Chapter Seventeen

The sunlight breaking through the cracks of his blinds drew him from the warm comfort of his sleep. It had been the most restful night that he'd had in ages, and he was loath to end it.

Taryn was snuggled against his side, her cinnamon hair streaming over his pillows. He turned his head to breathe in her soft vanilla scent. He placed a kiss against her bare shoulder, which had escaped from the neckline of his tee-shirt, before gently untangling himself from her arms. He pulled the covers more snugly against her, smiling a bit when she burrowed into their warmth.

Jumping in the shower, he stood under the hot pounding water letting it get rid of the lingering muzziness of sleep. Wrapping a towel around his waist, he quickly went back to his room and slipped on a pair of black sweats before heading to the kitchen to start a pot of coffee.

He was sitting down at the small kitchen table, listening to the coffee pot gurgle and pop as hot water began to stream into the carafe, when Rico's voice startled him.

"Morning, bro," Rico said sleepily, his eyes half mast. He sat down heavily across from Draco, his hand against his forehead, obviously nursing a hangover.

"Morning," Draco said lowly in return, his voice a bit raspy from disuse.

Rico sat down in the chair across from Draco at the small square table. He drummed his hands against the wood for a moment before speaking. "So, did Taryn sleep over?"

"Yeah," Draco said yawning.

"She seems nice," Rico said carefully.

Draco looked at him sharply. He was wary of the tone that Rico was using. "Yeah, she is. What about it?"

"Nothing really, its just that she isn't your usual type. I mean, she really is a nice girl, I can tell. She doesn't seem like the type that will just let you fuck her and then leave," Rico said bluntly.

Draco grimaced. Well, at least Rico always keeps it real with me, he thought. "I don't know, man. We just click I guess. She isn't like the other girls to me. They didn't really mean anything. I wasn't a total ass to them, but all of them knew that it wasn't anything more than sex. Taryn is on a whole different level. I mean, I'm considering shit that I never thought I would. I know that she is too good for me, and I'm being selfish by staying with her. I really want her as long as she wants to be with me."

Draco looked surprised at what he'd revealed. Rico could tell that this was the first time that Draco had allowed his feelings to be articulated. He'd all but said that he was in love with the girl.

"Well, Brandi was pretty pissed," Rico said, changing the topic. "I'm surprised that steam didn't blow out of her ears when Taryn walked in with you. You should have heard the things that came out of her mouth when you left with Taryn. I bet she had a whole plan to either go back with you, or get you back to her flat.

"Brandi wasn't invited anyway. She is really starting to get on my nerves. What did she expect? I haven't shagged her since way before I went to school, hell, I haven't even called her. Fuck, between her here, and Pansy back at school...I can't catch a break," Draco grumbled, standing to pour himself a cup of coffee. Despite, being a bad ass, Draco liked his coffee milky and very sweet, a fact that Rico made fun of often, thinking it far more manly to drink the brew black.

"Damn, bro, you want some coffee with that milk and sugar?" Rico joked without fail.

"Just because you like the shit black and strong enough to peel paint, doesn't mean I gotta suffer and do the same," Draco ribbed right back.

This is nice, he thought to himself. Staying with his brother always seemed to put him back in the right frame of mind. He could drop the Malfoy exterior for a moment and just be the person that he actually was.

"You know what is bothering me the most?" Draco asked, turning the conversation back to Taryn.

"What?" Rico asked curiously.

"I'm kind of having a jealousy issue," Draco mumbled.

That surprised a laugh from Rico. "You are having a jealousy issue? You?"

Draco scowled. "Don't laugh, I'm serious."

Rico sobered. "You've just been bitten by the bug. You love her."

Draco blinked owlishly. "No, its not just that," he said, not realizing that he had agreed with his brother's statement,"I just about took this guys head off at school when he said he wanted her. I want to rip off the head, and piss down the neck of any guy who looks at her more than five minutes. Its just not normal."

Rico was wide eyed. He'd thought that the incident last night with the spiky haired guy was out of the ordinary, but since it had also been funny as hell he hadn't let it trouble him overly much. "Maybe you should talk to her about it," he suggested.

"I'm going to have to, I guess," Draco said, before sipping at his coffee. "We are supposed to talk about our relationship today."

Rico grimaced at Draco's statement. No guy ever really wanted to talk about the relationship he was having. It usually spelled trouble. If it was going well, why did you have to talk about it? Usually it often boiled down to what the bloke was doing wrong and how he should improve. Rico shuddered. He was glad he wasn't in his brother's shoes.

