A/N: The response to this story has been great. It means the world to me that people take time to read this. Thanks to everyone who has read, reviewed, followed or favorited!

And I just wanted to point out that this chapter is a flashback. There will be flashbacks through the entire story.

Special thanks to samcarter1980, jenny crum, OliviaC13, Jotchprossi18, Criminalmindschick221 and WhiteKnight0127!

I don't own criminal minds!

Chapter 1: The Vanishing

September 23rd 2006

It was a rainy day in Portland, Oregon. As JJ looked out the window a chill went down her spine. She had a bad feeling she couldn't shake. But the two strong arms wrapped around her waist made her forget that feeling.

''What's going on babe?'' Hotch asked as he softly kissed her neck. ''You feel tense.'' he added.

In his warm embrace, she listened to his steady breathing, trying to still her racing thoughts. ''How long are we going to keep this up?''

He pulled back and sat down on the edge of the bed. ''What do you mean?''

''You know what I mean, Hotch.'' she said.

''No, I don't.'' he lied.

She whirled toward him with a sigh. ''You don't want to talk about it?'' she asked, waiting for him to answer. But he never did. ''Fine. But I'm sick of this.'' she snapped.

''What's that supposed to mean?''

She turned around angrily. ''This! All of it.'' she said. ''It was all supposed to be over. You already should've left Haley and you still haven't.''

Hotch started to feel defensive. ''Okay,'' he said calmly. ''You know I have Jack to think about, JJ. And I thought you were okay with all of this.''

She threw up her hands in the air. ''Of course I'm not fine with any of this. I never wanted to be in this situation in the first place.'' she tried to explain, but Hotch caught her off before she could begin another sentence.

''Is that what all of this is about? I have responsibilities, JJ. Believe it or not but I just can't walk out.'' he snarled. ''You knew what you were getting into when we started this whole thing.''

''I know, but…''

''But what?''

When she couldn't find the words, she folded her arms and sat down in a chair. But she wasn't comfortable and rose after a single second. She paced up and down the room until she stopped right in front of him. ''But I…I…I,'' she stumbled. ''I didn't expect that I would fall in love with you.'' she admitted bluntly.

He was at a complete loss of words. She loved him. That was the last thing he ever expected to hear from her. ''JJ!'' he warned when he saw the tears in her eyes.

She took a step backwards. ''So what do I mean to you?'' she asked, realizing he wasn't going give her a straight answer. So, she turned around and grabbed her bag on the way out the door.

''JJ! Wait!'' Hotch exclaimed as he followed her. ''Don't leave like this.''

She spun around. ''No, I'm done waiting, Hotch.'' she said sadly. ''You know this is not me. I've been giving up so much of myself just hoping that you would turn around and really notice me. But I miss being me.'' she went on. ''I just can't do this any longer.'' she said before she closed the hotel room door.

The following evening, the team was sitting around a small table in the conference room. They had just delivered the profile of their unsub. Now they were going through files of people who had histories of abuse. But there were too many of them, so it took the entire team to go through the files. Reid was the only one enjoying their task.

JJ had a file in her hands that fitted their profile exactly. She went over some details one last time. She wanted to be sure before she was announcing it to the team. ''I think I have someone.'' she said, breaking the silence in the room.

Hotch looked up from his file, making eye contact with the blonde. But she adverted her eyes immediately. ''Does he fit the profile?''

''Yes,'' she answered while handing the file to Reid.

''Male. 45.'' he summed up. ''He lost his job about two months ago and his wife just filed for divorce. And he also owns a property in the woods.''

Derek knew JJ was right about this guy. Everything fitted. ''This has to be the guy, Hotch.'' he started. ''He has the means to torture his victims without anyone knowing what he's doing.''

''I'll call Garcia.'' Prentiss said. She took out her phone and dialed the number while it was on speaker.

''Hello my gorgeous friend.'' Garcia greeted happily. ''Are you calling about our plans with JJ? Because I thought we could go to…'' she trailed off.

Emily interrupted her. ''We have a name. We need you to check it out Penelope.''

''Oh,'' she said. ''Let me guess I'm on speaker. Thank god you interrupted me, E. We don't want the boys to know what we do outside of work. Right JJ?''

JJ started blushing when she felt all eyes on her. ''Yes, Pen.'' she answered. ''But what can you tell us about Doug Williams?''

Garcia was typing in the name. The information appeared on her screen within seconds. ''Doug Williams, 45, got fired from his construction job. He hasn't been doing much. His credit card history shows nothing.'' she said. ''Oh, his wife filed for divorce.''

''What can you tell us about the properties he owns?'' Hotch asked.

''He owns a suburban home in the city. And he owns a big patch of land in the woods. From what I can find there is a cabin and two barns on the property.''

