions," Regina said. She struggled to maintain her smile, but she valiantly kept it.
Was she just tired? Emma glanced at her mother. Snow had her queen's smile, not the one Emma knew just as her mother's. She was missing something. There was some nuance, some history Emma didn't know. Regina and Snow shared a look as the Blue Fairy explained the importance of the bedding ceremony and then Emma caught on.
Regina had been through this bedding ceremony, for this kingdom once before, with a man she didn't love. Snow had been there then, and perhaps the Blue Fairy had also been the one to bless Regina and Snow's father. Emma should have realised sooner when she could have done something about it. Had that first wedding night been worse than she imagined? Had Regina known anything about sex? Cora, heartless as she was, couldn't have been very supportive.
She kissed Regina's cheek, wishing she could apologise for not thinking ahead. Much of her kingdom was still a mystery to Emma and now she'd failed to protect Regina from reliving a difficult past.
"I'll take Regina," Snow said, smiling with serene happiness, "For she has long been my family." Ruby, Ella and Granny went with her, standing behind. That was good because Ruby was Regina's partner on patrol, maybe they were closer than Emma thought. Granny was brusque, but caring. Ella and Regina had no history, and Ella was a dear friend of Snow's. Maybe they could calm her because they'd be kind.
She hugged Henry one more time, holding him tight before she released him back to the dancing. He came with the line of the farandole all the way to Emma, so she grabbed him.
"Love you, kid."
"Have fun, Mom."
"Oh she will," Aurora said. Her eyes were bright from liquor and excitement.
Henry winced and ducked away, disappearing into the dance he only had a few more hours to enjoy.
"Then we'll take Emma!" Belle and Aurora headed for her, giggling, with a more serious Mulan in tow. Kathryn- Princess Abigail of the former lands of Midas- Emma corrected herself, invited Ariel and her sisters and Emma's boisterous bedding party surrounded her, leaving the great hall full of men, music and drink.
The smoke from the great fires hung in the stairs, adding the sweetness of woodsmoke to the air. Surrounded, Emma began to lose her clothing as they climbed. Everyone was taking things, bits of ribbon, buttons and other pieces of Emma's coat she'd thought were bizarrely oversewn.
"For luck," Belle said, holding one up. "Anything you've had on is lucky."
"Anything?" Emma repeated, hoping she'd have something left when she reached her chambers. They stopped in one of the bedrooms, peeling off Emma's boots as they pushed her down to the bed.
Aurora undid the complex braid in Emma's hair, Mulan took the buttons of her bodice, Belle had the laces and all of them laughed and joked as they stripped her. It was like a sleepover, fuelled with mead and wine. The sweetness of mead was on the breath of the women around her and Emma relaxed into the odd tradition. She was closer to Regina with each piece of clothing they took from her.
Her boots hit the floor and lay abandoned, her coat fell victim next, then her bodice, sleeves and breeches.
Ariel and her sisters watched more than they joined in, completely fascinated. The magical dresses made of seawater that they all wore had no fastenings of any kind nor any layers. Emma's complicated bridal clothing had to be one of the strangest things they'd seen.
"Do you always wear so much?
"Why are there different buttons?"
"Doesn't wearing such complicated clothing take up too much of your time? Couldn't you just wrap yourselves in blankets and stay warm that way?"
Their questions continued to fly, but Emma didn't need to answer them. She was for Regina.
Mulan brushed out Emma's hair, freeing it from the braids across her head and letting it fall. Her hands, strong and gentle, made it quick work. Soon they had Emma down to her shift. It was silk, smooth as butter against her skin and left very little to anyone's imagination.
Aurora rubbed Emma's arms, trying to keep her warm. "There's a fire in your room."
Standing on the fur on the cool stone, Emma nodded. "Good."
"Regina will keep you warm," Belle said with a wicked grin. "Ready?"
Nearly naked, with her hair down on her shoulders, Emma shrugged. "I am if you guys are."
Kissing her cheek, Aurora sighed happily. "You're beautiful."
The kissing seemed to be a thing because everyone did it, even the mermaids. Aurora took Emma's hand and led her from the room with her abandoned clothing to the bedroom, her bedroom. The sheets and blankets were already turned down, a fire crackled in the hearth, two glasses of wine waited for them on a table and Emma flicked her fingers towards one of them.