"Rico," a sleepy feminine voice called, "You coming back to bed sweetums?"

"Sweetums?" Draco asked with a snicker, eying his brother.

"Fuck off," he whispered fiercely at Draco, scowling as Draco continued to laugh. "Yeah, I'll be back in a second," Rico called out in a much gentler tone than he had used with Draco.

"Leah?" Draco asked Rico with one eyebrow risen,when he had gained control of himself.

"Yeah, that's her," Rico said, actually flushing a bit.

"You pulling a repeat?" Draco asked, slightly astonished. Rico was even more of a player than he was, and he didn't usually hook up with a girl more than once.

"Yeah, well, You think you have the monopoly on girlfriends?" Rico asked defensively.

Draco's brow raised at his brother using the term girlfriend. "No, mate, I'm just a little surprised. How long have you been going with her?"

"About a month," Rico said, surprising Draco further. "I met her at that coffee shop around the corner. You know, the one with the good cinnamon rolls? It was really just coincidence that she worked at Bianchi's too. She had actually just started a couple of days before we met. I really like her though. She didn't know all the shit about me at first and it was nice to talk to a girl that didn't just want to fuck me cuz I'm a fighter. I mean, yeah, I can get pussy whenever I want, but sometimes that shit gets old, you know?"

"I know what you mean," was all Draco said in reply. He really did understand. If someone had asked him a few months ago if he'd be contemplating a monogamous relationship he'd have laughed in their face. Now though, he thought, looking back toward his bedroom where Taryn was sleeping peacefully, it wasn't such a bizarre notion. He stood with a stretch, drained his coffee cup, and headed back to his bedroom.

Taryn was still asleep, but she had obviously gotten hot, because the covers were kicked away from her body and spilled over the side of the bed. Either that, or without him in the bed to keep the covers where they aught to be, she had allowed her wild sleeping patterns to deprive her of the comfort of the blankets.

She stirred slightly, her forehead wrinkling, when he placed a gentle kiss near her hairline. He pushed his fingers in her soft hair. "Wake up baby," he said softly.

"Just five more minutes mum," she mumbled under her breath.

Draco's lips quirked in amusement at her statement. His hand ran down to rub against her back softly. He had learned that Taryn needed to wake up gently if he didn't want to suffer the wrath of her grumpiness in the morning.

"Come, on baby. If you get up now I'll make you breakfast," he cajoled.

Taryn's eyes popped open as her muzziness faded and the masculine voice that was speaking to her clicked in her mind. She obviously wasn't in her room at home. The events of the previous night came back to her and she popped upright in the bed.

"Shit! Nigel and Jillian are going to be so worried!" She pushed back the covers and stood, giving Draco a glimpse of very shapely legs as she began to scan the floor.

"Have you seen my wand?" She asked frantically.

"You call your parents Nigel and Jillian?" Draco asked, slightly amused. She looked rather cute in her panicked state as she began to pick through the discarded clothes that littered the floor.

"It's just a thing I do...ugh...never mind. Have you seen my wand?" She asked again.

"Check your coat pocket," Draco suggested, motioning to the leather jacket hanging on the back of his desk chair.

"Good idea," she said, sighing in relief when she pulled the wand from the inside coat pocket.

"Voce coniungere," she said, her wand making a practiced sideways sweeping motion.

Draco walked quickly to his door, shutting it firmly as a wavering circle began to appear in the air, growing clearer and clearer until the face of an older gentleman was revealed. A face that was equal parts angry and worried. Draco respectfully stood off to the side, unsure of whether or not Taryn wanted him seen.

"Taryn! Where the hell are you? I can't believe that you would leave the benefit like that! Do you know how worried Jillian and I have been? Where are you? Where have you been all night? Sasha told us a crazy story about you leaving with some bloke who I later found out was Draco Malfoy! His family is full of Death Eaters! He could do anything to you! I won't allow–"

"Dad," Taryn interrupted, "Stop. I'm fine, and I'm sorry that I worried you, but I don't regret leaving. Sasha was being an utter ass. He spent the short time that we were there pawing me and trying to get me into bed. I know that that really doesn't excuse me leaving without your knowledge, and I apologize for that, but I don't regret leaving with Draco. You don't know him like I do. He would never hurt me. Regardless of what some of his family might be doing, he would never ever hurt me. I think I am a pretty good judge of character, and I wish you would trust me."