Derek took the phone away from Emily. ''Thanks, baby girl.'' he said with a teasing voice. ''And I just wanted to let you know that I will find out what you girls are up to.''

''You couldn't handle it!'' she teased. ''Be safe my great courageous friends. Love you all!''

Most of the team members were laughing after Garcia hung up. ''Okay,'' Hotch began. ''We'll split up into two teams. I want Reid, Derek and Gideon to take the cabin. Prentiss, JJ and I will take the barns on the property.'' he ordered.

JJ silently rose from her chair. She was about to leave the room with the rest of the team when Hotch held her back. ''I'm sorry,'' was all he could muster in that moment.

''Don't.'' she warned with her back still to him.

''I don't know what I'm supposed to say. Unless…'' he trailed of while JJ turned to him. He saw the tears running down her cheeks, and the fact that she had been crying so silently made him ache.

''Unless what?''

''I honestly don't know, JJ. I do know that I can't stand to hurt you.''

She gave him a sad little smile. ''I know you wouldn't intentionally hurt me, Hotch. It's not who you are.'' she agreed softly. ''But I know I need a break from this. Maybe, I'll find someone one day who can give me what I want. I just know that you can't.''

Hotch was about to talk when Emily stormed into the room with JJ's kevlar-vest. ''Oh, sorry.'' she apologized when she felt the tension in the room.

''I should get ready.'' Hotch excused.

Emily handed JJ the vest while her eyes followed Hotch. ''What was that about?'' she asked suspiciously.

JJ shrugged her shoulders, trying to keep herself composed. She didn't want Emily to find out about her and Hotch's ordeal. ''Nothing.'' she lied.

''Okay.'' Emily said with annoyance, reminding herself to ask JJ again after the case was over. She knew something was wrong between her friend and Hotch. She just didn't want to get into it during a case.

''Let's go.'' JJ said.

The drive to the woods was silent. Outside the weather seemed to get worse. It was another half an hour before the team arrived on the land. The team and SWAT silently gathered around the SUV. Hotch took the lead immediately.

''I want one team to take the cabin and the rest of us will check the barns.'' he ordered. ''Morgan you're running point on the cabin.'' he said, waiting for the first strike team to leave.

JJ felt a shiver go down her spine, hearing the howling wind echoing through the large trees. The darkness was taking over her sight. She tried to focus on Hotch's orders, but she could barely focus.

''Prentiss can take one team inside the barn on the eastside. JJ and I will take the other barn.''

JJ stepped in front of Hotch. ''Can I go with Prentiss?'' she asked carefully.

''Sure,'' Hotch answered simply. ''Be careful.'' he said affectionately before she walked away.

JJ pulled out her gun, following Emily into the deep woods. The dark clouds followed them as they slowly moved forward through the woods. The leaves cracked under her boots while they reflected the moonlit sky. The wind seemed to have taken on a life of its own. JJ almost jumped when Emily came up from behind her.

''Are you okay?'' Emily asked with worry.

''Fine.'' she replied. ''I'll take the back.'' she suggested when they reached the barn.

''Are you sure we should split up?'' Emily asked, but JJ was already gone.

As JJ moved to the back of the barn it felt like someone was watching her from a distance. The hairs on the back of her neck told her to move back. But she didn't. They needed to find the unsub. She stopped in front of an old wooden door. The floorboards creaked under her steps as she slowly began to open the door. The barn was pitch black when she stepped inside. She switched on the lights. When she took another step forward, the door slammed shut behind her and the lights went out. She turned around in one spin, breathing heavily and getting more terrified. The moonlight was shinning of metal objects. As she gazed around the barn, a dark silhouette in the mirror caught her attention. She instantly drew her gun, trying to defend herself. But her gaze darkened as a hand silenced her screams, echoing through the dark barn. The person grabbed her from behind, overpowering her. The last thing she felt was a sharp pain going through her body. And then everything went black.

Emily was about to open another door to the barn when she heard JJ's loud screams. She kicked down the door while SWAT followed her inside the barn. The flashlights showed closets' and cupboard, covered in tools and instruments.

''JJ?'' Emily called out as she kept her gun in front of her. The adrenaline was pumping through her veins. She could only hear her heart beating in her chest. ''JJ?'' she called out again, but once again there was no answer.

Emily suddenly stopped when she stepped onto something hard. Pointing the flashlight on the floor, she could see JJ's gun, credentials and vest in a pool of blood. The sight in front of her made her knees go weak. She dropped to the floor as her entire body started to shake.

Hotch and SWAT cleared the barn on the other side of the property. He was on his way toward the other barn when he suddenly heard Emily's trembling voice over the radio.

''JJ!'' she called out. ''JJ is gone!''