She'd been trying to master the purification spell and taking the alcohol out of drinks was the easiest poison-removing practice.
Mulan gave her a questioning look.
"Regina said she had a headache. Wine makes it worse."
"So you?" Aurora began.
"Turned it to grape juice, I think. It might be purple water, sometimes I go to far." Emma lifted the glass and sniffed it. "Grape juice."
"Now you get in the bed." Belle arranged the pillows so Emma and Regina would be able to sit comfortably. "When Queen Snow brings Regina in, she'll get in with you, the Blue Fairy will bless you both and we'll all leave to let you enjoy yourselves."
Emma climbed into the bed and tried not to think about how weird it was to be surrounded by women she barely knew while she got ready for her first night as a married woman. It was good that Snow was with Regina. This is was weird enough to be almost funny for Emma, but Snow would be kind in a way Regina might need.
"We should have gone with your tradition," Emma said to Mulan.
"Kidnapping the bride and making you ransom her would have been fun."
Wrapping her arms around her chest, Emma frowned. "I would have given you guys anything."
"Hence the fun."
The door creaked open; the heavy oak dragged a little across the stone. Ruby came first, holding a candle and smiling. Granny followed her with the Blue Fairy just over her shoulder. Then Snow, holding Regina's hand as if she were her mother, bringing her to give her away.
Regina's smile was bright but still forced. The tightness around her eyes had nothing to do with happiness. Maybe she really did have a headache and Emma's little lie was truer than she thought. Perhaps the wedding had tired her out enough that they'd spend the night holding each other, which was entirely fine. Emma wanted to grab Regina close and hold her until that smile was real.
Snow kissed Regina's cheek, just as Aurora had. "I'm so happy for you both."
Regina's smile had truth to it for a moment, then she joined Emma in the bed. Emma slipped her foot across, sharing the contact of their bare feet beneath the blankets. Belle and Snow handed over the goblets of wine and the newly purified grape juice and Regina and Emma held them up.
The Blue Fairy raised her wand above them in benediction. Her words were old, hanging in the air like cobwebs. She'd never heard anything like them. Maybe it was fairy speak, or some kind of ancient tongue. Whatever language it was, Emma didn't know and it was a little creepy to be covered in sparkles, but she had her wine, so she drank it. The red warmed her chest all the way to her stomach.
Regina nudged her foot, thanking her for changing the wine. Emma really needed to learn to do it the other way. Water into wine was supposed to be the saviour's best party trick.
"May your union be blessed," Snow said. She circled to Emma's side of the bed and kissed her cheek. "I love you." She reached for Regina's shoulder and stroked it. "And you, I love you."
The tears Regina had been fighting began to seep through her control. Belle took their goblets. Mulan stoked the fire. Ruby blew out all the candles save the one wrapped in ribbons and flowers because that one would burn all night as a symbol of their union. Ariel and her sisters waved and left the room, giggling. Aurora fixed their blankets one last time and then only Snow was left.
She smiled, warmth lighting her face. "I suppose I don't need to tell you two what to do."
"We're all right, Mom."
"I know you are." Snow's eyes rested on them both in turn, then she left, sealing them in together.
Ready to kiss Regina properly, Emma turned to her and immediately changed her mind. When she embraced her, Regina trembled in her arms and her tears came even faster.
"Hey-"
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry, just tell me. What is it? What's wrong?"
"Nothing."
"Regina-"
"I'm so sorry."
Emma held her, leaning back on the pillows and watching the fire play in the hearth. "Sorry for what?"
"Being a mess."
"I think a certain amount of wedding day mess is entirely fair. It's been a very long day."
"That's not-"
"Okay, what is it?" Silence hung heavy besides the murmuring of the fire.
Regina curled closer into Emma's chest and Emma pulled up the blankets, in case she was cold. "I keep thinking about my mother."
"Your mother?"
"I was so angry, about Daniel. I made a deal with Rumpelstiltskin, I pushed her through a mirror with magic into another realm."
Emma ran her fingers through Regina's hair and wondered who'd brushed it. Probably Ruby, while Snow fussed with Regina's dress. She waited for Regina to continue.
"I read that part in the book."
"She didn't tell me."
"Tell you what?"
Regina tried to take a slow, calming breath but she failed entirely and her trembling only worsened. "About a husband and wife."