She didn't see Draco bow his head in shame. She was defending him without even knowing that he really was a Death Eater, one that was plotting murder and lying to her everyday that he didn't tell her. He was doing only what he thought he had to, but the fact that she was defending him both warmed him and cut him to ribbons. He didn't deserve her trust.

"I would trust your judgment more if you didn't act like a child," Nigel was saying.

Taryn sighed. She could see that the conversation wasn't going to go well. "Why don't we talk about this more when I get home?"

"What do you mean when you get home?" Nigel said angrily. "You need to get home this instant! If you don't–"

Taryn waved her wand again, ending the the connection before Nigel could finish his sentence. She turned to Draco. "I'm sorry about that. I guess I just didn't think about how it would look when we left the way we did," she said glumly.

Draco realized that he hadn't either, and closed his eyes for a moment at his stupidity. He'd probably placed a target on her back because he couldn't control his stupid jealousy. Being involved at school was entirely different from being involved at a wizarding high society party. At best his mother would probably be expecting an engagement announcement. At worst he'd have to present her to the Dark Lord. Fuck that, he thought, I'll slit my fucking wrists before I bring her to him.

"Well, I guess its about time you realized what being with me might bring," Draco said darkly. "Maybe we shouldn't do this Taryn."

He was going to do it. If she wanted out, he was going to give it to her. He examined the UFC poster on his wall, as he waited for her to drop the bomb.

He was surprised when he felt her soft hands clasp his, before reaching up to turn his face to hers. She tiptoed, placing a soft kiss against his lips. "I didn't mean it like that. I'm sorry that you had to hear my dad talk about you like that. And no."

"No?" he repeated. "No to what?"

"No you don't get to do this again. I'm old enough to make my own decisions about who I want to be with, and you don't get to put this on my shoulders. If you don't want to be with me then just say it. I can handle it. I won't be happy about it, but I can handle it."

"Look, about what you dad said...It's nothing that I haven't heard before," he said, ignoring her statement about their relationship. He wasn't ready to touch that yet.

Taryn frowned. She didn't like the evasion, but she decided to let it slide for now. "I don't care if you have heard it before. I don't like it being said about you and I won't have the people in my life saying it to you."

His lips quirked sadly at her statement.

It was quiet for a moment before she asked, "What were you doing at the charity ball anyway?"

"Mum is always involved with something. She even used to be on the Hogwarts school board, at least until my second year. She roped me into attending. It's just one of the obligations that she has as a society type," he said.

"Really? You don't consider yourself a society type?" She asked, one brow rising in question.

"I consider myself a society prisoner," he quipped, "but yeah, my Mum is going through a tough time. If it makes her feel better that I show up for a few minutes then I can oblige her," he said.

He began to think about more of the aspects of the party. He felt the words coming to his mouth and couldn't stop them if he had tried. "Who was that bloke you were there with?"

"He's just a friend of the family," Taryn said carefully. She didn't know how best to explain Sasha when she hadn't even explained herself.

Draco's eyes began to glint. "He seemed to think that he was way more than a friend. At least judging by that lover comment," he said lowly.

Taryn wanted to scream in exasperation. "You have absolutely nothing to worry about. I can say with all honesty that Sasha has never been my lover." She hoped that he didn't catch the emphasis on the word my.

It was time for their talk. She was beyond tired of dodging the verbal landmines. She ran a hand through her hair, before pulling out her wand, looping her hair up and sticking her wand in the bun to secure it. "I think that it might be time for our talk. It might clear up a few things at best."

Draco looked suddenly apprehensive. He didn't know what was coming, but if she was going to be straight with him, then he was going to have to do the same. It was time, but that didn't mean he wasn't going to make one last attempt to stall.

"Are you sure that you don't want breakfast first? I make pretty awesome waffles," he said jokingly, trying in vain to diffuse the sudden tension that had clouded the room.

"I don't think I can get all of this out if I take the time to eat, but if you still want to cook me breakfast after I tell you this then I would love to try your waffles," Taryn said, smiling sadly.

Draco's brow crinkled in confusion. What could she have to tell him that was so bad?

Taryn's eyes closed for a moment, before opening and staring intently into his. "I'm not sure where to begin. This is going to sound crazy to you, and even if you believe me, which would be unbelievable in and of itself, you probably wont want to talk to me after. I've done some completely horrible things that you might not forgive me for."

"Can you just come and sit by me?" she asked when he didn't say anything. She grasped his hand and pulled him to sit beside her on the unmade bed.