"A husband and wife?" The wine and all the wine before that clouded her head. "What about them?"
Shaking her head, Regina clung to the sheet, balling her hand into a fist.
Emma was an idiot. "No one told you about sex."
"My mother would have, I think, but I was so angry with her. Snow and the ladies of the court took me through the bedding ceremony and Snow was so happy I was her mother but no one told me what was going to happen. I'd been so sheltered. I'd heard the maids gossiping a little but mother never let them speak to me."
"And Snow's father?"
She didn't need to ask. A king with a daughter already, who'd loved his first wife, had been presented with a beautiful, confused, hurt young woman who'd just banished her abusive mother. It was a real mess.
"My first time was awkward," Emma began. "I was kind of drunk and I wanted to be cool, not a prude, so I said I'd done it before, that I knew what I was doing, but then it hurt, more than I thought, and it still hurt the next day and I thought I'd done it all wrong."
"Was it Baelfire?"
"Just a guy. I spent the night then but it was stupid. We were hungover and awkward in the morning and I was sore. By the time I got to Baelfire I knew what I wanted from a guy, at least, I convinced myself that I did."
Regina's hand released her the death grip of the sheet and she shook her fingers, as if trying to force herself to relax. "I was tense. I think it hurt more because I was. I was so afraid. I'd never even seen a naked man and I didn't want to cry because I didn't want him to know how much I- I didn't know there was room for him inside of me and it hurt but I was supposed to be queen, I had to be good-"
Hushing her, Emma stroked her arms over and over. "It's all right."
"I'm terrified." Regina shifted so she straddled Emma's legs, trying to hold herself together. "Part of me wants to run from the room, but it's you and I'm not afraid of you. It doesn't make any sense."
"It's okay. You were afraid then and you didn't deal with it. Now is a lot like then, but so you're terrified." Emma reached for Regina's cold, hands and took them, ignoring the sweat that coated Regina's skin. "We can go."
"Go? Where?"
"Outside, or to another room. We can sleep under the stars on the battlements if you want."
Regina squeezed her hands. "That won't be necessary."
"It could be fun."
"Fairies are determined voyeurs, my dear. I don't particularly feel like putting on a show."
Emma ran her thumbs along the back of Regina's hands. "Okay."
Regina dropped her head, resting it against Emma's forehead. Her tears left little spots of dampness on Emma's shift. "I don't want to be afraid."
"You either get through it or you let it go. I used to try to get through it. Grit my teeth, tell myself I didn't care what happened to me. I liked to fuck and I didn't care about the emotional consequences. So I fucked people and left before morning. The only person I've woken up next to since Baelfire is you, and you're the only person I ever want to wake up next to again." Emma spent a moment smiling at Regina's belly. "Or the kid. It would be nice if she slept here for awhile."
"You believe in co-sleeping?" Regina's mind switched tracks completely and Emma stared.
"What's that?"
"Having the baby sleep in our bed."
She'd stumbled onto some kind of parenting thing she knew nothing about and couldn't look up on the internet.
"Don't you? At least for awhile? It seems kind of stupid to put the kid in another room when you're just going to have to get up and grab her when she cries."
Regina smiled, really smiled so that the fear faded from her. "You haven't read any of the books about parenting, have you?"
"I haven't exactly been able to get onto Amazon." If talking about the baby meant happy, glowing Regina instead of a terrified one, Emma could work with that. "Is there some kind of controversy I should know about?"
Rocking back, Regina sat on the bed, holding one of Emma's hands against her belly as if there was something there to feel. "I tried to read everything. Attachment parenting, co-sleeping, teaching your baby to sleep through the night. There weren't any right answers and Henry, let's say he didn't agree with any of the books I read."
Flattening her hand against Regina's belly, Emma tried to imagine how tiny their baby was beneath her skin. "Is there stuff you want me to know? I can't exactly read the books you did."
"We'll figure it out. There's no formula so I'll have to breastfeed, or we'll need a wetnurse, so that debate's solved. We only have cloth diapers. There's no really much of an argument about which stroller we'll get because they don't exist." Exhaling finally seemed to relax her.
"Mulan said she'd teach me how to tie a baby on like they do in Qin. That seemed pretty handy."
"Oh?"
"Yeah, you-" Emma paused and looked round the room. Grabbing a long stole from one of the chairs, she wrapped it around her waist. "Hand me a pillow."