"I guess I should start by telling you that I'm not who you think I am."

Draco stared at her as crazy thoughts began to go through his mind. "Polyjuice?" he asked hoarsely. Logically he knew that that couldn't be the case. They spent so much time together that he would have noticed her steadily drinking the potion.

"No!," Taryn exclaimed, before she sighed tiredly. "There isn't a way to gently lead into this, I guess, so I'm going to have to just say it. I'm not Tracey Davis. I look like her, and sound like her. I even dance like her, but I am not her. I'm Hermione Granger," she said in a voice so quiet it was almost a whisper.

Draco stared at her in shock for a moment.

"Baby, you're just tired," Draco began.

"No," Taryn interrupted, standing, her body rigid with tension. "Its true."

"Taryn. Maybe we should take you to St. Mungo's. That accident you had...Well I've had enough knocks to the head to know that sometimes it can leave you in a weird place, but baby you can't be her. She's dead remember?" Draco spoke to her gently. He wasn't sure what to do with this. When he'd imagined the talk that they'd have, her revealing that she was a dead girl definitely hadn't figured into the equation.

Taryn winced at his statement. Well, at least he didn't just call her insane outright. "Merlin...You didn't know me well enough when I was Hermione. This would be so much easier if you had, but please...just listen. I need to get all of this out, and if you don't believe me or want me after I promise I'll leave and never bother you again." And she would, even if it would break her heart.

Draco nodded. Obviously she was going through something and despite the craziness that was coming out of her mouth he felt compelled to listen. What would be the point?

"I know it sounds insane, but I am Hermione. Hermione Jean Granger. I grew up in London. My parents, Daniel and Claire, are both dentists. I went to St. Mary's Catholic Primary School up until I was got my letter from Hogwarts. My parents, being Muggles, were rather shocked, but it did explain some of the odd things that seemed to happen to me and around me."

"I was excited and scared shitless all at the same time. I've always liked learning and it was literally a whole new world just opening to me, but it changed when I finally arrived at school. It wasn't the fairy tale that I expected it to be. I wasn't just another student. I was Muggle-born at best and Mudblood at worst. I made the decision to do the best that I could to excel at everything thrown at me." She took a breath, not meeting his eyes as she began to pace the room.

"Its not easy to make friends when you are labeled the know-it-all. Harry, and Ron especially, disliked me at first. It took me almost being killed by a troll in the girl's lavatory before we actually became friends. Being their friend kind of gave my life purpose, because frankly I was floundering. I mean, I was a little girl that had dreamed her whole life of becoming a teacher, or maybe a lawyer. Instead I was girl thrown into a culture that I knew nothing about, and one that an entire group of people that already hated me purely on principle. Eventually, though, I found my place. Harry was really like the brother I never had, and Ron...well I wasn't sure what we were or what we might have been."

Draco watched her quietly. She wounded so earnest...he was even beginning to slightly believe her, but if it was true it did bring up several questions. He opened his mouth to ask those, but she held up one hand.

"Please, just let me finish. I haven't even gotten to the worse part yet. First I want you to know that I love you."

Draco had to break in on this. "Hermione Granger would have never loved me. In fact, I'm pretty sure that she hated me."

"No, she didn't – I didn't," Taryn amended. "I don't think that I ever truly hated you. I won't mince words...I disliked you loads. You just rubbed me the wrong way. I know that I did the same to you."

It was true. Draco had disliked Hermione Granger with an intensity that she really hadn't merited. Yes, she had been a know-it-all like she had said, but she really hadn't been any worse than anyone else. Part of the reason was that she was friends with Harry Potter, and that was the one bloke that he couldn't stand. Another part, if he was being perfectly honest, was that he had thought that she was attractive. Not in the in your face sort of way, but she had been, and it had pissed him off that he had thought so since she had hated him so much. That and the fact that girls hating him wasn't something that he had ever been used to.

She ran a hand through her hair before speaking once more. "I died in the Department of Mysteries. I was hit with a curse cast by Antonin Dolohov. It wasn't as blessedly fast as the killing curse, and I felt every scrap of agony running through my body until I finally died. When I woke up I was in a place that wasn't a place, and I spoke to a person who wasn't a person. They gave me a choice. To come back as someone else or to go to Heaven."

"Why didn't you just go to Heaven," Draco blurted out. It was the only thing that he could think to say that might stave the panic that was roiling through him at the thought of her hurt or dead. He had to breathe deeply for a few minutes before returning his attention back to her.