Skeptical but willing, Regina handed over a pillow. Emma fussed with the stole for awhile, then managed to wrap it around herself and the pillow so it was against her chest.
"Something like this. She does it better."
"The warrior knows about childcare?"
Tossing the pillow back at her, Emma returned to the bed. "Some people have had varied life experiences, your highness the princess-consort."
"Your Royal Highness the Princess Consort," Regina corrected. "That's the formal address. You and I are just princesses for everyday."
"Well that's new for you, isn't it?"
"I don't care what my title is." Regina stripped off her shift, dropping it to the floor where it lay in a puddle of silk. "I care about you."
Chuckling, Emma sat up, now Regina had her full attention. "So we're doing this now?"
"Only if you want to," Regina teased, trailing a hand lazily down her own neck. "I think you were looking forward to this for some reason."
Rising to her knees, Emma removed her own shift, letting it slide to the floor with Regina's. The heat of the fire reached her skin and with that look in Regina's eyes, she couldn't be cold. Her hair tickled her back as she crawled towards Regina on the bed.
"You're okay?"
"Must have been hormones."
Shaking her head, Emma toyed with a piece of Regina's hair. "You don't need to do anything for me. I love you. I'll love you if we never have sex again."
"Really?"
"Yes, really. I'd be devastated."
"Clearly."
"But I'd love you."
Regina's lips curled, playful now that she was safe. "You will always love me?"
"It's what we do in my family. We're an always sort of bunch."
Regina's hand slipped down Emma's chest, heading for her navel. "And if I want you?"
"You know I'm yours."
"Do I?"
"Absolutely."
Regina's cool fingers danced across Emma's hip, tapping out a pattern that made sense only to her. "You're sure you don't want to grab all the blankets and head to the top of the tower?"
Widening her legs, Emma adopted an innocent look. "You think you can wait that long? That's a lot of stairs."
"Are you calling me impatient?"
"Yeah."
Regina's hand dropped all the way down to tease the ache between Emma's legs. "Really? Me impatient?"
Emma's voice broke a little, but she still had some control. "I want you to do this because you want it, not because it's our wedding night and you feel like you have to. We can talk about the baby and cuddle-" The offer died in her throat, turning into a moan.
"I'm sure it's you now," Regina whispered. Staring into her eyes, she started to tease Emma's clit with slick fingers. "I'm safe with you."
"We should talk about-" Emma's protest died in a gasp. She caught her breath again. "-About your husband. It's not good to shove things down."
Regina rubbed her breasts against Emma's, pressing the need to decrease the space between them. "Tomorrow?"
Her legs parted legs offered the soft black curls and the promise of Regina's wet arousal beneath. Emma reached up towards her, tracing her fingers along Regina's thigh.
"Soon," Emma promised. "It doesn't have to be tomorrow, but it should be soon. You don't need to be afraid anymore. You're safe."
"With you."
"Together, we're safe together." Emma punctuated her promise by sliding one of her fingers just across Regina's labia enough to gather some of the wetness of her arousal. The pad of her index finger rolled slowly across Regina's clit, drawing a little gasp.
Regina's eyes seemed darker; her stare more intense. Looking at her, through her, while touching her was the kind of crazy intimate that Emma had never bothered to have with anyone else. Regina lived in her soul, filling her up beyond what she'd once thought was her capacity to love. Emma never wanted responsibilities; she wasn't good enough for anyone to depend on her, but now was different. She could handle it, right? Maybe if she took it in parts. Love Regina, love the kids safe, love her parents, love the realm: if she started with the easy ones, maybe she could handle the big one.
Be wife and mother first, then fill in the rest.
Regina rose above her, then slipped her thigh between Emma's. The soft friction against her leg was less intense than Regina's hand and that was probably better if either of them wanted this to last. Her breasts hung over Emma, so rounded by her pregnancy that Regina complained that they already itched. Emma cupped them with her hands, supporting them from beneath. Her nipples hardened against Emma's palms, dark against Regina's olive skin.
"Gently," Regina protested, though the breathiness of her voice suggested Emma hadn't been too rough.
"Is it better with you on the bottom?" Emma asked, raising her leg from the bed to taunt the inside of Regina's thighs. "We can swap."
"They're always sore-"
Rubbing a thumb across Regina's nipple made her gasp, again.