"I felt like I had left things unfinished. I wasn't ready to die yet, and when they gave me the choice, I took it. I didn't care who I had to be or where I was placed. I just wanted to come back and help Harry. To help the cause."

"You haven't been helping him. You've been with me. That is pretty much the exact opposite of helping Potter," Draco said bluntly, his mouth drawn into a line.

Taryn's face crumpled, and fat tears began to course down her face. "The thing is, I intended to help Harry all along. I didn't know how I was going to do that at first. At first I was horrified to learn that I was in Slytherin House, practically surrounded by those that would hate me for sure if they knew who I was, it was only later that I saw it as a golden opportunity. After I realized that Harry suspected you..." she took a deep breath, "I was going to spy on you. To get as close to you as I could, and tell Harry anything that seemed important."

Draco stood abruptly. "Spy for Potter...That's why you..." He shut his eyes for a moment. It felt like he was standing in a swirling miasma of emotion. Confusion, betrayal, and Merlin help him, love all warred with each other within him. "Does Potter know just how far you will go to help the cause, as you call it? That you made yourself into a whore for him?" he asked bitterly, but as soon as he said the word he wanted to call it back. Her stricken face literally made him hurt inside.

"I suppose that I deserve that, but I didn't betray you. Harry doesn't know anything," she said, wiping her tears away on the sleeve of his black shirt she was still wearing.

"What about that day in the library? What were you telling him then? Trying to convince him that you were Hermione too? Or were you just laughing at how easily I was manipulated?"

"Please," she said brokenly, "Just listen. Let me finish. I didn't tell him anything. Nobody but you knows who I am. They didn't give me a choice. I wasn't allowed to reveal myself to anyone. This only recently changed but I could only tell one person, and you were the only person that I wanted to tell. I'm putting my life in your hands, because I know. I know, Draco."

He didn't need to ask what she knew. The look on her face said it all, and while he was only doing what he though he should, he felt ashamed to be laid so bare in front of her. He had been so careful. How did she know? "How?"

"I...I overheard you and Snape talking. I pieced it together."

"Should I expect the authorities to be here shortly?" he asked, leaning his head forward and rubbing the back of his neck in fatigue. His shoulder's slumped as he turned away.

"No. I haven't told anyone, and I don't intend to."

He whipped back to her. "Why? Why haven't you told? Because you love me?" He allowed the glamour to fade from the skin of his forearm and held it up for her to see. "That doesn't change the reality of this. This mark was etched into my skin willingly. You've never been a thick girl, Hermione," He watched her knee-jerk reaction to the use of her true name. "Why not give me up to the Ministry? I'm sure they would love to rip secrets from me, and not in so pleasing a manner as you have."

He needed to get her away from him. He could pretend that it wasn't wrong to have her around him when he was anything but good, but her revelations had ripped away the pretense, leaving it to shatter and burn. He would do anything, say anything if it meant keeping her safe.

She walked to him again, reaching a hand out tentatively to touch his bicep and seemingly drawing hope when he didn't pull away. "I lied about many things, but it wasn't a lie when I told you that I love you, but you need to be honest as well. I'm not the only one here with secrets and lies upon lies. We both are damaged, and I think that the only way that we can be whole is with each other."

She moved closer, wrapping her arms around his waist and resting her head against his chest.

"You need to leave Taryn," he murmured, but his actions belied his words. He was drawing her closer as well, wishing there was nothing between them. Simply his skin on hers. "This is your last chance. If you don't go now I won't ever be able to let you go," he said quietly.

"There isn't anywhere else that I want to be. I want to hear something from you," she said her voice muffled against his chest.

"What?" he asked warily. He imagined her asking him to do all sorts of things, the worst being asked to befriend Potter, but he was shocked by what she actually wanted from him, though he shouldn't have been. It was what every woman wanted to hear from the man she loved.

"I want to hear you say it. At least once. I know you are. I know you feel it," she said softly.

If she was looking at him, she would have seen his face, for once unguarded in emotion. "I'll say it when I'm worthy of you." He knew that it wasn't the exact admission that she wanted, but it was all that he could offer in this moment. He couldn't believe that she was here in his arms, knowing what he was, and loving him regardless.

Leaning back, she looked into his eyes. He could tell that she wasn't completely satisfied, but was content to leave it for the moment. "So, what do we do next?" She asked.

He only drew her closer again, and they stood for several minutes in silence.