"-And sensitive."
Emma kissed her from the bed, then rolled them both so Regina lay on the bed beneath her. Licking her way down Regina's neck, she smiled. "Better?"
"Perhaps."
Regina's hands kept reaching, dipping inside Emma then circling her clit. She held herself up, focusing on the skin of Regina's stomach and trying to ignore her sore breasts. Regina's attention to her clit made it hard to keep her balance, so Emma shifted, dropping her mouth all the way down and lifting Regina's hips to pulled her clit into her mouth.
"Emma-" Regina aroused past the ability to speak was incredibly sexy. Her parted lips only gasped instead of forming words. Slipping her tongue down, then inside, Emma tried to prolong climax, letting up enough for Regina to catch her breath. Forcing her to rise again, Emma turned her breathing quick and desperate.
Regina tried to pull herself back, squirming beneath Emma's mouth, but Emma wanted to watch her go over the brink. The deep darkness of her eyes, the heady sound of her breathing and the way for just a moment, everything stopped, made Regina's orgasms truly beautiful. Pulling back just a little, Emma replaced her lips with her slick fingers and kissed her way back up towards Regina's mouth. Regina grabbed the sheet this time with a much more pleasant desperation.
"I love you," Emma muttered into her neck. "I love you."
Catching her head, Regina pulled Emma's eyes up so they were inches apart. Emma lost herself in Regina's eyes, almost forgetting the physical side of pleasure as connection washed over her. This had an intimacy she still wasn't quite sure what to do with. Regina knew her, all the way to her darkest places, and neither of them would pull away.
They traded orgasms, back and forth, sweat dampening the sheets. Emma's hair hung in a mass of soft curls and Regina's flipped out in all the oddest places. The sheets, tangled beyond hope, bunched at the bottom of the bed. Emma's heart raced, her body finding the strength for so much pleasure. It was well past midnight when they held each other softly instead of hungrily.
Regina sat up and immediately gave up on the sheets. The blankets weren't as soft, but they were so much easier to move. Emma rolled to her back, letting Regina curl against her side. That and spooning were the most comfortable so far, and Regina liked having her head on Emma's shoulder.
Their candle burned low by the window, softening the darkness in the room.
"You okay?"
"I can't believe you need to ask."
Emma laughed, squeezing Regina's wrist. "I like to."
"My toes tingle."
"That's pretty normal."
"It only is with you." Regina patted Emma's chest. "You ought to take that as a compliment."
"The noises you make are all I really need."
"Says the woman who shrieked."
"You don't know what that was like. I thought I was done."
"You always push me again."
"Because I think it's adorable that you can get another one. I can't-"
"The shriek says otherwise."
"I couldn't," Emma amended. "I thought I was going to pass out."
"I'd have found a way to wake you." Regina kissed Emma's breast before settling back down. "They're going to bring us breakfast."
"Oh?"
"Two knocks and they'll leave it outside the door."
"When does anyone expect us to come up for air?"
Regina curled closer, so warm against Emma's skin. "Dinner."
"Marriage has its benefits," Emma finished, lifting Regina's hand to kiss it. "Here's to not venturing out until dinner."
Rumpelstiltskin met her at the entrance of the mine, his cane tapping against the stone. Snow stepped from the darkness, letting him see her before they both disappeared into the shadows.
"It worked."
"It was close," Snow said. "You underestimated the power she'd have to deal with."
"This was a cursed land, your majesty, that darkness doesn't immediately ebb away simply because your daughter rescued the former queen's heart. Some of it hides."
Snow lifted her lantern and indicated the mine before them. "Where else is it hiding?"
Rumpelstiltskin twitched his fingers in the air and took a step towards her. The glittering sheen had crept back onto his skin, making him golden in the weak light. "Shouldn't you be at the castle, trying not to listen to the sounds of your dear daughter's wedding night carrying through the walls?"
"My kingdom must be safe. Emma found some of the darkness here, I need to know about the rest."
"I hate to remind you, but you have no magic, your majesty. There's little you can do."
Snow rested her hand on the dagger tucked into her belt. She'd left her finery behind, finding it easier to slip through her people when she dressed simply. "My daughter and my new daughter-in-law have magic. If I know what's happening, they can stop it."
"You'd risk their lives?"
"They're heroes," Snow replied. "I won't even need to ask."